From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Jewgrounds Users and Their Levels & Auras [-+]

The Ridiculous Obsession with Levels


On the Jewgrounds forums, each user's post is accompanied by a small .gif, drawn rather sloppily in flash by JG employee JohnnyUtah. Each image is either a fist or hand-held weapon, because there's nothing Jewgrounders enjoy more than whipping out their weapons/bodyparts and showcasing them to other prepubescent boys.

Above, the JGer (black person) is seen in its natural environment, having just leveled up to the next vector-drawn image of a weapon, as well as having just received his prize pack of stickers from headquarters. His elation is overstated, if a bit Neanderthalic, as is his refusal to shave, which, while aiding his own ability to conform to the Nigger stereotype, seemingly pushes him back about four levels in the more immediate, and perhaps, important game known as irl.

Voting on Jewgrounds submissions will earn members experience points (See MMORPG). After voting on a few thousand movies, you can level up, which gives you a 1337er avatar on the forums and gives you a +1 to hit vs other basement-dwellers.

Oddly, it has been oft-noted that Jewgrounds users fantasize about being sodomized by their level icons, which provides further and irrefutable proof that these young pedophiles-in-training are irretrievably lost sheep in the pasture of reality.

How you vote also affects used to effect your alignment, which determines which unique special abilities you gain access to. Dark users are noted for their abilities of Evil Armour of Morbid Obesity and Greater Body Odour Aura. But then they completely threw this out the window when users started voting on movies to make their avatar a different color. Now, you can just make your aura dark without ever voting at all! Instant coolness!!1!!!11

Name/color of Aura Evil Dark Neutral Light Fab
[+] [+] [+] [+] [+]
  • The Dark Aura is known to be a commonality between users who are angst-ridden, and/or fundamentally and spiritually the emo stereotype. Brooding. Sullen. Misinformed. This is the sort of faggot who strips naked and lies down on the kitchen counter when his parents are out for a fancy evening getaway at McDonald's, setting up a video-camera before alternately stroking his cock, and bringing the cold steel blade of a serrated bread-knife to his snow-white wrist. Up and down. Up and down.
  • The Light Aura is known to be a commonality between overly-cheerful users, who think that simply saying the words "Cock Joke" actually constitutes a phallic-humorous observation. Likely to have substandard grammar. The sort of lameshit who instructs others to be cheerful, administers moral pedagogy on a regular basis, and attempts to act in the "best interests of humanity," thereby allowing themselves to jack off in front of a proverbial mirror and not get called-out for FaggotTree.
  • The Evil Aura is known to be a commonality between users who consider themselves Goth, like Jeff Weise. They are likely to be similar in disposition to Dark Aura fags, but in many ways are an amplified parody of metal-loving satanists, who would sooner admit to fucking a corpse than having gone to Church at one point in their lives. Most likely to carry out a massive baletion of life with a Tec-9.
  • The Neutral Aura is known to be a commonality between users who are overtly bisexual. In their indecisiveness about which gender they would rather stick up the pooper, they come to the realization that one hole is as good as any other. Due to the lack of females on Newgrounds, however, these average denizens are forced into exclusive circle-jerking with males.
Newgrounds has an overwhelming male majority, yet a sexy, glistening naked man is one of the most highly-sought levels to reach.
Fisting becomes an increasingly popular pursuit on Newgrounds, as more and more users discover the joys of direct prostate stimulation.
  • The Fab Aura is unambiguously homosexual. Therefore, it is no wonder that after ten minutes of browsing through the Newgorunds Forums, one comes to the conclusion that it is far and away the most popular Aura.
Fab aura'd users have fabulous dreams


Newgrounds/BBS/Aura is part of a series on


Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.