Oklahoma is a state in the asscrack region of the United States, bordered by grass spics on the north, retard babies on the northeast, cousin fuckers on the east, TexASS on the south and west, Injun-Spic Pueblos on the west, and weed mountains on the northwest. The state's name is derived from the Choctaw words okla and humma, meaning "nigger faggot". It is also legally and forcibly called "The Sooner State", named after the football team Okies pray to.
Life in Oklahoma
Life in Oklahoma is pretty shit. A solid 95% of the population is white men named Terry, and they live to hunt tornadoes. The main way Okies die is by suicide, the most prevalent method of their suicide is walking into the daily tornado that destroys their barn, praying they don’t survive. For entertainment Okies have 2 college football teams, an NBA team, drinking 300 beers to get drunk, corn, porn, horn, and smoking Menthols. The typical property in Oklahoma is a 5,000 square foot house with 7 acres of land that typically costs about $7.23 (42.79 Mexican Pesos for the beaners). One activity that all communities participate in is beating an Injun in a circle during halftime of a high school football game, often sacrificing the body to an altar for Barry Switzer (Oklahoma’s 2nd deity).
Oklahoma is host to a diverse range of sectors including stormchasing,crackhead energy (see florida), transportation of slaves, food consumption. Nationally, Oklahoma is an important producer of depression, meth, and obesity. Though oil fucking controls our whole state and lawmakers (See Politics), a collapse in the energy market trolled the fuck out of Okies and made whitey lose more money than he would at an Red Injun casino.
The Legislature of Oklahoma consists of the Oil Executives and the Lawyers of oil companies. As the lawmaking branch of the state government, it is responsible for demolishing any fucking civilization in the state. The Senate has 48 lobbyists serving 7 decade long terms, while the House has 101 dalmations with two-minute terms. The state has an age limit for its legislature that restricts any one person twelve years or older from being in power.
There are five important congress niggas from Oklahoma.
The executive branch consists of the Supreme leader, their lobbyist overlords. The Governor is the chief of all injuns, serving as the sex officio Commander-in-chief of the Okkklahoma airsoft fags.The responsibilities of the Executive branch include lubing a drill with crude oil and sticking it up your ass, ensuring minorities die, and blowing Jesus Christ's dick under a desk.
Oklahoma is in a swampass region. All of the state is the embodiment of a tornado and other bipolar natural forces.The battles of TV Meteorologist produces severe weather (severe shitstorms, at least 100 mile per hour winds, pickup-truck size hail and constant tornadoes) with a frequency of 175 times a day. An average of over 9000 tornadoes strike the state per week.
Because of Oklahoma's warring meteorological factions, climate within the state can shift like a 13 year old girl on her period. As an example, last Thursday, the temperature at Oklahoma City reached 113°F in the afternoon, then a cold front caused by Gary England’s birth struck, causing the temperature to fall to -17 °F. Gary England is responsible for all of the tornadoes in the area, with his rage especially directed at Moore
Over all of Oklahoma, winter is the most ungodly season. Winter features weeks on end of virtual bullshit. All of the state frequently experiences temperatures above 100 °F and temperatures below 0 °F within the same week.Oklahoma's highest-recorded temperature of 120 °F (49 °C) was recorded at 5:30pm today, and the lowest recorded temperature of −31 °F was observed at 6:36am
Oklahoma's earliest history is shrouded in mystery. however it is believed to have originally been inhabited by large talking bipedal iguanas. These natives evolved separately, but not unlike their counterparts in africa, the niggers. These early natives are now known as injuns(the casino kind, not the customer support kind). At least 100 years ago, the injuns gave their land to the kind, and gentle white people. This completely non-invasive action caused the savage injuns the revolt against the nice white people. The injuns unfairly tricking the peaceful white people out of all their money. This ignited World War I, which raged for many years and only ended last thursday. A part of the truce allowed the filthy savages to build casinos to steal money from the least intelligent of the white people.
Oklahoma is part of the inbred region characterized by a love of John McCain and Redneck Christianity known as the "Bible Belt".In addition, Okies have 3 local gods. The 1st god is former KWTV Channel 9 Meteorologist Gary England. Now you may be asking what makes him so important, and the answer is nothing besides he controls our weather and the boomer generation likes him.
The 2nd God is Barry Switzer, former football coach (The Fat whites and fast nigger kind, not the European kind) for the Oklahoma Sooners. He won a game or some shit and controls all sports in the state. The 3rd and final god of the state is Toby Keith. He doesn't have any powers like Ole' Gary and Barry but Okies ride his c0ck relentlessly. Gary England got jealous of Toby so he demolished his home town of Moore with 2 EF5 Tornadoes within 2 decades, and Barry cursed to Moore Lions high school football team to 7 centuries of lackluster performance.
Oklahoma City and surrounding slums
Oklahoma City is a sprawling city that is both a major metropolis and fucking cornfield at the same time. The Eastside (EEE SYE as the nigger inhabitants call it), is probably the worst thing to ever happen to this city. South OKC is full of spics and the only white place left in the city limits is northwest OKC. NW OKC has a problem, all the females have contracted jungle fever and now only mate with big dicked niggers, therefore not ensuring the existence of the white race. Oklahoma City is a city trying to look cute with a sales tax rate of 345.75% (see injunist gov't). The suburbs below paint more of a picture.
- Piedmont: A white community where pot and tractors can be used to buy slaves.
- Nichols Hills: Very rich scum who cheat on their spouses with minorities.
- Edmond: A white outpost of the north that is now darkening;has a rare Cuban.
- Bethany: A w̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Mexican community that is heavily influenced by the Nazarene Church. All the women named Karen sent their kids to school here because the niggers have been subdued.
- Warr Acres: Bethany's brother with more poverty and less Jesus
- Midwest City: niggers
- Del City: ^
- Yukon: Urban Piedmont
- Mustang: Niggardly Yukon
- Moore: A suburb of 50,000 on the southern end of the metro, Gary England trolls this place extensively. This place was fucking clapped by massive tornadoes in 1999, 2003, 2010, and 2013. The 2013 one was fucking rad because it murdered children, proving we don't need guns in our schools
- Norman: Moore without the history of angry wind. Has a college with a football team and that's the only thing in this fucking state
Guymon & other tall grass
The Oklahoma Panhandle is the only thing on earth as flat as your girlfriend and as boring as your personality, this part of the state got its name from a drunk okie thinking it looked like the handle of the pan he just used to beat his wife. This three-county Oklahoma Panhandle region had a population of 28 as of today
The Panhandle is the part of Oklahoma that got clapped in the Dust Bowl, an event where Gary England threw dirt at everyone. This devastated the 100 people living here at the time. After the severe devastation, the Okies migrated to homosexual grape farming communities, where they were treated like niggers. Good going you slack-jawed hicks!
Picher and other holy sites
Picher is a minecraft village in Ottawa County, the far northeast dot of the state. At least 100 years of noobs on the server dangerously undermined most of Picher's town buildings and left giant piles of toxic metal-contaminated mine tailings (known as dinner to Injuns) heaped throughout the area. Eventually the communist envirofags and the state of Oklahoma agreed to a mandatory evacuation and buyout of the entire township. To help Picher out, Gary England destroyed half the town with a tornado on Mother's Day 2008, finally ending this shitty wasteland. The similarly contaminated neighboring villages of Treece, Kansas and Cardin, Oklahoma were taken by the Zionists.
A 2006 Army Corps of Engineers study showed 375% of Picher's buildings (including the town school) were badly undermined and subject to collapse at any time. As a result, Picher is a metaphor for all of Oklahoma; God fearing rednecks who lost brain cells to lead poisoning, combined with losing their town to a tornado and the shitty way of life around them. May Oklahoma soon meet the fate of Picher, an uninhabited, Injun controlled dumpster where everyone is dead.
The town of Wanette, population 350, is the symbol of life in rural Oklahoma. This town had many great sights like a rusty water tower in the middle of the road, a man asleep in his shed at 3:30 in the afternoon, and 3 cows and 7 chickens in an backyard. The typical property in Wanette comes with a washer and dryer in the front yard, an old truck bed, and crippling poverty. This town had one business, Cookie’s Cafe, until it had cheeks clapped by Lord Gary England. It’s recommended that any Okie explorer check this place out, as it is truly the worst Oklahoma has to offer. Living conditions here are so shitty even The Donald would advocate for socialism.
Anadarko, Lookeba, Chickasha, and Hinton
Chickasha is the largest city is the dirty polygon south of the metro. It s named after a typo of Chickasaw, as Okies aren't capable of spelling. It's main attraction is meth alongside Interstate 44. Anadarko got its name in 1873. The designation came from the Nadarko Injuns, a branch of the Caddo, and the "A" was added by an Okie goof.
Listerine has been the only damn pillar of the local economy, since the Washita Valley has been good for Natives and molested white girls. The second pillar of the local economy has been Native American affairs (nevermind, that's just drinking mouthwash).
Lookeba sucks. The end