Old Spice Guy

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The Old Spice Guy is watching you masturbate. And he likes what he sees.
Because after all, I want to smell like a filthy nigger.

In July 2010, Old Spice's ad company introduced a new pitchman to shill its unappealing aftershave. Old Spice Man (better known to Anon as Old Spice Guy) joined a long line of quirky characters like Will Ferrell in the viral ad campaign. Little did they realise what they had on their hands and that Old Spice Guy would actually get people paying attention to your grandfather's aftershave of choice and rocket the character to e-fame and create a bona fide Internets superstar. Played by ex-NFL player Isaiah Mustafa (not to be confused with Bahar Mustafa), Old Spice Guy is now a meme and has recently gained the coveted title of Anonymous's favorite nigger, defeating such challengers as Happy Negro and Will Smith.

The Old Spice Guy is the man you could smell like if you used Old Spice. (or took showers). He is the pinnacle of manliness and an example of what every channer should strive for in their lives. He has a YouTube Favicon.png YT Channel, in which he replies to various YouTubers, twitards and other assorted denizens of the Internets giving advice on how they can be better people and filling /r/s for things like proposing marriage on behalf of some fag with an imaginary girlfriend.

Contents

Re: Anonymous

On July 13, 2010, Old Spice Guy became the 147th King of /b/ for his response to some /b/tard, which shows how easy it is to manipulate Anonymous.

   
 
On the Internet, Anonymous wrote "Use old spice. Our dads use it, our grand fathers used it, because it works. Stop asking or begging for hugs. You smell bad!"
 

 
 

—Old Spice Guy

Response

After finding the video, Anonymous went crazy with joy. They started spamming the comments with memes, declaring the new king of /b/, saying that everyone is a newfag, you know, the usual.

   
 
Black Old Spice guy is a pretty cool guy. eH maeks youtube videos and doesnt afraid of anythin
 

 
 

Newfag

   
 
Oh Old Spice Guy...you had me at Delicious Cæk. If I was gay, I'd totally give you a Brofisting.
 

 
 

ODB

   
 
So we'll troll him -because he can take it. Because we don't fawn over him. He's a silent, manly, guardian -watchful, appealingly scented to women, protector. A Dark Knight of /b/
 

 
 

—Anon

   
 
OLD SPICE UNDERSTANDS ANON :') this is a beautiful moment.
 

 
 

Anon

   
 
He is the only man to have won The Game, and lived to tell about it. He is the only man to play Russian roulette with six bullets and win. He is the only man to stare down Chuck Norris, and survive his roundhouse kick. When he speaks,diamonds are born. He is, the most interesting man in the world.
 

 
 

Anon

   
 
Goddamnit. We need to kill this whole thing now.
 

 
 

Why we can't have nice things.

   
 
by holding up random things he is probably referring to /b/. the cake was probably a coincidence.
 

 
 

Anon is DOING IT WRONG

Previous Quote | Next Quote


Clarification

The Old Spice Guy indeed was referring to /b/ and 4chan in the video, as clarified by the Old Spice Guy himself. Since the vidya description was subsequently changed to the current harbl, many newfaggots started doubting OSG's sincerity and insider knowledge into the workings of the INTERNET HATE MACHINE and crying about Rules 1 & 2 -something he had already covered in the original vidya description, addressing the Rule 1 & 2 (which is supposed to only apply to teh rAIDS) faggotry.


Old Spice Guy lieks ED

   
 
Dearest Anonymous,

I gladly accept your nomination and hope my reign as your 147th king will be long and full of win! Thank you for your continued support!

Love, The Old Spice Man
 


 
 

—OSG

Wait, 147th? Where have I heard that before?

The Stunning Implications

Whilst it is doubtful that an aspiring actor would know anything about Anon and their ways and is just reading from a script prepared by some NORP copywriter from an advertising company, there are disturbing implications in this whole lulzfest. That implication? That a /b/tard has found gainful employment. Even moar disturbing is the thought that since many Anons and channers are now all growed up and entering the workforce, Project Mayhem is in effect.


   
 
Lol at Old Spice's ad firm having a /b/tard as a copywriter. Anon is going into the workforce now. Anon is now old enough to cook your meals, haul your trash, connect your calls, drive your ambulances, guard you while you sleep...and write copy for Old Spice apparently. Project Mayhem is GO GO GO.
 

 
 

Anon


Everything Is Now Diamonds

(X) is now diamonds is a spinoff Old Spice Guy meme from one of his Old Spice JewTubes. See #t=0m18s


When reddit got hold of it they shit bricks when OSG started answering them directly.

I'm On A Horse

Another mini-meme from the Old Spice Guy ads is I'm On A Horse (because Old Spice Guy usually is).

Video


Almost as sexy as Old Spice Guy. Almost.
Mel Gibson calls Old Spice Guy

Isaiah Mustafa responds to Isaiah Mustafa

The More you know...

I'm on a horse

Old Spice Grover
Remixed.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Old Spice Guy Calls It Quits

On 14th July 2010, Old Spice Guy retired from making vidyas is a tearful farewell YouTube to finally GTFO that fucking bathroom he'd been in for two weeks solid to attend to moar pressing matters. He immediately headed down the Gulf of Mexico, donned a SCUBA tank and SWAN DIVED! into the Deepwater Horizon oil leak after BP's months of hard FAIL.



Next up for Old Spice Guy will be teaming up with this month's other famous retiree -Paul the Psychic Octopus- to fix the broken global economy, get comprehensive immigration reform, win the war in Afghanistan, achieve peace in the Middle East and delivering Justin Bieber to Kim Jong Il in exchange for all their nukes -all the stuff Obama is supposed to be doing but can't because of non-existant bipartisanship in Washington DC. Old Spice Guy's ability to make friends and influence people will make all this a cinch. Old Spice Guy is your Black Jesus now.

He will then take a short holiday during which he mod every board on 4chan and pitch 2 perfect games for the New York Yankees whilst batting .500 with 10 home runs in the 2010 World Series. He will be replaced on YouTube by Double Rainbow Guy.

Old Spice Guy Returns!


Old Spice Guy vs. Allysa Milano

Re: Alyssa Milano

Alyssa Milano Responds

And offers him teh sex! For money!

Old Spice Guy Back Atcha

Part 1
Part 2

Part 3

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Old Old Spice Guy

Tim and Eric directed a few commercials preceding the new old spice guy. He is very angry and like all of Tim and Eric's work, retarded. Also, at 1:58 we see conclusive evidence that Terry Crews did WTC.

New Old Spice Guy Fabio

Oh shit, Old Spice Guy is now Old Old Spice Guy!


Old Spice Guy has a son

In May 13 2013 it has been confirmed that Old Spice Guy has a son and the amount of shock has caused everything in the room to get sucked in to the Old spice can.

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Featured article July 19, 2010
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