Nintendo Switch

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Behold! Nintendo's unofficial mascot for the Switch!

The Nintendo Switch is Nintendo's latest scheme to be relevant in gaming, especially in a post-Iwata era. It is an abominable fusion between the 3DS and the Wii U.

Last Thursday, Nintendo shat out an unveiling video that didn't really show anything about the console per se, but rather a desperate attempt to grab the attention of hipster faggots, feminist dykes, neutered parents and Nintendrones. Anyone is guaranteed to look like an insufferable dumbass holding one in their hands.


  • 6.2-inch LCD touchscreen (1280 x 720)
  • Maximum resolution of 1080p 60fps when plugged into a TV
  • Nvidia "customised" Tegra processor
  • 32GB storage. So enjoy buying a microSD card for more storage.
  • 802.11ac Wi-Fi
  • Ethernet internet through optional adapter
  • Bluetooth 4.1 (on tablet)
  • Bluetooth 3.0 (in Joy-Cons)
  • NFC (in right Joy-Con for Amiibo support)
  • Stereo speakers (on tablet)
  • PCM 5.1 channel audio in TV mode
  • HDMI output (on dock)
  • USB Type-C port (on tablet)
  • 3x USB 2.0 ports (on dock): USB 3.0 support to be added at future date
  • Headphone/mic port (on tablet)
  • MicroSD card slot (on tablet; plus microSDHC/microSDXC support)
  • Game cartridge slot (on tablet)
  • 4,310mAh battery (on tablet; up to six hours of play on one charge)
  • 525mAh batteries (in Joy-Cons; up to twenty hours play time)
  • No mic or ability to chat online. So you Archive today-ico.png have to use an app on your phone to talk to other people.

Seal of quality

Now to put the cherry on this sundae is that this console suffered from a disastrous launch that would make the PS4 and Xbox One blush. Oh, but don't worry. Nintendo will patch everything later and will make everything good again. After all, it's okay if Nintendo does it. However, this doesn't change the fact that the Switch is underpowered, as usual.


The price for the Switch costs around 300 USD as of March 2017. If factored in the hidden costs of buying accessories and the like, you will most likely shell out at least twice the Switch's initial price to get the full experience out of this console.

Unfortunately, this shoddy "modernization" of Nintendo's image doesn't seem to budge their rabid fanbase one bit. They will spend their hardly earned income for this piece of underpowered crap without a single thought. This means that Nintendo will continue to make dubious decisions throughout the Switch's life cycle.


Here's a small list of what games you can buy for the Nintendo Switch:

Also, as an added incentive for paying for online monthly, you get to keep one NES or SNES game (of Nintendo's choosing) per month. Once that month has passed, however, the game is gone and you have to buy it again at full price.


WTF Nintendo
Look at all the dislikes and butthurt comments!
The "Awkward Translator Guy" in action


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Nintendards created an unofficial mascot for the console (as previously stated), a short anthropomorphic puppy. Sick fucks from tumblr and 4chan immediately made hundreds of pictures of porn on this shit, draining the low quality semen of thousands of pathetic mentally ill nerds and shocked dozens of NSA agents spying on them.

Switch Dog Rule 34 About missing Pics
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See also

Nintendo Switch is part of a series on
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[Or Get OutGet N]
See {{Pokedex}} and {{Sonic}} for moar faggotry.

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Nintendo Entertainment SystemSuper NintendoGame Boy AdvanceVirtual BoyNintendo 64GamecubeNintendo DSWiiWii UNintendo Switch

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Games & Characters
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Advance WarsAnimal CrossingBanjo KazooieBilly Hatcher and the Giant EggBombermanBuck BumbleCastlevaniaChrono TriggerConker's Bad Fur DayContraDigimonDonkey KongDuck HuntDuckTalesEarthBoundFinal FantasyFire EmblemKirbyKingdom HeartsLegend of ZeldaMarioMario PaintMegamanMetroidMike Tyson's Punch OutPhoenix WrightPikminPokémonProfessor LaytonQuest 64Shaq-FuSonic the HedgehogSplatoonStar FoxStreet Fighter 2Super Smash BrosSuperman 64TetrisWarioWii Fit

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3DSPlazaAmiiboCan't let you do that, StarFox!Digibutter.nerrFalcon PunchFantendoIs This BattletoadsIt's a Kirby, RetardHaunted Majora's Mask CartridgeHong Kong 97Hotel MarioKing Dedede Drooling While EatingKirbyraegKrystal Can't Enjoy Her SandwichLINK MAH BOIIIIILuigi's Death StareMiiverseMushroom Kingdom FusionNintendoLifeReggie Fils-AimeSmogon UniversitySolid Snake's AssTriforceWhat is a man?Yoshi Art ForumsZeldaOnline

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Nintendo Switch is part of a series on


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