Peter Pan

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Floating in front of the molestation shed!

Look no further! Randy Constan is Peter Pan. This may confuse you, because before Randy was discovered it was believed that Michael Jackson was the one and only Peter Pan. That however is false. Randy not only creates his own music while touching 13-year-old boys, but as opposed to Michael he knows how to use teh internets.

Pans two favorite quotes:

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex." -- Bill Maher

"Unless you become as little Children, you can't see God's kingdom." -- Jesus

History of Pete

In his younger years.

Apparently Peter Pan was born at least 100 years ago in New York. Many psychologists would suggest that Peter Pan is a victim of Pedophilia. Which helps us understand why in our modern times he lures kids into his bed and then "punishes" them.

Peter Pan Of Today

As of today Peter Pan is living in Tampa Bay, Florida. He is 52 years old but claims he is still only 14 years of age, making it perfectly okay to express his love for "other children". I'd advise anyone living in Tampa Bay to lock all their doors and windows before someone ends up on America's Most Wanted.

It is said that Peter Pan made his homepage in an attempt to get a girlfriend and quite possibly a wife, but we all know that really he is just a fag. On his homepage you can buy "Be A Pixie" T-Shirts for $22 of irl munnies through paypal, which is a guaranteed way to get shot dead when walking near a ghetto. Highely recommended for all the emo fAgetz out there.


Recent speculation has arisen on 4chan's /x/ board that Peter Pan's true identity is actually that of the Slender Man, but nobody gives a shit because everybody is too busy fapping over The Grifter.

Quotes From Peter Pan

Atomic.gif Warning!
If you're gay and proud these quotes will most likely turn you straight.

  • "I know all this makes me a very silly boy!"
  • "Of course life is not a game, and I do strive to continually grow in emotional, spiritual, and mental maturity."
  • "And, as you might have guessed, I DO love the outfits."
  • "I wont grow up!"
  • "I do quite a bit of sewing."
  • "If you happen to have seen Tinkerbell, Wendy, Tigerlilly, or any of my pals, please tell them of my site!"
  • "I tried to take ballet for a while."
  • "I found this super starry glitter fabric to make tights, and it turned out super cute!"
  • "I'm going to be a cute school boi!"
  • "Besides, the God of Love that Jesus spoke of is the only one I serve."
  • "Putting your penis in my mouth is very normal Timmy..."



See also

External links