Objective-C

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Objective-C is C++'s hot hot sister who actually got laid before the age of 30. Objective-C, unlike C++ (which was a failed super soldier cloning project of C) can be read and understood by retards (aka, Macfags and iPhone lusers) such as yourself.

Objective-C is a Godly spawn of modern computing (along with DNF). In fact like DNF, it was so perfect that it created a quantum singularity which caused it to erase itself from the collective consciousness of the human race. Unfortunately, again like DNF, Objective-C was replaced by a shittier version of itself that masquerades as being a usable programming language that wont raep you day in and day out. (See C++, Halo and Faggotry) Legend tells that after a long day of coding (the fat fucks), the elegance of Objective-C code made the nerdy/desperate programmers of the day to see beautiful naked woman that aren't whores or Russian.

Objective-C vs C++

It really depends on your sexual prowess.

C++ is a desperate slut and will let you do whatever you want with her. Of course, you being as useless as you are in bed means that everybody is left with a lukewarm experience. Coding in C++ has a high chance of you getting a lulzy STD like AIDS.

Objective-C could be best compared to a Russian woman. Strict and sometimes makes you do things you don't want to do, but everybody has had a screaming orgasm by morning. Though if you're a slut yourself, you can grow a second penis and use Objective-C++ and ruin a perfectly good night in bed.

The Legend of Objective-C

Gather 'round your hell spawns for the wisdom the internet will now share with you. (Be very honoured)

--Lulzy Beginnings--

At least 100 years ago in the land before time, Jesus saw how completely useless Darwin's theory of evolution was and decided to take matters into his own hands. Jesus decided to bestow upon the world the programming language of the gods, what we now know as Objective-C, upon ball of fire. The ball of fire was a test, to see who has the mental and physical capabilities to understand and harness such perfection as Objective-C. The Dinosaurs, and 99% of the Furry population died in the blast. Jesus saw that it was good.

--Jealous Sister--

A couple of minutes later, C++ had realized that it was no longer the Apple of the collective Nerdy eye and spazzing did ensue. C++ then locked Objective-C up into Pandora's Box, along with Steve Jobs, the iPod and the iPhone.

--The Church of Apple--

When the [PandorasBox release] message was called by a foolish script kiddy called Pandora, perfection was released once more. Windows' useless security and Lunix's inability to work also meant that Steve Jobs and his mutant brain children could also escape. Steve Jobs got a hold of Objective-C and turned her into a golden iPhone, and started the church of Apple. Jesus then called for the aid of chuck norris. 9000 roundhouse kicks to Steve Jobs later and Objective-C was freed. Unintentionally, Steve Jobs had caused Objective-C to go beyond perfection. A new age had begun.

--Duke Nukem Forever--

The Protestant Sect of the Church of Apple rediscovered the old teachings of Objective-C and started to create a game beyond what any human or deity can imagine. It was called Duke Nukem Forever. The elegance and perfection of Objective-C meant that there were no bugs present. The believers could even divide by 0 and the magnificence of Objective-C returned infinity. Once this holy project was completed the believers were teleported to a parallel dimension (with 20 virgins) where they could see the effect of their creation on the world from a safe distance. The square brackets and the inline C code merged to form the image of gooey testosterone and in a flash of light there was nothing.

Compilers

Clang - For studs.

GCC - For Others.


External Links

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Objective-C is part of a series on Programming.

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