Phil Fish

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
Philfishcrying.gif
Phil Fish Wish The Whole Game Industry Was A Building So He Could Burn It Down.jpg
Shave that fucking beard, you goat.

Phil Fish (Powerword: Jacques Paul Philippe Poisson) is a shitty video game designer and LITERAL CRIMINAL who received immense praise following his creation of a Super Paper Mario rip-off called "Fez". A filthy hipster, Fish is widely reviled on the internet mostly because he's a douche and a drama whore. He's also French Canadian, which goes a long way towards explaining why he's such a stuck-up narcissistic twat.

He can't sustain his ego since he must be respected by everyone, so don't you dare try to criticize Fez, or Phil or his white knights will harass you and your family. Sometimes when Phil goes up against people with an intellect higher than a wet pixel, he usually makes an ass out of himself and goes into a ragefit, such as his latest one where he quit his gaming career and closed his company down.


Contents

Early career

The founding members of Kokoromi buttfucking each other.

Before he made his company Polytron and his game Fez, he was part of Kokoromi (moar liek COCKROMI) who also made shit games. Their goal was to promote games in their art forms which is retarded since games are made to have fun, not to watch an 8-hour movie. The group met in 2005 and they held events to promote their shitty games such as Gamma256 - you can see the rest of their projects here.

Basically they encourage designers to make games different than what people normally see, and then they submit it to their events so people can see it. Sounds simple, right? Well, that's far from the truth, since most people don't know that Kokoromi benefits from games appearing on their events, so they are a bunch of greedy Jews who are looking to steal some money from gullible people trying to promote their games in one of their world wide known events.

Fez

Despite him making just one game, he got praised insanely and it probably had something to do with the 9.5 that IGN gave Fez, there's truly nothing wrong with this. It all went to his autistic head, and his e-peen quintupled in size.
The story of Fez (or, as it commonly known, Cave Story 2 Electric Boogaloo,) is that the protagonist, named Gomez, one day receives a magic fez in the mail, which makes him able to interact in 3 dimensions in a 2D world. That's it.
Fez, short for Festering Pile of Shit, with the Z added to be hip, is a game where you get to change the dimensional view. It has been done many times before, and yet people praise it as the savior of video games. What's so special about this gimmick? Even we at ED don't know the answer to that.

After Fez sold over 200,000 copies on Xbox Live Arcade and got many awards it was going to Steam, yet Phil couldn't keep his mouth shut and he went on about how people should be grateful that Fez is $9 and that he should charge the game with a price of $90. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a sign of a huge ego stroke where Phil believes his game should be more expensive than games like Skyrim and Bioshock, because making a game in Flash and ripping-off another game sure is quite something special and worth praising.

The only review Fish couldn't buy off.




His Tweets which started the mess

After all of that shitstorm, people have had problems with their save files. So since they paid for their game, Phil should fix his game with a patch. Instead, he rejected patching the game, because fuck you guys it was too expensive.

Theory about the game

It has been theorized that the game is actually an insight into the autistic brain of Phil, showing off his massive ego and fragility to the world. The main character, Gomez, gains a magical Fez, which can grant the wearer insight into a new dimension, just as Phil hopes that he could put on a magic hat, and gain insight into the dimension known as reality. And just like Phil, Gomez should not face any adversity, so there are no enemies in this world. And just like the life of Phil, there is no interaction with females, as Phil had no idea how to code them.

Now also on Playstation

If you thought Phil and the rest of his cronies were done milking the ever-loving shit out of a game which was already more than a year old, you would be wrong. Because while Phil and the rest still hasn't gone around to fixing the many issues with the game, they have seen it fit to release the cock-drivel onto Playstation, because it didn't already have enough shitty games. And just to highlight how much they fucking despise you, they will even include it on the PS4, so the modern era console can run 1993 games, YEY. This is also much easier than to make a new game, when you have a grown man-child as a key member.

Fez For Playstation.jpg


Glitches

Besides being the hipster version of Cave Story, the game is of course riddled with bugs. 1% of gamers can't save their games. The amount of game breaking glitches is overwhelming, considering how easy the game was to make and took 5 years to develop.

 
 
We’re not going to patch the patch.

Why not? Because microsoft would charge us tens of thousands of dollars to re-certify the game.
And because as it turns out, the save file delete bug only happens to less than a percent of players. It’s a shitty numbers game to be playing for sure, but as a small independent, paying so much money for patches makes NO SENSE AT ALL.
 


 

Polytron, http://www.leftstickdown.com/2012/07/19/fez-update-polytron-says-were-not-going-to-patch-the-patch/

According to Quora, the game made more than $1,000,000. and it has sold more than a million copies to hipster faggots.

Here is a collection of some of the visual glitches.

Fez Glitch.png

Phil hates Japanese games

During a Q&A session, a wapanese video game developer went to ask Phil what he thinks of modern Japanese video games. The response wasn't shocking as he said the following:

   
 
"Your games just suck."
 

 
 

—Phil Fish

The amount of irony here is too strong, because since Japanese games suck of course Phil would copy a game from Japan, see how dumb that was? Why the fuck would you copy two games from Japan and then proceed to tell them that their games suck? Simple: it's because in Phil's world anything he creates is immediately perfect and has no problems, even if he ripped it off from something he hates.

But no guys we just got his comment all wrong, this is proof that Phil's a pussy and he tries to run away when cornered.


Difference between Pixel and Phil Fish

Version 1

Cave story vs fez.png


Version 2

Pixel and Bob.png


Phil leaves gaming

What people see when they enter the Polytron website.

Phil has gotten into many bitch fights but this one broke him down into the point where he emo quits the gaming industry, takes his company along with him, and cancels Fez 2. This of course led to butthurt from his fans since they anticipated the sequel to Fez.

What happened is that Game Trailers host Marcus "AnnoyedGamer" Beer and Fish got into an argument after Beer called Fish a "hipster," a "tosspot," a "wanker" and a "fucking asshole", then Fish told Beer "compare your life to mine and then kill yourself", asked for an apology, and the argument lead to Fish emoquitting the gaming industry. The word butthurt isn't even enough to explain his actions.

You can see his twitter fight here in chronological order:

Videos that summarize the event




Previous Video  |  Next Video

AnnoyedGamer's message to Phil Fish

Quotes

   
 
Gamers are the worst f***ing people.
 

 
 

—Phil Fish blaming gamers for criticizing him.

   
 
PCs are for spreadsheets.
 

 
 

—Phil Fish after being asked about releasing Fez on steam.

   
 
and im getting out of games because i choose not to put up with this abuse anymore.
 

 
 

—Phil believes that people who correct him are abusing him.

   
 
Just you wait and see, I am going to be the face of gaming! Just you fucking wait!
 

 
 

—Phil Fish stroking his ego further.

   
 
suck my dick. choke on it.
 

 
 

—An instant Classic

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Ways to troll Phil Fish

Leaked source code from every attempt Phil Fish has ever made at making a game.
  • Mention Cave Story.
  • Torrent his game, purchase Japanese game, send receipt and screenshot of torrent to his Twitter.
  • Say his game sucks.
  • Be Japanese.
  • Make an actual good video game.
  • Roleplay as him in Game Dev Tycoon, which is a blatant rip-off just like Fez, and send the video to him
  • Ask why Fez has such a mediocre rating on Metacritic by users, but great amongst "critics"
  • Mention that since the development of Fez began, Call of Duty was only at Modern Warfare 4.
  • Point out that World Of Warcraft released their first expansion same year as Fez was announced.
  • Tell him that it took less time to develop Skyrim.
  • Inform him that Fancy Pants Adventures, who won the Newgrounds game of the year award, the year after Fez was announced, is a bigger seller than Fez.
  • Remind him that a game with zero difficulty is not actually a game, but instead a pastime, like knitting.
  • Tell him to make Fez 2 for free

You make a Let's Play of Fez, you need to pay

So Phil, in his infinite wisdom, decided to go the route of Nintendo and claim that if you uploaded his "game" to YouTube and enabled ads, you owe him money. This is because this autist has already spent his money on kleenex for all the tears he cried when someone called him out on being a fucking hipster faggot. Of course people explained to him that nobody gave a shit, and they cared even less about his shitty creation. It all culminated in Phil having a hissyfit and closing his Twitter.

   
 
YouTubers should have to pay out a huge portion of their revenue to the developers from which they steal all their content.
revenue should be shared with developers. This should be built into YouTube. Anything else is basically piracy.

 

 
 

—Phil Fish before blocking his Twitter before closing it

   
 
If you generate money from putting my content on your channel, you owe me money. Simple as that.
If you buy a movie, are you then allowed to stream the entirety of it publicly for people to watch for free? No, because that's illegal.
Systems are in place to prevent that. But buy Fez, put ALL of it on YouTube, turn on ads, make money from it and that's TOTALLY FINE.
And the developer should in NO WAY be compensated for their work being freely distributed to the world. Right. Makes sense.

 

 
 

—Phil Fish before deleting his Twitter and crying

   
 
Sounds good Phil, just as long as you pay us royalties for every game sale generated by our free coverage.
 

 
 

TotalBiscuit calling out Phil in a tweet.


Phil Fish - Anita Sarkeesian Is A Hero.jpg

Remember kids if you make money doing let's plays you are a dirty stinking thief

But if you make money stealing from let's plays you are a hero




Previous Video  |  Next Video

Being hacked

One day Phil came out of his self-imposed exile from video games to white knight Zoe Quinn against a person she sexually harassed at a wedding they attended. This was obviously a great idea as can be seen from the fact his DropBox and website being hacked and all the information about his games, business dealing and the dox of everyone involved being posted, including SSN.

Some believe the hack was a false flag just like Zoe's was earlier that week, but anyone without their head up their own ass understands that isn't true. Nonetheless, in an effort to prove their own innocence and get Phil in trouble, multiple 4Chan users contacted the FBI to inform them of the hack. So we won't know what the truth is until either Phil gets a ride from the party van or one of the /v/ users gets taken away in cuffs after being snitched on by his own people.

Regardless of any of this, Phil went on a his most glorious rampage to date, calling people rapists and terrorists, before quitting gaming for the twenty-millionth time. Only this time he didn't only quit but put "Fez" up for sale.


   
 
Hello everyone, I am the head mod over at /V/ and leader of 4chan.org and Anonymous.* This public execution of Polytron and Phil Fish is retaliation for his attempted coverup of five guys burger and fries. Let this be a warning to all SJW game devs out there, we are coming for you. The hack of Zoe Quinn has already taken place as of a few days ago and I have targeted more SJW indie devs today.

My next target is Phil Fish. Karma's a bitch ain't it Phil?

We are /V/

We do not forgive

At all

 

 
 

 
 
What is inside this 1.5gb file?

Passwords of Polytron and Phil Fish
Phil Fish's address, government documents, social security information, bank information
Polytron financial information of sales and revenue
Polyron, Polytron and MORE POLYTRON! Remember to mirror the file and spread any information.
 

 



Phil Fish RIP Final Tweets.png

Goodnight, sweet prince.

Selling Fez

Due to his large amount of USI, Phil the retard thinks that his game is worth anything. And because he is tired of being the laughing stock of the internet, Phil is selling the IP of Fez for only 5,000,000,000,000,000,000 USD.

Phil Fish Selling Fez.png

What does he do now?

DJ Phil Fish.png
Djfish.jpg

Corruption

As a result of the documents leaked in the hack, Phil Fish has recently been accused of being part of a racketeering scheme to rig FEZ's early success at Independent Games Festival and IndieCade festival competitions. It seems that that investors in "Fez" were all judges at both these contests. The plan looks to have been to invest the money in the game, make a fake contest, pay Phil the prize money collected from people who actually paid $100 each to enter their game and then get back their investment money back from the profits "Fez" makes due to the publicity gained from winning.

Later, these allegations, though backed up with factual evidence, are of course untrue, because (as everyone knows) facts are both racist and sexist and if you believe in them you are obviously a mentally-impaired, mouth-breathing neckbeard.

Gallery

Looks like the fish got out of the water About missing Pics

See Also

External Links


Portal games.png

Phil Fish is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

SJW series.png

Phil Fish is part of a series on

Social Justice

Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

Video game controller nav.png#GamerGate SeriesVideo game controller nav.png



GamerGate Icon - New and Improved.png GamerGate
Zoequinnicon.pngZoe Quinn
 

IMC. Head.png Ian Miles Cheong

Fishface.png Phil Fish

MGGslogo.png m00t sells out

Tyler Malka Icon.png EviLORE


8chan logo.png 8chan

Wizardchanhat.png Wizardchan

Crackedicon.png Cracked

NeoGAFicon.png NeoGAF


Leigh Alexander Icon.png Leigh Alexander

AnitaIcon.png Anita Sarkeesian

Brianna Wu Icon.pngBrianna Wu

Chloe2.png Chloe Sagal/ Destructoid


Kotakuicon.png Kotaku

GawkerGGicon.png Gawker Media

Mno9logo.png Mighty No. 9

Gone Home Icon.png Gone Home


Moviebob.png Moviebob

Dobbo.png Tom Preston

Dodoria.png GamerGate Faggot Brigade

LeNoddingGuy.png Respectfully Nodding Guy


Skullicon.png Depression Quest Sim

Morezoe0.pngVivian James

Cathedral Of Misogyny Icon.png Cathedral of Misogyny

Kung fu guy10.png Kung Fu Guy



Other People and Sites That Got Involved:

People: Adam Baldwin, Joss Whedon, Hideki Kamiya, Boogie2988, JonTron, Egoraptor, Jonathan McIntosh, Chris Chan, DarksydePhil, Richard Dawkins, TotalBiscuit, Theamazingatheist, Thunderf00t, Jimbo Wales, Ryulong, Julian Assange, Randi Harper, Weev, Stephen Colbert, Gabe and Tycho, Maddox, Faggot Who Started OWS, Angry Joe, ToddInTheShadows/LordKat, JewWario, Andrew Hussie.

Sites: Reddit, IGN ,StormFront, The Escapist, Buzzfeed, Something Awful, 4chan, Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums, Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Other: Facade, GNAA,MSNBC/CNN/BBC etc, The Guardian, Electronic Arts, Intel, Adobe, Anonymous, Gamers, Everybody else on the internet and their dog.

<List of People to Email and Annoy With Your Bullshit>



Phil Fish is part of a series on

Independent Culture

Potato.png
Ideas Sites Music Movies and TV Shows Places People Misc
Featured article August 11 & 12, 2013
Preceded by
SysOp
Phil Fish Succeeded by
DotA
Featured article August 30th & 31st, 2014
Preceded by
Kotaku
Phil Fish Succeeded by
The Fappening
Personal tools
a
Spam ED Everywhere

Anonymous VPN



Find us on Google+
VPN Service