Necronomicon

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The actual Necronomicon! Seriously! Can be purchased from the Catalyst Studios online store: http://www.moritorium.com.

A fictional book that was entirely the invention of writer H.P. Lovecraft for use in his horror stories and for pwning wannabe necromancers. Several hoax versions of the Necronomicon exist, most notably a grimoire purportedly written by The Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred (despite the fact that in Arabic, you don't put the morpheme "-ul" before "al-" because it's fucking redundant, and therefore anomalous). Lovecraft claimed that reading just one paragraph of the Necronomicon would turn a sane man into a gibbering lunatic. It is believed that most LiveJournal users have read the whole thing.

Many deluded pagans, practitioners of magick and 16 year old girls believe the Necronomicon is real. Others will admit that the fakes are fakes but insist that the magic works anyway.

An ad for the book


 
 
People seriously believe this shit
 

 


On Worshiping Unholy Books of the Dead

Unknown-cathulhu soul.jpg
  • Is the Necronomicon real and can magic be based on it?
    • "That all depends on what you mean by 'the Necronomicon' and by 'real'. --The Arcane Archive
  • Occult Forums -- The Thread That Won't Die Ooops, Thread Died.
    • "Listen boy, this isn't the topic, nor is ANY Necronomicon topic the right place to argue if it is a hoax or not, start up a new one saying how much you hate the nec., knowing that you have never tried it, and then, then that would be fine, but stop (not just you, mind you) filling up the nec. threads with your boring 'it's a hoax' 'It's fake' 'Lovecraft Sux!!' (No man, Lovecraft rox, let's get that straight) ok? Anyways, back to topic, I actually found this copper dinner plate at a garage sale and was gonna use it for the dagger, it was like a buck. The Nec. makes you hunt around a bit and be quite creative." --LucienAscendus
  • Talkabout Network -- Necronomicon love spell - does it exist? Ooops, Thread Died because Cthulhu does not and cannot feel 'Love'.
    • "you are are so stupid...now look,it is a spell i garantie it but it`s no love spell its just a 'fuck' spell,actualy do u ,maybe one of u all hawe simonds necronomicon?and did u invite a dark power? well i did.love cant be forced, so sorry if u had hope,but this spell makes an ilusion,so if u use it you will fuck the person but thats is,nothing more.if someone has any question write. --blackmagick
  • Necromonicon Files Guestbook Ooops, Thread Died because somebody spoke the Name that Should Never Be Spoken.
    • "Hi. Yeah I would just like to point out (and I'm sure you get this a LOT!) but you people are ignorant and synicl. I personaly don't care what you think about the NECRONOMICON but to post (and I understand this is your site)that it is all a hoax is outragous you could not posibly know unless you did the reserch for your self but is obvious you did not, and you choos to believe everything people tell you to when it's easy to believe. SIMON's work is real and authentic he may not care that you say these things but I and many other people do. we believe in it, not becaus we were all told to but some of us actualy practice Necromancy and it is not an evil magick but an art of the dead and a part of our live so I ask you on behalf of all necromancer's (exept the infernal one's) pleas do not judge thing's you have no clue about if you want true answers research it. Thank you." --Orphen

See Also

<video type="youtube" id="wN2z4fdBmVM&autoplay=1&loop=1" height="25" width="200" frame="false" />
Necronomicon
is part of a series on
Twifrog.jpg
[Fuck reading. Just use Sparknotes.See Also]