Pumpkin Carving

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Pumpkin Carving is one of the original IRL memes/traditions that has been passed down from generation to generation of Amerifats during the jolly Autumn Season month of Spooktober. Basically, the premise is to grab a nice fat one of a pumpkin, carve its guts out, and cut a new face into the fucker - kinda like a sick fuck serial killer would do with a random streetwalker. Then, wait till Samhain Night and light a fire in that mofo.

Origins

The "American tradition" of defacing pumpkins, like most Amerifat practices, is actually taken from another culture's practices and bastardized (or "improved") from an old-fashioned Irishman's practice. In Ireland the "Jack O'Lantern" was carved from a turnip plant, however, as Irish had neither potatoes OR pumpkins at the time. As part of a weirdo ritual meant to to scare away "Evil Spirits", the Ancient Ones, i.e the Irish Celtics (no, not the "Wiccans" in your high school lunchroom) would decorate and cut up turnips on All Hallow's Eve.

Stingy Jack

The origin of the term "Jack O'Lantern", for all of you cunning linguists out there, comes from an old folk legend about a trollish, drunkard trickster of a a man named "STINGY JACK", who clowned on the devil but was later.. well, just read the story for yourself:


   
 
Stingy Jack was a miserable, old drunk who took pleasure in playing tricks on just about everyone: family, friends, his mother and even the Devil himself. One day, he tricked the Devil into climbing up an apple tree. After the Devil climbed up the tree, Stingy Jack hurriedly placed crosses around the trunk of the tree. Unable to touch a cross, the Devil was stuck in the tree. Stingy Jack made the Devil promise him not to take his soul when he died. Once the devil promised not to take his soul, Stingy Jack removed the crosses, and the Devil climbed down out of the apple tree.

Many years later, Jack died, he went to the pearly gates of Heaven and was told by Saint Peter that he was mean and cruel, and had led a miserable, worthless life on earth. Stingy Jack was not allowed to enter heaven. He then went down to Hell and the Devil. The Devil kept his promise and would not allow him to enter Hell. Now Jack was scared. He had nowhere to go, but to wander about forever in the dark Netherworld between heaven and hell. He asked the Devil how he could leave, as there was no light. The Devil tossed him an ember from the flames of Hell, to help Stingy Jack light his way. Jack had a Turnip with him. It was one of his favorite foods, and he always carried one with him. Jack hollowed out the Turnip, and placed the ember the Devil had given him, inside the turnip. From that day onward, Stingy Jack roamed the earth without a resting place, lighting his way as he went with his "Jack O'Lantern".

On All Hallow's Eve, the Irish hollowed out Turnips, rutabagas, gourds, potatoes and beets. They placed a light in them to ward off evil spirits and keep Stingy Jack away. These were the original "Jack O'Lanterns". In the 1800s a couple of waves of Irish immigrants came to America. The Irish immigrants quickly discovered that Pumpkins were bigger and easier to carve out. So they used pumpkins for Jack O'Lanterns.
 


 
 

Old Irish Folklore, taken From Pumpkin Nook Dot Com

Carve that shit up

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Featured article October 26 and 27, 2019
Preceded by
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