Rate Your Music

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Typical Rate Your Music user in its natural habitat.

Rate Your Music, affectionately known as RYM, is a website where indiefucks, metalheads and Soulseek users go to, well, rate their music. It was founded by a Muslim immigrant in Seattle on Christmas Day 2000 after being inspired by the grunge movement long after it had died, and the world has never looked back since.


The site basically involves a huge database of every release by every musical artist ever, unless you released it yourself and it wasn't on a real record label. Users can then rate the release on a "marks out of 5 stars" scale. This system is abused, however, by the metalheads who rate every Metallica, Slayer and Megadeth album five stars, causing butthurt to the indiefucks who are autistic enough to rate their music honestly and write TL;DR psuedointellectual diatribes about what they thought of the record whilst maintaining their cool and "hipster irony", instead of "THIS RECORD IS FUCKING BRUTAL. GET IT NOW!" or similar. The other side of the site is composed of thousand of aging faggots unironically giving 5 stars to every album by U2, R.E.M., Fleetwood Mac, and every other release only someone having a mid-life crisis would listen to in a desperate attempt to regain their lost youth. And, of course, Radiohead.

I absolutely detest Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, Evanescence, R.E.M., Joe Cocker, Jewel, Nick Cave, Matchbox 20, Meatloaf, Roxette, Scorpions, Shania Twain, Sonic Youth, The Hives, Counting Crows, Incubus, Maroon 5, Staind, Creed, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz, Black-Eyed Piss, Kate-Bush imitator Tori Amos, girl-on-guitar plinka-plonka crap such as Lisa Loeb or Fiona Apple, atonal nu-metal such as Slipknot and System Of A Down, boy-group metal a la Papa Roach and Linkin Park, "still got da blues" dullards like Eric Clapton and Gary Moore, devoid-of-emotion-ballad-manufacturers like Phil Collins, Rod Stewart and Keane, high-pitched hysterical screaming by pseudo-r'n'b sirens such as Alicia Keys, Anastacia, Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey, spoilt little pseudo-rebel lolita-"punks" such as Avril Lavigne and Pink, primitive truck-drivers' blue-collar rock such as Bruce Springsteen, John C. Melloncamp, The Black Crowes and Bryan Adams, ugly neo-Americana rock a la Hootie & The Blowfish and Nickelback, apathetic/sleepy pop-for-comatose-yuppies a la Dido and Norah Jones, laughable baby-punk such as Green Day, Good Charlotte, and Offspring, worthless DJs with family connections such as Moby, hip-hop/rap…

… and any other manure ejected in very large brownish quantities into the mainstream media by talentless charlatans. Fortunately for them, around 95% of the buying public are tone-deaf peasants. Sheep are made for shaving...


—Typical pretentious music snob that inhabits RYM

There are also large numbers of foreign language reviews, and some of these even get frontpaged (the American admins always frontpage at least one review written in a language they don't understand, because, well, multiculturalism). RYM is also well known for frontpaging the deaths of every musician in every fucking genre ever, even if nobody really cared about them in the first place, meaning that the site always has a morose feel to it.


Users can make their own lists of whatever they want, generating endless cruft and trivia. However the lists of most contention are those involving the best albums of all times. Whilst Crazy Frog has the worst album of all time according to RYM, the greatest tends to alternate between so-called classic albums by The Beatles, Radiohead, Bob Dylan and jazz artists.

External Links

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