NKO

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NKO's father, deliverer of spankings

In the running for the position of worst cretin to ever receive administrative status on Encyclopedia Dramatica, NKO, aka jordanwhitehouse or Jordan Robotham, comes in a close third, only behind ByAppointmentTo and Onideus. Originally promoted by Zaiger only due to his constant activity (as NKO receives a sound three hours of sleep on a nightly basis, the rest of his time was spent espousing The GRIDS that is killing ED), NKO proved to be much, much more of a burden than an asset via his continuous emails and "trolling" of useful users. After deciding that they would no longer desire to put up with his self-perceived hilarious fried chicken jokes, members of ED IRC began a campaign to rid this glorious establishment of NKO's presence, with great success.

(cur | prev) 00:23, 18 March 2014 NKO (Talk | contribs) m (5,507 bytes) (Protected "User talk:NKO": Excessive vandalism ([edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite))) 

NKO's superb sysadministrating methods.

Contents

Mental Health

Dr. fl0ss

After a psycho-analogy session with the local ED psychiatrist, NKO was identified as being in the onset of paranoid schizophrenia, a follow-up diagnosis has yet to be completed.

Such evidence of NKO's condition include:

  • Delusions: NKO has, multiple times, formulated nongermane accusations that dissimilar users are Grace Saunders (NKO's unhealthy obsession with Saunders should be noted).
  • "Gangstalking" hallucinations: NKO would often ban known open proxies with the rationale always leading to his pal Saunders, such activity indicates he may additionally be having delusions of "gangstalking".
  • Self-important mannerisms: Among the uncounted examples, NKO would always find it necessary to hide and delete random page revisions, constantly seeking a means of flaunting his precious power on the internet.

NKO was prescribed a hearty 30mg of aripiprazole in addition to a side of 2mg lorazepam. His last efforts to promote his "ingenious" humor indicate he has not been properly administering his medication.

He's a Big Man... but only Online

Taken straight from his talk page:

HEY FAGGOT

I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY POWER TRIPPING ABOUT YOUR INAPPRECIABLE STATUS OF AN ADMINISTRATOR OF A DYING WEBSITE, BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO HIDE EVERY FUCKING DELETED PAGE AND/OR IMAGE SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN YOU MENSTRUATING DYKE WITH THE SENSE OF HUMOR OF A 13-YEAR-OLD Irina Transparent.png 07:11, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

Mind your own business aspie. ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 07:18, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
YES HELLO, MY NAME IS NKO, MY ABILITIES INCLUDING RETORTING WITH AD HOMINEMS IN REPLACE OF RATIONALIZATION

Irina Transparent.png 07:23, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

Your autism's pretty entertaining. ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 07:26, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
I HOPE YOU FIND IT AS FUNNY AS YOU DO "FRIED CHIKKIN" JOKES

Irina Transparent.png 07:28, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

ARE YOU GOING TO RESPOND OR JUST THINK OF MORE DIM-WITTED REPLIES TO ANYTHING REMOTELY OFFENSIVE TO YOUR SELF-PERCEIVED GOD STATUS

Irina Transparent.png 07:52, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

are you going to shut the fuck up or are you just gonna fag up rc like a 13 year old? ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 07:54, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
THE IRONY IS KILLING ME YOU PROLE

Irina Transparent.png 08:00, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

haha, nobody gives a fuck ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 08:07, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
Sysop Meepsheep is trying provoke you, I think it is best to ignore him. Sysop Meepsheep, in case you're reading this, please listen to reasons and stop this nonsense. It is very immature and childish, and no one win anything from it. I mean give peace a chance. Thanks. LIATBuster30011 08:05, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
NKO WILL BE ENDLESSLY GLOATING HIS "POWER" AS IT IS ALL HE HAS TO HANG ONTO IN THIS LIFETIME, ADDITIONALLY DON'T CHANGE MY MESSAGES YOU ILLITERATE SCUM

Irina Transparent.png 08:58, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

fyi, that was LIATBuster. and second, shut up and take ur pills. ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 09:01, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
I'M JUST WAITING FOR A LOGICAL REBUKE, BUT OBVIOUSLY YOUR IQ LEVEL MUST BE LESS THAN 100

Irina Transparent.png 09:03, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

thank you for pointing that out captain obvious whatchu gonna do about it? ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 09:09, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND THE POINT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET ACROSS HERE?

Irina Transparent.png 09:15, 22 May 2013 (EDT)

Are you gonna calm your tits and go back to wanking to your precious Irina-san like how you ways do sitting your fatass in front of that monitor of yours ? ••THA NIGGA ON THE RIGHT --> BRING ME SUM KFC BITCH 09:21, 22 May 2013 (EDT)
A. I'M UNDERWEIGHT B. I STILL AWAIT ON A COMPELLING RESPONSE, YOU ARE JUST PROLONGING YOUR STATUS AS MENTALLY HANDICAPPED

Irina Transparent.png 09:27, 22 May 2013 (EDT)


The beginning of the expose

oh lawd, ay...

Gaffled like a bitch...

YOINK!


NKO's final moments

NKO being disciplined by his Fundamentalist Christian father.

After the discovery of NKO's home ip address led to the unearthing of his father's LinkedIn, someone emailed NKO's father with information on his son's online activities that would startle any caring, Christian parent. Said email can be viewed below:

NKO undoubtedly received a spanking afterwards, and has been theorized as been grounded ever since.

Also, his father's phone number was discovered and called several times, just for good measure.

Nobody has heard from NKO since the dispatch of this email. He later returned and abused his sysop-powers to flush this article before then attempting to cover his tracks by hiding the edit summary.

(show/hide) 05:06, 9 July 2013 NKO (Talk | contribs | rape) flushed "NKO" ‎ (USI) (view/restore)
(show/hide) 05:14, 9 July 2013 NKO (Talk | contribs | rape) changed event visibility of "(Plumbing log)": hid content, edit summary, username for 1 event ‎ (you saw nothing) (change visibility)

ED staff's take on NKO

   
 
stop fucking harassing people and stop fucking emailing me every day...
 

 
 

zaiger

See also

External links

NKO
is part of a series on
ED Government

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Executive Command Joseph EversButtersThe ScampJimbo Whales
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NKO is part of a series on Dying Alone

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