Professor Tim Pierce

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Game, set and match. NUI 78, WP 0

Professor Tim Pierce is a true hero of the internets and trolled Wikipedia without even editing any articles. On January 21, 2007, anonymous announced on ToW that Professor Pierce of Northern Illinois University had assigned students in his class the task of vandalizing pages on the wikipedia social network and MMORPG. This announcement was made by one of the students by actually inserting it into the discussion of the NIU article. This student was awarded extra credit in the course for being able to simultaneously vandalize TOW and create great drama with a single action.

WIKI:SS Plan to Invade Illinois

This demonstration of the Wikipedia's potential for displaying propaganda was brought to the attention of the elite group of ToW Specialist Sysops commonly referred to in local beer halls as WIKI:SS. The SS organization takes vandalism, real or perceived, very seriously. All members of the SS corps have been trained by the head of the Reich. The SS members, who are chosen from the ranks of the WIKI:YOUTH corp and become part of the inner circle of leadership, lovingly refer to him only as Mein Fuhrer.

The task of dealing with Professor Tim Pierce was assigned to the SS group's SonderKommander. A brief meeting and display of histrionics was immediately undertaken at the Wiki:Wannasee HQ, and a Final Solution was half-assedly formed to deal with The Tim Pierce Question.

SS member Psychonaut immediately called for the posting of docs for the professor, the dean of faculty, the president of the university, and the Office of Academic Misconduct. A squad was also asked to determine the IP address of anyone remotely related to Pierce, the University, or the City of Dekalb. Once the IP addresses were identified, the squad pinned yellow stars on them and shipped them to WIKI:AUSCHWITZ.

In an action that ensured a lollercaust, Kommander Zoe was able to pressure the professor into making a confession by the clever use of spam. Zoe then began an effort to involve more people in the tragidrama. When she presented her case and threats of legal action to NIU's president and Public Relations Department, it was suggested that she bring her concern to the IRL Legal Department. The NIU faculty was not at all impressed with her "I'm telling your mom" approach. The full summary of the exchange can be found here. In brief: the NIU:IRLLEGALDEPT informed her that legal action could not be taken, because the actions of the professor were clearly outside the jurisdiction of Fantasyland. They also suggested that the appropriate action would be for her to STFU.

Mission Not Accomplished

The attention surrounding this incident threatened to expose the WIKI:SS to public scrutiny. The Fuhrer recognized the danger that such publicity posed, especially since the construction of the second oven had not yet been completed, and decided to publicly admonish her for her actions. This resulted in the Kommander setting herself on fire while being shot in the head. This was probably done for nefarious reasons, as there are current reports of the WIKI:SS gathering nasty emails, and several large crates from the ACME company, on the eastern German border — if they cannot win the internets they can at least take another shot at Case White.

The Professor has announced plans for incorporating his teaching methods into NIU's drama department. Advanced WIKI:STOP courses will be added in the following semesters; these are to cover the more subtle methods of getting your point across.

The incident did bring some interesting things to light:

  • Piotrus contributed large amounts of fuel that were poured directly onto the fire.
  • The TOW:PARADOX was formally acknowledged.
  • Professor Tim Pierce was awarded the Skynet Peace Prize for his efforts to prevent TOW from becoming self-aware.
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