Pop parenting

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Here's a waffle, son- Mommy needs to go on the internet now!
The quintessential sheeply pop parent, Crazayjillay, hard at work.

Pop parenting is a tactic of childrearing that is becoming increasingly popular on the Internet, especially LiveJournal, where mommies compete to see who is the best parent and no one wins because it's retarded and no one cares IRL.

Pop parenting is, inherently, doing whatever the Internet tells you to, including not vaccinating your children and copping a holier-than-thou attitude when faced with any other e-parent. Misleadingly labeled "attachment parenting", nothing really matters except pretending you practice obscure and wholly inefficient parenting techniques, making huge posts about how waffles kill babies (see Nouglybabies), quoting fake studies, saying how their religion is best left for them to decide (or create) by themselves, posting pictures of your babies at least 100 times per day, and eventually turning your children into the shrieking hellbeasts that justify the attitudes of childfree folk everywhere.

The best part about this parenting technique is that, in reality, pop parents are so busy on the Internet arguing about how formula and doctors suck and talking about their moontime, that their kids really sit in playpens neglected all day.

A sub-breed of the pop parenting phenomenon, Boob Nazis, spends a lot of time talking about how letting a 5 year old breastfeed is totally okay and not sexually perverted at all, scolding those who dare to give their children a bottle, and generally being retarded. So-called "mama drama" is a source of lulz for many, as evidenced by Nouglybabies.

Pop Parenting Sites

Mommy Connection

This is a popular pop parenting forum, in which access is granted by the admins. This is solely to show who is really running the show. You are promised a laid back atmosphere with little drama. Attaining access is easy, just say you have a cooch, you like anal sex and you have a few babies running around somewhere, and they will let you in.

Do not be fooled by the charming colors. These women are boob nazis who will defend the teat at all cost. They will make sure everyone knows that only bad moms feed their children formula. A way to get them all worked up is to mention that you've had your son circumcised or use the term retard to describe an idea you do not like.

Most of these women are from the St. Louis area, which that statement alone tells you that the majority are fat whores who shop at Wal-Mart. All intelligence is lost, as these women are self-proclaimed professionals, while they stay at home being a maid to their milk-puppies. A large percentage of these women are fugly and fat and will make at least 100 threads talking about the fantastic sex they had. Of course, according to most of them, they are fat because of genetics, not necessarily due to the double-pounder they just inhaled. Pity sex or no sex, that's their motto!

Due to their unfulfilling IRL lives, most often come online to berate someone that pointed out the fact that they are all fat whores. They will mount up their cliques and then start with calling everyone a troll or drama queen. This, of course, makes them seem smart to themselves and their parenting skill far surpass those of the other moms on there.

See also

External Links

Featured article January 29, 2006
Preceded by
Bantown
Pop parenting Succeeded by
Mario