Opera Browser

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Opera (pronounced Oprah) is the only existing web browser created by Norwegians. Its trademark logo consists of a three-dimensional gaping anus. It is now free, but no one on the internet noticed because they all pirated it anyway. Users tend to change their skin as often as they check the homepage (over 9000 times a day). Opera is the most efficient way to browse the internet and quickly load porn. Opera developers' mission statement is to cram as much crap as possible into one program. Understandably, no body has any idea what the hell Opera is.

Opera fucking sucks. It doesn't help that it's being run on a Mac.

Using Opera is not suggested unless you are either gay, retarded, Norwegian or all of the above. This is probably not an issue since nobody actually uses Opera, making it the only browser less popular than links.

Opera Features

  • Fast, almost entirely inaccurate HTML rendering. But according to the developers it's the site at fault, not the browser.
  • The ability to install custom themes and worksets. This is to create a massive cluttered window similar to IE users who install every toolbar known to man.
  • It has the ability to make your friends think highly of themselves because they're much more 1337 using an even less well known browser than you.
  • Special voice playback technology that provides low quality text-to-speech, plus a 15MB download for functionality. It also causes Opera to freeze and crash. Really.
  • It lets you look down your nose at people who use browsers that don't require them to program their own custom javascript just to block ads.
  • Mouse gestures. Opera will automatically go to Goatse if you move your cursor exactly three pixels to the left on odd-numbered months, but only if your name ends with an "e".
  • Combines Internet Explorer's uselessness with Firefox's fanboyism, plus tabs.
  • IRC: Like mIRC with training wheels. It is not recommended to go on ED IRC using Opera.
  • The scroll button locks up if you're not careful, then you have to do it manually, or restart Opera.
  • Special "volume lock" which prevents you from muting your gay porn.
  • Saving Sessions: Remember Last Thursday when you were masturbating to Leo? Well now you can recall it.
  • An annoying habit of opening the "About Opera" page in the current tab, causing you to lose whatever information you put into any forms on that page.

Typical Opera browser user

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Opera Troubleshooting

If you are having trouble getting Opera to work, follow these instructions:

Linux

  1. sudo rm -rf / (You should be logged in as root, since that's the only way to really have control over your machine).
  2. Insert Windows XP CD.
  3. Don't save any partition space.
  4. Install.
  5. ????
  6. Profit

Mac

  1. Go to /Applications/ and move Opera to the Trash.
  2. Under the Finder menu, select Secure Empty Trash (Always do secure delete in case some asshole wants to recover Opera in an attempt to play a cruel joke).
  3. Open Safari.
  4. Under Safari preferences, set the default browser to a non-Opera browser of your choice.
  5. See steps 2-6 of Linux.

Windows

  1. Go to Add/Remove Programs.
  2. Select Opera.
  3. Click Remove.

Alternative fixes

  • Get off the internets.
  • System32 may need to be removed if you have not recently cleared it.

Gallery

See also