Friedrich Nietzsche was a Syphilis-infected crippled, crazy bastard of a philosopher who spent his entire life trying to prove to the masses that God is dead and was killed by Science, that women are useless, that the Christians have ruined everything to make us accept "slave morality" and that after God's death the old order will be replaced by a hyper-intelligent Master Race of Psychopaths known as The Übermensch. He wrote countless undecipherable books and convinced most people he was insane before actually obliging them. He spent the last ten years of his life in a mental asylum rambling incoherently before God decided to send him down to hell. Because of his radical and edgy dialectic he, despite being rejected by more legit analytic philosophers such as Bertrand Russell, attracted millions of angsty nihilists, pretentious postmodernists, the mentally ill, pseudo-anarchists and offensive hack political scientists all over the world, the most famous of which included Adolf Hitler and Ayn Rand.
- 1 Mein Leben
- 2 Philosophizing
- 3 On The Internets
- 4 The Pantheon
- 5 Conclusion
- 6 See also
- 7 External Links
Nietzsche grew up in some desolate, nameless, shithole village in an even bigger shithole known as Prussia. He was a big lover of the Jesus as a child, but gave up that half-twisted lifestyle after his dad croaked. He later went to school to study the Greeks, but found that doing philosophy was an even bigger waste of time (the first evidence of his amazing thinking powers). Nevertheless, being the anti-establishment angst riddled teen he was, decided to go for it. He spent the rest of his life being pissed, not getting laid (except for his sister then that hooker that gave him syphilis), writing books, being moar pissed, and spending his twilight years pissing himself uncontrollably. According to some, right before he collapsed and became an invalid, he was in a market square talking to a horse. The horse was being beaten and he tried to protect it, then started sobbing uncontrollably. Noone knows what was said between Fred and the horse, but knowing his heritage one can make an educated guess.
Nietzsche spent his entire life writing many tl;dr books in which he rants/complains/bitches/moans about how everybody else has it all wrong. This is obviously not the proper place to try to give a thorough analysis of his writings, but we can go over some of the more lulzy parts.
Nietzsche was not a big fan of God. Particularly, the God of the Christian variety (no word on what his take was on Raptor Jesus). He felt that belief in God would allow all the weak scum in the world to usurp power from those that have rightfully claimed it. He described two types of morality: master and slave. The master morality consists of all those who possess the muscle to raep, pillage, and otherwise pwn the weak. By contrast, the slave morality are those receiving said rape. According to Nietzsche, this is human nature and therefore all good. What fucks everything up is Jesus coming along and saying things like "the meek shall inherit the Earth." This is nothing more than BAWWW designed by pussies who are butthurt over getting pwned and raped for all their worth. Later on, this ideal is adapted by the Church to trick the strong into acting weak and therefore becoming pussies themselves.
Thus Spoke Zarathustra or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Superman
Considered by many to be his most influential work, this is basically a padded out guide on how to do it for the lulz. It consists of Zarathustra trolling everything in existence, talking about how much God is a fag, and Zarathustra being better than Jesus. Although long and full of rhetorical nonsense that nobody sober or sane would understand, it does contain alot of lulzy material, like how all woman are stupid bitches, how Jewish people are dong-eating trilobites and that anything not done for the lulz is retarded and pointless. In other words, it was the original ED. SPOILER ALERT: It ends with a bunch of oldfags jerking each other off in a cave and then being scared off by a lion. Didn't that explain everything?
The Übermensch/superman/overman is Nietzsche's term for what we as humans should strive to become. This is a metaphysical concept that basically goes like this: Since we crawled out of the sludge, man has made strives forward. We went from being unthinking beasts consumed with cravings of rape and murder, to thinking men consumed with...rape and murder. It's this progression which Nietzsche is getting at. So where we are right now as humans is not an end result of where we came from, but rather a middle point on the way to something better. And what is that something better? Well it's having an acute awareness of this process, and embracing it whole-heartily as we go about our raping and murdering. It's not holding ourselves back by being moralfags or helping anyone else out. It's basically all the things which the oldfags of /b/ encompass. So for example, everyone who tried to protect boxxy, or felt some deep sort of moral righteousness by protesting Scientology, were doing it wrong.
Nothing is beautiful, except man alone: all aesthetics rests upon this naïveté, which is its first truth. Let us immediately add the second: nothing is ugly except the degenerating man — and with this the realm of aesthetic judgment is circumscribed. Physiologically, everything ugly weakens and saddens man. It reminds him of decay, danger, impotence; it actually deprives him of strength. One can measure the effect of the ugly with a dynamometer. Wherever man is depressed at all, he senses the proximity of something "ugly." His feeling of power, his will to power, his courage, his pride — all fall with the ugly and rise with the beautiful. In both cases we draw an inference: the premises for it are piled up in the greatest abundance in instinct. The ugly is understood as a sign and symptom of degeneration: whatever reminds us in the least of degeneration causes in us the judgment of "ugly." Every suggestion of exhaustion, of heaviness, of age, of weariness; every kind of lack of freedom, such as cramps, such as paralysis; and above all, the smell, the color, the form of dissolution, of decomposition — even in the ultimate attenuation into a symbol — all evoke the same reaction, the value judgment, "ugly." A hatred is aroused — but whom does man hate then? There is no doubt: the decline of his type. Here he hates out of the deepest instinct of the species; in this hatred there is a shudder, caution, depth, farsightedness — it is the deepest hatred there is. It is because of this that art is deep.
—"Skirmishes of an Untimely Man": §20. Twilight of the Idols.
Some think that if Nietzsche were alive today he'd actually be the gothest, most emo-est motherfucker on the e-block. But Fred would disagree. To Quote from Thus Spoke Zarathustra - The Preachers of death:
—pwning Gothfags and Emo fucktards
Divide by zero
(He is stating this interpretation of facts as a fact, when it's actually his interpretation of the facts (which are just interpretations) etc).
Stop being such a god fearing pussy, kick everyone's ass and steal their stuff, then go home and rape your baby factory whore of a wife who you keep tied up in the kitchen.
On The Internets
Nietzsche is very big with the goths, emos, and basement dwellers the world over. Regardless which one of the social networks you pick, there's bound to be some acne covered virgin with "When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back unto you" as their favorite quote. Somehow it seems to always be easier to just steal other people's thoughts rather than having an original idea of your own. Unfortunately, it seems that none of these thieving little fucks have ever bothered to actually read one of Nietzsche's books since that would require diverting their attention away from their Twitter. This becomes apparent when said goth, emo, etc. can't even begin to explain what they are actually quoting or how they're doing it wrong. But let's be absolutely honest with ourselves here; who has time to read old media when you have to post about how your boyfriend totally doesn't understand you and why it is important that he fork over the money for your botox procedure. "But like OMG this Nietzsche guy totally knows where I'm coming from. It's like we're totally kindred spirits."
Here are some of the more fucktarded videos on Nietzsche hiding out in the tubes:
- Click the following for some horrible music video/quote montage.
Fan art and screencaps
Gods Nietzsche Worshipped/Blasphemed
- Socrates - A far greater philosopher than Nietzsche ever was, hence Nietzsche's massive butthurt and envy. And he didn't even write any shitty books.
- Spinoza - Devil atheist Jew who pwned both Christfags and money-grubbing Jews by disproving their personal god.
- Schopenhauer - Nietzsche's teen idol before Nietzsche realized what a pathetic emo twat he was.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Richard Wagner
- Jesus - Killed by his own church.
- Zoroaster - Jesus v2.0
- Martin Luther - Invented modern Christfaggotry.
- Voltaire - Some 18th century faggot nobody cares about anymore.
- Goethe - UBERMENSCH!
- Dostoevsky - Rivaled Nietzsche in pointless existential angst.
- Lou Andreas-Salomé - The one woman Nietzsche put on the pussy pedestal, thus he was condemned to die a virgin.
Nietzsche's Fedora-Tipping Worshippers
- Sigmund Freud - Your mom.
- Carl Gustave Jung - Your mom times ten.
- Oswald Spengler - Egghead who wrote massive amounts of TL;DR.
- Michel Foucault - Had AIDS and loved prison bitches.
- Jim Morrison - I'M THE LIZARD KING! I CAN DO ANYTHING!
- Julius Evola - Mystic, occultist, and historian who sucked Mussolini's cock.
- Martin Heidegger - Sucked Hitler's cock.
- Jean-Paul Sartre - More angst!
- Simone de Beauvoir - Revealed the creeping feminazi beneath the stache.
- Deepak Chopra - Got his bullshit straight from Nietzsche.
- Marilyn Manson
- Aleister Crowley
- Ayn Rand
- Anton LaVey
- H. L. Mencken
- Jaques Derrida - Another pretentious fuck.
atheistretard on the Internet EVAR.
From Nietzsche to Crowley to Ayn Rand to LeVey
- Nietzsche was a cranky, curmudgeonly crazy man who thought people sucked and there was no reason to not be an asshole.
- Aleister Crowley read Nietzsche and didn't get it, so he created a fucked up version of Nietzsche's already fucked up ideology and called it Thelema.
- L. Ron Hubbard read Nietzsche after ripping off ideas from Aleister Crowley about starting a religion and gave the world the philosophy of Scientology and Tom Cruise's ego.
- Ayn Rand read Nietzsche and Crowley and didn't get it, so she created a fucked up version of Nietzsche's and Crowley's already fucked up ideologies and called it Objectivism.
- Anton LaVey read Nietzsche, Crowley, and Rand and didn't get any of it, so he created a fucked up version of those already fucked up ideologies and called it The Church of Satan.
—Bertrand Russel explaining why Nietzsche is the world's biggest loser.
So the next time you wonder why Marilyn Manson acts like a confused, pretentious douche... blame Fred Nietzsche and his syphilitic wang. Also, Adolf Hitler didn't get it either. Why, you ask?
- Even Nietzsche has a Myspace
- A Facebook is fine too
- Lunatics attempt to defend the indefensible.
- Nietzsche Message Board
- Get quotes for your Myspace page fgt
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|Featured article October 6, 2005|
I did it for the lulz