Packer

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Packers in action.

A heterosexual male who is so blatantly heterosexual that he resembles, to innocent bystanders, a homosexual. Not to be confused with fudgepackers, who are actually gay. They do such things as:

  • Play football, where it is totally not gay to slap other males in the ass, or to grab/squeeze/fondle the buttocks, penis or scrotum of another man. This is considered acceptable.
  • Wear very tight t-shirts to show off his 6-pack, and 98.9% of the time has highlighted hair worn in spikes.
  • Will usually answer to the name on the back of his football jersey.
  • Drink "16 ounces of PURE PROTEIN SHAKE!" (this is synonymous for, "I just took steroids, they are stuck in my throat, and I need to wash them down with some muscle-enhancing liquid.")
  • Drive a Dodge RAM, which they will use to profusely Dodge RAM you in the ass. Normally this truck has giant tires so large that you'll need stilts just to see into the vehicle. These RAMs always have badass systems with lots of bass to listen to hardcore bands such as Nickelback and Linkin Park.
  • Randomly threaten to fight any/everyone around to prove his masculinity, because his worst fear is to be labeled a pussy.
  • Packers greatly enjoy beer, especially from a keg. When packers grow up, they become fat football coaches, fat Wal-Mart workers, or fat lardasses who watch taped videos of their high school football games and eat pork rinds all day.
  • Sample screen name: MuscleFootball69

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