Plan9

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See also: fugly.
Glenda will haunt your dreams.

Plan9 is an operating system developed by the same people who made UNIX, primarily because they felt that UNIX had become too mainstream and was no longer cool. Its mascot is some sort of weird bunny thing.


Origins

The first version of Plan 9 was written last thursday in the bowels of Bell Labs. It was the final and most successful attempt at creating an operating system to successfully keep mankind from making sunlight explode (plans 1-8 were miserable failures). Its creators decided to improve upon the capabilities of UNIX, namely as they realized that the huge, inefficient mainframes they all loved were being obsoleted in favor of smaller desktop computers and 1337 h4x0r could use to pirate music and DDoS Web sites. Plan 9 was the natural next step, as it allowed many of these new computers to be mercilessly tied together to run as a beloved mainframe.

Features

Plan 9 has many features:

  • rio. Plan 9's GUI, rio, is the most advanced GUI ever created. It combines the things that make UNIX users shout with glee (the command line, scripting, etc.) with the things that make Mac OS X users wet their pants (windows, pointers, etc.). All other operating systems strive to have a GUI as intuitive, durable, and powerful as rio. If a Mac user tells you otherwise, it is a lie.
  • Distributed resources. Plan 9 allows you to share everything on your computer - files, hardware, and all - easily over the network. Thus, it allows your computer to rape and be raped in ways never before possible.
  • Rational thought. Though sentience had been a prominent feature in UNIX since 1979, Plan 9 improved upon this by allowing the computer to think rationally and creatively. Thus, whenever using Plan 9 one must imagine all text as being spoken in a sophisticated British accent.
  • Web browser. It does have one.

Prominent Users

In general, Plan 9 is used by as many as 17 people worldwide. Despite the operating system's numerous advantages, their primary motivation is to be able to one-up everyone else in OS flame wars.

Use By Anonymous

Recently, Anonymous has taken an interest in Plan 9, with many a thread in 4chan's /g/ being created on the subject. It is unclear as to why so many anons have been taking to the system; one theory is that they are trying to created a new, totally distributed chan on the Interweb. More likely, they just want easy access to each other's porn. It is also possible that the distributed nature of Plan 9, with a system using resources from many others over a network, reminds a lot of /b/tards of tentacle porn.

See Also

External Links

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