Purple PJs

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Purple PJs is a website created by a pedophile for teenage girls. Originally Cybergrrlz, it was forced to change its name due to an internet lawsuit when a porn website threatened to sue the editor (whose daddy is a lawyer) unless she changed the name to something even gheyer than "Cybergrrlz." The Purple PJs main page is not read by anyone, even the editorial staff, but it used to have a forum that is frequented by sixteen-year-old girls, thirteen-year-old boys, and internet pedophiles, before Martine got butthurt and baleeted it.

Note: nothing under the "fun" section is really fun.
Martine thinks this looks good

Purple PJs, being essentially a bureaucracy, has a distinct hierarchy, explained briefly in its About Us page. At the top is Martine, a.k.a. God. Next are the Assistant Editors, also known as AEs (which also stands for "ass eaters"), which are not to be confused with Æ. Next come the PEs (page editors/PEons) of popular pages, then the PEs of unpopular pages, and the n00bs who actually read this crap. Being essentially a bureaucracy, PJs also has a metric assload of pages, providing girls with opportunities to get advice on both sex AND boys, submit both stories AND poems, and share their opinions about hair products, just like in a REAL magazine.

History

Typical forumgoer

In 1997, Victor_M (also known as Victor_Mmmm, and sometimes as ARG, or A_Real_Guy), trolling a chat room for teenage lesbians under the alias Heidi82, decided to create a very badly designed website to attract teenage girls and get them to share stories about their first periods and naughty things they did with their boyfriends. The website became fairly popular and due to much pressure for Heidi82 to produce pictures and make public appearances, she was "grounded" and control of the site was handed over to Victor_M's daughter Jennifer_M, who some, despite having photographic evidence of her existence, claim was another of Victor's aliases, or possibly a fuckbuddy he paid to pretend to be his daughter.

Jennifer_M lost interest sometime around 1999, and Martine, a 16-year-old girl (literally) with a centipede filled vagina and a lawyer daddy became editor and dictator of Cybergrrlz.com and has remained its Dear Leader ever since. It has been speculated that Martine enjoys the line on her resume much more than she enjoys actually contributing to the website. The Martine era has involved copious amounts of both drama and downtime, as well as the frequent h4X0ring of the forum by nerds and Dutchmen.

You're just sad cause your vagina is filled with centipedes

At the end of June 2006, the Martine era appeared to come to an end. After completely fucking up the site, making it look like ass, baleeting the forum, pissing off all the regulars, and seeing over 60% of the staff walk out, Martine resigned from the position of Editor in Chief, then seemingly disappeared from the internets. Christie, a long-time PJ user, ass eater, and bogan, was named as her replacement. It is rumored that Martine is still playing dictator from behind the scenes, but Christie is to take the blame when the site ultimately fails, which will probably happen next week. Another rumor was that Martine had quit IRL forever, but sadly, this was not true.

Last Thursday, Martine returned from marrying Daniel, a noted fucktard and cuntpuppet, and revamped the site design again, making it even uglier, and adding stolen images. This appeared to be an attempt to prove that the 5-month-old "under construction" message had not been left up out of sheer laziness. Nobody really knows what Martine did in the months she was absent, since everyone knows that Catholics don't actually have sex because it gives them the AIDS. It is assumed that she briefly ran away to Mexico where she snorted coke out of the buttcrack of a midget crackwhore with one eye, and was briefly sold into female slavery. At any rate, she is back now and fucking up the website to the max. For more information, see the "Above the Law" section below.

TEH DRAMAZ

you'll be arrested for seeing this

Purple PJs has had its share of drama, from bannings and unbannings, to the reign of terror by a "pedophile" known as Gab, to board deletions and mass overthrow of admins, to ridiculous grudges based on imaginary rivalries that have no bearing on real life. Numerous "rebel boards" have also been created to protest Martine's inability to run a site. The average lifespan of a rebel board is approximately one week.

Martine is very anal about copyrights. The page is plastered with copyright Martine notices. This has led to the threat of at least one internet lawsuit by Martine's daddy against Emilyjo, a college student also known to have a centipede filled vagina and to be a chickenshit pussy who bends to the slightest pressure, who made a parody logo for her rebel board The Farce. As a result, other parody logos were made, the best of which being The Tentacle, a homage to hentai and Cthulhu.

Martine also worries incessantly about the threat of pedophiles being attracted to her website filled with young, nubile, juicy, sexy, dumb-as-fuck teenage girls. As a result, she ignored Victor_Mmm for years, focusing her crusade instead on Gab, a.k.a. Bart the Trucker. PJs admins blame most trouble that arises on Gab returning, due to his neverending quest for PJer pussy. Despite this, Gab has made no attempt to contact any board members or even initiated severely dirty chats, and has merely been an annoyance. It's now a common occurrence for forum regulars to call each other truckers and claim to be part of a rape convoy with Bart. If a person causing trouble is not Bart, he is Steve, an obnoxious libertarian who loves Devo, TL;DR, and buttsecks.

blame Japan

At the end of 2004, PJs experienced a pedophilia scandal that didn't exist solely in Martine's head. Victor_Mmm cybered with a 13-year-old girl in the PJ chat room, "a safe place for girls," then sent the log to a PJer to prove the stupidity of teenage girls. Having suspected him of being a sick fuck for years, forum regulars jumped all over this and Victor_Mmm was banned soon after. In response, Victor_Mmm created his own site for teenage girls. So far, it has been more successful than any other site created by pissed off ex-PJers. We suspect this is due to Victor's charisma, marketing skills, and ability to summon legions of sockpuppets to his command.

While Martine usually throws a shit fit if anyone either does something remotely "threatening" to the "emotional wellbeing" of PJers or if anyone even thinks of creating a website remotely similar in content to PJs (thus "stealing" her "copyrighted material"), she did not in this case. In fact, she listed PJers' cruel mistreatment of Victor as one of her reasons when she baleeted the forum. It is speculated that she just loves teh aged cawk.

Important legal disclaimer: We don't have real evidence that Victor_Mmm actually enjoys the company and cybersex of teenage girls in a non-platonic way. Maybe 53-year-olds and 13-year-olds can be just friends.
dramatization

Back in the days of CoolBoard and EZboard, PJs was subject to board wars, especially with 3DMM and Khakhain. These fights went on forever until an admin or moderator locked the threads, spawning a "why was my thread locked" thread and even more drama, until most of the participants were banned. Internal fights, such as the great Portrayed's birthday debacle in which porn was posted (OMG, you could see balls!), also produced the same result.

Being home to so many 16-year-old girls, PJs has had its fair share of typical teen girl drama, including the obligatory suicide. Arizonagurl, a girl who posted on the PJ forum semi-regularly, committed suicide, or so her "friend" informed the board. Moderators quickly noticed that Arizonagurl's friend had the same IP address, and once she admitted her suicide was fake, Arizonagurl was banned like Gab.

Several PJers have also posted cutting pics, which prompted Emilyjo, Alex, Raspy, Julie, and other members of a curious cadre of troll regulars to create a thread of their own "cutting pics," featuring such items as ketchup and barbecue sauce. 16-year-old girls cried and cut more and the thread was locked.

Martine's Meltdown

AE Attacks!!

In late June 2006, Martine created a thread entitled "Dirty Laundry," in which she "apologized" (blamed abstruse and karin) for being a giant cunt whore ever since she began her Nazi reign/began having "trust issues". Not surprisingly the thread was quickly reduced into batshit craziness, mostly spewing from Martine's centipede-filled vagina.

While Martine was foaming at the mouth, she also revealed that she had been reading other users' private messages for some time, making sure that no evil plots could be hatched to overthrow her glorious reign.

The thread quickly vanished, and shortly after, the forum "mysteriously" "disappeared" as well. While one theory blames hax0rz, the more popular theory is Martine baleeted the forum because she is a whorebag and cannot deal with the idea that someone somewhere might be mocking her.

The "official" story

The following day, it was revealed on the super-secret staff forum that the forum was gone forever, and there were no plans to actually post this on the website, perhaps because Martine realizes that no one actually reads the website.

In drama-filled revenge, an AE edited the main website so that it attacked Martine. LOLZ ensued and Martine threatened to baleet the whole website and fire the AEs. These plans quickly changed as Martine realized that without the site, she would have nothing to be a crazy fascist about, and without staff, she might actually have to do some work on the website.

Beware the Martine. She is a jealous cunt and will probably hate you forever because you saw this - and punishment might include not being allowed to be a forum moderator! (Oh fuckshit! There is no more forum! Now what will we be banned from moderating?!) OH NOEZ.

Above the Law

"Creativitygirl.jpg"

After launching the godawful site design of shit in July 2006, Martine disappeared from PJs to get married to someone just as anal and fucktarded as she is. Truly a match made in heaven. Returning after her brief, disappointing, and surely premature ejaculation-filled honeymoon, Martine revamped the site design again, making it ugly in a different way.

Apparently, all the hot Catholic sex went to Martine's head, as the new site design featured several (ass-ugly) photos stolen from istockphoto.com, saving Martine a grand total of $10 off the cost of running the site, and proving that copyright law only applied to her intellectual property. The e-lawyers were called and istockphoto.com was contacted. We await the unfolding of any subsequent drama.

Compare the photo on the right to this: Exhibit A.

  • Will Martine learn that it's not fair to try to sue people for stealing your ideas (such as editing the clothes off your drawings or launching a website called "Ask A Bitch"), then turn around and steal other people's stuff?
  • Will Martine's Lawyer Daddy save the day?
  • Will Martine countersue, claiming that all images of girls using laptops have been copyrighted by her since at least 100 years ago?

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!

Update: Martine has removed the stolen images, like the pussy she is. We eagerly await an angst-ridden post in the staff forum. LOL PWNED!

See also

Related Sites

Featured article August 8, 2006
Preceded by
Furcadia
Purple PJs Succeeded by
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