The Patriarchy is a sinister cabal composed of only the whitest and most geriatric men. More influential than The Man and more devious than the Furluminati, their ultimate goal is to brutally oppress every woman on Earth by not surrendering to their ever fleeting whims.
Methods of Brutality
Patriarchs are as cunning as they are cruel, and their tactics reflect this.
A chief example of this tactic is the weapon known as oppressive fashion. Women are led to believe (primarily by other women) that revealing clothing makes them sluts, and modest clothing makes them prudes. This has the effect of completely nullifying their tiny little minds so that they will welcome male guidance, inevitably causing them to happily remain pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.
It's a fact of life that women are generally horrendous workers. Due to a medical condition, women are incapable of working
one four weeks of each month. In a completely unrelated coincidence, women are paid 75% of what men are. This means that the patriarchy generously pays far above market value for bitchy, garishly dressed labor, and are accused of discrimination for their trouble. While giving women lower wages generally causes butthurt in the short term, they will eventually realize that they must marry a far more productive male if they want the good things in life, such as bubble baths and mountains of footwear. This ensures that the smartest and most productive men will mate, preventing the gene pool from stagnating.
Controlling access to things like abortion causes no end of rage among feminazis, but after popping out a few unwanted, bastardized children, even the dumbest of sluts will have (hopefully) learned a few things about personal responsibility.
Castrating the Patriarchs
In recent years, bitches and whores have begun to undermine their testicle wielding overlords by utilizing the one weapon they fear most: social media. Armed with weapons of mass liberation such as Facebook, Twitter and tumblr, womyn have enjoyed extraordinary success in such varied fields as fat acceptance, penis shaming, and most importantly, teaching men not to rape. The once omnipotent Patriarchy has yet to recover from the endless onslaught of hashtags, images of handwritten notes detailing imagined victimization, and videos of fugly harpies shrieking incoherently into crowds of befuddled onlookers.
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Even ponyfags aren't safe from the patriarchy's efforts to appropriate cultures to white, cis males.
- Illuminati – another evil cabal retards believe in.
- Big Red
- Domestic violence
- Victim complex
- The Man
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|Featured article December 24th & 25th, 2013|