Nadine Schweigert

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My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Nadine Schweigert is an attention whore from North Dakota who married the only person who would have her...herself. In public. Srsly. Unsurprisingly, it turns out she was adopted.

A Big Day For A Big Ego

Not content with diddling herself on the couch and washing the Cheetos stains from her crotch, Schweigert held a great big public ceremony in which she promised not to cheat on herself with her other hand:


   
 
In a purely symbolic ceremony, the 36-year-old “married” herself before a crowd of 45 friends and family members Saturday at Ecce Gallery in Fargo.

During the observance, the Fargo woman read her vows: “I, Nadine, promise to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self.” She presented herself with a ring and invited all guests to “blow kisses to the whole world” at the point of the traditional, bride-groom lip-lock.
 


 
 

What Does Her Future Hold?

  • Cats
  • Obesity (she's already well on the way)
  • Cobwebs in her snatch
  • Crying herself to sleep
  • Pawning her ring for Twinkies


Nadine Schweigert is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithAmanda ToddBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

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