Donate to ED • Donors • Advertise on ED
Ray Gordon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Gordon Roy Parker, a/k/a Ray Gordon, is a 45 year old semi-well known Usenet kook and YouTube user that lived with his mother in West Philadelphia.
Contents |
On USENET
One of Gordon's first notable acts was when he harassed a woman named Tabitha Hassell into moving in order to get away from him. Gordon has also been known to try to solicit underage gymnasts to convince them to let him coach them. He also posts fanfic that revolves around himself torturing, raping and killing young gymnasts. alt.seduction.fast became his favorite group soon after he discovered it, and his life revolved around it ever since.
Right after the jews did wtc, Gordon quickly proclaimed that there was no significant loss of life in those towers. Gordon quickly took steps to remove the posts from the Google Groups archive, but the posts were saved thanks to several people reposting them all over the usenets.
On YouTube
In 2010, as part of his attempt to transform himself into the next Chris-Chan, Gordon got himself a state-of-the-art-in-1997 video camera and uploaded some videos to his YouTube account. Prior to this, however, he hired a woman named Princess Jodie to make several videos for him to post on his account that totaled less than one minute combined. The whereabouts of these videos at present are unknown, but many believe that Gordon's fapping to them while sobbing at his permavirgin status.
On Yahoo Groups
Gordon first discovered the internet outside of usenet in 2002 when he created the Yahoo group The Seduction Library. The group has been abandoned since 2003.
In 2007, Gordon tried creating another Yahoo group called Project 5,000, with the stated goal of attaining 5,000 members so that he could collect $10 from each of them. The current membership count of 78 is slightly less than the stated goal.
E-lawyer
Gordon fancies himself a lawyer, as evidenced by the multiple lawsuits he has filed (and lost) over the years. One of the most notable ones was where he tried to sue Google for $10,000,000,000 (THAT'S TEN FUCKING BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!). Shockingly, he didn't win his $10,000,000,000 jackpot.
Not to be discouraged, Gordon then filed suit against Microsoft and Yahoo for a mere $150,000.
Other victims^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hdefendants of Gordon include the University of Pennsylvania and several thousand people named John Doe.
On Encyclopedia Dramatica
On December 22nd, 2011, Gordon Roy Parker discovered that someone had written an article about him and posted it to Encyclopedia Dramatica. In a stroke of genius, Gordon came up with the brilliant idea of creating an Encyclopedia Dramatica account and deleting all the content within the article. One can only speculate as to how much Gordon cried when is brilliant plan failed.
Family
Gordon lived with his mother from the time he was born (~1966) until her death in 2007. Gordon was so upset by her death that he referred to it as a vacation on one of his blogs. At one point, someone tried to alert Gordon's mother to her son's activities, but Gordon somehow managed to interpret this as a death threat.
Gordon is also alleged to have a brother named Walter, however nobody has been able to verify this, beyond a few posts by someone claiming to be Walter in 2001 & 2002.
Ray's self-proclaimed careers
At various times in the past, Gordon has claimed to be:
- Pro gymnastics coach - Claims to train several gymnasts online
- Pro chess player and/or chess coach - Only a bit shy of becoming World Champion. Also claims to be Internationally ranked Note: the USCF has NO listing of him on their website. According to information we have, Ray's old rating exists, but his membership is not current.
- Pro handicapper and oddsmaker - According to his web site
- Pro finance market analyzer - According to his web site
- Pro relationships adviser - Teaches men "how to get laid"
- Pro hypnotist and hypnosis instructor - Harasses and bad mouths female hypnotists
- Writer - Writes a book about seduction, horse racing and Dominique Moceanu
- Best secretary in the USA - But got fired because he wasn't an "office whore"
- Paralegal - Pennsylvania requires some sort of professional certification, but Ray doesn't know that.
- Activist against child abuse and sexual harassment - Claims that gymnastics coaches are child abusers
- Professional psychic - And still doesn't have a clue about the Editorial Staff of RayFAQ
- Civil Rights Activist - Claims that hiring discrimination has prevented him from being employed. Filed suit against UPenn. Hmmm...
- Journalist - Not accredited by any news agency, though.
- Software Company CEO & entrepreneur - Own company, of course
- Successful business owner - Also known as broke, and filed bankruptcy in 1997.
- Internet guru - He can't read headers on Usenet posts, but he's learning.
- Sports historian - Hmm...
- Body builder - And of course extremely good looking
- Jesus Christ - Only in past life though.
- Skilled Hypnotist - Claims to be able to "Gain TOTAL Sexual Control" over women
Other Links
- The OFFICIAL SITE of Ray Gordon!! - Where he tries to sell you several e-books.
- Gordon's Youtube account
- A somewhat disorganized page detailing some of Gordon's activities, including 121(!) of Gordon's socks
- News story about Gordon losing his ten billion dollar lolsuit against Google
- Link to the dismissal of Gordon's suit against Google


