Nu metal

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Nu metal gig
The drummer for shitcock i mean slipknot
Nu metal fan at the age of 9

Nu metal (better described as mallcore) is some form of grungy wigger metal shit. It mixes grunge, rap and metal together with down tuned guitars. You can identify nu metal bands with these wiggers or hip hop fags trying to play metal or grunge, or metal faggots trying to play rap (It's confusing, but you and I would take this over a certain canadian fuckhead anyday).

Fashion

  • Long hair (usually dreadlocks)
  • Spiky hair
  • Blond/blue/green (usually blond) hair dye on hair that is usually real short and spiky
  • Baseball caps
  • Dreadlocks
  • Extremely baggy pants that don't even fit and are big as fuck
  • ADIDAS pants with a baggy size
  • Big t-shirts with a band name spelled incorrectly
  • Basketball jerseys
  • Baggy clothes
  • Sweat jackets
  • Goatees
  • Spiky hair
  • JNCO pants

Nu metal band characteristics

  • Vocalist- Some guy who just raps, ragequits, growls or sings. Sometimes he growls and tosses a fuckin bitch fit and does growls, may or may not try hard to act angry. Usually he has either long hair or spiky hair cut short. He also wears adidas pants and uses lyrics either full of swearing to show how rebellious and badass he is or writes lyrics about how he had mean people in his childhood.
  • Guitarist- (one or two) just does bouncy hip hop rhythmed riffs and down tunes so low on his guitar with 3289427498237637564384563478564358734563487563487563454656583658346583468 strings on it. He has usually long hair often in dreads and just plays weird ass riffs full of tri-tones and sounds like he's hitting random notes while grinding on the strings.
  • Bassist - Some guy who plays hip hop wigger bass lines or weird shit and usually he has a goatee beard and a baseball cap, otherwise he'll be some guy in spiky hair or cornrows
  • Drummer- some guy usually with spiky hair and a sleeveless shirt and tattoos or a crew cut. Sometimes plays shirtless to attract homosexuals.
  • DJ(optional) - some wigger who does scratches to attract black people and hip hop fans.

Bands typically take pictures in weird rooms usually dark like they're in some prison at night otherwise they are just some light room in somebody's house. They just stand their and just act like they couldn't see the fucking camera is there like blind cripples, otherwise they have a picture of themselves acting happy and like wiggers or hip-hop gangstaz with KoRnrows or beards.

Typical nu metal song

Jonathan Davis comes out of the klozet

How to Troll Nu Metal Fans

  • Deny their bands as heavy metal
  • Call them a wigger
  • Call Korn and Slipknot emo metal
  • Say that you hate Otep Shamaya because she's a dyke
  • Say that Otep deserved to get raped by her dad
  • Say that it was funny when Jonathan Davis got molested when he was 7
  • Say that System of a Down are terrorists
  • Say that Wayne Static's hair makes him look like Phil Anselmo's retarded brother
  • Make fun of dead nu metal musicians like Wayne Static, Dave Williams of Drowning Pool, and the singer from Snot
  • Say that Fieldy from Korn is a fat beaner
  • Call their music "hip hop"
  • Call their music "wigger shit" for emos
  • Say that Jonathan Davis is in the closet
  • Call their bands hip-hop
  • Call Head from Korn a satanist
  • Say that Dave Williams of Drowning Pool was a fatass
  • Talk shit about Ivan Moody
  • Call Slipknot, System of a Down and Mushroomhead crappy Mr. Bungle clones
  • Compare their bands to Lil' Wayne
  • Say that Motograter look like a bunch of juggalos
  • Say that Slipknot is gay
  • Say that Hybrid Theory is a pop album and that Linkin Park's new albums are Br00tal metal
  • Say that KoRn's Path of Totality was their masterpiece
  • Ask them why their bands all have evil or angry/violent lyrics
  • Get the Westboro Baptist Church to protest their favorite bands
  • Protest against nu metal bands and call them satanic
  • Refer to Jonathan Davis as "HIV"
  • Go to a Sevendust concert and yell "nigger" at the singer Lajon
  • Ask them why Korn and Limp Bizkit can't spell

Bands tagged as nu metal

Popular Nu metal bands

  • Korn - The pioneers of this shitty genre. All members like to put corn up their asses.
  • Evanescence - Oops, sorry, they ain't nu metal, just a bunch of mallgoth freaks with some cunt who can't sing and has butthurtness fans.
  • Slipknot - The band with 9 members and masks
  • Disturbed - the band with a Jewish vocalist who has mother issues
  • Linkin Park - Some sextet with a singer who just sings about how he's now able to control himself, eventually tries to write lyrics about loving the world, but initially writes lyrics to help teens who have certain issues in life or need to know how to deal with their teachers. Their singer also was a nerd in school. The lyrics and vocals and shit change once they sold out into some shitty pop rock band. Their fans consist of wiggers, jocks, preppies who like them cuz they're mainstream and also emo kids might like them.
  • Limp Bizkit - The Poison of nu metal. They have a guitarist with ridiculously huge ass pupils and a wigger vocalist with a gay red baseball cap. They're also more wigger than Linkin Park.
  • Papa Roach - Cut my cunt into pieces! THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!
  • Deftones - The ones with a beaner vocalist, they eventually sold out to hipsters. They apparently got extremely butthurt over the nu-metal label that they sold out when they released their album "White Pony" dedicated to the members' pride of being bronies. All the fans can't accept they were nu metal in the 1990s.
  • System of a Down - A group of 4 Armenian-Americans notable for having the Billboard #1 album on September 11, 2001 with an album full of supposedly terrorist lyrics. Wait? THESE GUYS AREN'T NU METAL!!! ...or are they?
  • Staind - Some band who jack off to alternative rock all day and Nirvana. Then they sold out into the Nickelback of nu metal.
  • Incubus - Fronted by the faggier nu-male version of Anthony Kiedis/Mike Patton. They also randomly have a black in the band and some retard with shaggy long hair who's probably Jewish. They eventually sold out into a ghey alternative pop band aimed at screaming teenage girls.
  • Static-X - A mallcore band that combines with industrial with a lead singer, Wayne Static, who overdosed himself years later.

Second rate Nu metal bands

  • OTEP - Some 4 piece band with a Nazi bonehead in the band for bass, a dyke vocalist named Otep Shamaya and they think they're hardcore and we all know what they sound like.
  • Crazy Town - One-hit wonder band with two wiggers on vocals and 38 other members who contribute nothing. One of them was on Celebrity Rehab and they're only still together so he can afford to buy more crack.
  • Godsmack - Lead singer gets butthurt when anyone compares him to Scott Stapp.
  • Mudvayne - The thinking man's mallcore band. Their vocalist tries too hard to be like Maynard James Keenan.
  • Sevendust - Fronted by a nigger whose name you can't pronounce. Offer him some fried chicken and watermelon.
  • Sick Puppies - The band has puppies for you... d'aaaaawwwwww.
  • 10 Years - Once Deftones, once Papa Roach, once Tool... has no identity.
  • Kittie - Speaking of Kittens...
  • Drowning Pool - LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!!!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRR!!!!!!
  • Seether - Formed in South Africa by wiggers and for emofags.
  • Skindred - A nu metal band formed by a bunch of britfags. No comment here.
  • P.O.D. - A Christifag rap/nu metal group.
  • Shuvel - They has a shuvel.
  • Alien Ant Farm - Some alt fags with a fugly singer who inexplicably got popular by making a nu metal Michael Jackson cover in 2001, before becoming washed up nobodies a few years later. You might wanna help their singer cross the border.
  • Sugar Ray - Pretty much the same story as Incubus, except they made even crappier music for soccer moms once they sold out.
  • Powerman 5000 - Fronted by Rob Zombie's brother, only had one-hit, "When Worlds Collide." No joke, most of their songs are actually pretty decent.
  • Flyleaf - Mopey nu metal band fronted by an Amy Lee wannabe.
  • Three Days Grace - One of their biggest hits is literally, "I Hate Everything About You." Moving on...
  • Coal Chamber - Just some nu metal band with 3 goth guys and a goth whore and their singer is some guy with long dreadlocks and shitloads of piercings and looks like a pedo-clown. One of the members looks like a monkey and has big ass ears. Their video for Loco is just them playing in some mansion at night with some pedophile driving an ice cream truck there and going in to molest random people.
  • Nothingface - That one nu metal band who it's okay to like. Featuring Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde on vocals. Also, the lead singer is dead, still nobody gives a shit.
  • Saliva - CLICK CLICK BOOM!!!111!!
  • Trapt - As in the closet... cause that's where your headband is? To be fair, they ripped off Papa Roach and being too much of Faith No More and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
  • Cane Hill - Named after a failed black candidate for the 2012 Elections and is also a discount Marilyn Manson and Tool; fronted by an SJW.
  • Lostprophets - Weeaboo britfags with a pedophile vocalist who sold out and suddenly went from being wiggers to being emos.
  • Soulfly - After making the nu-metal tinged Sepultura album "Roots", Max Cavalera goes full mallcore and sells out completely.
  • Damageplan - The failed mallcore band started by ex-Pantera members. Ended when a butthurt Pantera fan shot the guitarist.
  • Machine Head - Pantera clone who sold out and went mallcore before switching back to being a Pantera clone. The singer copied Korn's Jonathan Davis by bitching about getting inappropriately touched by some mean relative in every song.
  • Mushroomhead - They got butthurt when Slipknot would look like them.
  • Puddle of Mudd - Butt rock/nu metal fusion with a nasally Kurt Cobain clone on vocals. Also this guy has been arrested countless times.
  • Fire from the Gods - Some cuckfag nu metal band fronted by some nigger who yells at Donald Trump for no reason cause "lol edge."
  • ill Nino - Some beaners trying to play nu-metal, nothing to see here.
  • Taproot - What the fuck?

Third rate Nu metal bands

  • Emmure - They are BR00T4L DEATHCORE with mallcore influences
  • 4Lyn - A rapcore Deftones wannabe from Germany
  • Primer 55 - WATCH THESE FUCKERS JUMP WHEN I GET LOOSE. That was their one obligatory heavy "hit" song. They also seem to have a nigger in the band like Sevendust and Incubus.
  • Glassjaw - Emo Deftones clone.
  • Spineshank - Industrial-tinged mallcore.
  • Chimaira - They started out as a s00per heavy mallcore band before turning into a shitty Pantera clone and metalcore band with Trve metal cred.
  • Hobostank - This band gives away all you need to know about their songs.
  • Flaw - Tool/grunge wannabes with a whiny bitch ass singer.
  • Snot - Crappy wannabe punk band that nobody really cared about until the "singer" died.
  • Dry Cell - They ragequited when people told them they sounded exactly like Linkin Park.
  • Earshot - Another Walmart dollar-brand version of either Staind, Papa Roach, and Tool.
  • 40 Below Summer - Dude, what the fuck are ya saying??? THEH NAH NAH NAHSKA BRR RAKA MANA MANA!
  • Nonpoint - Their songs managed to appear in two shitty SmackDown vs. Raw games.
  • Dope - DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!!!!!1111 That's all people like by these guys. They also think they're explicit.
  • Karnivool - lol, he spelled 'carnival' wrong!111`
  • American Head Charge - An anti-American nu metal band from 2001 whose gimmick wore off as soon as 9/11 happened.
  • 36 Crazyfists - They mix nu metal with metalcore. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds.
  • Demon Hunter - Christfags who are the same as 36 Crazyfists until they change into some Pantera wannabe band.
  • Vanilla Ice - The original wigger himself decided to copy Limp Bizkit on a few albums
  • Orgy - Their name is Orgy since that's what the members do to each other on a weekly basis. Also one of the members has no eyebrows.
  • Cold - A local dive bar version of Staind, complete with a depressed bald singer doing whiny acoustic songs.
  • Fear Factory - When the band turned from industrial blackened death metal to full-blown mallcore nu metal, people bitched that they sold out. I guess it's a given...
  • Issues - Their name is based off of First World Problems.
  • Depswa - A fuck all cringy emo mallcore band with a horribly sold debut album no one gave a shit about. Not even their dogs.
  • (Hed) PE - Some lame ass wiggers/beaners with a really retarded name and annoying singer. After nu metal's popularity ended they reinvented themselves as juggalos.
  • Adema - The worst elements of Korn and Linkin Park combined into one steaming pile of shit for teenage girls. And their singer is related to Korn's Jonathan Davis, that was the only claim to fame they ever had.
  • Reveille - How Rage Against the Machine sounds when you add mallcore guitars and put no communist lyrics.
  • Pleymo - Sissy ass French wiggers who think they're cool for playing shitty nu metal.
  • Dry Kill Logic - Literally the exact same story as Chimaira.
  • Exilia - An Italian mafia gang mallcore wigger band that no one has ever heard of cause they're actually a bunch of drugged out cockroaches with the same shitty ass guitar riffs and whiny lyrics.

Fiftieth rate Nu metal bands

  • Motograter - A bunch of retarded juggalos/Mushroomhead wannabes who thankfully faded into obscurity. Their singer is an internet tough guy and they all try to look like monsters.
  • Relative Ash - On their album cover they look like some prog band, but they're actually just another really obscure Deftones clone.
  • Slaves on Dope - The shittier and more wigger/TUFF GUY version of Korn
  • Darwin's Waiting Room - Linkin Park clone from Miami.
  • Factory 81 - The band that makes Deftones look tough.
  • From Zero - Another generic d-list nu metal band, with one of the worst senses in fashion you'll ever see.
  • Downthesun - Five fat guys playing fat nu metal music.
  • Endo - Worst band. Ever

Nu metal lyrics

Nu metal is known for having very deep and insightful lyrics. Here's a few examples -


Motograter's "Suffocate":

Fuck yourself, don't get it talked up

Got no qualms with taking your life

Fuck yourself, don't get it twisted

Dig yourself a formal good-bye

Kill yourself, and that's how you die


Korn's "Right Now":

Right now I can't control myself I fucking hate you

You open your mouth again I swear I'm gonna break it You open your mouth again, My God I cannot take it

Shut up, shut up, shut up I'll Fuck you up

Shut up, shut up, shut up I'll Fuck you up

History

Nu metal was said to be invented by some alternative wankers called Faith No More and their wigger singer Mike Patton, but actually was made by Korn. Then it went popular faster than a fag on redbull getting sodomized by a monkey in Alasska naked. Then more bands came. Now it isn't popular and everyone forgot about it. To revive nu metal, form your band and bring back the late 90s and early 2000s. Also fuck this metal genre.

Tips for starting your own nu metal band

  • Put a random number in your band's name (like Factory 81, Apartment 26, 36 Crazyfists, 40 Below Summer, Powerman 5000, Primer 55 etc.) or use a band name with one or two words and spell either one of or both of the words incorrectly on purpose.
  • Have some gimmick like masks, a nigger or a female to drum up interest in your band
  • Cite Tool, Faith No More, Metallica and Primus as your main influences
  • Make sure at least one member has dreadlocks

See Also

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