Parenting

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Parenting is the process of the "parent(s)" caring for their legal property—the "child" or "children"—that was created or purchased due to boredom. From childhood to adolescence most children must depend on their parents for the resources necessary to survive.

Some argue that the success of the process is dependent on how well the youth was transformed from clueless, dependent, weak infancy into knowledgeable, independent, and healthy adulthood: where thriving is valued over merely surviving.

Being a parent is serious business and is not a game. If you have accidentally become pregnant and are not ready for the responsibility, don't worry, our friendly ED Parenting Experts have some helpful tips.

Parenting styles

The sort of shit parents brainwash their children to believe

Children are raised in a diversity of manners throughout the world: some more lulzy than others.

Uninvolved

Dependent on the situation this may be refereed to as "child neglect"; these children may also be raised by technology with little interaction with their caretakers.

A specific population known as "street children" are defined as children who have been abandoned by at birth or left their poorfag failure parents. Although these children can experience the joy of freedom many get addicted to drugs and alcohol, most commonly solvent abuse among Kenyans who likely also "huff dat jenkem". Street children are usually brown people due to their niggerness.

One example of neglect is an "hero" of the Modern area: Karl Marx: a poorfag Marxist loser that decided to read and write bullshit philosophy instead of getting a job to prevent his four kids from dying.[1] The hateful shit he wrote that essentially said that the world should be otherwise to have more moneys and less responsibilities ended up creating suffering for millions and millions of people.

Overinvolved

Also know as "helicopter parents", in this method the parents are so involved in their kid's life they are metaphorically "reattaching the umbilical cord". Overinvolved parents control and moderate all of the users actions and intentions: controlling and supervising what they do and what they think. Such parents are so concerned with their kids' issues, particularly educational, that they might write a 40-fucking-page paper on their kid getting slapped by a white teacher.

Once extreme case of overinvolvement/control was Josef Fritzl: a man who felt like God having such sheer amount of control over the conscious product of his actions (children). The power to have children being available for these type of people can also be the cause other lulzy effects such as the abortion room.

The cult

Children may become victims of their parent's firm believe in retarded shit such as that God hates shellfish, homosexuality, and mixed fabrics, especially when they are mixed together. At birth a child's mind is capable of being formed into practically anything the parent's wish it to be with the correct amount of psychological manipulation.

Children may become members of The COG (short for "Children of God", later renamed to Family International). From 1974 until 1987, leaders of the COG had sexual contact with 223,989 people while practicing "Flirty Fishing"; said breeding resulted in over 300 "Jesus Babies" by 1981. In relation to the sexual revolution of the 1970s Father David stated that God's luv could also be expressed through luvin on the loner with a boner.

Government parent

The government parent is either the effect of failed parenting or a failed society (the government becomes parent after birth by law).

When parents fail, and or fail to properly raise children the kids end up making bad decisions and having to rely on the government to survive. These losers are metaphorically putting on diapers and being spoon fed; the government becomes their nanny. This type of parenting overlaps with the cult and overinvolved.

In a more theoretical scenario the government can act as a deconstructor and constructor of humans. Such was the case in books A Brave New World by George Orwell and 1984 by Aldous Huxley. Leftards despise humans and wish for them to be more collectivist. The solution is to break everyone down into nothingness so that they can reconstitute their broken minds with "superior" thoughts. Once everyone is deconstructed away from the determinacy of nature and nurture they can do what ever they want with their subjects. To them, it is freedom from essence taking primacy over existence; that is, one's essential characteristics being defined by their biology. This is the effect of a great amount of hatred of God, reality, themselves, and people they do or do not know.

Child custody laws

Parenting laws in a free society.

Child custody laws define the correct relationship between the parent and child. "Custody" is defined as "the protective care or guardianship of someone or something"—which is the same definition for the word "imprisonment". Child custody laws allow the parent to have access to the child depending the parent's sanity and require them to care for the children.

History of parenting

Parents through most of history (before the industrial revolution) was horrifyingly gruesome: much more than it is now. The best of parents then would be viewed obvious child abusers today. Retards back then likely did understand cause and effect; since life was fairly drab secks was a good way to get your kicks. Kids being the effect, survived but offend had a hard dicking due to boredom or great blunt or sharp force imposed on them for being dumber dumbfucks than the dumbfuck parents. Kids back then were likely emo by natural causes instead of the cause being the wish for the effect of social acceptance. Most of childrens' artwork probably looked like YouTube Favicon.png this.

See Also


[Click to CollapseClick to Expand]
Parenting is part of a series on Body and Health
Body.jpg Body Parts:

AssAssholeBallsBodybuildingBoobsBrainCameltoeClitorisCockCumFatFeetFinger BoxGuntHand of ClodHand of DiosIron penisManginaMoobsNeckbeardPissPussyShitSkeletonVagoo

Diseases and Illnesses:

AcneAddictionAIDSAlzheimer'sBeing a GingerCancer (and The Cancer That Is Killing /b/) • Comcast diseaseDiabeetusDiseaseDSMDuckfaceDwarfismEbolaEpilepsyErectile dysfunctionETDFetal Alcohol SyndromeFibromyalgiaGenital HerpesGRIDS (see also The GRIDS that is killing ED) • Heart AttackHyperbolimiaIRC DiseaseObesityPandemicParkinson's DiseaseSame Face SyndromeSARSSexually Transmitted DiseasesSwine FluThin SkinUser Stress SyndromeVirusVomitingWikipedia's Greatest Hits DiseasesZika

Injuries: 1guy1jarBMECircumcisionCastrationDeathEmo Cutter GirlEunuch ArchiveGuroHangoverHeadshotLJ cutLobotomyPain SeriesPregnancyRectal foreign bodySelf-injurySuicideTattoosTrepanation