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DarksydePhil
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Every time Phil says something stupid, this timer will reset. |
| — DarksydePhil, sharing his endless wisdom on games. | ||
DarksydePhil
dspgaming, (Phillip Burnell), AKA the self-proclaimed "King of Hate" is the living embodiment of everything wrong with todays' gaming in video format and the arch-enemy of /v/ as well as a professional David Brent look-a-like. He also looks like a shaved bear with downs syndrome, but we cant decide which he resembles more.
He's known for being a hypocritical, money-whoring, borderline-retarded, obese, disgusting, misanthropic man-child with a fake crippled back who can't play games without being an insufferable cunt, even if his life depended on it. Oh wait, it actually does!
If Tom Preston is the king of delusional washout hacks and Chris-Chan is the king of basement-dwelling retards, DSP has to be the king of untalented, pathological liar scrubs with USI. Think ZackScott with greater Tourettes, poorer than you, double-standards copyright laws, and using the same inspiring gameplay strategies that your local virgin Youtube teenagers use with their webcams.
No matter how much you think you suck at video games, you will never be as big a scrub as DSP.
Click here to see how he mangles every single videogame - 'This Is How You Don't Play'
Rise to "fame"
| --->In case you're too lazy or too stupid to read.<--- A TLDR version by this gentleman |
At the end of 2008, with the advent of YouTube, Mr.Phil started recording videos of him playing Street Fighter 4 Online with a view on his TV, using a shitty camera.
More than 60% of the time he would get his ass kicked and lose the match. Now this wouldn't be anything special, if it wasn't for the fact that he acts like a complete mongoloid every time he plays, no matter if he's winning or losing. This attitude has not changed up to this day.
Once upon a time he won 4th place in a Street Fighter tournament that was using a broken PS1 port, placing underneath a threesome of Japanese otaku. Afterwards, he declared himself the "Top US Super Turbo player" (despite the absence of several big name players protesting the platform change) and the "King of Hate". The actual truth behind this name is, that the hosts of the tournament called Phil that way because he was one of those players that would smash his controller in anger, run out of the game booth screaming, with the controller cable sliding behind him on the floor. Or just plainly get annoying to a point where he is actually disqualified from playing. That one placing he won supposedly was his "lifetime achievement". Full story here
Ever since he started making videos, he uploaded about more than 28,000(!!!) videos on his channel
dspgaming and created countless other channels with thousands of videos to whore out as much money as possible from YouTube. If you ever searched for a Street Fighter gameplay video, chances are you came across this "King of Scrubs".

DSP is a Scrub
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Traits & Abilities
- Incredibly obnoxious voice.
- Constantly burps, snorts & farts while recording gameplay.
- Downright retarded.
- Constantly makes a PFFFFFFFTFTFTTF noise that makes you want to perforate your ear drums.
- Every time a woman shows up, be it a half-naked hooker or a well-dressed female scientist, he will ALWAYS start doing embarrassing sex jokes.
- Films both his tv and his computer screen for 3 years, because he is the laziest piece of shit known to man. He couldn't figure out how to use FRAPS and a microphone simultaneously. The viewer therefor has to deal with all the annoying room/controller/keyboard noises.
- No editing what so fucking ever.
- Wasting everyone's time and padding out his pre-streams with narcissistic bullshit stories about his boring ass life no one wants to sit through.
- Being a drama queen the size of Mount Rushmore.
- A first glance at his face will give you AIDS.
- Either grinds for pointless achievements, abuses known game bugs to make the game easier for him, or gets stuck at specific parts for hours that even the dumbest casual gamer could solve faster.
- Hates cut-scenes, always talks into or skips them.
- Ignores all hints and obvious signs.
- Doesn't give a shit about the story or world of a game.
- Has never said anything funny or interesting, EVER.
- Nothing is ever his fault.
Things he repeatedly spews out
- I'M PRESSING BUTTONS! - Him trying to do a combo or just basic moves in a game.
- I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! - Usually blames the game while randomly pressing buttons.
- I'M BLOCKING! - Wishful thinking.
- I DIDN'T DO THAT - Blatant lying
- CAN'T DO THAT! - Him, being too stupid to figure out a button combination.
- CAN'T DO ANYTHING (ABOUT THAT)! - Him giving up.
- OH MY GOD! - You'll hear him say this line more often than in all porn of the world combined.
- FUCKING ONLINE GAMING! - Him blaming lag for being total shit at a game.
- HE'S AWFUL! - Almost every time he says this line, combined with 'SCRUB', he gets his ass kicked.
- ONLINE PLAY ONLY THE SHITTY MAY APPLY! - Moments before getting pwned.
- FUCKING SCRUB! - He shouts this one as if he has tourettes.
- HAHAHA/AH-AH-AH! - Either laughing about his own terrible jokes (Note: He's always alone) or for no reason at all.
- OKAY - Words cannot describe how much this scrotum-faced retard uses this word. You will hear it in every second sentence when he tells every little detail about his life. OKAY!
- LITERALLY - He overuses this words when he tries to point out some "game bug" or something "unfair" happened to him ingame and he can't find other words to explain it.
- DEFINITIVE - How the fuck can a person overuse such a specialized word. There's a possibility that Dumbfuck-Phil has absolutely no idea what he's trying to say with this word, at all.
- THE BOTTOM LINE - Every time he tries to conclude his idiotic statements, you will hear this.
- WHAAAAAAT? - ...
DSP's brand of "humor"
DSP learned early on about "humor at the expense of others", but like with gaming, chose to skip the subtle nuances and basic guidelines and instead use whatever he thought was funny. Unfortunately for the world, what Phil thinks is funny is stupid beyond reason. Here's a list of it:
- Insult everyone unironically and claim it was just a joke. When comedians use humor at the expense of someone, they usually stick to political or celebrity satire, because the persons involved rarely find need to rebut jokes, and even then, any genuine insult is minimal. If they're bold, they may poke fun at people they know in their personal lives, or otherwise simply describe an undesirable type of person ambiguously enough that people that could be associated with the joke would be able to detach enough to be unoffended. Phil instead decides to openly troll entire races, cultures, countries, homosexuals, the opposite sex, and fanbases (including his own). If anyone takes offense to his humor, he actively mocks them for being butthurt. He has no remorse for what he says, no matter how many people it offends and will defend himself to the literal death.
- Obscenity and profanity without tact. Not much to say about this. If Phil can compare anything with the slightest chance of innuendo, he will make jokes about penises, boobs, sex, and the like. The chance of it actually being witty is nonexistent. He also believes if he says "fuck you" to something enough, that makes it funnier.
- Retard comparisons. If Phil can find a "joke" in saying something serious looks vaguely like something silly, often to the point of obscenity mentioned above, he will repeat it endlessly when possible.
- Singing like a dumbass. BA-NAH-NAH NYEOW-NYEOW, BA-NAH-NAH NYEOW-NYEOW. NAH-NAH NYAH-NYAH A-NAH-NAH NYAH-HYAH. It gets worse during his Kingdom Hearts playthrough. Brace your childhoods.
- Gratuitous game violence. DSP thinks being an asshole is funny, far past the point where the novelty would have worn off. In open world games like GTA, he takes a sick pleasure in being an absolute prick, no matter what the end result.
- Jokes about suicide and rape. There are no words. Except to say that none of them were funny.
- Laughing at his own jokes. Any person who enjoys a decent amount of comedy will tell you that laughing at your own jokes is a terrible habit that will end up ruining the impact of the joke itself. Phil has laughed at every form of his so-called "humor" listed above, including the offensive ones.
- Laughing at things that have no humor value to begin with. It's unclear if these moments are Phil laughing his retard hyena laugh for the events on screen, or if that's the sound of him literally dying inside.
DSP's audience is mostly comprised of tweens who haven't developed a proper sense of humor to move onto better channels with better wit. If children are our future, DSP is the Terminator of wiping out human decency. If you meet a fan who thinks DSP is entertaining, but hasn't been tainted by his terrible taste, show them some real comedy.
DSP the "Average Gamer" and his psycho analysis
DSP and PC Gaming
DSP money and Adblock
Kojima World Order
As you normally expect from a DSP video, he ignored every hint, made every obnoxious sex joke as many times as possible, and couldn't do the simplest Boss fights without taking several hours sometimes. He fucking sucked so bad at playing these games, it has become legendary.
Many trolls made fun of DSP which made him cry about it so much that he kept making videos about them. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the man who calls himself the KING OF HATE can't withstand hate. Some YouTube videos exposed every single problem in his MGS "Let's Plays".
He started with the second game and then the third and then he played the first Metal Gear Solid ... he sure knows when to pick up a series because it won't make any problems understanding the plot.
DSP Tries it
"DSP Tries It" is a pathetic attempt to show that DSP had a chance in life. This autistic, bum-tumbling, scrotum licking, necrophiliac is a complete fuckhole induced with a strange addiction and tendency of pissing people off and generally being an anus. Someone who is both complete shit at video games and a money-sucking fuckwit should not be allowed to have a YouTube channel. Who's idea was it to let a fat middle-aged pitiful excuse for a man "review" axe bodywash in the shower while playing with his own penis. This failed abortion should not let us know about his odd fetishes and anger-issue habits. It's that fucking simple, yet so fucking hard for him to understand.
When it's about food, he will talk out of his ass about vitamins, lettuce & nourishment, all while shoving down a greasy 1500 calories burger and eating with his mouth wide open and talking at the same time. Let's not forget the absolutely vile and loud munching noises.
When it's about normal items like a plunger, he will take years explaining incorrectly what it's good for and how it works and waste everyone's time.
When it's about hygiene products or his house tour ... even ogrish.com has less repulsive things to offer.
Videos of Phil's outstanding failures in life
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The "girlfriend"
Leanna "PandaLee" Hangen is an underage retard that Phil adopted from somewhere in Asia, and is now being used as his personal fuck-doll, when he isn't busy ejaculating to his own ego. Phil is actually old enough to be her dad, which would be physically impossible as Phil doesn't have any testicles, so adoption is the only solution for this fusion of retardation. UgandaLee also has a gaming channel, and if you thought that Phil was the most obnoxious person in the world... Well, he still is, but Leanna is a very close second. She is almost as big of a failure at playing video games as Pedophil. She was first shown in a valentine's video of DSP, where he presented her like a doll, which she basically is. Ever wondered why DSP is suddenly 100x times more of an annoying asshole than before? Turns out he's pussywhipped by this annoying bitch, mooching off his "e-fame" and bossing him around because he'll never do better. Also, she has a soap fetish.
Dumb as a brick and not even remotely visually appealing, PandaLee is a gold-digging, untalented, humorless, soulless monstrosity. She has about as much character as a braindead ghetto hooker. Since it is suggested that she's autistic, her state of mind is that of a 12 year old, except that she's also dead inside and has no skills or talents, whatsoever. If you ever see her show any sort of empathy or emotion, except for a pair of stupid hamsters, let us know.
Since she refuses to see the benefits of higher education, and hates the idea of spending her own money for college, the normal way out would be getting a job... well, not for her. PandaLee is too lazy / too fucking stupid to get a job of her own, so instead she relies on Phil giving her everything she wants, be it an entire fucking house in a gated community on the other side of the continent, ugly, expensive paintings, hamsters or just about anything. Her gaming channel is dead, yet she saw the need to get her own office in the same house for live streaming. This is funny, because her gaming PC was dead for over a year because she didn't find a way to repair the START BUTTON of the computer. It's very obvious that she has as much to do with gaming as DSP does with honesty.
Of course Phil white-knights her in his Kingdom Hearts stream when she starts a riot in his Twitch chat with her soap obsession and saying Kingdom Hearts is stupid(Still the same game Pedophil is playing, mind you, showing her true feelings for him as well), and she gets off scot-free, while at the same time cutting off his chat to sub-only (Which was pretty much no one, cause who subs on Twitch nowadays? And who pays to subscribe?) and the same people that held his hand throughout the game. Which pretty much meant the uber-scrub was on his own. See the proof in 1:04:40 of this video: http://youtu.be/2NF1TiLFX1Q?t=1h4m40s
| — Panda firing shots at pretty much every weeaboo and adding to her soap/moisturizing fetish. | ||
This whole trainwreck relationship is some kind of ungodly arranged marriage between a fat, greasy, italian New Englander who plays video games and wears cowboy hats and an attention whore who tries to combine cutesy with repeating another sex joke 5 times every 2 minutes. Basically, if Shane Dawson got a girlfriend, this would have been his match.
Aside from being a completely self-absorbed bitch and camwhore, nobody likes her. Nobody. Not even the DSP fans. If you want to piss off DSP, just say something bad about his prostitu... "girlfriend", and watch him explode.
![]() How Phil fell in love with her
![]() Like a pro
![]() How she treats Phil's friends
![]() Massaga five dorrah
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I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole
<a href="https://twitter.com/PandaLeeGames/status/436284485404196864"></a>
Gallery of a whore
| Confessions of a whore | About missing Pics | |||||
Fantards
Given this is the internet we're talking about, even the fat fuck has people that think he's the shit and gobble up everything he says. Some of them mimic him to the point where nobody is allowed to have laughs at the expense of a person denser than any black hole, so they take the ball away and go home. Here are two of them.
- "Eden's Cross" - the OG
Eden's Cross aka UmbranAlchemist is a white knight of the worst kind, defending Phil's every mouth diarrhea, up to and including Phil whining about his parents not buying him the first print of a toy... and yes, he argued about that shit in his thirties. Of course, everything that Eden seemed to have taken out of it was that parents aren't supposed to refuse you your wishes and blow sugar up your ass instead.
He gets a special mention because even Phil almighty in all his narcissism and need for attention told him to shut up. Great job there, buddy.
Another point of interest: He brags about his enrollment in animation school but spends 8 hours a day white knighting Phil and picking fights with weeaboos. Say hello to the next Tom_Preston!
- "KGhaleon" - Eden's Cross' Evolution

Eden's Cross was bad. KGhaleon was so bad Eden's Cross told him to stuff it and man up.
KGhaleon started like your average white knight, standing in for his Lord and Savior and missing the point of pretty much everything any of Phil's detractors have to offer. That alone wouldn't make him worth even a throwaway sentence, but then he went full retard.
While suffering of a period despite being a man, KG thought it'd be a brilliant idea to try and dox somebody from the brigade of people exposing his bullshit... by posting his IP address. Of course, when members of the KWO called him out on it, he deleted the tweet and called them hypocrites - because potentially revealing somebody's location is apparently on the same level as putting together some of Phil's gameplay footage for the lulz. Predictably finding no approval by the mean people on Twitter, Ghaleon took the war to Phil's forums - and was promptly called out there, too.
Yes, fans of the greasy pig thought KG's actions was bad for their image. Of course, instead of using his brains for five seconds and realizing he turned up the retard switch, he bawwwed for a bit and then ragequit the forums. He's also connected to several malicious hacking attacks against the KWO:
http://dspositive.tumblr.com/KG
Also, just to round up the loser quota, he's a brony and almost 30, thereby proving once more that merely being an adult on the internet doesn't prevent you from acting like a foulmouthed child on a sugar rush.
Honorable Mentions - Meet Phil's crew of white knights
- Timboslice - Confirmed racist homophobe who believes he has a moral high ground against's Phil's "no-life jealous tween haters" while using personal attacks as a form of argument. Quote: "Go back to Mexico, fag." He is no longer defending Phil thank God since he was fucked over by the manchild and has been calling him out on his bullshit since.
- Kamran Mackey - Squeaker supreme who believes Phil's $3000 PC should be capable of running games at 200fps. Poster boy for DSP's underaged audience.
- Micah Walbridge - Faceless opportunist white knight that interjects into Twitter conversations that he believes he can undermine people with 5th grade debate tactics and a belief that DSP is a good person who needs defending for the sake of being defended.
- WiseNate/KainBringingthePain - Two faced little cunt and one of the guys behind Gamer Talk Live who Phil told to go die once now trying to suck Phil's dick and even having a DSP emote when making his retarded, inbred hick ass known on the stream chat. Banned a fellow by the name Fred Fuchs prior to this and that also got him into a shitstorm.
- Jamie Scoins - Possibly one of the biggest sycophants of Phil ever. If Phil were to punch someone in the face and he tried to make up lies about it in one of his videos, it's 100% certain that Scoins would kiss Phil's ass 100 times over to the point of nausea. He blindly agrees with everything Phil does no matter what like a sheep.
- Thedoctor5437 - A Dr. Who fanboy who white knights Phil 24/7 and even tried to copy him in some of his piss poorly made, shitty ass videos on YouTube. Can't even fucking cook pork for shit let alone make anything edible for a cat to eat. Gave one of his awful looking meals "tree" out of five making him a bigger retard than Phil normally is.
- icureditwithmybrain - One of Phil's most prolific bootlicking mods and drones. He's a manbaby who literally has 0 fucking life outside of having his whole world revolve around modding for Phil and only made his Twitter page to tweet shit to Phil. That's pretty pathetic even for a fanboy and really shows how much of a mancrush he has on the pig. Even after all that drama that went on over at The King of Hate Forums, the guy decided to continue to stick to Phil like glue.
- GamerJLee - Everybody has atleast one redneck, backwater fan. This is DSP's! Being the whiteknight he is, he posted a video defending DSP and really sticking it to the h8rz and then promptly took it down because everyone made fun of his speech problem. Not to be "tooken" seriously.
- averagegamer277 - Poster boy for DSP fans. Got rekt by some dudes on twitter after he was found riding the DarkSydePenis. Average describes him perfectly.
DSPColapes
The manchild dun goofed badly in just one week. Let's recap all the dumb shit that this retard ended up doing in the fall 2014, there's enough content for a whole book to be written about just how badly DSP fucked up. But since every wiki-reader is a TLDR faggot, we go straight to the point.
In a nutshell:
1. Getting caught playing WWE Supercard and arguing with people on the 2K Forums rather than "stirring the sauce" as the dumb fuck would put it.
2. Pissing off all of his mods in the process by deciding to destroy his whole Twitch.tv community just so he could stream his shitty, quality "kaaantent" on YouTube at 1080p / 60 fsp, taking the lazy way out instead of trying to edit his garbage. Subsequently, the mods decided to walk out on him after the pig broke the agreement that they made by banning one of the mods on the website. Then, as a result of someone taking over the website and demoting the greasy bastard, Philly Boy gets banned from his own forums and gets rekted so much in a single night faster than you can say "salsa verde." Of course, a fantard by the name of The Mighty Onyx helped Phil regain control of the website and shut it down and now it's under reconstruction unfortunately. In the meantime, they're using a really outdated IRC chat from the 1990s as a replacement for the stream chat on Twitch where you can see the IP addresses of others and where you can find maximum asskissing, minimum truth. On top of that, the manchild set up a decoy stream chat on YouTube for all the "haters" to go to while still banning people there who call him out on his shit for the sake of getting more views on his videos. Good going, you dumb fuck.
3. Disabling the chat on YouTube
4. STILL blaming everyone under the fucking sun for his misfortunes, especially with what happened on the King of Hate Forums.
5. Stealing paid Twitch's subscribers hard earned money and not bothering to give them a goddamn refund, further exposing himself as the con man he is.
6. Unfollowing John Rambo on Twitter after not being invited to Rambo's podcast. The worst part about this is that the inconsiderate asshole decided to unfollow him on Thanksgiving, confirming that they've parted ways for good.
Have fun working at Burger King and filing for bankruptcy after this, you disgusting pig. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?
Conclusion
Gallery
| A fistful of scrubbiness | About missing Pics | |||||||||
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DSP experiences bugged satire mechanics
Old Dox
These are not relevant anymore, but we'd still like to show you what he paid for the old condo.
Property Value:
Estimate: $124,350
Rent Estimate: $1,127/mo
New Dox
He's trying to pay off a 1,500,000 mortgage with Adsense & Twitch. Yeah, good luck with that, you dumb fuck.
See Also
- Street Fighter - The game that made him infamous.
- Let's Play - The cancer that is killing gaming.
- Video Game Reviewers - Another bandwagon Phil tried to jump on.
External Links
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dspgaming - His main channel. Don't forget to use an Adblocker.
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DSPcultleader - An archive of DSPs' fuck-ups, taken long before this article was conceived.
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TheyCallMeDSP - Twitter account where he whines a lot.
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The CWC Wiki Thread - Yes, even the Chris-Chan stalkers have a thread about him.
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DarksydePhil is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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DarksydePhil is part of a series on Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article August 10th & 11th, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by BLACKB0ND | DarksydePhil | Succeeded by K-On! |
| Featured article September 28 & September 29, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by Atheist | DarksydePhil | Succeeded by The xchan effect |













