Pull Your Pants Up

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Typical Homosexuals

Pull Your Pants Up, man... cuz if the drawers be saggin', you must be faggin'.

Dwaine Caraway has a bold vision for the future of the city of Dallas, devoting his life to fighting the urban evils of dangerous stray dogs, hourly hot-sheet motels, and decaying sidewalks. As Deputy Mayor Pro Tem, his job is support legislation that rephrases unenforced city code in new and exciting ways. His most vulgar target to date are the saggy baggy pants that are all the rage with kids these days. This fashion menace assaults property values and turns the community into a beacon for raging homosexual predators.... but more on this later. The only thing that managed to stop Caraway's proposed trouser ordinance was a teeny bit of pesky constitutional law and the fact that such a thing could be construed as racial profiling since there's just not as many white people out ghetto waddling around on the streets.

DwaineCaraway.jpg
 
 
The No. 1 mission is very simple: pulling up your pants. That's all we want. We don't want to throw folks in jail because they wear their pants low. So we're going to make it man's law and not city law.
 

 

—Dwaine Caraway, spinning his loss against Thomas Jefferson.

After Dallas area gospel rapper Duwayne "Dooney" Brown saw Caraway's plight unfold on local television, he was inspired to take the battle for fashion decency directly to the streets and win the hearts and minds of his brothers through music. He locked himself in a closet for several hours to develop his idea, emerging at 3 A.M. that same night with a completed musical masterpiece. He then claimed the PullYourPantsUpMan myspace, updated his stage name to "Dooney da Priest", and recorded the new single.

Finished product in hand, the young rapper presented his work to Caraway. The politician green-lighted the project, only requesting a single edit to remove the word "Gay" from Dooney's lyrics. Caraway then forced Clear Channel radio to sponsor a few "Pull Your Pants Up" billboards that began to pop up around Dallas.

If the pants ride low, you must be homo.

On The Down Low : The Things You Learn In Prison

An estimated 95% of the population thinks that when you "Keep It On The Down Low", you've got a wild booty call that your main girl don't know about and ain't gonna know about it, cuz you and her are keeping your mouths shut. Keeping a low profile. Keeping it on the down low. Credit R. Kelly, the pissing pedophile rapper, for popularizing this term amongst scores of kids in the 90's.

Baggy pants were a prison standard in the early 20th century... If inmates had access to belts, they would more than likely use them to beat the crap out of each other or hang themselves to death. Technologies like elastic helped fix this problem, but even today the style remains among homosexual inmates. They tend to wear their pants well below the hips, as this gives potential studs quick and easy access to their butt, and anyone can effortlessly reach inside and sample the tightness of their sphincter. In prison, "Keeping It On The Down Low" is a very literal term.

Keep this in mind as you read the lyrics or listen to the song.

Pull Your Pants Up : Clean Edit

Pull Your Pants Up Video, Song

Homosexual Couple,
Urinating On An Engine Block

Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up Man!
Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up Man!

I'm the street priest I'm not here to Judge
This a letter to the streets talking to my thugs
From Gebeuds to Monkey jeans to what you want to wear
I'm just saying man im sick of seeing your underwear
I think I speak on behalf of the community
You look suspect jail is were you soon to be
Behind bars it's a code for the "N" word
The word saggin spelled backward is the "N" word

You walk the streets with your pants way down low
I don't know! Looks to me you on the down low
Some of yall think its gangster to show your back
On behalf of real men we aint feeling that
We don't understand man cause it shocks us
Can you make us understand why you show your boxers?
Cause if you stand up straight bet your pants fall
Might as well walk around with your pants off

(Chorus)

Be a real man stand up! Is that your underwear man pull your pants up
I'm a grown man on my grind trying to shine
How you gone grind when your mind showing your behind
I think its rude but some of yall think it's cool
Walking around showing your behind to other dudes
It looks retarded, degenerate, and real odd
Yeah you hard! But now it's hard to get a real job

What's up with it bro I'm just trying to let you know
Put a belt around your waist before your pants hit the floor
If you twenty and above and you still sagg
Man you grown and you're wrong you should feel bad
A disgrace to your race were your pride at
Come on man pull up your pants and get your pride back
I'm not saying don't show your swagg with your baggy jeans
I'm just saying don't show your "eah!!" with your baggy jeans

Pullem up! Whats up with bro? Pullem up before your pants hit the floor
Pullem up! Whats up with bro? Pullem up before your pants hit the floor

Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up Man   
Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up! Pull Your Pants Up Man

Pull Your Pants Up - Earlier Lyrics

Prior to the final edit, the lyrics highlighted above in blue were

I think it's gay, but some of you think it's cool,
walking around showin’ your behind to other dudes.

The original version is available for download. These lyrics are at the 2:31 mark.

Gays Get Pissed

A blog at National Public Radio covered the campaign in one of their posts, and a number of attentive homosexuals that actually read the lyrics noticed that they were getting slammed by the "down low" line. They also got all pissed at suggestions that there is something inherently wrong with being gay, and that men shouldn't be looking at the backside of other men.

Dooney promptly posted an apology to the entire gay community, saying that the song was not explicitly meant to be an attack on them, but rather to inform those who never intended to waddle the streets looking like the prison bitch. He pointed out that his informative slant was backed up by the "saggin spelled backwards is the N-word" line, which has nothing to do with homosexuality and everything to do with a mix of racial and socioeconomic bigotry.

 
 
What I'm saying is not being gay is uncool, I think it's the fact that 80% of the young men on the street are ignorant of the fact of what it truly means and so my thing is to educate them. Now rather if their sexual preference is to be a gay or be a homosexual, that's their own problem.
 

 

—Dooney, on how if you gonna be gay, that's your problem

Two Ex-Con Homosexual Rappers and Jessica Alba

The Original Pull Your Pants Up

Contrary to everything Dooney claimed in interviews, "Pull Your Pants Up" wasn't always a homophobic anthem. It was originally written by kid-friendly rapper "Six 8" in 2006, and it actually had much better lyrics and vocals before Dooney blatantly ripped off the beat and title.

Six 8 confirmed that he had only recently learned about the Dallas version of pull your pants up, but doesn't much care, since he's on the grind, doing his own thing.

Trivia: The name "Six 8" refers to the rapper's dicksize, as in 68 cm. This is a form of compensation, albeit not a subtle one, much like men who drive big/expensive cars.

The Billboard Problem

Youre' retarded.
One complaint that Dallas City Hall received about the Pull Your Pants Up campaign billboards indicated that they fucked up the apostrophe, which should read like...

Pull'em Up

... instead of ...

Pullem' Up

In short, the campaign is directly contributing to the grammatical delinquency of our youth.

Alternate Theories Of Sag

 
 
"As a former law enforcement officer in CA, it is my understanding that the style originated from a combination of poverty stricken illegal aliens and x-cons stealing clothes off the clothes lines. I attended gang seminars that provided this explanation but do not have it available to provide reference."
 

 

—fuzzyg-ga, Google Answers

NIPPLE PANTS ZAG

SVA #1 Fan says Dooney's a hater that can't get with the "NIPPLE PANTS ZAG NIPPLE NIPPLE PANTS ZAG YO YO"

See Also

External Links

Overtly Ephebophilic Sagger Sites

NPR

MyFox Dallas

They have the exclusive music video.

YouTube

Featured article November 14, 2007
Preceded by
School Shooting
Pull Your Pants Up Succeeded by
Megan Meier