Odumcarlock

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FACT ALERT:

Odum is scalphurt.


The face of a jedi.

OdumCarlock is the prototypical angry older gentleman of OKCupid. If he feels you have crossed the bounds of decency, he may express a desire that you get raped. He is a proponent of the theory, popular among a group of older users in the okcupid forums, that many of the site's members are fake accounts ("sockapuppas") created by a single mastermind or a cabal with unspecified, but clearly nefarious aims. He is a much sought-after engineer with a degree from a highly respected university, although this has not been confirmed as of this writing. He has achieved the coveted level of "Jedi" in an online MMORPG and is divorced. Recently it's been rumored that he may be a mercenary fire fighter where he regularly puts out fires with his scalp.

Contents

OkCupid Forums

OdumCarlock uses his detective skills to identify a fake account.

Scrotum is a frequenter of the General and Unmitigated Drama Rants & Raves forum on OKCupid.

When someone flagrantly disagrees with him, he calls them a troll. Then he's "done with ya." How dare you? You should GDIAF. Be prepared to be attacked by a barrage of generic insults such as "go cry to your mommy", "put up or shut-up" and "done with ya, bitch!" An infant has more colorful insults in their arsenal. If you make mention of his shortcomings in trash-talk, he'll tell you that you're not worth a well thought-out answer. Instead, he'll run off and flag your posts and profile to get you banned.

The Flagonator - Along with lying about receiving sexually explicit emails from other people's girlfriends (but never being able to offer up proof because he's "deleted them"), Odum loves to flag posts in threads where he's lost arguments. He also loves to create sockpuppet accounts of himself, and accuse other people being the sockpuppet.

Summary Deletion - Following a massive nervous breakdown in the Unmitigated Drama forums on OkCupid due to the "Unmitigated Drama is where Odum Carlock "hangs out"" thread, OdumCarlock's presence was deemed an affront to the Internets, and he was promptly deleted. Moments later, Odum returned on a new account claiming that the deletion was "accidental" and that he was going to be reinstated as a moderator. 10 minutes later, he "got mad and deleted his account".

Perhaps he finally went outside?

OdumCarlock explains his account deletion.
OdumCarlock making fun of another user's deletion.
File:Odum hairline emphasis.png
Odum (AKA Legen-Dary) reacts to someone who may or may not be emphasizing his hairline.

Washed Up: Odum's Shit Gets Old

Since Odum's first sweaty explosion of bitter-rage on the forums, he's been the red-headed stepchild of the Unmitigated Drama forum. Of course it's nice to feel like a winner every now and again, but outwitting Odum is like beating up a midget.


   
 
And I'd fully expect you to try and defend yourself however you can... knowing you probably with a weapon... don't care.. it's either put up or shut up little zexy.. that means if you're not responding to meet, shut your dick holster. end of story.
 

 
 

—Odum "Put up or shut-up" Carlock


   
 
Done with ya, bitch!
 

 
 

—Odum makes you cry to your mommy.

Summer 08': Tragedy Strikes

At least 100 years ago, something tragic happened. Odum's xbox was obliterated in a natural disaster, leaving behind a broken man and only the memory of his high scores. Now he can't talk smack to 13-year-old boys while playing Halo. As you can clearly see, Odum's bitterness comes from real loss, so you should dismiss his attacks and allow him to keep what little dignity he has so he doesn't kill himself.


   
 
What kind of God would take a mans TV's and X-Box?? ANSWER ME THAT DAMMIT!!
 

 
 

—HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ODUM, GOD? HE'S ONLY A MAN!


   
 
For the record, My Beloved X-Box was killed last saturday in a freak electrical storm along with 2 TV's, my router and ethernet card...
 

 
 

—The poor wounded soul comes to grips with his loss

This illustration references many of OdumCarlock's interests including skydiving, making demotivational posters, hair loss, fish in bukkits, and "bringing it."

Odum's Hair

When asked about his lack of hair above his gigantic forehead, Odum says that his hairline has always been that way, and that he is not, in fact, just a balding old man. He has no legitimate excuse for the sweatiness.

Odum's BMI

Odum's BMI (Body Mass Index) is so high it had it's own article on old ED.

Odum's Bukkit

Odum's denial.
Odum's anger.
Odum's bargain.
Odum's depression.
Odum's acceptance.

This is a tragic story about a man and his bukkit. Those who are weak of spirit should not read on.

Once upon a time, Odum had a bukkit. It was a blue bucket, and he loved it. He often used it for keeping his fish, so that he could shoot them, since barrels are too hard for him.

Then, one horrible day, possibly the day his wife left him and took all his money, or the day the Xbox died, his bukkit went missing.

Odum did all he could to reunite with his beloved bukkit. He went through all five stages of grief. He even killed a man. Alas, poor Odum is without his bukkit to this very day. They say that on some nights, when the moon is full and the air is clear, you can hear it calling out to him "Oduuum! Oooooodum!"

HAS ANYONE SEEN ODUM'S BUKKIT?! If you do find his bukkit, please message xXzexponyxXodumcarlockXxprincess4uXx on AIM.

Odumsbukkit1.jpg

pwnd

Odumisfat.jpg

OKC user accused of being a sockapuppa responds to the allegations.

Baconator

Because OdumCarlock is a real star wars jedi, with a light saber that goes pew pew pew swash zzzzzzzzzzzzzzrb, he meets life's challenges head-on. Such as the loss of his bukkit, a brutally cataclysmic divorce and the unfair destruction of his game consoles by the forces of nature. Unfortunately he has a hard time accepting a nickname of endearment which portrays his likeness in an eerily accurate way: BACONATOR.

Odum considers "Baconator" to be a conversation killer and is steadfastly maintaining his resolve to not respond to it, so as not to legitimize it. This is advice he got from his 90 year old mother who deeply regrets that she raised a Jedi warrior instead of an engineer.


   
 
Ouch and the convo ends. because, sorry i don't answer to nonsense nicknames made up by obvious crackheads.
 

 
 

—Baconator struggling with self-actualization.

Update: Odum is responding to the name "Baconator".

Hungry baconator.

Bacon withdrawal

Forced to pay his condo association fees, Baconator was unable to procure as many Baconators as he was accustomed to and began experiencing withdrawals. Combined with unresolved issues over his divorce and getting made fun of online, this probably led to his degenerative mental state and nervous breakdown.

Odum's attornie.

Attornies

Attornies have been retained by Odum and are awaiting the results of his detective work. Odum has a keen understanding of detective work and the legal system because of his experience watching Matlock.

In pressing their case, Odum's attornies have been instructed to "bring it with interest."

   
 
Let's burn this bitch!
 

 
 

— Odum's attornie consults Odum during his divorce proceeding.

Odum's last motivational poster in OKC celebrating the deletion of another user's profile shortly before a site administrator deleted his profile.

Motivational Posters

Odum enjoys making motivational posters ribbing fellow forum posters. On February 18, 2009, Odum posted his last motivational poster on OKCupid in celebration of the deletion of another user's OKCupid profile. A few hours later, Odum's own profile was deleted for repeatedly making false statements regarding the correct application of RCA cables for multimedia purposes.

Odum explains why he loves browsers that do not comply to web standards.

OdumCarlock Trivia

Odum successfully retained ownership of his '88 Monte Carlo through his divorce.
  • Odum claims that telling off the kids on OKCupid is as easy as "shooting fish in a bukkit." While most people shoot fish in barrels, in his county, he claims, they shoot them in a bucket.
  • Odum once brutally beat a young man that insulted his wife when the man came up to shake his hand in person. Odum has since divorced his wife and insults her himself.
  • Sorry, Odum calls em like he sees em. Act like a cunt, he'll call you a cunt.
  • Odum is a certified skydiving participant.
  • Odum takes credit for bringing the terms "cockholster" and "twatwaffle" into the English lexicon. This claim is thus far unchallenged and the terms have gained popularity among a subset of other angry middle-aged men on the OKC forums.
  • Odum's passion and fervor for star wars is not confined to video games; he owns a green light saber which he was able to hide from the courts during divorce proceedings and was thus not forced to relinquish its possession. To this day this nefarious act of subversiveness remains one of his finest achievements.
  • Odum once called a female college student "cuntcake."
  • Odum has no children and lives alone.
  • Shortly after his first account was "accidentally" deleted, Odum returned to brag that he was going to become a "flagmod", but was then deleted again.

Videos

Odum's exploits as a Jedi in Star Wars Galaxies have inspired several tribute videos.

Danstar's Odum video

Odum Getting pwned.

Odum Carlock Sucks

Odum is currently not accepting any myspace friend requests from anyone that played Star Wars Galaxies during his reign.

Update

As of February 9, 2010, Odum's hairline continues to recede.


As of June 27, 2010, Odum condones rape and murder of people he doesn't like.

See Also

External Links

OdumCarlock's OKCupid profile

LOL new OKCupid profile

NAMBLA Official Site

Star Wars Official Site

Game with him. Do it, faggot.

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Odumcarlock is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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Odumcarlock is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.


Odumcarlock is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithAmanda ToddBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

Alex FordAmerica's Third PartyAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoArgent009Arguecat3Bambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBikerfoxBill9929Bob RehahnBroniesByAppointmentToChris-chanChuck M.CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDGTrixieDiaper BoyDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDragoneerDrakonEpic Fat GuyErik RibsskogFagolescentsFat ManFaust & PoryFluffy teh wolfFriends of A-LogFurriesGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGhostG-ZayHellkiller777IchverbotJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Kathleen ToddKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMonica PunkMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNick BravoNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPit ViperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSam PepperSethistoSceptreSchnookumsSonmanicSnapesnoggerSuperlisamcbTheSockDetectiveTyciolUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotWeegeeisgoingtokillmYou

Their Methods

9gagAIDSAnimuAsperger's SyndromeBoozeask.fmBody PillowsBullyingCosplayDead FriendDeviantARTDrugsFanFictionFeminismFleshlightFurry ArtHover hand‎HufflepuffSelf-seclusionHackingIRCJenkemLegoLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMinecraftMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNeckbeardNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of FishRuneScapeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSocial JusticeTulpasTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

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