From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The first person shooter genre was treached among novelty money grabbing whores
But as gaming became a faded rose
Only people showing up with the stence of a rotting corpse
They called themselves gamer, a moniker reminding of dismay
The gamers created a community of sorts
There they all played great sports
Shoot to kill
Frag at will
Games evolved, Some began to scold
Don’t shoot that tank, its bound to make the game fade
Don’t spank the monk, its griefing and its lame
Don’t spam that chat, it makes me insane
As dissensions rose, locarious demagogues
Began riding on the high horse
They arouse debacle
They saw opportunity in every spectacle
"Insert the banhammer" one said
"Lets make explotation our new god
It can not be our fault
that the game makers shoes are wrongly shod"
The constant clamouring created an empty sound
And idleness was in abound
Finally they agreed on something they all could hate
"Those leavers we have to ship off on a freight"
So they created a commite
And came up with a leaderboard
"Let’s ban all those leavers who are deadweight
With a negative score"
Kids planned their lives around their games
Tensions with their parents rose
And as a protest they always begun to glean
against the computer screen
"But what about those jerks ruining every game?
They are truly lame!
I scream at them every day calling them gay!
But I am not racist, so that must make me great!"
So noobs too were banned
They couldn’t come to this new gaming land
Left to their own device
“What if” would be the question forever on their mind
Next their were alleged lamers
They played to win
At every cost
They could not stand one single loss
"You fools you want to forbid our method
What we see as a virtue you see as a sin"
So they farmed two parties
One were the fucktards and the other were the retards
The first played forever more
The same map
Just so they could glee at their computer screen
And not realize that they were a useless team
The second screamed until the end of time
"Ban this, ban this
Gaming is too me a holy shrine
If something goes wrong I have to whine"
But games did come easy
You didn’t have to buy a big box
Now gaming was as commonplace as socks
But also as worn out
Gaming was now for those in doubt
The fingering gimmick
Were giving gamers the itch
So new rules were applied
Female gamers were constantly tested
Uneasy was now their plight
Saddened and heartbroken they now left
For they did not want to be a part of a cruel test
Now gamers had no one to mate
All they could do was masturbate
Had they only been more lenient
Then their genes wouldn’t fade out as gaming rooms that evaporate
Oh. Who am I fooling with this tale?
They can never get laid
Their love is as empty as space
But let me tell you something real
Gamers don’t want to be told how to feel
"Ban bare tits
Its sight reminds me of a bitch
Who happens to be better than me
In every way
The point is she is a more attractive lay
I am not asking much", I heard the feminist say
I just wish every man was gay
But this third group became a prominent force
All we want is new skin
so we won’t look like whores
The fucktards went behind the retards back
And said "give women their bodies back"
So they were given a new braid
But then neckbeards arrived
We don’t care for your orgies
We don’t want to pay
For someones ugly topée
But we would like off course
Have some good defense of sorts
So our games can run smooth and well
On the latest gaming shell
"Wait hang on there!
Why should we pay so that you can have your laundry clean?"
"Using dirty laundry on a new and polished machine?
We play how its meant to be played
In its natural way
We play it as a clean state
How about some museums for our fine projects?"
The bickering went on
And the forum had not a treasure to spare
"I know, let's give the community a vote"
They were presented with a charming man
"He said I promise health kits for all games ever made
No more gimmicks
And those that will scream in the mike shall be forced to take a hike"
These promised seemed to suffice
The majority was happy and everything seemed nice
"We want to party with our gimmicks games"
The self proclaimed cool kids said
Without it we can’ be our cool selves
Now we have to put our prides on our shelves
We are very afraid
How are we now supposed to both be cool and get laid?
But your style does not have to be so prominent
Sometimes the answer is heaven sent
Pirated games came
Buy it it from a shady dealer and hope he is not a money stealer
"Without quick deaths our game became a lagging hell
And without leadership it is crap
For those booming commanding voices made the game well"
Now the president seemed like a sap
So then there was space for more candidates
They sai"d look what our records say"
"My gaming history is as clean as a slate
I have not camped"
We shit were we eat
For our gaming chair is were we forever will sit
But one of them said
I am little more like you
"Look at my intelligence
The others are just as a leave from lent
Hold out! what you call a autumn fallout
Is what makes other players want to dropout
We never leave
In our camping space
Is were we look
For gamings next phase
“Hold on” you are both wrong
Gaming is not about who has the most clout
He who sees in gaming
A virtue and not a sin
Is surely he who will ultimately win
“Jesus Christ” grab a bike
Don’t take everything so serious
Festivities and trends are here for you and me
Live today for tomorrow might take you away
So differents parties were formed
They had different slogans
To show their great pretenses
“We play fair, cheating is never populair (but forbidding is)!”
“We would be great, if only our skills were a fraction of our body weight!”
“Hold tight, and see reviews of games we don’t master right!”
“We are uninterested fags only following gameing fads”
And so the politicians adopted a new dressing code
And said were everything seemed to explode
"Look at me I am just like you
I masturbate a lot, even when I have the flu
My sits are all over my face
I am bleak, mager and kinda lame
To vote for someone else would be insane"
But a face might not do the trick
Then you could always give an emotional kick
If what we have to say feels bare
Then we can always build castles in the air
And publish to the press
The feeling of community last heartbeat was felt
As everyone was indulged in their own emotional self
Hackers erased all the scores
With all this insecurity where do we now our games store?
So they started a public exponation
"Here we can present our latest innovation"
And leave our fans with infatuation
But you are only welcome if you have a flashy presentation
The speakers were roaring
As they could hear the crowds soaring
But on that stage
Came a boy who had not yet come of age
"Forgive for my ballsacks has yet to drop
I might be naive, I might be a fool
But shouldnt we all just
strive to follow the golden rule?"
|Typical politician talks about issues.|
|Political Satire||About missing Pics|
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- ERepublik, Zapatistas
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