Raveneagel

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Marquez Jackson, an aspiring author.

Raveneagel (PROTIP: It should be spelled 'Eagle', if you're too retarded to catch on) is another example of what happens when you vapor-lock onto the asshole of the Internet and suck the feces right out of it. Being one of the nastier Suethors that the Interwebz has to offer, he is a large reservoir of lulz and drama. His IRL name is Marquez Jackson, and on multiple occasions refers to himself as the greatest writer in the entire fucking universe. And everyone thought that My Immortal was bad.


Character Traits

Marquez Jackson is a typical nigger. He loves fried chicken and watermelon, and hates whites/mexicans/jews. As well, he calls out anyone who doesn't agree with him or doesn't think his shit writing is the best thing in the world as racist. He also is a devout Christian, but has no fucking concept of the bible.

imma Wiserd

imma Wiserd is a collection of racist, illiterate trash that raveneagle believes is the bee's motherfucking knee's. The grammar and spelling is absolutely atrocious, and actually reading through it is near impossible. So far, it spans 48 chapters, although Marquez is at his mama's baby's daddy house and won't be able to update until Thanksgiving. imma Wiserd has an amazingly stereotypical and one-dimensional character cast, as you can listen to here:

Chs 1 to 3

Ch 4 which won't fucking embedd

Ch 5

Chs 6 and 7

After his latest b&, raveneagel has come roaring back under his new username! His brilliant story can be found [1]--back it up soon, since it's a matter of time before this fucktard is kicked off again.

Characters

Turtle

The main character, and a complete Gary Stu. He is the greatest black magician in his class, and has a dragon patronis. He also has the ability to summon fried chicken and watermelon, and because of which he is widely thought of as the "greatest wiserd ive ever seen!!!!". He is a member of Ravenclaw, although when he goes back in time he is switched to Griffondor. As well, he is the star player on the Ravenclaw Quittich team, to the extent of defeating all the other houses, the death eaters and the kukluxklan all at the same time. In the first chapter, he kicked out of his house because his mother is scared of his amazing powers.

In the story, he has died multiple times, only to be completely fine in the next chapter. Once he even meets God, only to be sent back to Earth to "kill dat evil jew hu killd mi only son".

Vadermort

A constant mispelling of Voldemort (note misspelling is misspelled lulz) . He is the superior officer to Hitler, Wolfman and Dracula, as well as commands the Death Eater armies. He is the main antangonist, and is a money hungry Jew. Having a douplganger position at Hogwarts as Professor Snape, a secret that he sells out for 5 dollars. Being a Jew, he flies a giant dollar bill.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter is a nigger who was played by a white boy in the movies to satisfy the racist audience. He teaches Turtle how to play broomsticks, as well as shows him around Hogwarts and introduces him to all the pretty girls. He is killed after Turtle's first Quittich game, and afterwards is left a ghost and turned white.

Shequaz

Snape's negro twin brother. When they were born, Shequaz came out black, while Snape came out Jewish, and Snape hated niggers ever since.

Herman

Hermione, Turtle's bitch. Her patronis is a pink vaccume cleaner, and she refuses a trip back in time because they didn't have sewing machines back then. Eventually, she cheats on Turtle for Draco, causing the former to cry like a pussy. she also likes having Goatse with anyone with $5 dollars in their pocket (a.k.a. hoe)

Jesus in imma Wiserd.

Jesus

That's right motherfucker, Jesus. He's the greatest wizard of his time, being able to magically heal people, and also create "big red balls".

Josef, in all his faggotry.

Josef

A homosexual prefect of Hufflepuff. His full name is Josef Gay Buttsex, named after his Grandfather 'Gay', and holding the noble crest of the Buttsecks family. He wears a magical faggot coat that allows him to fire rainbows from his fingers. Josef was actually the first homosexual, as he was the one that invented gay buttsex, which he later won the Wizard Nobel Prize award for.

Bradberry and Steven

Josef's two butt buddies. Bradberry wears a colorful top hat, as well as a mustache and a monocule. One day, Bradberry accidentally sat on his monicule, shoving it up his asshole. Out of desperation, Josef shoved his cock up Bradberry's asshole to fish it out. This later lead to the invention of gay butt sex.

Steven has big gay muscles, and only wears a rainbow thong. He never really does jack shit.


And there are many, many more, but sadly this page can't hold all the faggotry.

Other Stories

  • Winnie da pooh an da mystery: Marquez Jackson also wrote an equally shitty fanfic for Winne The Pooh. You fucking heard me. Winne the Goddamn Pooh. Thankfully, it's only one chapter.

It starts off with Pooh and the gang trying to get some honey. Then Turtle comes in, and Pooh mistakens him for his brother 'Nigger the Pooh'. Then a heffalump pwns their asses.


  • imma wiserd da side storee: da tanksgivin crime: After Fanfiction.net deleted "'imma wiserd' Marquez decided to write an equally shitty story about its deletion. So far, there are nine chapters.

The Pope is distraught when he finds out 'imma wiserd' has been taken off the site, so he hires Sherlock Holmes to "get his ass down to hogwats an find da mothafukka who did dis!!!"


  • imma wiserd: da first chrismas: Some shit about a gay snowman in Egypt who doesn't know how to have buttsex. There's only one chapter.

Forums

Raveneagel has made a collection of forums to promote himself. Although, they're fucking useless because he'll edit your posts if you even hint that he's not a literary God.

mi stories

   
 
here all mi adorin fans daz u gaiz can talk 2 mi abot mi storees
 

 
 

—Marquez Jackson.

blak ppl talk

   
 
here we can tak about us niggers . WARNING" dis forum might not b suitible 4 crackers
 

 
 

—Marquez Jackson.

cracker speek

   
 
here all u crackers can talk. dont worry i wont look.
 

 
 

—Marquez Jackson.

Raveneagel on the Internets

Raveneagel also has a Quizilla account, on which he has an 'imma Wiserd' test. (PROTIP: If you answer the first question 'Marquez Jackon', you automatically pass the test.)) He also posted a quiz to test if you're black, as well as both of his stories.

The test

Trolling With imma Wiserd

You're probably asking "What can imma Wiserd do for me?". Well, it can be a rather effective trolling tool. Just follow these simple steps:

  1. Join a Black/Christian community forum/site and pose as the author of imma Wiserd, providing a link.
  2. If members complain about how the link is offinsive, post back at them about how you are feeling oppressed.
  3. Belittle other memeber's posts by posting back inserts from imma Wiserd, providing a link. (Example: no! jesus aktualli luved gayz bcuz he wuz best frends wit josef!!!!!111 u can c in mi stori!!!!)
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!


Or...


  1. Post a link to imma Wiserd on a Christian/Black community forum along with the words "So, I heard one of you guys wrote this great piece of literature?"
  2. If they deny it, insist that the author said he was from that forum/site.
  3. Start asking individual members if they were the ones that wrote it because they "Seemed like a type to write great literature like this."
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!

See Also

External Links