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Phil Fish
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Phil Fish (Powerword: Jacques Paul Philippe Poisson) is a shitty video game designer and LITERAL CRIMINAL who received immense praise following his creation of a Super Paper Mario rip-off called "Fez". A filthy hipster, Fish is widely reviled on the internet mostly because he's a douche and a drama whore. He's also French Canadian, which goes a long way towards explaining why he's such a stuck-up narcissistic twat.
He can't sustain his ego since he must be respected by everyone, so don't you dare try to criticize Fez, or Phil or his white knights will harass you and your family. Sometimes when Phil goes up against people with an intellect higher than a wet pixel, he usually makes an ass out of himself and goes into a ragefit, such as his latest one where he quit his gaming career and closed his company down.
Early career
Before he made his company Polytron and his game Fez, he was part of Kokoromi (moar liek COCKROMI) who also made shit games. Their goal was to promote games in their art forms which is retarded since games are made to have fun, not to watch an 8-hour movie. The group met in 2005 and they held events to promote their shitty games such as Gamma256 - you can see the rest of their projects here.
Basically they encourage designers to make games different than what people normally see, and then they submit it to their events so people can see it. Sounds simple, right? Well, that's far from the truth, since most people don't know that Kokoromi benefits from games appearing on their events, so they are a bunch of greedy Jews who are looking to steal some money from gullible people trying to promote their games in one of their world wide known events.
Fez
Despite him making just one game, he got praised insanely and it probably had something to do with the 9.5 that IGN gave Fez, there's truly nothing wrong with this. It all went to his autistic head, and his e-peen quintupled in size.
The story of Fez (or, as it commonly known, Cave Story 2 Electric Boogaloo,) is that the protagonist, named Gomez, one day receives a magic fez in the mail, which makes him able to interact in 3 dimensions in a 2D world. That's it.
Fez, short for Festering Pile of Shit, with the Z added to be hip, is a game where you get to change the dimensional view. It has been done many times before, and yet people praise it as the savior of video games. What's so special about this gimmick? Even we at ED don't know the answer to that.
After Fez sold over 200,000 copies on Xbox Live Arcade and got many awards it was going to Steam, yet Phil couldn't keep his mouth shut and he went on about how people should be grateful that Fez is $9 and that he should charge the game with a price of $90. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a sign of a huge ego stroke where Phil believes his game should be more expensive than games like Skyrim and Bioshock, because making a game in Flash and ripping-off another game sure is quite something special and worth praising.
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His Tweets which started the mess
After all of that shitstorm, people have had problems with their save files. So since they paid for their game, Phil should fix his game with a patch. Instead, he rejected patching the game, because fuck you guys it was too expensive.
Theory about the game
It has been theorized that the game is actually an insight into the autistic brain of Phil, showing off his massive ego and fragility to the world. The main character, Gomez, gains a magical Fez, which can grant the wearer insight into a new dimension, just as Phil hopes that he could put on a magic hat, and gain insight into the dimension known as reality. And just like Phil, Gomez should not face any adversity, so there are no enemies in this world. And just like the life of Phil, there is no interaction with females, as Phil had no idea how to code them.
Now also on Playstation
If you thought Phil and the rest of his cronies were done milking the ever-loving shit out of a game which was already more than a year old, you would be wrong. Because while Phil and the rest still hasn't gone around to fixing the many issues with the game, they have seen it fit to release the cock-drivel onto Playstation, because it didn't already have enough shitty games. And just to highlight how much they fucking despise you, they will even include it on the PS4, so the modern era console can run 1993 games, YEY. This is also much easier than to make a new game, when you have a grown man-child as a key member.
Glitches
Besides being the hipster version of Cave Story, the game is of course riddled with bugs. 1% of gamers can't save their games. The amount of game breaking glitches is overwhelming, considering how easy the game was to make and took 5 years to develop.
According to Quora, the game made more than $1,000,000. and it has sold more than a million copies to hipster faggots.
Here is a collection of some of the visual glitches.
Phil hates Japanese games
During a Q&A session, a wapanese video game developer went to ask Phil what he thinks of modern Japanese video games. The response wasn't shocking as he said the following:
| —Phil Fish | ||
The amount of irony here is too strong, because since Japanese games suck of course Phil would copy a game from Japan, see how dumb that was? Why the fuck would you copy two games from Japan and then proceed to tell them that their games suck? Simple: it's because in Phil's world anything he creates is immediately perfect and has no problems, even if he ripped it off from something he hates.
But no guys we just got his comment all wrong, this is proof that Phil's a pussy and he tries to run away when cornered.
Difference between Pixel and Phil Fish
Version 1
Version 2
Phil leaves gaming
Phil has gotten into many bitch fights but this one broke him down into the point where he emo quits the gaming industry, takes his company along with him, and cancels Fez 2. This of course led to butthurt from his fans since they anticipated the sequel to Fez.
What happened is that Game Trailers host Marcus "AnnoyedGamer" Beer and Fish got into an argument after Beer called Fish a "hipster," a "tosspot," a "wanker" and a "fucking asshole", then Fish told Beer "compare your life to mine and then kill yourself", asked for an apology, and the argument lead to Fish emoquitting the gaming industry. The word butthurt isn't even enough to explain his actions.
You can see his twitter fight here in chronological order:
Videos that summarize the event
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Previous Video | Next Video |
AnnoyedGamer's message to Phil Fish
Quotes
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Ways to troll Phil Fish
- Mention Cave Story.
- Torrent his game, purchase Japanese game, send receipt and screenshot of torrent to his Twitter.
- Say his game sucks.
- Be Japanese.
- Make an actual good video game.
- Roleplay as him in Game Dev Tycoon, which is a blatant rip-off just like Fez, and send the video to him
- Ask why Fez has such a mediocre rating on Metacritic by users, but great amongst "critics"
- Mention that since the development of Fez began, Call of Duty was only at Modern Warfare 4.
- Point out that World Of Warcraft released their first expansion same year as Fez was announced.
- Tell him that it took less time to develop Skyrim.
- Inform him that Fancy Pants Adventures, who won the Newgrounds game of the year award, the year after Fez was announced, is a bigger seller than Fez.
- Remind him that a game with zero difficulty is not actually a game, but instead a pastime, like knitting.
- Tell him to make Fez 2 for free
You make a Let's Play of Fez, you need to pay
So Phil, in his infinite wisdom, decided to go the route of Nintendo and claim that if you uploaded his "game" to YouTube and enabled ads, you owe him money. This is because this autist has already spent his money on kleenex for all the tears he cried when someone called him out on being a fucking hipster faggot. Of course people explained to him that nobody gave a shit, and they cared even less about his shitty creation. It all culminated in Phil having a hissyfit and closing his Twitter.
| —Phil Fish before blocking his Twitter before closing it | ||
| —Phil Fish before deleting his Twitter and crying | ||
| —TotalBiscuit calling out Phil in a tweet. | ||
Remember kids if you make money doing let's plays you are a dirty stinking thief
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Previous Video | Next Video |
Being hacked
One day Phil came out of his self-imposed exile from video games to white knight Zoe Quinn against a person she sexually harassed at a wedding they attended. This was obviously a great idea as can be seen from the fact his DropBox and website being hacked and all the information about his games, business dealing and the dox of everyone involved being posted, including SSN.
Some believe the hack was a false flag just like Zoe's was earlier that week, but anyone without their head up their own ass understands that isn't true. Nonetheless, in an effort to prove their own innocence and get Phil in trouble, multiple 4Chan users contacted the FBI to inform them of the hack. So we won't know what the truth is until either Phil gets a ride from the party van or one of the /v/ users gets taken away in cuffs after being snitched on by his own people.
Regardless of any of this, Phil went on a his most glorious rampage to date, calling people rapists and terrorists, before quitting gaming for the twenty-millionth time. Only this time he didn't only quit but put "Fez" up for sale.

Selling Fez
Due to his large amount of USI, Phil the retard thinks that his game is worth anything. And because he is tired of being the laughing stock of the internet, Phil is selling the IP of Fez for only 5,000,000,000,000,000,000 USD.
What does he do now?
Corruption
As a result of the documents leaked in the hack, Phil Fish has recently been accused of being part of a racketeering scheme to rig FEZ's early success at Independent Games Festival and IndieCade festival competitions. It seems that that investors in "Fez" were all judges at both these contests. The plan looks to have been to invest the money in the game, make a fake contest, pay Phil the prize money collected from people who actually paid $100 each to enter their game and then get back their investment money back from the profits "Fez" makes due to the publicity gained from winning.
Later, these allegations, though backed up with factual evidence, are of course untrue, because (as everyone knows) facts are both racist and sexist and if you believe in them you are obviously a mentally-impaired, mouth-breathing neckbeard.
Gallery
| Looks like the fish got out of the water | About missing Pics | |||||||||||||||||||||
See Also
External Links
Yes, he has a DeviantArt
Friend him
His company's websitehacked, due to five guys, burgers and fries.- Original announcement at Archive.org
His Twitter Protected sometime Last Thursday.Reopened.Bahleeted.Reopened.Down again.Protected again- Gears of War creator Cliffy B sucks Fish's dick so IGN can receive more bribes.
- Allegations that Fish's investors rigged the IFG and IndieCade competitions so FEZ would win.
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Phil Fish is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Phil Fish is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
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| Featured article August 11 & 12, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by SysOp | Phil Fish | Succeeded by DotA |
| Featured article August 30th & 31st, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Kotaku | Phil Fish | Succeeded by The Fappening |







