|Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more...|
|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Ralph Joseph Bandsma, currently aged 20, lives with his grandma in a trailer park on the outskirts of Durham, North Carolina. In addition to being a proud member of the YouTube Thomas Club and a NASCAR fan, he is also known for being a copyright freak, a false flagger and a chronic waaaambulance caller. Whenever someone expresses their thoughts on RJ in the form of a YouTube commentary, RJ instantly flags the video using a bullshit copyright claim, which, in most cases, results in the offending video being deleted and the uploader's account being suspended.
Needless to say, the aforementioned procedure has earned RJ a lot of troll sheilding wannabes that have made it their mission to make RJ into the new Chris-chan. It hasn't gone as smoothly as they had hoped.
What you need to know about RJ
- He thinks calling someone a "babyfucker" is sexual harrassment.
- He really, REALLY likes Thomas the Tank Engine.
- He frequently threatens to kill those who steal his videos on YouTube.
- "Nigger" seems to be the only insult he knows.
- He often threatens to call the cops on his trolls.
- He has a diaper fetish.
- He has a tranny fetish.
Ralph Joseph Bandsma was born in Florida on May 11, 1992 to his dad and his whore of a mother. Two years later, his dad left to fight in the army and RJ left to stay with his grandmother. He slept in a racecar bed until he was 16.
Forcing "The Sagas"
Once RJ gained himself a legion of obsessive, unfunny followers, they began to force Chris-chan styled "trolling sagas" of his antics. None of them produced anything resembling lulz, but that hasn't deterred them in the least.
Early Beginnings on YouTube
RJ wanted to be like all the other Thomasfags on YouTube and make videos about an anthromoporphic locomotive, but he failed at failing, by stealing other user's media. This led to the biggest shitstorm in the YouTube Thomas community.
The Rambotweety1 Saga
Once upon a time, RJ's father, who lives in a different state and goes by the name Rambotweety1 on YouTube, found out his son was being cyberbullied on the internet. Unaware of what RJ did to deserve the hate he was receiving, Rambotweety made several videos in his defense, which spawned several rage-filled commentaries about him. Fortunately, Rambotweety soon discovered that RJ himself was fueling the war, and made a video message to him telling him to stop what he was doing. Unsurprisingly, RJ ignored his father's message, proceeding to block him and upload another video of himself BAWWWWing about the cyberbullies. In the end, Rambotweety gave up on trying to knock some sense into his son's head and went on to be a successful YouTube commentator and lolcow hunter.
The Supermariofan682 saga
RJ used to be best friends with Supermariofan682, a minor Canadian lolcow known for having been in a relationship with a troll pretending to be a girl, and, at a later stage, making up a fictional girlfriend in an attempt to make others think he isn't forever alone. The friendship lasted until RJ made fun of Supermariofan's interest in a children's show - namely My Little Pony. Ironic, seeing as RJ is a fan of Thomas the Tank Engine, which is also a children's show. He has also reportedly added "Flutter Shy" (who, for those who don't know, is a character in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as a friend on his Facebook profile, which implies he might in fact be a closeted brony.
Special: The ED Saga
In August 13th, 2011, lulz surged again when poor Ralphy found this particular article about him, promptly calling the waaaambulance as he always does and tried to vandalize this article to try and protect his reputation, alone this time without his aspie followers. Using such great cover names like RJBandsma68, and Trollsuck on August 24th as a supposed "plan B" after his first account failed, the fake EDiot tried to blank and baleet the entire article twice, proving there were more lulz to be milked from this insipid cow. The only problem with that obviously brilliant plan is that you really shouldn't put your username in as the same name of the article you're trying to blank. Clearly unaware that places like these can have blankings like his reverted and all edits kept track by whom did what, his plan to protect his good name failed both times as expected. His first account's luser page was properly vandalized as a little parting gift from us for his attempted removal of lulz and both accounts have been properly b&, with Ralphy having account creation disabled and his e-mail blocked the second time around, unable to make more obviously different accounts to blank himself
for about 100 years forever.
Bandsmapedia; or "Shit Gets Desperate"
As CWCfags tend to be, followers of RJ were the classic unfunny, unaware asspies that didn't understand what made retarded people funny or interesting to read about, and figured if they just made a wiki filled with random, mundane facts about RJ, the epic ween would just sort of flow in on its own. Thus was born, Bandsmapedia - a.k.a. EpicWeenypedia or UnfunnyTryHards.com.
Also like CWCfags, they were completely wrong, and what started off as an orchestrated tard-torture plot devolved into furious self-fellatio by the self trolls that took it upon themselves to spread RJ's antics around the internet.
A legend is born.
Deciding that the Bandsmapedia was the most hilarious shit ever, the Badniks rushed to every corner of the internet to show everyone all those sweet sweet lulz they had to share! Indeed, so eager were they to share their lolcow with the world that they boldly ventured onto 789chan's /cwc/ board to share him with the trolls there. Unfortunately for them, however, even after much samefagging on their part, advertising RJ Bandsma as the next Chris-chan, the trolls seemed uninterested. In fact, it seemed to the people of 789chan that the real lulz lay with the Badniks, rather than their erstwhile target...
After much squabbling amongst themselves and many betrayals from within, the highly professional trolling outfit that was the Bandsmapedia was eventually brought down by the very website it was built on, Wikkii, for violating guidelines regarding cyberbullying.
And nothing of value was lost.
- Epic Ween
- Shit nobody cares about
- People article
- Unsuccessful troll was unsuccessful
- The YouTube Thomas Club
- - Has no videos whatsoever on it
RJ Bandsma is part of a series on YouTube.