From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Peter Coffin is a sad failure of a YouTube comedian and a proud beta nu-male who earned his fame by kicking himself in the balls on national television, and was later exposed by an Asian blogger/model he was making racist comments toward for roleplaying as his own 18-year-old Japanese girlfriend, which he had been maintaining on various social media accounts by using an army of sock puppets for a solid 15 months.
After quitting the internet for a while, he recently became noteworthy again when he crawled out of obscurity to white knight Zoe Quinn, only to be accused of having an imaginary wife and child this time, one of which is a giant sex toy and the other he posted a fake birth certificate to "prove" was real.
At the moment he's sperging the fuck out on Twitter, trying to take down 8chan, and being stalked by /cow/, which has a user claiming he hired a private investigator who has proof that Peter's wife is in fact a RealDoll. We're currently awaiting final confirmation, but Peter's meltdown is nonetheless nothing short of hilarious.
Peter kicks himself in the balls on TV (literally)
Peter first got his taste of "fame" when he appeared on "Craziest Person in America" to prove he can kick himself in the balls, sparking a life-long addiction to attention. Host Steve Harvey was overheard saying "Wow, this is the stupidest fucking thing ever, in the history of television." before he made his way to another set to film Family Feud, The Steve Harvey Show and Madea Goes to Jail .
His pathetic display was so successful that he was invited back to the show to participate in the grand finale where he won "3rd Craziest Person in America" and was later shown on TV a third time on "NBC's Most Outrageous Moments".
Unsurprisingly, it never occurred to Peter during the course of kicking himself in the balls repeatedly, to wear any sort of padding.
Self Promotion Attempts
From about 2004 to about 2011, when Peter was outed as faking his own girlfriend and shunned from the internet community at large, Coffin made a series of videos and other content for various sites ranging from YTMND, eBaum's World to JewTube. As you can imagine, most of Peter's content was as unfunny back then as it is now. As a result, Peter embarked on a series of pitiful attempts to promote his work on various sites.
Coffin's method of self promotion would display all the hallmarks that would characterise his later downfall. Typically Coffin would post on various forums using sockpuppets, spamming his videos and affliate links in the hope of at least conning people into giving him a payday by clicking on the links. Sometimes Peter would even hold conversations with himself. Occasionally Peter was discovered by moderators and publicly shamed.
The crown jewel of these self promotion attempts was his attempt to get people talking about him by vandalising the IMDB page for a Nicolas Cage movie to list himself in the credits. Coffin then proceeded to spam the message board with hype threads about himself and how awesome it was going to be that he was in the movie, usually to the indifference of the genuine posters, many of whom wondered who the hell Peter Coffin was. Perhaps demonstrating the extent of his delusion was his claim that he was funnier than either Cage or Will Smith because he dared to lick a sidewalk.
Around 2007 Peter attempted, once again through the use of sockpuppets, to get a Wikipedia page made about him. Using his 'phasetrak' account, Coffin created a Wikipedia article on himself. Upon creation of the page, it was swiftly deleted by Wikipedia admins who, correctly, stated that Coffin was not notable enough to warrant his own Wikipedia article.
At this point, Coffin went into full tard rage. Using yet another sockpuppet under the name 'Evil Tito', Coffin proceeded to vandalise the Wikipedia page of a similarly named Canadian Bishop, claiming that he was the Peter Coffin more deserving of an article because he made tons of videos and was on 'The Steve Harvey Show'. In the midst of this tard rage, Coffin, perhaps inadvertently, outed himself as the sockpuppet. Not that it wasn't obvious before, the only edits 'Evil Tito' made were concerning Peter Coffin.
Makes up fake girlfriend and kicks own balls figuratively
Unfortunately for Peter, no one wanted anything to do with his sad excuse for comedy. So much so that, after two years, his video about him becoming a full-time comedian had gotten less than 1,000 views.
Peter spent his time taking out his bitterness regarding how lonely and filled with failure he had become by stalking Asian models online and making racist jokes about them. Why he would do this becomes obvious once you consider his asian dating profiles. Finally he came across Wendy (Xiaxue) Cheng from Singapore, an Asian blogger who would routinely undergo plastic surgery procedures to look more white. Distraught that an Asian woman would change her appearance to look more white, and unable to fight his raging hard-on for Wendy, he began harassing her and making fun of her nose job until she blocked him. Soon after, a second account of one "Kimi Kobayashi", a Japanese girl living in New York and claiming to be Coffin's 18 year old girlfriend, began sending Xiaxue the same kind of tweets. The story would have ended there, but it turns out that Xiaxue is part-time internet detective who made a post on her blog called "Peter Coffin is a Loser" utterly destroying him and proving his girlfriend is not real and is in fact a random picture of Korean model Lee Na Young.
But something seemed wrong. After all, she and Coffin had been in a relationship for 15 months and "Kimi" had various, active online accounts. I mean, no one could be pathetic enough to create an entire fake person on the internet and actively engage in a pretend relationship with them for 15 months, right? Wrong! Peter Coffin is that pathetic. Peter's failure was so massive that his name became a trending hashtag in Singapore and was tweeted by internet celebs and famous Asian supermodels alike.
It appears that, since no one wants to listen to a pudgy white guy, and since he can't make racists comments about chinks without being called out on it as a pudgy white guy, Coffin created a teenage, Asian girlfriend for himself with a stereotypical name that was probably inspired by his obsession with Kim Kardashian. Soon the internet of articles making fun of him, including a lost article that was on ED.com and ones on places like Gawker and Jezebel (which is funny because they have since aligned themselves with him over GamerGate).
Scrambling to do damage control Peter came up with his next failed lie...
"I was catfished!"
Realizing people on Reddit were mocking him, Peter made an account to set the record straight, joined the thread and later (allegedly) deleted all his posts when this expectedly failed. But he wasn't done! His next step was to make an AMA, thinking he could either prove Kimi was real or that he himself was the victim of prank.
This failed even harder. The people on the AMA soon began asking him questions that he could not answer like:
- Why did he claim to have met Kimi?
- Why did he once post claiming she was sitting next to him?
- Why did he say that he fucked her?
- How come he dated her for more than a year and yet never video-skyped with her?
- If she a lived 2 hour flight away from him and was rich (she implied that her rich family provided her with a comfortable lifestyle), how come in the 15 months of their relationship did he never fly out to see her?
- Why did Kimi post and act exactly like him?
- What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you seriously use your own sock puppet to post that you have a perfect penis?
- LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL (this isn't a question but most posts were pretty much this)
It would have ended there, as Xiaxue was starting to feel sorry for the sad schmuck, but then he had to go and try to use the AMA to smear her. Xiaxue responded with another blog post where she corrects her previous statement about how long he's been "dating" Kimi (at first she mistook it for 8 months) and poked holes in his lies by providing proof that 1. Someone had already told him that her pictures were fake 2. That "Kimi" deleted her accounts for a few days following the exposure and 3. Peter claimed she simply used those pictures because she looks like that model, implying he'd seen her (he also said he heard her voice on Skype).
The AMA ended in Peter rage quitting yet again and possibly temporarily deleting it.
"Cease and Desist!"
Learning absolutely nothing, Peter had "his lawyer" send a C&D letter to Xiaxue, demanding that she stop making fun of him online or face a penalty according to Singapore law. However, this email came from an address that had Peter's name in it. So, instead of ceasing and desisting, Xiaxue made another post laughing at what a loser he is called "Peter Coffin is his Own Legal Team" and lol'd at how obviously fake it all was. Not only that, but she had an actual lawyer examine the letter and he found that the law Peter cited was actually a law prohibiting gambling and the content was based on a template Peter found online.
Feeling pity for the poor faggot, Xiaxue's husband made a post saying he's such a loser that they are going to leave him alone.
Peter invents A THIRD person, harasses random blogger
You would think being exposed twice would teach him not to make fake accounts and not to use those fake accounts to try and harass people, but Peter is virtually retarded and, when some nobody blogger made a post mocking him , he made another sock called "IJust DGAF" (once again complete with various social media accounts to add to the illusion) to argue on his behalf and leave angry comments on people's blogs.
The fake account created a blog called "Rants and Retardicles" that defended Coffin's honor and spammed that blogger's comment section. But this only lead to a SECOND post that drew MORE attention to him and lead to a cycle of spamming her out of rage and deleting his comments to hide his shame. He finally fucked off and she posted a last entry saying he mostly went away but is still stalking her every post in silence.
Following this, Peter called one of the sites that wrote about him, began to literally cry on the phone and then announced that he will be quitting the internet for a while and everyone forgot about the sad loser for a couple of years.
Attack of the Kimi Clones
After he was busted, things got even stranger. Peter appears to have been involved in the creation of two separate Star Wars-oriented, gamer girl Tumblr blogs, named sachious and darthdarling. Both sachious and darthdarling used photos of Kimi Kobayashi (aka. Lee Na Young, the Korean model whose photos were stolen) as their avatars. On her Tumblr, Darthdarling claimed she was called Sachi, and one Tumblr user even tags a response to sachious with darthdarling’s nametag.
This imageshack belonging to Peter hosts logos and icons which can be found on the now defunct sachious tumblr, as well as some avatars with Kimi and most importantly, what is probably the earliest (and most unflattering) photo of Ashleigh. Worth of note is the fact that darthdarling (and by extension sachious, them being the same fucking person and all) has the same birthday as Ashleigh (see screenhots)... and that Nihileigh (Ashleigh’s Tumblr name) was initially called darthashleigh.
Did Coffin get catfished by Ashleigh, who was pretending to be Kimi? The two girls do share a striking number of suspicious similarities (see the next section for details). Was he so far off the deep edge that he couldn’t give up the fantasy of a hot, Asian gamer girl who adored him? The digging continues.
If at first you don't succeed, make up a fake wife(?)
After the Kimi fiasco Coffin went AWOL and remained fairly unnoticed for the next few years. He only came into the spotlight once more during GamerGate when he turned from just a regular mangina to a full-on SJW. Yes, Peter was back with more cringe-worthy videos and a hot, new wife. A beautiful, seemingly mentally ill young lady from Scotland that he met at "Susie's Tea Party", married in Vegas and had their ceremonial dinner with at Wendy's before having a seriously deformed looking baby with her. And to top it all off, this one was real!... Or was she? The autistics over at the /cow/ board on
Legi0n 789chan 888chan they're on 8chan now, became suspicious that this one is fake too and may even be a RealDoll.
So began an obsessive campaign to prove if she was real or not.
But she had to be real, right? It sure seemed like it, judging from her multiple, active account, her various pictures and gifs, family members and baby. And yet, many things seems not right. /cow/'s creepy stalking turned up various inconsistencies, such as:
- Peter and "Ashleigh" are hardly ever seen in pictures together.
- They are never both together with the baby.
- When they are, the pictures seem photoshopped.
- In a facebook post that was leaked during the Kimi scandal to the blog he was butthurt about, Coffin claims Kimi was a real Asian girl he met in Scotland that was only using a fake picture. Scotland is also where he claims "Ashleigh" is from. Another interesting bit of information is that on her Formspring, Kimi revealed that she underwent jaw corrective surgery when she was younger - Both Peter and Ashleigh mentioned saving money this year for a jaw surgery for Ashleigh (edit: the surgery took place on the 16th of March 2015). Also, Kimi and Ashleigh are both atheists, have a distant relationship with their father (Kimi's father was a rich Japanese businessman who would leave her and her brother at home and go to brothels, while Ashleigh's father is typical Scottish white trash) and have a younger brother (unamed for Kimi, Ronan for Ashleigh). And were both 18 as of April 2011, Ashleigh being born on July 16th 1992.
- Her movements in the gifs are static, awkward and limited.
- So are her poses.
- In one mirror selfie the light reflecting from he phone is too bright and seems to indicate she was looking at the opening screen and not the camera.
- The "Mirror" in her selfies has to be huge for its edges not to be in frame.
- Another picture of the same area of the house from another angle seems to prove there is no mirror there.
- A picture of her was found on a foreign imageboard a few years before Peter claims to have made it.
- "Ashleigh" doesn't seem to exists on the internet prior to her relationship with Peter.
- Only 4 people with her name were born in he place Peter claims that she is from between 1885 and 2013.
- Only one of those 4 matches her age.
- Peter posted a blurry picture of himself holding up her passport to prove that she is real, but the birth date is wrong.
- In one of Peter's old videos you see a glimpse of what appears to be a RealDoll laying on his floor.
- Her body proportions are unrealistic (huge tits, no hips at all).
- In many pictures something is added (heart, flower) covering her hip. Might be an attempt to cover up the unrealistic joint bulge of a doll.
- Almost all photos of Ashleigh are grainy and with the mouth covered. It has been demonstrated that it is easy to make the difference between human skin and realdoll skin unclear with the sort of filters being used but their lips are too unrealistic.
- In the pictures where her mouth IS visible it doesn't look like she is the same person.
- Some (all?) gifs of her are low frame with oddities such as blank frames and identical frames with different filters. This would not occur converting video to gif, and is indicative that Peter is using stop motion animation.
- Most pictures without a filter are of a girl's back in a public space. There is nothing in these pictures that indicate they are Ashleigh, and indeed don't look proportionally the same as the "doll" pictures.
- There is one video of her holding her baby inside Peter's house that looks like peter in a costume ("she" has a mask on).
- Peter responded to these accusations by calling people idiots and then claiming he'll never be baited into responding.
- He went on by responding with legal documents that aren't clearly legal documents and then claiming he'll never be baited into responding again.
- She always uses the common American spelling of words, rather than the British one.
- Her face never changes and eyes seem to be in a fixed spot when she's not moving them in gifs. Indicating it's a doll who's eyes roll back into place and Peter forgets to change her default expression when talking pix.
Now, you might be asking yourself who would go through this much trouble to forge documents and create and army of sock puppets to fabricate an entire relationship with a made up person. But remember, this is the man who once managed a span of fictional accounts to create the illusion that he has a girlfriend for fifteen months, and when he was caught attempted to cover it up using more fake accounts. Since then he has had several years to learn from his mistakes and prepare the ground for his next attempt. This sort of thing may be beyond the scale of patheticness for most people, but perhaps not Peter. After all, Israel Keyes once buried a murder kit somewhere so he could return to use it one day, two years later. Peter Coffin may be as crazy as a serial killer.
In his attempts to prove his wife is real, or at least stop people from trying to find out, Peter has accused /cow/ of being part of GamerGate, declared war on 8chan and joined in a failed mailing campaign to falsely report 8chan for CP. A campaign that ended with Coffin freaking out because he didn't bother to read to ToS to know that CloudFlare tells people who were reported the name and email of those that sent the complaint. He then attempted to prove that the baby is real by posting a picture of what he claimed was the birth certificate. This still didn't prove anything and, while he censored some of his information on it (such as the baby's middle name: Ronan, most likely named after Ashleigh's brother), he left enough of it in so people just doxd the shit out of him for lulz. As for the certificate itself, it appears to be fake. Many things about it don't seem to match what a real certificate should look like and, if Peter indeed faked it, he would have committed a federal offense.
So what's really going on here? Is she real? Is she fake? A doll? A real woman? Greencard marriage? Some girl who's pictures he got off the internet? Some combination of all those things? No one knows for sure. But what we do know is that /cow/ is allegedly stalking him IRL at the moment and even if she turns out to be real she is clearly a mentally ill person, similar to the human barbie, who's pictures of a flat stomach when she was 5 months pregnant may explain why the baby is hideously deformed and his eyes are so far apart he may as well be a chameleon.
Until Peter posts a well lit, short video of him, her and the baby together and moving around with their faces visible that will prove they are all real and alive, no one can be certain. However, if he does that we can all have a big laugh at how people spent several weeks making him sperg out by harassing him and his entire family over absolutely nothing.
Doll Wife Confirmed? (updates pending)
Someone claims to have hired a privet detective to follow Peter around and posted his findings:
At the moment this is not 100% verified (could be a troll lying about hiring a PI to fuck with people). However, if true, it would mean that Peter spent several years maintaining the appearance of a fake marriage using a combination of an unwitting woman and her baby that he was supposed to babysit, various stolen pictures of her from her social media accounts, an army of sock-puppets, his two retarded brothers that have been excommunicated by their parents along with him as accomplices, an array of forged documents and a giant sex toy.
If at First you Fail to Lawyer, Lawyer Again?
Peter is currently majorly buttnuked over recent developments in his story and is now trying to, yet again, make fake legal threats. He recently sent another C&D to the admin of /cow/ however, also similarly to before, the letter is fake. The firm noted in it is a criminal defense firm that doesn't handle civil defamation cases, the content is stolen from a template he found online (the same was true with the Xaixue letter) and the address is a gym. The lawyer cited in it was contacted and confirmed he did not write it, making the letter a federal offense.
Not discouraged, Peter sent a second letter to Hotwheels himself who ignored it and forwarded it back to /cow/ who just laughed at it a second time.
(Peter claims he didn't send the letter. Updates pending)
/cow/ discovers the "Ashleigh" doll model
While these alleged legal emails were being passed around, 8chan discovered what appears to be the origin of Peter's plastic wife. She's an "Alicia 1H" model from a love doll website called Sinthetics, who coincidentally looks exactly like Peter's "wife," has the same bra size as Ashleigh, and even has a similar name. The best part is that aside from the added glasses, she's not even a custom model, just a common shelf whore.
Also worth pointing out is that the Sinthetics catalog features an Asian doll named Kimiko. Yes, as in Kimi Kobayashi.
Caught making socks again
A few weeks later, while this was all still going on, Peter got into an argument on twitter again about asking for money for his doll wife. Peter stopped arguing pretty fast, but in his place came some random lady to his defense... you can probably guess where this is going.
Yes, she was a sock. Someone checked her account, saw that is was all just pimping out Peter and Peter-style jokes, googled her name and state, found nothing, used a honeypot to grab her IP and find out she was posting from the same state as Peter and not the state she says she's in on her profile and reverse image-searched her avatar to find out it was someone else's picture. Soon after being confronted with this, Peter nuked the account.
Conclusion - The wife is probably real but he still has a sex doll
The video above is a compilation of deleted videos Peter once recorded with an opinionated commentary in between the videos from the author who put it together. These video pre-date SJW Peter, and their context seems to indicate that he finds the feminism movement to be a joke.
But it looks like Peter realized he didn't want to work for a living and be a productive member of society, so he took to being an internet "comedian" instead and used the power of social networking to find his audience. When this didn't work and his unfunny videos weren't enough to pay the bills, he decided to hop on the SJW bandwagon.
Realizing circumstances have provided him with a new and gullible audience, he finally posted the video above, proving this chick is real (albeit possibly crazy as her various accounts would suggest). Shortly after Peter announced that his wife suddenly needed jaw surgery so he can scam his new fans out of money. Nonetheless, none of this explains the fact he still has a sex doll in his house and makes gifs and pictures of her pretending she's his wife.
Another theory is that she's not his wife, but rather some woman who is in on the scam with him. Note how her scottish accent that she had in a previous video is now mysteriously gone.
In the wake of Rachel Dolezal scandal, Coffin took to Twitter to tell his loyal fanbase and audience just what he thought of the situation. In true Coffin fashion, Coffin proceeded to bitch about how Dolezal was culturally-appropriating POC and taking power from them in a long rant which interested absolutely no one.
Coffin's rant was, of course, characteristically hypocritical, as Coffin has for many years pretended to be a Jewish man trapped in the body of a terribly unfunny white man. Coffin first claimed to be Jewish in order to make jokes about Jews, a routine he stole wholesale from the plot of a Seinfeld episode. He used his cultural-appropriation of the Jewish people to make some unfunny banter between him and his made up Japanese girlfriend.
Since his outing as a hack and pathetic loser, Coffin has, on several occasions, played the Jew card to ingratiate himself with the Social Justice crowd and to gain the oppression points he sorely lacks as a proud beta white knight, ignoring the fact that SJWs don't give a fuck about Jews, especially ones that weren't Holocaust victims.
Coffin's claim to Jewish heritage is specious at best, and stems from a misconception about his Polish heritage. Coffin claims his mother's maiden name is Dombrowski and that his mother's side of the family are Poles of Jewish ancestry. This is unlikely, for several reasons:
1. Dombrowski or Dąbrowski is not a Jewish surname. It is a Polish surname meaning 'oak grove'. It is possible that Coffin confused his mother's surname with Dobrowolski, which is typically a Polish-Jewish surname meaning 'converted from good free will' (compare with the Russian 'Dobrovolsky')
3. Coffin's family is Catholic and Coffin was raised Catholic. Poland has a large Catholic population, and Coffin's catholic upbringing suggests that his mother's family are Polish Catholics rather than Polish Jews. This is made obvious by the fact that Coffin's mother's family was (unfortunately) not carted off to Auschwitz or some other concentration camp.
4. Coffin's mother follows a Methodist Church on Facebook in a way that would indicate membership, once again precluding any signs of Judaism.
5. Coffin uses his big nose as 'proof' of his Judaic heritage. Of course, Coffin's nose is more Roman than Jewish and if you look at Coffin's family photos you will notice that Coffin is simply the runt of the litter. The rest of his family display no Jewish traits whatsoever.
6. Jews are rich. Coffin has to e-beg
7. Jews are successful. Coffin can barely get people to give him $200 on Patreon
8. Jews drive nice cars. Coffin drives a Ford
9. Jews are funny.
Suffice to say, much like Coffin's girlfriend, Coffin's Jewish heritage is completely made up.
Coffin gets butthurt, privates Twitter
On July 12th 2015, an SJW demonstrated a rare moment of clarity and decided to call out Peter Coffin for being the beta orbiter that he is, calling him a 'creepy ally'. Understandably Peter, who spends 90% of his time on Twitter pretending to get offended about a variety of Social Justice issues, was visibly butthurt, and tried to defend himself from these accusations/check his privilege. This only made the situation worse and led to the Kimi scandal being brought to light once again for a whole new audience. In response, Peter got incredibly anally devastated and privated his Twitter, his bio telling people to 'Fuck off'. Coffin then proceeded to go on another rant, blaiming Xiaxue once again for ruining his life and claiming he did nothing wrong, even though A) he started it and B) he invented Kimi, not Xiaxue. Unbeknownst to Coffin, a fair portion of his Twitter followers are, in fact, anons from /cow/ who managed to screencap the entire rant before Peter, realising that Twitter is the only platform where people pretend to give a shit about him, unprivated his Twitter and baleeted the entire rant.
Coffin turns 31, trolls himself
On the 20th of July 2015, Coffin completed yet another year in his pathetic failure of a life. To commemorate the occasion, instead of, say, spending time with his wife and child, Coffin chose to surf Twitter for asspats from people he doesn't know (including Dogfucker) and to go on yet another Twitter sperg-out (sensing a pattern here?).
This time Peter chose to link the article Gawker wrote about him way back in 2011 to his audience of Twitter followers, many of whom had not read the article previously and were thus completely unaware that Coffin made up his own girlfriend back in 2011. He figured that, in the wake of Gawker's recent troubles over an article they published he would be an opportunist and convince them to take down an article he's still claiming is untrue despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.
Upon being called out for this display of blatant stupidity, Peter began to sperg out in earnest, once again repeating his talking points about how Xiaxue is to blame for his misfortune (even though, once again, he harassed her first) and how he was supposedly being catfished (despite claiming to have met Kimi and known who she was on at least two separate occasions, and despite dating Kimi for a period of at least fifteen months). New to this round of sperging was Peter's butthurt at Gay William Faggotson (whom he referred to as 'Ray William Shitface' because he's too much of a PC faggot to say faggot) for signal boosting Xiaxue's takedown of him, which then apparently attracted the media's attention.
To cap off this sperg-out, an SJW White Knight with either a warped sense of reality or a hidden desire to see Peter take a bigger fall, suggested that he sue Gawker for defamation and libel. Such efforts would, of course, prove fruitless and bankrupt Coffin in the process as, for once, Gawker didn't do anything wrong.
Reminder that he was doing all of this on his birthday instead of spending time with the wife and child that are 'Totally real guise'.
For years Peter has been making youtube videos to the blatant indifference of everyone online. None of these videos are in any way funny and so few people watch them that it often takes his "hilarious" videos years to hit 10,000 views. Only recently did people start paying attention to him again when, after being labeled a racist misogynist because of the Kimi thing and due to severe loss of testosterone from years of kicking himself in the balls, he became a social justice warrior. It was at this point that his videos, that were already preachy and unfunny before, became full-on, hilariously inept propaganda when Peter decided to try and hop on the anti-GamerGate bandwagon.
Finally people were laughing at his videos, but for all the wrong reasons. His new audience was enthralled by Peter's displays of poor acting, poor editing and outright autism. The "parodies" contain nothing but Peter talking to himself in front of a green screen, wearing various costumes and doing funny voices because he doesn't have a single friend to make these videos with him.
His pathetic flailing reaches a level of "So bad it's good" and people on various GamerGate sites often gather around to watch them for some comic relief. His biggest hits include "Make it Stop" (which is exactly what people are screaming when they hear his songs), where you can watch his effeminate gestures and girly voice that make it painfully obvious he's in the closet, and a song about his pride in being an unattractive, socially awkward coward called "Beta as Fuck" that he made alongside Jonathan Mann, the guy who wrote a song defending Anita when she got mad that people were comparing her to Jack Thompson. He follows this up with a Family Guy level of tryhard edginess by making a song called "The Pedophile's Guide to Love & Pleasure."
Faced with falling viewing figures on his main channel and unable to continue paying for view bots to inflate his view count, Peter decided to try and join the rest of the JewTubers and become a Let's Player, in yet another feeble, late-to-the-party attempt to win back his supposed 'lost' 'popularity', through his 'Play with Peter' account.
The result is pretty much what you'd expect. Despite being incredibly unfunny when scripted, Coffin's lack of comedic talent is never more readily apparent than when he tries to improvise. His let's plays consist of him playing games and laughing at his own jokes, mixed in with heavy, heavy heapings of autism. Furthermore, while most Let's Players will upload long videos on a regular basis in order to make the most Jewgle adsense money out of Jewtube (the algorithm rewards people who upload longer videos more regularly), Coffin chooses to upload short videos once a week, again demonstrating his keen business sense.
Of course, much like the rest of Peter's work, nobody fucking cares about his Let's Plays, especially when JewTube is already over-saturated with tons of better Let's Players. As a result, much like everything else in Peter's life, his attempt at being a Let's Player is mostly a failure, as the viewing figures will demonstrate.
Peter is a jack of all trades and has various other (failed) projects.
Videos: Peter has come out with two DVDs that nobody cares about and nobody wants to buy. The first, "The Stupid Show: An American Dream", is clearly a quality production based on the fact its IMDB page has one line of text and no pictures. The second, "Peter Coffin is a Douche", is another comedy abortion and you would sooner find the lost city of Atlantis than you would someone who watched it. To try and drum-up interest, Peter has been inserting himself into Nick Cage movies and trying to pass it off as some hilarious prank. The saddest part is that a couple of wikis list this as Peter's greatest success. And they are correct.
Music: Peter has two, unfunny "rap" albums. The albums are called "Audio Diarrhea" from 2002 and "Feces Statues" from 2003 and according to one site, in the 13 years since they came out they have had less than 1,000 listens.
Medium 'Thinkpieces' Never one to miss a ploy for attention, Peter turned to writing blog posts on the blog site Medium, using these posts as a forum to vent his deep, philosophical and poltical ramblings, because the opinions of a 31 year old college drop-out who made up his own girlfriend on Twitter are really something people value. Topics range from a variety of SJW talking points, essentially the blog posts are just Peter's Twitter sperg outs in blog form, possibly monetised because an opportunity to get petty cash is another ploy Peter never misses.
Game company: It turns out Peter was working on a shitty indie game called "Hipstairs" (because everyone knows all good games are based on stupid puns) with someone named James Hartley. This might explain why he is now trying to suck Zoe Quinn's dick in hopes of using her connections. The game had about half a dozen social media accounts, a "company" they expected to use when making future games but no actual game. In the end they were able to produce less than 30 seconds worth of gameplay footage, never even finished level one and the last update was two years ago. The game was the most generic shit you could ever imagine.
—HIPSTER AS FUCK
MineCraft Autism: If you've read the rest of this article by now you have probably come to the conclusion that it's safe to assume that Peter is autistic (and that's before I even told you he has a fucking obsession with Sonic). But to truly gauge the scope of his aspieness one must look at his Minecraft creations, which are so extensive they warranted separate pages for both him and his work on a wiki about the "Scotland" server, where he built an entire town he called "Coffinshire" that contains a replica of Jersey Shore.
- Imaginary Girlfriend
- David Hockey
- Kevin Havens
- White Knight
- Rozen Maiden
- Invisible Girlfriend
- - Seems to have abandoned it after the Kimi thing.
- - He must have spent quite some time making all these fake like accounts.
- His tumblr
- - Unfunny. AVOID!
- - Even more unfunny. ALSO AVOID!
- - SAME!!!
- - Shut up and give him your money! Those Realdolls don't pay for themselves, now do they?
- GoFundMe drive for Ashleigh's "jaw surgery"
- Slim / Slender" - "
- His reddit
- - Privet
- His album - 13 years. Less than 1,000 people listened to it.
- He's trying to sell shirts
- His vine
"Goodnik Games" (his fake gaming company)
- here. . - You might be able to download it
- "Peter Coffin is a Douche" on amazon - Leave a bad review.
- Forged marriage certificate.
- Article about him on a Minecraft server wiki.
- And another about his made up town there.
- Peter's article on some wiki.
- Another one.
- Newspaper archive with article about him winning 3rd craziest person in America.
- Video of him kicking himself in the balls.
- Peter making fun of trannys on Ebaum'sWorld
- Old reddit thread about "Ashleigh"
- - does that writing style seem familiar to you?
- Ashleigh's Tumblr dump
- Not sure what to make of this.
- Vote for Ashleigh as this year's gaming's #1 fictional character!!!
- Collection of Ashleigh's old .gifs on GIFYO, where she mostly shows her tits
8chan detective story threads
Rolling archive: http://8archive.moe/cow/search/subject/Peter%20Coffin/
- I: https://archive.is/lijz3
- II: https://archive.is/u5H5b
- III: https://archive.is/MEj2A
- IV: https://archive.is/FDMp1
- V: https://archive.is/3VIKk
- VI: https://archive.is/DZlsA
- VII: https://archive.is/Ya9af
- VIII: https://archive.is/NpLBd
- IX: https://archive.is/Tm0A1
- X: https://archive.is/JnBl4
- XI: https://archive.is/R96jB
- XII: https://archive.is/V11h1
- XIII: https://archive.is/yVdL2
- XIV: https://archive.is/5ysbT
- XV: https://archive.is/JM2KX
- XVI: https://archive.is/cfC72
- XVII: https://archive.is/2gdS5
- XVIII: https://archive.is/BhvoG
- XIX: https://archive.is/g5gfI
- XX: https://archive.is/gD3nJ
- XXI: https://archive.is/M8NZX
- XXII: https://archive.is/4j7Ze
- XXIII: https://archive.is/h2YoY
- XXIV: https://archive.is/DxqeE
- XXV: https://archive.is/TjPcG
- XXVI: https://archive.is/pW3Cx
- XXVII: https://archive.is/mOI2B
- XXVIII: https://archive.is/Ymxrz
- Peter's legal threat: https://archive.is/PlJCl
- XXIX: https://archive.is/rfN1R
- XXX: https://archive.is/ZYms6
- XXXI: https://archive.is/tUOIR
- XXXII: https://archive.is/ilGNl
- XXXIII: https://archive.is/d0NtQ
- XXXIV (DOLL FOUND): https://archive.is/YIML8
- XXXV: https://archive.is/gtXRX
- XXXVI: https://archive.is/Kqp7I
- XXXVII: https://archive.is/AXk27
- XXXVIII: https://archive.is/CJVZ9
- XXXIX: https://archive.is/iK7wf
- XL: https://archive.is/3fF9t
- XLI: https://archive.is/0yTZn
- XLII: https://archive.is/PIkAu
- XLIII: https://archive.is/N9T6a - https://8ch.net/cow/res/35583.html
- XLIV: https://archive.is/ixzdU - https://8ch.net/cow/res/36498.html
- XLV: https://archive.is/9AOZE - https://8ch.net/cow/res/36693.html
- XLVI: https://archive.is/YyKJ0 - https://8ch.net/cow/res/36955.html
- XLVII: https://archive.is/raNoE - https://8ch.net/cow/res/37561.html
- XLVIII: https://archive.is/pHF5k - https://8ch.net/cow/res/37918.html
- XLIX: https://archive.is/HPB6E - https://8ch.net/cow/res/38915.html
- L: https://archive.is/PLvAY - https://8ch.net/cow/res/39725.html
- LI: https://archive.is/sOXlI - https://8ch.net/cow/res/40552.html
- LII: https://archive.is/O1XRz http://8archive.moe/cow/thread/41231
- LIII: https://archive.is/lcU13 http://8archive.moe/cow/thread/42826
- LIV: https://archive.is/31G8D - https://8ch.net/cow/res/44613.html
- LV: https://archive.is/O7HUz - https://8ch.net/cow/res/46744.html
- LVI: https://archive.is/xHbM8 - https://8ch.net/cow/res/48133.html
- LVII: https://archive.is/9xJgs - https://8ch.net/cow/res/48679.html
- LVIII: https://archive.is/t5puA - https://8ch.net/cow/res/50973.html
- LIX: https://archive.is/3RrRU - https://8ch.net/cow/res/52665.html
- LX: https://archive.is/8qmQk - https://8ch.net/cow/res/52886.html
- LXI: https://archive.is/6eF2g - https://8ch.net/cow/res/54846.html
- LXII (Risa sockpuppet outed): https://archive.is/0qJLt - https://8ch.net/cow/res/57984.html
- LXIII: https://archive.is/i1zLQ - https://8ch.net/cow/res/58938.html
- LXIV: https://archive.is/zliWx - https://8ch.net/cow/res/60407.html
- LXV: https://archive.is/jvm2j - https://8ch.net/cow/res/61353.html
- LXVI: https://archive.is/X2GFJ - https://8ch.net/cow/res/65558.html
- LXVII: https://archive.is/A1MyT - https://8ch.net/cow/res/68024.html
- LXVIII: https://archive.is/K8eex - https://8ch.net/cow/res/68153.html
- LXIX: https://archive.is/us5qn - https://8ch.net/cow/res/70477.html
- LXX: https://archive.is/0zdy6 - https://8ch.net/cow/res/72225.html
- LXXI: https://archive.is/vpQ1V - https://8ch.net/cow/res/74897.html
- LXXII (Braceface surgery): https://archive.is/pTOT6 - https://8ch.net/cow/res/76877.html
- LXXIII: https://archive.is/zmfuf - https://8ch.net/cow/res/78791.html
- LXXIV: https://archive.is/zhL0l - https://8ch.net/cow/res/80780.html
- LXXV: https://archive.is/GAo5c - https://8ch.net/cow/res/82517.html
- LXXVI: https://archive.is/NYVzc - https://8ch.net/cow/res/84552.html
- LXXVII: https://archive.is/QNUUp - https://8ch.net/cow/res/89393.html
- LXXVIII: https://8ch.net/cow/res/93332.html
Original fake girlfriend saga
- Xiaxue's first post about him
- Xiaxue's second post about him
- And the third one
- - His name became synonymous with not knowing when to quit.
- Article about Peter
- Followup where he cries on the phone
- The blogger he tried to feud with's first post
- Her second post
- And the third one
- His first attempt to talk to reddit
- Failed Reddit AMA after original fake girlfriend saga
- - (Peter was her only friend)
- Her Twitpics
- Kimi's forumspring where she answer disgusting questions
| Peter Coffin is part of a series on Dying Alone
Peter Coffin is part of a series on
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|Featured article January 26th & 27th, 2015|
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