Raukue's cum tastes
Raukue (or David), an obese Mexican gay furry with pedophilic tendencies, is perhaps one of the saddest examples of a human being to exist in this modern world. Basically, imagine every single bad quality you can about a person, and you get Raukue. Raukue was Born and Raised in West Texas, home to the icon of gay, Cowboys. Despite being a faggot, Raukue is prejudiced against bisexuals, because they 'have sex with everybody'. Of course, by Raukue logic, this means he's slept with all the little boys in the world, simply because he's attracted to them. Oh snap!
It shouldn't be surprising to find out that Raukue has zero percent of an IRL social life, saying 'he hasn't touch another human in years'. It has also been revealed that Raukue never leaves the house (vampire?), and is unemployed. Raukue has never had a friend ever in his life, and is currently being the furry leech that he is, suckling the teat of his parents' income like a selfish fuck.
It is shown that Raukue's parents are as equally fucktarded as he is for allowing Raukue to eat their income like the fat, greasy quarter pounders that he buys with it. Of course, if they were sensible parents, they would toss Raukue out on his ass and tell him to stop being such a chronic masturbating furfag, but this isn't likely to happen any time soon. Also, according to Raukue, his sister is a stupid skanky whore. It's said that Raukue's family carries the deadly fail gene, much to the chagrin of lulzologists.
Raukue is also a virgin, as are most people so royally fucked up as he. He almost lost his virginity when his previous boytoy was blowing his dick one night, but the little boy stopped after five minutes, because the concept of a shower is a mystery to poor Raukue. The only logical explanation for it even lasting one second is that the poor kid was blindfolded, and his blindfold slipped off after the shota's face was smashed into Raukue's massive fat folds enough times.
Although Raukue is only 19, the signs that he is a pedophile are obvious. Being sure only to draw characters that look under the age of 10, Raukue has violated the likes of Pokemon, Digimon, Neopets, Cave Story, Hamtaro, Maplestory , Yoshi, and Miles "Tails" Prower & Chao from Sonic the Hedgehog numerous times. If that wasn't enough, they're all drawn to have tiny, horribly pointy dicks, and he always refers to the characters in his drawings as 'little boys'. To defend his love for little boys, Raukue claims that all boys 'seem gay anyway', which in Raukue logic, means they're free for the raping. Hell, they want it as far as Raukue is concerned. Everybody gay!
Raukue also loves spooge. No really, he loves it. He even loves it to the point where he 'paws' to videos of horses blowing their load all over the place, and blowing his load onto his stomach rolls and never cleaning it off until he bathes again. Considering all the things Raukue is (a furry, pedophile, zoophile, faggot, fat and a basement dweller), he could be considered a double-triple threat. This could also be applied in weight terms, meaning, he's extremely fucking fat. It's likely that if approached about this, Raukue would outright deny it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. His MSN is located at [email protected] if you want to bug the shit out of him about it, Raukue on YIM, or raukuegenki on AIM.
Raukue x Ryo
Raukue also apparently has a boytoy named Ryo, who he interestingly enough didn't start drawing porn of until his 18th birthday (poor kid; they're taken so young~). Although both Raukue and Ryo are technically of age, Raukue still draws both of them with enlarged babydicks, because as stated, Raukue wishes Ryo was an innocent little boy. Thanks to the sick fuckery of what we know as the internet, Raukue has been able to achieve his fantasy.
Raukue and Ryo broke up sometime around the end of May, but Raukue refuses to talk about it, because he's just too shy. Now that Raukue has been freed of his furry tether, he's now slutting around the furry community, sucking the cock of anyone who will let him. What's even sadder is the fact that despite they were broken up, Ryo continued to draw porn of Raukue, due to mourning the loss of his hot, hot, Charmander bod. Immediately after Raukue drew porn of himself fellating a random furfag, they decided to get back together, because Raukue is a lonely individual
Raukue has made claims that he 'almost' met Ryo IRL, but this is obviously a lie, since it would ruin the illusion that he's getting it on with a prepubescent. Raukue claims that his life will become magically perfect as soon as he meets up with Ryo, because he depends on other people for his happiness. Recently, Ryo left his basement to go visit Raukue in Texas for a month, and says he won't be on the internet much. We here at ED greatly await the failed sex stories that can only come from this experience.
Update: Visit over. As soon as Ryo was a safe distance from Raukue, he dumped Raukue. They are still "Friends" because Ryo's a pussy about hurting anyone. Someone - that is most certainly not a albino cabbit - who knows them both also heard news Ryo got attacked at least once during the visit, via Falcon Punch to the arm during an argument. At a mere 50% damage, Ryo was able to crawl back onto the stage via a double jump and recite bible lines to make Rau cry for what he done. K.O. Visit ended a few days after.
Raukue Wants You to Draw Him
Around the end of March, Raukue stated that he wants people to draw him, but in a very specific way. This meant;
- Raukue's character must not participate in acts of scat, guro, watersports, bondage or vore.
- If you're going to include someone else in the picture, you MUST draw him sodomizing Ryo. MUST. Although other people in the picture are fine too, if they're fapping to the massive amount of faggotry.
- Remembering not to mistake him with Charmander, as I'm sure in real life he looks very much like a tiny little red lizard from Pokemon.
This of course meant that he wants you to do the complete opposite. Remember, we are dealing with furries here, and furries have a twisted sense of logic. In response to this, all resident Encyclopedia Dramatica artists are encouraged to contribute to this. Make sure to...
- Include at least two of the fetishes Raukue mentions above
- Include him and his boytoy for two extra letter grades
- Stamp 'Raukue is copyright Pokemon' somewhere on the picture.
If you feel dirty afterwards, bathe until the point where your skin has taken to the resemblance of a 80 year old woman. Remember, it can just be really fucking violent and not sexual.
Raukue Tells it All
A few months ago, EDiot Pokchu went undercover to get as much embarrassing information out of Raukue as possible. Because Raukue is a lonely, gullible idiot, he immediately opened up to Pokchu, and told him all of his embarrassing character traits.
Encounters with Raukue IRL
Some time during the month of May, in a daring move, Raukue put one foot out the door (no doubt while holding a large umbrella over his head, to shield him from the villain that is sunlight) to go mingle with people he met online at some furfag meet called Prancing Skiltaire. Not surprisingly, Raukue sat in the corner the whole time with his laptop, because socializing with people, to Raukue, is like injecting heroin into your face.
According to an Anonymous source, Raukue really is fat, stubby and pale in real life, and apparently Hispanic. He likes to constantly complain that he's in pain when he tries to walk, bringing up the question of how he uses the bathroom. While there, Ardy decided to IRL troll him and raped Raukue, and forced Raukue to perform oral on him. Raukue of course didn't care he was being raped, because any sex is good sex. According to the source, Raukue actually gives excellent head, due to him being hungry all the time, and not hesitating when it comes to wolfing on some cock.
FUCK YOU, I'M A RABBIT!
In a strange turn of events, Raukue decided to prove once and for all that fursonas mean absolutely nothing. With a snap of his chubby, greasy fingers, he changed from a faggy Charmander with weeaboo hair to...a hare with weeaboo hair. And leather. It is unknown if Raukue will ever accept the fact that he's a HYOOMAN like the rest of us, but as he slowly distances himself from reality, it seems as though Raukue is doomed to remain a furry forever. Some argue that Raukue did this because he thinks changing fursonas will help him escape his disastrous past, because running from your problems is better than actually dealing with them. Oh, Raukue.
As if Raukue wasn't already royally fucked up enough, he also enjoys writing little back stories for his cub porn. Because we here at ED
do not care care about your mental sanity, here they are all, intact. PROTIP: If you're ever in need of images to flood during raids, Raukue's art is always a reliable source of vomit inducing shit, now wash your eyes with this.
"Totodile was playing in the pond and his friend Charmander comes along. The two talk about each others day, the Charmander staying out of the water the whole time of course. Then awkward silence induces. Totodile then tries to convince Charmander to play in the water with him. As playful as Totodile is, jumping up and sitting on Charmander's lap, bouncing about, causing Charmander to get hard. His cock slides into Totodiles tailhole, he squirms and pops up in surprise. The two look at each other, Charmander covering his goods. Totodile then shyly creeps up to Charmander, and removes his paws from his member..."
"Since Dugtrio have no paws, there is only one way to masturbate and that is to rub their cocks together. What they hide underground is a mystery. Maybe gigantic balls? They are perhaps using Magnitude, level 10."
"Esequiel finds Tails in an ice cream shop and he instantly is turned on. He befriends Tails and asks him if he would like to meet some guys he knows. Tails agree's and Esequiel brings him to a small alley. Out comes a Mimiga, Hamtaro, and Cappy come out and Tails becomes a bit freaked. The Mimiga grabs tails from behind and whispers dirty words to Tails and slowly sits him down..."
"Roy was just training in the woods for a few hours and became exhausted and fell asleep suddenly on his belly. He awoke to a strange, painful, yet pleasurable feeling. It was another Charmander named Zack, impaling his tight pucker. This Zack was told to do this by Dark Zack, in which he, too, joined in, after promising he wouldn't do that to him."
"Gabumon came to visit Veemon. Veemon was no where to be found so Gabumon looked around the house and found Veemon sleeping on his bed with some morning wood. Gabumon couldn't resist and and started to play with the cute V. It took some time before Veemon woke up to find his friend humping him softly and being sucked and pawed."
"Squirtle, Minun, and Pachirisu always went into the school pool early, before anyone else, just never on the same day. But one day, they found each other all in there. The play their pool games, having fun, then all got out, and found Minun with a hard-on. He blushed, yet was playful and started to play with his cute lil member. Soon after, Squirtle and Pachirisu got their own cute hot hard-ons, and played with each other. They got deeply into it the more they played with each other."
"Haruno and Haku are in the school halls after class has started. Haruno tells Haku that he can make him feel good. Haku, as curious as he is asks how. Slowly, Haruno places his arm around Haku, Haku uneasy at first and blushing and unsure of what is going to happen just allows Haruno to do what he wishes with him..."
Lulzy comments on his DA/FA
- Raukue's FurAffinity account
- Raukue's DevianTART account EMPTY
- Anthrostar account
Raukue's y!Gallery account
- His ex-boyfriend
- His Paheal
Raukue is part of a series on
Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.
Raukue is part of a series on
Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.
|Featured article April 10, 2007|