Planetside 2

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Planetside 2: Electric Boogaloo, which has also been referred to as Clusterfuck: The Game is an awesome free-to-play MMO FPS developed by the prestigious employees of Sony Online Entertainment who have created similar gems such as the Everquest series, DC Universe Online and Free Realms just to name a few of these pieces of shit only a virgin basement-dweller like yourself would ever consider touching. Resurrected from the decaying remains of its predecessor, John Smedley released the game, with only its large, clusterfuck battles with hundreds of other retards to be the unique selling point of the game.


Firstly, a history lesson, Planetside 1 was released at least 100 years ago and similar to its sequel with its unique selling point being that you can engage in large scale battle with hundreds of other retards and the fact that the game is complete and utter shit and dysfunctional as an average nigger's family. Nothing of value was ever in its place, move on.

This Should Be Enough Evidence To Show You What You Were Missing Out On

The Story

Obligatory Rule 34.

Planetside's lore is great and expansive in which the plot revolves around three major factions on the planet of Auraxis where their soldiers engage on a daily planet-wide orgy and monumental clusterfucks can be seen from as far as the eye can see. The planet was originally discovered after a wormhole that opened and closed every so often nearby earth led to Auraxis, so humans, being the complete fucktards that they were, decided to send out a group of ships to go through the wormhole, resulting in it unexpectedly closing after the ships had gone through, much to the surprise of everyone. So the humans, after realising that they had completely fucked themselves over, decided to find another planet where they would settle and then proceed to begin the planet-wide orgies after the emergence of two other factions, leaving all three of the factions to fuck each other the hardest in the pursuit of the planet's precious resources (The resources are infinite).

The Factions

The three factions that fight over control over Auraxis and for the sake of large, gay orgies are as listed, with accompanying videos released by SOE with the same message of 'Join us so you can become a faggot'.

  • Vanu Sovereignty: The Vanu Sovereignty are the third faction in Planetside and automatically win the position for the most batshit insane. First founded by an asspie (srsly), the Vanu Sovereignty worships Aliens and definitely isn't like Scientology at all. The Vanu Sovereignty's weapons fire plasma because they probably have disfigured dicks or, like the previous two factions, suffer from the lulzy effects of a small dick. The Vanu's vehicles were advertised to be able to hover, but because SOE is unsurprisingly fucking lazy, only one of the Vanu vehicles actually hovers. The rest of their vehicles are just copypasta of the other two factions.

Tl;dr: SOE is fucking lazy and all the factions have small dicks, which is ironic considering the fact that the tag-line of the game is 'Size Always Matters'.


Planetside 2's gameplay is just like every other shitty modern FPS in which you point at things you don't like until they go away. The main objective of Planetside 2 is to cooperate with team mates to capture strategic points around the continent to secure victory for your faction. And what I really mean is just fuck around with all your mongoloid team mates to fight for hours with mongoloid fucktards of the opposing team in one small area of the map, disregarding the main objective because you're too busy sucking a dick during the clusterfuck. We here at ED suggest that the best course of action for playing this game is to make your character an hero immediately once you're playing the game, then getting off your computer and going an hero IRL for being such a dickless faggot for playing the game.

Common Sights You'll See While Playing The Game

The Planetside 2 Playerbase

While playing Planetside 2, it's recommended that you get well acquainted with the playerbase which is listed below:

A typical Planetside 2 player.
  • Asspies.
  • Faggots.
  • Losers.
  • Basement Dwellers.
  • Retards.
  • Internet tough guys.
  • Outcasts from /v/.
  • Prepubescent 13-year-old fucktards who need to act out their war fantasies.
  • Black people with nothing better to do. In other words, niggers.
  • AFK.
  • Gamer Girls who want to show how nerdy and cool they are by playing video games.
  • Little shits usually around the age of 6, who have wet dreams over military games and think they're an expert on everything in the game.
  • Griefers who counter balance all the faggotry in this list by pissing off the mentioned groups of people for public humiliation and lulz.
  • You.


He will fucking kill you in the face.
  • Light Assault: The Light Assault is your average soldier wielding a gun to make up for small dick size. The only thing that makes playing this class worth playing is the fact that he's got a motherfucking jetpack which he can use to fly and do Hitler's good work by burning Jews by an alternative way. If you can actually manage to play the game long enough without going an hero, you can unlock C4 which you can use to fly over tanks and drop the C4 on and detonate it, making a virgin basement-dweller much like you, piss their pants in rage.
  • Heavy Assault: The Heavy Assault class have the same physical properties of your average American, being that they're much heavier than the rest of the world around them and move much slower as well, though that just because Americans are fat fucks while Heavy Assault classes are clad in armour, though another similarity is that they're both as fucking stupid as each other. People who use this class are usually pants-on-head retarded due to there being literally no skill used to play this class as the class's loadout consists of a LMG and a fucking Rocket Launcher.
  • Engineer & Medic: The Engineers & Medics of Planetside 2 are very similar classes to each other in which they both have magic tool gun that you just point at something until it gets better. How do these tools work? Because fuck you, science, that's why. People who play Medics and Engineers are like Heavy Assault player due to that fact that they are also pants-on-head retarded, only doing things when they want to, and looking at the textures of the ground when actually needed.
  • Infiltrator: Infiltrators are probably the least noteworthy class. Their abilities range from Sniping and hacking, and nothing else. If you play this class, you should go an hero for being such a dull faggot.
  • MAX: MAX's are fucking badass. They are covered in armour and have mounted guns on each arm that will fucking kill you in the face. Nothing more needs to be said.


  • Sunderer: The Sunderer, which has also been referred to as the Party Van is only used because it can used to be a mobile spawning station which can lead to lulzy arguments involving a group of fucktarded morons on the same team fighting to get their Sunderer deployed first which almost always results in butthurt and rage.
  • Tanks: The Lightning and Empire Specific Tanks are just there to run team mates over for great justice and rage. However, when used in a fight are as useful as a starving African child, as when you enter enemy territory, you'll be almost immediately face fucked by Heavy Assault troops and MAX's.
  • Empire Specific Air Fighter: Empire Specific Air Fighters are used under the clever guise of using them to fight the enemy, but are really used for Allah's army for the great act of jihad. Expect to see most ESAF's crashing into the enemy for get their 42 virgins in Heaven. They are also unbalanced as fuck.
  • Liberator & Galaxy: The Liberator and Galaxy are basically just airborne versions of the Sunderer with the Jihad properties of the ESAF being that a group of fucktards pile into the aircraft which then crashes within a few seconds of take off because no one can fly in this game as all the players are fucking retarded.


Of course SOE had to make precious jew golds somehow, so they they introduced microtransactions for virgin basement-dwellers to stock up on so they can show all their online Planetside 2 circlejerk buddies how cool they are with all the armour, camouflage and weapons that they bought. Since this is the Planetside 2 playerbase, it should come to a surprise to no one that some fucking idiots actually spend over $5.00 in making themselves their own special snowflake by buying themselves camouflage which makes them look slightly different.

The Planetside 2 Forums

Glancing into Planetside 2's playerbase, one can find a vast ocean filled with autistic dumbfucks who spout any retarded thought that comes into their head. So Sony Online Entertainment, upon witnessing this spectacular of fucktardery came to the conclusion that the best way to receive their fans feedback isn't through sending calm, collected, private messages detailing the problems with the game, but rather setting up an open forum for all the autistic dumbfucks to communicate with each other and spout their retarded bullshit. Usually, this leads to lulzy arguments between Planetside 2 fantards over trivial bullshit while the rest of us look from above like watching animals from the zoo. Tl;dr, the Planetside 2 forums is cancerous tumour that needs to be destroyed with all its users.

Gallery of Fucktardery About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Station Cash

Started back in the days of Everquest, 'Station Cash' was obtained by using IRL money. Making a return in Planetside 2, yet again, managed to piss off their autistic fanbase, with many threatening to leave, but like before, never left and just stayed, silently bitching about it. You may be asking yourself at this point what you can do with station cash? And if you did ask that question, you're a faggot who should become an hero for even considering to ask that question in the first place, but to answer the question, you can buy cosmetic items that make you look different in comparison to everyone else, and guns that look and act slightly different to each other. In the end, SOE still manages to accumulate their jew golds as their retarded dumbfuck fantards continue to purchase their precious Station Cash.

Gosh Dern Hackers

In the midst of all this faggotry, a brave few triumphed, managing to make the entire Planetside 2 community more butthurt than 1man1jar. Wielding the majestic abilities of hax0rs, these heroes caused all they encountered to piss and shit themselves simultaneously in rage upon witnessing their powers. Many fucktarded fans then took to the forums once more, expressing their anger in a myriad of retardedly written posts, as if SOE gave an ounce of a fuck. However, in an attempt to quell the butthurt fantards rage, John Smedley tweeted that they were going "hunt down" hackers, though said hackers still continue to spread lulz to this day.

John Smedley, attempting to be an internet tough guy.

Vehicle Horns

In an attempt to get their hands on even more jew gold, decided that the fastest way was to fuck their autistic dumbfuck fanbase out of their money by introducing a new item to the virtual marketplace, vehicle horns. As we all know, SOE is fucking lazy, so they released the said vehicle horns for the low, low price of $6.50, even though the horn didn't make any visual changes to your vehicle and just played a sound. However, in a shocking turn of events, the fantards were able to see through this, and took to the forum, declaring their outrage in forum posts that looked like they'd been typed by a blind, quadruple amputee.

If anyone actually takes the time to look it all over it has some **** pricing for both certs and mainly Money....or station Cash...

For one Horns have No use...and they charge 650 SC for em......they should be 150......

then We have items that are 500 certs.....but cost 750 Sc ? and then ones that are 1000 certs and also cost 750 sc..

Oh and then the 250 certs is 500 SC...

The games market is a rip off. Yeah they need money Understand able to to charge what they are for some of the ****.....Its steeling.



—notw2, being a typical Planetside 2 player.


This faggot actually thought this looked cool.

Unsurprisingly, not only are the developers over at Sony Online Entertainment complete and utter flaming faggots, but their players are also gigantic deviant homosexuals too, with one particular player under the alias of "BuzzCutPsycho" displaying unprecedented levels of faggotry, the likes of which the MMOFPS world has never seen before, gaining him notoriety all throughout the Planetside 2 community. 'Buzz', as he affectionately named by his fellow players, was the leader of one of the most prominent 'outfits' in Planetside 2, which are essentially 3P1C 1337 CL4N5, BR0, but somehow even more fucktarded.

However, because life isn't fair, 'Buzz', showed signs of and probably was Autistic, and so, as a result, whenever things didn't go his way or went against him, he was prone to throwing tard rages like no other, and occasionally launching into racist tirades as a result; some of which were recorded in the name of the lulz and then quickly posted to JewTube, where they'd be subsequently discovered by the BIDF, who would use cut throat tactics to send a message to the uploader, such as, dislike the video and comment that they were "stupid", all in the name of their glorious leader, of course.

But ultimately, BuzzCutPsycho's autism caught up with him in the end as he finally rage quit the game due to the developers fucking up the game, which really shouldn't have surprised him judging from SOE's shitty track record, and also because they failed to listen to their playerbase's ideas and feedback, which also shouldn't have surprised him as you'd have to go pants-on-head retarded to think that SOE gives a shit about your opinion. But before he quit, he left a farewell message for his supporters, which can easily be summarised as him deepthroating his own tiny, smelly chode and telling everyone how great he is, despite reality suggesting otherwise.

BuzzCutPsycho's Farewell Message To Planetside 2

Use scrollbar to see the full text

The video I put on Twitch was made to address my following on Twitch; not The Enclave and not the Planetside 2 community.

The Twitch community was a big part of my gaming experience. They would participate with the stream, randomly follow the outfit around on ops, and join “stream teams.” They were just as important to me as The Enclave and I felt obligated to let them know I was leaving and why I was leaving.

I stopped streaming because my stream was meant to be a Planetside 2 stream. I have no interest to promote other content now that The Enclave has officially left Planetside 2. I really wanted Planetside 2 to be the best game it could be and I wanted to help promote it. I had a lot of help from SOE coming into my stream and it just wouldn’t feel right to stream other content.

I also wanted to elaborate on some of the points I touched upon in the video addressed to my streaming fans. Essentially, the primary reason why The Enclave is leaving Planetside 2 is because Planetside 2 lacks a true endgame.

Many of my detractors are echoing a chorus of “Of course he’s burnt out! He’s plays way too often!” That is simply not the case; I played Planetside 1 just as much and for a longer period of time; almost two years. I played World of Warcraft for nearly seven.

These games both had one thing which Planetside 2 unfortunately lacks: purpose.

I shouldn’t even need to point this out; we’re always talking about the lack of purpose in Planetside 2 in these forums and elsewhere, and yet it has to be pointed out again and again. In Planetside 1, you would log on, push a continent, and find a purpose for what you were doing. In other words, there was an actual chance of pushing an enemy off of the continent and claiming it for your empire; there was an actual impetus to do what was necessary to kick your foes out and move on to the next battlefield.

We don’t have anything like that in Planetside 2 and the game suffers for it. We all know it.

Eventually, you get tired of pretending that what you’re doing matters. It’s a mindless Team Death Match. If I wanted mindless TDM I’d play Battlefield 4 -- which enjoys better gun-play, graphics and stability -- it’s a no-brainer. In fact, that’s what I’m planning on doing. I’m not saying I’ll play Battlefield 4 forever, but I want that shooter itch to get scratched and Planetside 2 can’t accomplish that.

If Planetside 2 ran better and possessed better gun-play then one could overwrite the fact that there is no purpose to the game, but that we all understand that this is not the case and I certainly shouldn’t have to point it out for people to realize this.

Game Update 11 wasn’t the game-breaker for me, what really did it were the alerts. Since they were introduced, they’ve been nothing but a band aid fix to get people fighting on other continents. This temporary poultice was fine pre-lattice but, now that we have lattice, we are at the mercy of the alert system during our operations. The bandage is causing harm as it determines whether or not we can find a damn fight.

Alerts ship everyone to another continent, often locking many of our guys out and have the stupidest criteria: “Capture 9 Biolabs,” is just one example of a broken system which has caused us to cancel ops early many times. What little objectives we were able to create for ourselves in this game have been shattered by this alert system. Combined with the balance this game has been suffering from, the alert system has been causing ennui and a desire, in a lot of The Enclave, to play something else.

Speaking of Balance, it’s been awful in Planetside 2. What’s more, it’s not merely overpowered weapons -- which are in themselves a problem -- but the way that SOE creates a “flavor of the month” new weapon in the cash shop that is overpowered and then go around and nerf that weapon into the ground while simultaneously creating a new overpowered weapon for players to spend money. This ring-a-round weapon buff/nerf cycle is bad enough in a normal game, but in an MMO which uses a free-to-play model, it’s downright disastrous.

As just one example of too many to list for this cycle, we went from HE farming in tanks to that being nerfed into the ground just in time for Harasser farming with the fury. In essence, you go from the most powerful weapon to the next new powerful weapon while the old one is made inferior. I found myself doing this with a staggering assortment of infantry weapons, weapons I recommended to my entire outfit. We went from one piece of equipment to the next, but it’s not that they don’t just make something better, they nerf the old equipment into the ground.

Again, this wouldn’t be as big of a problem if this game wasn’t free-to-play -- but it is. For me, it’s "just money" and I paid without complaint; I wanted to support this game as much as possible. Unfortunately, most people don’t feel that way nor should they. Spending real money on a weapon in order to be effective only to see that weapon nerfed into the ground is transparently “Pay-to-win,” for all to see; an important point I touch on in the stream is how I feel about resources and how they’re being converted into a “pay to win,” scheme.

Game Update 11 also came with resource changes no one asked for and no one wanted, and yet it came in anyway. It came in without any testing whatsoever and the effects are discernibly detrimental.

Tanks, ESF’s, etc., cost too many resources; the only reason they brought this in was to monetize. Previously, who was it exactly who spent money on resource boosters? The answer, unsurprisingly for the state of resources back then was no one. This is why the change was brought in.

At their best, resources are annoying. At their worst, resources simply don’t matter. As they are now, they’re annoying. If you don’t have a booster and have fun flying around or using a tank, you’re going to be shit out of luck and at a huge disadvantage to a guy who possesses one -- that guy is paying to win.

If you want to make resources matter, you have to make vehicles more powerful to make them worth the annoyance; that’s the road to pay to win. You’re opening the game up to be pay to win but the alternative is for resources to be worthless. We’ve never liked it: the resource system never made sense and now it only serves to annoy players who enjoy the game’s vehicular aspects over all else. Put quite simply, it’s a legacy system that SOE was having a hard time getting rid of. Though, to be fair, they probably don’t want to as they plan to monetize it.

You’ll notice that they also want to sell us implants; they’re talking about implants as consumable items (such as in World of Tanks). It’s redundant to have resources and acquisition timers and yet they’re planning on not only keeping both systems (with upgrades), but monetizing them. I can see where this is going. Just look at KDR. No one wanted KDR to be monetized but they’re planning on doing it anyway.

Despite all this about the cash shop, the most atrocious imbalance yet has been the ZOE max.

Unfortunately the ZOE max was introduced when lattice was introduced. The reason this is an important relation is the effect it had on people's desire to play the game. Before Lattice, we’d typically run with around eight to ten squads a night for operations. When lattice was introduced, enough interest had been built up that, I shit you not, we fielded eighteen full squads; these were launch day numbers for The Enclave. People came back hoping that the game had changed enough where they could enjoy it again.

Unfortunately, that same lattice patch was introduced alongside ZOE. The most game-breaking and disgusting balance problem in this game caused many people to get sick of Planetside 2 for entirely new reasons.

- AA murders the sky, with ZOE. - AV levels armor with ZOE. - AI clears out entire squads with ZOE.

In a game with a short TTK like this, having such an ability is a terrible idea. It’s worse than the BFR’s of old because anyone can pull a MAX suit at nearly anytime. If the Terran Republic version, lockdown, had a similar ability to completely wreck opposition like it did in Planetside 1 it would also be damaging to this game. This game simply can’t support that kind of ability in its current form. As a result, we went from eighteen daggers a night to worse than pre-lattice numbers of seven or eight.

What’s truly aggravating about ZOE is that we had warned SOE about this when we helped out on the test server. When practically no one else would help out, The Enclave tested on that server. We had to split the outfit up into two opposing platoons to test everything and what we immediately found out was that ZOE was ridiculous.

We warned about Higby about this but we were ignored; it went live unchanged and ended up being catastrophic for the game.

People quit the game because of this; I noticed a huge turnover – I couldn’t keep them in the game for the life of me. Keep in mind, they weren’t quitting The Enclave; we’re a community. They had been playing the game for operations, for the community, up until this time.

Regrettably, large portion of our ops went from being about pushing a lane and winning a fight to just trying to set up a fight. We’d push empty lanes in order to attempt to force an enemy to deal with us just so that we could fight them there. We’d spend time ghost-capping, an activity which rivals active duty military work in sheer boredom, just to get enemies back into a continent and get a fight. We’d herd enemies into a bio-lab just so that we could get a bio-lab crash going.

In essence, we had to manipulate the game into getting us a fight because the mechanics of the game actively worked against finding those fights. I was literally spending more time trying to get my guys entertained than actually playing the game. Sometimes, we’d finally get a fight, crush them, and then they’d be gone along with the night’s fun.

This touches on something I wanted to address: a big portion of our critics make noise about the fact that we’d send all of our guys to one base and overwhelm it. It’s true. We’d look for fights that started off as either equal or outnumbered for our side and then drop en masse, but the thing is, Planetside 2 requires this behavior because of the dumb-downed redeploy system. Galaxies, transports and all logistics are completely worthless because the game has been dumbed down for the lowest common denominator.

If you watched the steam, you know how we made use of it. It took four months for the people watching us to figure it out, but none the less, they have. Basically, we end up flooding all of our guys into one base’s spawn room after the base is, for all intents and purposes, cleared of friendlies by enemy forces.

Back when lattice came out, we’d split our squads up across multiple lanes much as we did in the early days of the hex system when we actually put up with ghost capping for a time, but the way redeploy works now makes this actually worse than our famous Drop Pod re-secures via instant action. People hated when we did this and we did too. In fact, I actively campaigned against it.

This is worse; you re-deploy from a base and push out of the spawn room because of a retarded redeploy and reinforcements needed system. As a result, you will find us all sitting at the same base waiting for it to completely flip before moving on to the next fight. It’s a lack of challenge and it’s boring. The absolute lack of challenge in this game, for The Enclave, doesn’t stop there: it stems from the Planetside 2 community as well. I would make the case that the various outfits who fought us in this game were of such little challenge that it lead to boredom. I can safely say that, in every game we have ever played, we have always been an absolute dominant force without equal. Night after night we would stomp people. We never lost.

We always came back and we always took what we wanted to, and we did this night after night. Eventually, it got to the point where we’d drop into a base and everyone would simply leave. I don’t blame them. At that point, it was clear that there was no reason to fight, we had everything so refined we had it down to a science.

What’s truly astonishing is that we streamed our operations for all to see night after night, and yet no one could figure out how to stop our outfit. Entire alliances would form to stop us and yet they still couldn’t accomplish this. We’d develop a new tactic or demonstrate the usefulness of a new weapon and it would take months for the rest of the game to catch on and still they couldn’t stop us.

So they just leave. They don’t fall back and regroup at the next hex, they don’t organize a counter-attack, they no longer co-ordinate with other outfits to take the fight to us.

They just leave.

“Why are you complaining about that?” As cool as that might sound, capturing a hex which is devoid of resistance is not fun. These same people who would flee our presence in game cry and whine but can never challenge us within the game. Hell, they’d even attempt to fight us outside the game and continue their tradition of losing on that front as well.

We had the exact same problem in World of Warcraft. We came to a server which was legendary for its world PvP legacy and expected lots of competition. We found that competition at the start, but we ended up stomping them so often that they became, for lack of a better word, domesticated.

The same thing has happened in this game; we have domesticated Planetside 2.

I feel ultimately that ZOE affected the short term, lack of challenge both from game mechanics and the community affected the long term, but the over-riding nature of playing a game entirely devoid of having a purpose is the real cause for The Enclave’s desire to leave; they simply did not want to play such a game anymore.

A lot of people are saying “He’ll be back,” and there is indeed a chance that I will be back, but it’s going to take drastic changes; I simply don’t see that happening in the near future. Planetside 1 had the same cycle, but by the time they made it a better game, it was already a game that no one cared about anymore.

For me to come back, it’s simply going to have to be more like Planetside 1 than Planetside 2 currently is and it has to happen before the game loses all relevancy. As it stands, you’ll eventually have a small niche group of people combined into one server, just like Planetside 1. As a start, you’ll probably see Waterson merged with Matherson while your populations will likely drizzle down to the point where even that is merged with others until you’re down to that one server.

I know that they’re holding off on merging Waterson and Matherson because they claim that they don’t have enough room on the servers, but I don’t buy that because there’s only ever one pop-lock a night. Supposedly, the servers can support 2000 people per continent, but I’m sure that’s been lowered at some point; as a matter of fact, we’ve tested this and I am personally willing to bet they’ve lowered it from 666 per faction per continent, but I digress.

The point is, I probably won’t be back.

The future of The Enclave is pretty bright. We wanted Planetside 2 to be a game we would be playing for years to come, but we have other options. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we are a gaming community that has never been bound to the games we play. We don’t just play one game, stick to it, and then dissolve when the game dies.

When you join The Enclave, you join a community that has been growing steadily since its inception in 1998. We started in Rainbow Six and have made lots of friends and even more enemies. Our core group grows from game to game and it will continue to do so even now. I am disappointed that Planetside 2 didn’t last long: only six months (a year if you want to get technical with tech test), but we have other games to move on to.

In the short term we’ll play Battlefield 4. It’s not going to be super serious, just fun. At least in Battlefield 4 we can expect a game where we know what the objectives are, can run it stably, and can enjoy tighter game-play.

In the long term, we’re currently looking at Wildstar. We’ve been playing shooter games for almost three years now and Wildstar holds some promising PvP mechanics that might offer up a nice change of pace for us. I plan on bringing The Enclave over to Wildstar if that game is good, but time will tell and there are other options on the horizon.

People might look on the outside and say, “those guys are just numbers to Buzz! They’re just being used!” This community has not thrived as long as it has for anything as trite as a personal aggrandizement scheme. The Enclave is a community of friends who enjoy playing games together.

I was reading the forums and the threads there always do amuse me; I do like a good read and have had quite a few. One of the common themes I see is best expressed by the following thinking:

“AH HA! Not all six hundred members of The Enclave are going to quit Planetside 2!” No, technically, not all six hundred members are going to entirely quit Planetside 2, but the vast majority are leaving with many having left long ago. Again, this is a community; a lot of people who stuck with the game for the last six months only continued to do so because of official operations with the rest of the outfit.

Look at Matherson’s population; every night we’d have eighty to a hundred people, but those people would proceed to immediately log off after operations were concluded and the population numbers relayed that. These people weren’t playing Planetside 2 for Planetside 2 -- they forced themselves to play a game they didn’t like because it was one of a handful of games that allowed us all to play with each other. So no, not all six hundred or members of The Enclave will entirely quit Planetside 2, just like there are some members who still play Battlefield 3 and World of Warcraft.

When the primary response to the official decision to leave Planetside 2 is excitement, it’s a strong indicator of how many want to keep at it. People are HAPPY and RELIEVED to leave Planetside 2. That’s an awful sign when people are happy to quit a fucking videogame.

In a way, I feel bad that they were playing for me, for ops. Again, they played to play with the community. I’m not shocked, however, this has happened before and it’s a sign that we should have quit long ago.

With all that said, I do not regret my time in PS2. I went into PS2 promising that my outfit and I would be the best. We delivered.

Our outfit decimated the competition; I became the #1 player and remained there #1 player since launch. My outfit is the pinnacle of power, organization and skill. We destroyed our enemies and made the best of a game that’s sole redeeming factor was its ability to let 200+ people work together on my Teamspeak server under my leadership. My stream, hijinx and all, gave over a million unique viewers a view of the game’s potential. When it became clear that that potential was not going to turn into reality, we beat the game itself.

We will move on and like I said I have no plans to consider returning nor do I, at this time, ever want to. Despite rumors you may hear concerning myself and my outfit, you won't see any of us going on and encouraging mass organized harassment, nor will you see us downloading cheats and attempting to ruin the game for those still playing. The Enclave is not and has not ever been an outfit whose purpose is griefing and I will not allow or encourage that type of dishonest behavior.

A final note to the PS2 community as a whole: the PS2 community is by far the absolute worst of any MMO game ever released. The PS2 community makes the WoW community look like a shining light of intellectualism and maturity. A big reason why the PS2 community is so laughable is a result of its F2P model which literally allows any retard to play the game. Additionally, the F2P model creates a level of anonymity and safety which allows people to make accounts to grief on a whim with no fear of real repercussion. Due to this, the un-paying masses can grief and harass the paying minority; it’s a terrible system unique to PS2 and hopefully the last of its kind.

The PS2 community ends up being the worst because it combines the absolute dregs of the internet into one melting pot of shit. Think of it as a combination of LoL players, CoD players, and disgruntled PS1 and BF3 players. Throw in a dash of entitlement due to the F2P model and you’ve got the PS2 community in a nutshell.

A lot of my enjoyment in PS2 came from destroying these people in game; the sense of satisfaction and pleasure I got out of knowing that I actually bothered these people was very rewarding. Every e-mail, tweet, YouTube video, comment, and complaint of rage about me brought a smile to my face. The meta-game of PS2 for me was infuriating the PS2 community at large and reminding them of their inadequacies while actually ruining what little enjoyment they got from this rather unenjoyable game. Being #1 and “the best” was a great way to do this.

To them, I was their King, sat high upon my self-crafted porcelain throne atop a mountain of garbage while they wallowed down below, clamoring hopelessly up the game’s shit-covered slopes, brimming with impotent rage.

For those who enjoyed my stream, enjoyed my antics, or had fun fighting with or against me: I will genuinely miss you all. A lot of you were intelligent enough to see through our personas, particularly mine, and our inside jokes (or at least appreciated having an antagonist to fight against or a competent ally to fight alongside) and understand what The Enclave is and will always be: a diverse group of casual and hardcore computer gamers who play these massive games the way they were meant to be played. We always tend to show up somewhere in a good, popular game -- so keep checking in, whether you want to fight with or against us.

For those in the PS2 community who hated and scorned me, but could never match me or mine on the virtual fields of battle, you are trash. I laugh at you. I take pleasure in knowing that, since July of 2012, I dominated and humiliated you and your friends. Each and every night for you was the same -- defeat, frustration and jealousy was all you ever knew when facing us. None of your outfits could match us. The Enclave in PS2, much like in PS1, had no equal. We leave the game on top by any reasonable metric. Know that the last time you saw my outfit in this game it was beating you and reminding you of your inferiority.

A lot of players in the PS2 community insisted that I was a cancer. In a way they're right and I agree with them because in the end cancer always wins.

Tl;dr - Buzz sucks his own cock.

And all Buzz has to show for his time playing Planetside 2 is a long, bitchy post on the official forum where he whines about what's wrong with the game. Chances are however, that he'll be back and launching into racist tirades once more.

Here we see BuzzCutPsycho's autism in action
I just got killed by some kinda fucking shit fag


—BuzzCutPsycho's autism levels going into overdrive

'Ultimate Empire Showdown'

SOE, realising how atrocious and unplayable their corn encrusted turd of a game was, decided they had to do something in order to stop their mongoloid fan base leaving en masse to the next big thing, so after fleeing to the hugbox to heal their hurt feelings about people finding their game shitty, got straight to the drawing board to come up with a flawless plan that would surely make players in the thousands come flocking to their awesome game. Their plan? To shit out an even larger corn encrusted turd, dubbed the, 'Ultimate Empire Showdown'. Consisting of three 'JewTube Celebrities' and a fan base full of rabid, butthurt fucktards, it was a plan made of faggotry and fail.

Removed Because SOE Told Tobuscus To Fuck Off

The Response

The butthurt is strong with this one.

Although most people with a higher IQ than the calorie count of a Diet Coke could see that the 'Ultimate Empire Showdown' was a plan stock full of the finest bullshit to date, but an unstoppable rage was forming elsewhere, as the Planetside 2 fan base cast down a shit storm SOE couldn't hope to predict. Angry, haphazardly typed forum posts, authored by butthurt fucktards came in the hundreds with the same message of, 'I DOONT LIEK HIM SONY CHAGE IT OR I STP PLATINGGG!!!!11!!!1'.

bah *** is that........TRAY you gonna stand for this ********.....Vanu can't have one aint logical...........anyway WHO IS THIS DUDE.............did he play PS1....what kinda name is that..........who voted for this dude.......i dont care what nc/tr do.......and if not TRAY and PURRFECT........then i will put forward names of various AT officers who are more than capable and experienced in leading Vanu.


—ZeroFigher, Giving some carefully thought out constructive criticism.

Wait, wait wait wait....

WHAT? is tobuscus doing a lets play as a vanu or somthing? why are we talking about him leading us?! When did this happen? why the hell did this happen? i just heared about this, please fill me in on whats happening, because i will NOT follow toby f***ing turner into battle


—Smitteys8, Another concerned Planetside 2 fan, giving his thoughts on the matter.

Ooo i better save up my grief points so i can hunt this ****er down.

I will not follow this NC man in to battle, ill stay by some one who has been here since Planetside 1! I VOTE EVILPIG!


—Zcommando, Yet another fan of the franchise giving SOE some rather helpful comments on how to improve.

Tobuscus Replaced

Before butthurt levels could reach critical mass, SOE responded quickly by politely telling the previous 'leader' of the Vanu, Tobuscus, to fuck off, and in his place, the Jewish overlords at SOE summoned another person to promote their corn-encrusted turd of a game who goes by their JewTube name, LevelCapGaming, much to the fantards delight; and as a result, fucktarded Vanu players came flocking to the forums by the dozen to praise SOE. However, the rest of the autistic playerbase who played as NC and TR were still anally ravaged about their 'leader', and resorting to giving out threats that they will leave, but we all know that they will instead just flee to their hugbox.

With the PlanetSide 2 Ultimate Empire Showdown quickly approaching, we wanted to share a quick update to the battle roster. Due to overwhelming community request, Charlie Goldberg of LevelCapGaming has been recruited to lead the Vanu Sovereignty in battle.

SOE would like to thank Tobuscus for his time and efforts, as well as thank LevelCap for answering the community’s call and stepping up to the line of fire. The community has spoken and SOE is confident that LevelCap will represent the VS as a strategic and fearless leader in battle during the Ultimate Empire Showdown on January 25th.


—One of the Planetside developers, telling their fans about how they told Tobuscus to fuck off.

What Actually Happened

The image that ravaged the anuses of thousands.

When the day finally came, on January 25th, 2013, many of the autistic fantards expected waves upon waves of their like-minded brethren to be preparing themselves for a night of hardcore combat; when in reality, almost nobody showed up and only a few asspies spent their evening flinging their shit at other retards. At the end of the "event", the Vanu Sovereignty won, because the majority of Planetside 2's developers are fucking idiots who don't know how to balance a game. Meanwhile,in LA, SOE summoned the "leaders" and their teams of overweight basement dwellers to coordinate their forces of shit-flinging monkeys to attack each other in the most retarded way possible, but most of them were still butthurt over not liking their faction leader, and as a result, most of the evening was filled with lulz and sounds of autistic fantards ravaged anuses.

When the smoke finally cleared, the Vanu won once again because of the developers aforementioned inability of being able to balance a game, but SOE, being the fucktards they are, don't know what a competition is and decided that they would change the point of the event to a Votedown, meaning that the fans of each JewTube "celebrity" would vote who they wanted to win, and because SOE is too fucking stupid to realise, it came down to who had the most fans. In the end, TotalBiscuit won because he had the largest fanbase and took home a shitty trophy SOE gave him and the TR flailed their arms like retards while the rest of the fanbase experienced anal pains for the next few days.

See Also

External Links

Portal games.png

Planetside 2 is part of a series on


Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.