An innocent post on Something Awful about the love of a psycho for her brainless child brought out strange feelings of sympathy and disgust among Goons in regards to the story of poor Myah Walker, 23-year-old single mom of a special needs kid with Anencephaly. Goons, being a compassionate lot, decided to dig a little deeper into this fabulous, tawdry soap opera of a fundie pro-life girl and her meatsack.
Twenty-some pages later, they struck gold.
Jesus Loves Me! I think...
Myah is a Canadian born-again Christian (as of Easter 2008) who enjoys such activities as pissing off the locals of Moncton, NB, by open-air preaching with some douche who has a soul patch that she found on a message board. During the summer of 2008, a couple of months after she converted to hardcore fundamentalist Christianity, Myah discovered she was pregnant with a half-brained baby whom she unironically named Faith Hope. A normal person would have aborted that shit with quickness, but our girl Myah decided to use the Zombaby as a tool of pro-life propaganda, going on speaking tours, creating blogs, and asking for prayers, drugs, brains, strollers and whatever else she could grub to appease the world's tiniest zombie.
Blessed baby Faith Hope entered this cruel world on February 19th, 2009. She lives with her mother, who tapes her eyes shut to make sure they don't fall out. Baby Faith's hobbies include gasping for breath, drooling, twitching spastically, and lying around like a slug while her mother pokes her and laughs.
Her mother believes that she is truly advanced for her age. Watch out, MENSA, you'll have a new member joining your ranks soon!
—Myah truly believes her baby is normal.
The Plot Sickens
When a young Christian girl gets pregnant and forms a brainless babby, something's not right. That something was Myah's Baby Daddy and that's how, somehow, it was discovered that Dan Lirette, Myah's married preacher, had gotten her pregnant and abandoned her. This led to one hell of a mass Googling of Dan Liretter, wherein it was discovered that his batshittery reached whole new levels. Apparently this faggot is a philandering cocksucker who has knocked up at least 100 summer interns at Highfield Baptist Church. Because he is a married hypocrite, Dan refused to be a decent human being and totally abandoned Myah and refused to acknowledge or take care of his zombaby. According to Myah her doctors all wanted to cunt scrape her child, but Jesus wouldn't allow her to do that. The tortured couple went their separate ways: Dan went back to his clueless, idiotic wife and Myah went to prepare for the organ harvest.
The Dan Lirette Factor
Dan Lirette is a self-proclaimed open-air preacher from Moncton, NB. His gospel is available for download online, and he posts his Fundamentalist batshittery on over 9,000 different forums and websites.
Luckily for us, he posted all about his endeavors online. Up to and including fucking Myah.
—Dan Walker, shortly before getting into Myah's pants.
Oh Lord, the Devil got into my penis and made me sin! Forgive me, Jesus!
—Dan Lirette admits to knocking up Myah Walker.
Of course, as soon as Dan realized that the internet had figured out his little secret, he hastily went back to every forum post of his and removed the incriminating evidence. Unfortunately for him, he didn't realize that Anonymous never forgets.
Leave Myah Alone!
The Internet Hate Machine kicked into top gear, and Myah soon found her blog at the center of internet dramas. Not too surprising, considering that Myah posted that shit in public. Both Reddit.com and Something Awful took her story and ran with it, leading to several sick fucks emailing her with suggestions about how to off the zombaby.
Myah and her hugbox were not pleased, so they called God's wrath down from the Heavens.
—Myah sees the agents of Satan working through the Something Awful.com forums.
Myah Walker The Crazy Stalker
Reports have surfaced that Myah is now demanding payment from Dan Lirette for child support on a dead Zombaby
- The original blog for the meatsack.
- The at least 100+ page SA thread
- Reddit.com thread
- Facebook prayer group, now private.
- Dan Lirette's homepage
- Myah and Dan Walker handing out CD tracts.
- Myah preaching at the CN building, with added creepy background fapping.
- Dan Walker's hilarious video testimony
- Saved copy of Dan Walker admitting to knocking up Myah Walker.
- Myah & Dan condemning shoppers to hell, a fundie version of foreplay.
- Anencephalic baby and mom subject of hate campaign. Good going internet!
- The Observers article about mommy and zombaby
- The original post that Myah found her baby's daddy with.