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Reaction to watching Samwell.
You call that violent? Pffft.

Prototype (stylized as [PROTOTYPE] because the developers think they're cool) is an action-adventure video game released on the XBox 360, PS3 and PC, with the Wii once again being left out because its hardware sux. It was released to generally positive reviews, despite being hyped to Contra status like Assassin's Creed. Upon release it was the number one selling game of that month (not including Wii Sports, Wii Play, or Wii Fit because they suck horrible donkey dick, like VandalFucker).


Alex Mercer

Fangirl wet dream.

A guido with a perpetually placed hoodie, who has no recollection of past events and no idea where he is. He wakes up in a morgue in the building of "GENTEK" and discovers he has the ability to shapeshift. Not only that but he can eat people to gain their appearance, skills and memories. After a minor altercation with a bunch of soldiers, he sets off to consume those who are linked to the company to find out what has happened. At the end of the game you find out through the Web of Intrigue that Alex Mercer actually died after he released the virus by smashing it onto the ground before he was shot by the internet police. The virus took over Alex's corpse and Alex was fighting himself the whole time lol.

Alex Mercer is also increasingly becoming a character that many fangirls want to be ripped apart and sodomized by.

Elizabeth Greene

I'd hit it.
Unintentional fap material.

An aids carrying crackwhore with a bad case of herpes all over her face from all the soldier dick she had to suck for cigarettes. But other than that, she's the naturally infected black person virus who was held captive by Blackwatch after they kidnapped and apparently killed her baby, later known as Jew. So anyway, she is given the codename MOTHER, and is Alex's equal on the natural viral level as Alex is the artificial virus. Or some shit like that. Alex kills her.


Elizabeth Greene's son, called the ultimate life organism, and would be Alex's opposite as the ultimate virus, but in this case natural. The game contains a lot of dead babies. He'll most likely be the main villain in the second game. Nope.

Dana Mercer

Alex's dyke sister who he uses to get information and then almost gets killed. She doesn't know her actual brother is dead, but at least now she can fuck this one, amirite?

Karen Parker

Alex's fucking sellout cumdumpster whore of an ex-girlfriend who gave Alex over to Blackwatch, but then Alex kills her in the elevator.

Captain Cross

Fuckin' gangsta super soldier who works for Blackwatch and is the first 'boss' fight in the game, and he takes away Alex's powers by penetrating him with a long, hard steel needle. He feels empathy for Alex even though he must do his job, but he is killed by the Supreme Hunter, who takes his form and punks Alex into working with him.

Director McMullen


Dr. Bradley Ragland

The token black person. Helps Alex when he looses his powers and then helps Dana when Alex rescues her. But Alex was too fucking stupid to not question why Ragland knew so fucking much, and like always was a prick and didn't even thank Ragland for helping him.

Supreme Hunter

The last boss of the game, who took Captain Cross' form after he consumed him and got Alex to work for him. Supreme Hunter was born when Elizabeth Greene was attacked by Alex and injected with that bloodtox shit and to defend herself she spewed a giant fetus from her throat who Alex beat up until he got some on his shoe, and for some reason that got him to regenerate. *shrug*

The Plot

Mary Sue, shitty anatomy, AND photoshop underlay?!


You control an amnesiac named Alex Mercer who has no recollection of past events and no idea where he is. He wakes up naked in a basement of a company called 'GENTEK' with a throbbing pain in his ass and discovers he has the ability to shapeshift. Not only that but he can eat people to gain their appearance, skills and memories. After a minor altercation with a bunch of soldiers, he sets off to consume those who are linked to the company to find out what has happened.

Once Alex gets out to Manhatten he finds that the whole city is in disarray. The army is hunting down people who may have a similar disease to him. A black operation group known as 'Blackwatch' are attempting to rid niggers who have caught the disease from the city. As Alex traverses through the city he must fight his way through the army, Blackwatch, a bunch of infected humans and a pack off extremely feral dogs known as 'hunters', who look like the result of a necromorph and Star Fox orgy.

So Alex infiltrates GENTEK with the help of his sister, and finds an infected MILF named Elizabeth Greene who is being quarantined by GENTEK. She escapes the building and becomes the leader of the hunters. Alex makes contact with his ex-girlfriend Karen, who turns out to be a secret Blackwatch employee. She leads him to an officer of Blackwatch whose name is Captain King, where he gets injected with a 'cure' that slowly destroys his powers. If that wasn't a big enough kick in the balls for poor Alex, his sister got kindapped too. A guy named Doctor Ragland eventually makes a counter-cure for Alex witch restores his power back, and a biological weapon to kill Elizabeth Green. He injects the weapon into Greene, where she vomits out a mixture of semen and blood which transforms into the 'Supreme Hunter'. Alex kills the Supreme Hunter and takes his sister to a safe hiding place.

As the story unfolds with the help of a mysterious contact, Alex finds out that in 1969 the government created the virus that was designed , I shit you not, to specifically target and kill black person (srsly.). It was tested on the niggers in Idaho, but unfortunatly, the virus decided not to be racist and instead fucked up everyone. When it got out of hand, the government decided to nuke the fuck out of Idaho, with Elizabeth Greene being the only survivor, and who was infected with the virus. He also learns about his own past. After someone leaked the GENTEK project, it was shut down and all employees were to be eliminated from life. Blackwatch soldiers proceeded to perma-ban all who worked on the GENTEK project, which includes Alex. Knowing he couldn't possibly escape, Alex took a tube filled with the virus and unleashed it. The soldiers then shot Alex down. The virus however spread across the city and reanimated a clone of Alex's corpse. That's right, it turns out you're a fucking reanimated virus and its your fault the entire city has gone to shit!

So basically Alex fishes out Elizabeth from the underground with an anti-virus, whose real name is MOTHER, and kills her. Then the secret contact wants Alex to kill the guy who was in charge of all the GENTEK research whose name is McMullen McLovin. When Alex reaches him he an heroes. After he dies, it is revealed that the leader of Blackwatch, General Randall, wants to nuke Manhatten out of the fucking stratoshpere to get rid of the virus. The contact, who turns out to be Captain King, tells Alex to board a ship named 'Ronald Reagan' where the nuke is being held. Alex kills the leader of the army, Colonel Taggart as well as General Randall. Captain King then reveals himself to be the Supreme Hunter you thought you killed earlier on. He transforms into his final form and fight Alex to the death. Alex becomes a winner after decapitating Captain King and submerges the nuke into the water. When he attempts to return back to land, the nuke explodes and takes him with it. After his fucked up body floats back to land he eats a crow and regenerates back to normal, ending the game (which you just lost by the way).


Godhand edition.
Typical Prototype scene.

It was amusing using some of the powers, however that sweet taste quickly turned to a used kitty-litter box in my mouth as I realized I was facing the same. old. enemies. over. and. over. again.



The gameplay in Prototype was designed to appeal to retarded 13-year-olds. You get to make weapons out of your arms (like that guy from Terminator 2) and can stab, slash, decapitate, and rip apart your opponents. You are able to identity theft someone by killing them and eating the rotting corpse, prompting you to assume their appearance. If you take damage, you can heal by eating a hunter's shit, also known as "Biomass".

Players have the ability to scale buildings, jump unrealistic distances, fly through the air, and can run faster then an Olympic black person on steroids. Paying homage to the Grand Theft Auto series, players can also jack a motherfucker if they see fit. Players can take control of army tanks and helicopters and use them to destroy shit. Players also have the ability to turn into a flying cannonball and blast their opponents away, as well as using dead bodies as skateboards as a means of transport. Players can also freely roam the city and go on rampages, fucking up innocent civilians at any time they please, and destroy vehicles. Move aside GTA, lawyers, fundamentalist Christians and concerned mothers have a new target.

TL;DR: Prototype is every ADHD gamers wet dream.

However..If you can somehow fumble your way to the end of the game, AND you still don't think you got your money's worth upon buying this piece of shit, You're given two options:

Restart the entire game after have just beaten it. But this time, you get to keep anything and everything you unlocked in the first run. meaning that it will be a complete push-over and you'll probably have it finished within the hour.

Or, Roam the streets of NY, cleaning up all the remaining enemy bases and hives, engaging in "Time Based" Mini-games, Collecting Over 9000 shiny little balls, Unlock moar power-ups and stat boosters, and basically just do everything you already did, over and over. In the Gaming world. this is called: Replay Value


Claws - The default mutation and starting weapon. Requires several billion "Evolution Points" before Groundspike becomes a viable attack. You will use it twice, upgrade, and never look back.

Hammerfist - Alex forces his biomass into forming concentrated balls of hardened shit on the end of his arms, then attempts to direct them into the nearest expensive military weapon-thing.You can hurl yourself across entire buildings, beating the shit out of anyone in your way with your mighty Banhammer fists. Despite being the "anti armor" mutation of the game, you'll have a better chance at drawing a straight line with your own dick than actually hitting anything with this sluggish attack. Avoid.

Whipfist - The game's most notorious move. Allows Alex the ability to fling his rather large phallus at people and rip their bodies in half. This weapon is your single hope in hell when the Strike Teams arrive. Enables you to reel in people, smaller infected, and pieces of rubble for consumption or use as a projectile. You can also latch onto the helicopters, kill the crew, and Skyjack the poor motherfuckers, thus pleasing all the GTA fags that bought this game.

Blade - The only upgrade in the game that deals out enough damage to make it usable, whilst also being quick enough to avoid getting yourself blown to pieces by the sheer numbers of on-screen enemies coming your way. In the progression of the Prototype storyline, the power is given after you complete a section of the game in which your powers are removed and eventually regained, as if to reward you for not snapping the game disc in half in frustration.

Musclemass - Remember this in the trailer? Remember how you pissed yourself with joy at the thought of becoming a giant black person bodybuilder at the push of a button? No? Of course you didn't, because that's absolutely scatterbrained. Musclemass is the most retarded power in the game. It's basically just your normal shitty unarmed melee attacks, but now you do 2% moar damage and throw things about 5 yards further.

Shield - A large, black, webby black person forms in front of you, blocking ranged attacks for a limited period of time and allowing you to charge through crowds of people like a human snowplow. After taking a certain amount of damage, this potentially entertaining device shatters into slivers of black mess, requiring you to wait half an hour or so for it to regenerate. It's about as fun as it sounds.

Armour You are covered in a thick layer of your own sticky fluids. Your attack power is increased, and, obviously, you take less damage. What they don't tell you is that you can no longer dodge, jump, or glide, forcing you to take every attack thrown at you like a big bulls-eye is strapped to your face. You also look like a giant metal black person.

Infected Vision - Allows you to track and detect anyone carrying the deadly virus, which is pretty much everyone anyway. For some reason, it detects tanks and helicopters, but not infected hives. Strange. Like a lot of things in this game. you use it in a single mission, then forget all about it.

Thermal Sight - If you've ever watched Predator you'll know all about this. Due to tanks and helicopters giving off no heat, they basically appear invisible to you. What you can't see can't hurt you, right?

However, to make up for this steampile of fail, Alex also has a bunch of epic moves known as "devastators". These include the "Tendril Barrage", where he launches several smaller phalluses from his body that impales everyone, "Groundspike Graveyard", where he jumps in the air and smashes back into the ground causing a bunch of spikes to pop up from the ground, and "Critical Pain", where Alex fires a Kamehameha that blasts his enemies to Hell. Basically, you can mash any button and blood sprays everywhere.

Versus Infamous

Pretty much.

Another game similar to Prototype was released two weeks beforehand entitled Infamous exclusively for the PS3. Its similarities include scaling buildings, possessing super powers, and being set in a sandbox-style city. Sony fanboys will constantly try to draw comparisons between the two in an attempt to make themselves feel better over the fact that they spent $600 USD on an expensive blu-ray player.

It's interesting to note that those who play Infamous, play Guild Wars, and use Mac computers. Because they are faggots. They, for some reason, seem entitled to hold up their precious Infamous like it was the Holy Grail handed to them by God Himself, looking down upon Prototype with hate and biased, whiny comments, acting like The Game is some exclusive for the 360 or something. However, they fail to count in that it's MULTIPLATFORM, meaning they too can buy it if they fucking want. All in all, it's as if the PS3 fanboys had two cakes to eat, claiming that one tastes like shit just because everyone else can have a slice, and they have a chocolate cake to eat all to themselves, the spoiled assholes.

Infamous is on the PS3 only meaning it has better graphics then Prototype. You can't deny the PS3 has better technology.


—Sonyfag disregarding that Prototype plays on PS3 as well.


As you can tell, this game is violent. Millions and millions of liters of pixelated blood will be ejaculated from the bodies of others as you sever them apart. When the inevitable sequel arrives and Prototype becomes an established franchise, you can be guaranteed millions of 10 year olds whose moms were stupid enough to buy them the games will re-enact what they see. Lolsuits will be filed one millionfold, and tragedies will ensue. It'll be the first GTA all over again.

Notify Jack Thompson for great justice.

The Great Challenge

I'd hit it like the fist of an angry god.

A couple weeks and some days ago, a great troll named Yahtzee was comparing Prototype with the shitty Infamous and as a joke could only break his indecisiveness if the developers could make their character look good while wearing a bra. The devs thought he was serious so they actually made their characters in bras and poorly rendered boobies.

Due to Yahtzee's bad taste in boobies, he gave the winning vote to the creators of Infamous after vigorously fapping to the picture.

Full thing hereThe challenge

External Links

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