From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Ray Jones is a jolly fellow from Corpus Christi Texas who is openly and proudly in love with Gadget Hackwrench from Chip n Dale's Rescue Rangers, making him a Rangerphile. However, worse than most Rangerphiles, Ray actually believes he is in a monogamous relationship with this cartoon character despite having a wife, children, and grandchildren.
He has been known, and in fact has openly admitted to, dressing members of his family as characters from Rescue Rangers, doubtless for some sinister and twisted purpose, as well as producing a staggering amount of artwork detailing what can only be called a pathological obsession with Gadget. The sheer volume of his "art", as well as his single-minded dedication to the insane idea of loving a cartoon character and his vocal support of recruiting others to this cause, has led him to become the God-Emperor of all Rangerphilia, worshiped and adored by all the degenerate retards that practice the perversion.
Just remember, kids: It's not nice to fuck mice.
Official Statement from Ray Jones
Taken from his FurAffinity Blog.
First, while I have created a few original characters, all my art revolves around Gadget Hackwrench, who is copyright Disney. Obviously, there are legal issues. Why not create a mouse character and work with her instead of Gadget. Doesn't work that way. My feelings are for *Gadget*. She is the one I am motivated to pick up my pencil for, to moderate websites for, to toil hours for with no possibility of any compensation other than to lay my work at her tiny feet as a love-offering.
The problem is that I am serious about my work with her and I do a great deal of G-rated work as well. I plan to do much more pron and much more family-friendly art and stories in the future. My family friendly activities have been negatively impacted by my X-rated work. There are deviantART who will not allow me to post their art in the G-rated Rescue Ranger fan calendar I assemble each month because of it. Other Gadget artists will not even talk to me on that account. This in no way shakes my confidence that my work is basically *right* but sometimes I do feel that it costs me something.
There is the family thing, too, of course. I have a wife, two sons and a couple of grandchildren. My wife and sons are aware of my work. I cannot say they are happy about it, but since they know it is part of my creative impulses, they are willing to put up with it. I would hate, however, to have any repercussions from it cause *them* any problems or discomfort. Again, I cannot help but feel there is a potential cost there.
Work hasn't really been in the equation. Some of my coworkers know of my art, but I don't think they consider my G-rated pictures any weirder than my smut.
Okay, before getting into the next part, let me emphasize that I am not subject to hallucinations or anything. I am perfectly well aware that Gadget does not really exist. "She" is physically only a collection of drawings. But I have in my mind an image of her, her behavior and personality. Sometimes I feel that she has developed from the TV cartoon into a sexually mature young lady mouse. She has the same needs and wants for a healthy, vigorous, and nurturing sex life as any other strong and energetic young woman. And I have tried in all my work to give her that life. We all need to be loved. But I think it is just as important to find someone in life who is worthy of our love to whom to give it. But on the other hand, that is quite different from the Gadget of the original series. Sometimes I am torn by the feeling that she would not want to be so open about it, that that would be contradictory to her basic personality. That, for all the heart and warmth I try to put into my work "she" would still not care for such a public expression of it. that I am forcing her to fit my own ideas and opinions and disregarding hers. That dichotomy does hurt sometimes after a short period, I changed my mind and came back to it again.
There are any number of motives. For one thing, as Priest mentioned, there is sheer physical desire. I love Gadget. I admit it. If that makes me insane, so be it. I gain so much more than I lose. I ache to show that love in both porn and in G-rated work. All theories about artistic freedom and freedom of expression aside, we all know that there is, in our society, an inherent conflict between the two. That is a flaw in our society."
Moar from another blog
I am a Rangerphile. I am 51 years old with college degrees in biology and chemistry. I am married and have grown children of my own in college now. I have a Rescue Ranger website and do original art...I have a collection of RR books and toys. In short, I have reached a point in life where I feel I am free to recognize what I like and free to say so.
For the critics, I have something to say which is for your own good. Please understand that I am not trying to injure you or cause you irreparable harm, but rather to teach you something about life. Here goes:
You don't like my RR "obsession" and consider me and my brethren nerds and worse.
Deep breath now.
I. Don't. Care.
That's right. Means absolutely nothing to me. I know what I like about the cartoon series, what it means to me artistically, psychologically, and imaginatively and I do not need anyone else's validation for it. It's called "self insight" and is probably THE most politically incorrect of all states. For some of you this may be an almost apocalyptic revelation, but for your own good, there it is.
Now, I recommend that all of the fashionably dressed, properly "big grown up boy now", pseudo-cool types stop here, lest it get even worse.
Proceed at your own risk!
You were warned!
"RESCUE RANGERS AWAY!" --- Ray Jones
He has also written fapfiction about Gadget. One may wonder how a mouse and a human can fuck, but he illustrates how in horrible drawings of himself and Gadget (though he never jammed it in because even Ray's tiny shriveled dick is too large for the average mouse). Through these, his urethral fetish was discovered and is begging to be exploited.
Ray Jones suffers from a falsely inflated ego, thinking everyone on the internet is just foaming at the mouth to see his art or read his fapfiction. Nobody does though, mainly because all his work centers around himself: yes, he self-inserts his old fat ass into almost everything he does.
Ray moderates a forum called The Acorn Cafe about the Rescue Rangers. All of the "Rangerphiles" there have no life and hate /b/tards. His lulz potential is just above 9,000. The best way to help milk this lulzcow is to try to obtain personal information by contacting him through his sites.
People in his life
Ray has a wife; she does not like his porn. Maybe this is because he draws her as a fat mouse-whore who fucks that stupid fat character that likes cheese? Perhaps. It could also be because Ray openly admits all over the internets that he actually loves this crappy cartoon character more than his wife.
Ray also has two sons that are grown with kids, both know he loves a cartoon to some extent - but only in the "wtf" and not the "OMG get away from my childrens" sort of way. Perhaps someone should send them some nice letters, since his friend Alexreynard accidentally doc dropped him in his FurAffinity journal.
We know one of his daughter-in-laws knows about his sick obsession to some extent as well. According to the other "Rangerphile", she apparently is the person who actually sewed the Gadget costume Ray's grandchild was wearing. If only she knew Grandpa Ray wrote a 36-page comic about fucking that same cartoon character. Creepy.
We also now know according to his long journal post on Yiff Gallery that is co workers actually know a bit about this as well. Needless to say, Ray does not realize how insane he is, and shares his art with everyone that will look for more then 5 seconds. After which they promptly RUN AWAY.
Ray states "Work hasn't really been in the equation. Some of my coworkers know of my art, but I don't think they consider my G-rated pictures any weirder than my smut."
Uh huh, Ray. Keep telling yourself that, old man.
The True Victim
The true victim in all of this faggotry has to be his poor neglected wife, Imelda. What lady would tolerate this sort of OPEN insanity from her husband? The man mentions their names all over the tubes, making Ray's whacked out Rangerphile lifestyle completely open to the whole world to bask in awe of. He draws LOTS of porn of a children's cartoon character that he himself did not even watch as a child. Not just naked sweet anthropomorphic toon mouse bootie + tit pics, but pages....PAGES of fan comics about him fucking a 5" animal. He buys old crusty toys of the doll online that some child used to drool on and has tea parties with them, probably while she is at work or sewing his latest cum rag.
The icing on Ray's twisted cake is that he actually includes her in his porn. No, he does not draw porn of him fucking her for 40 pages in ponds of sparkling roses, she is some sort of whore-mouse named "Jalapeña" that looks like she is about to go to a rave, is a waitress, and fucks the fat mouse character Monty. Could she fuck one of the chipmunks who is apparently quite the penis eye-candy for Rangerphiles? NO! NO PRIME CHIPMUNK DICK 4 YOU IMELDA!!! You get the fat one that likes cheese and hangs out with a bug.
The sad thing about some of the pages that Internet geniuses have dug up is that we don't even need to add text to some of them to lulz off the computer chair. We will let the actual quotes from his pieces about "Jalapena" do the rest of the talking......
- "He paid me ten dollars. Ten dollars for my virginity! Bastard! It was probably the smallest bill he had on him."
- "I followed the smell of food to the dumpster back in the motel restaurant. In my whole life, that was the best meal I ever had."
- "I did it a few times until the one guy - a squirrel - asked me why the hell I was selling myself so cheap."
Awesome Fanart! It only took him 54 years to draw that good!
Ray is a master of digitally rendering illustrations; that's why we hate him so much. /b/tards say this art a 54 year old man draws about a cartoon character gives them epic lulz, but the Rangerphiles have figured out that the chans are full of shit and they actually LOVE his sexy, hairy, mouse-on-man art! You are correct Rangerphiles! You win TEH INTERNETS
After Ray found out several art enthusiasts had become fans of his adult art and wanted to share his hidden gems to his forum BFF, he did the noble thing and beat them to the punch. He stated to his peers that he was now officially going to quit drawing his magnificent adult work 4 EVER and just let it fade away on the internets. We, however, feel that they are a great value to art as we know it and wish to archive it so future generations may admire it
Some of Ray's amazing artwork
|Ray's Pix||About missing Pics|
Ray is teh smart
However, no matter how Smart Ray is....even he can't divide by zero. Scratch that he is actually wrong and obviously failed Calc 1. That limit DNE and only approaches positive infinity from the right. Resume believing he is a fucktard.
His Shit Comic + Urethral Fetish
|Lolwut?||About missing Pics|
Everyone knows you have to be a great writer before you can be a decent comic author. Ray Jones proves he's no slouch with his own fanfic about fucking Gadget in some other way than in his original comic. Prime lulz in here. Click HERE to read this beautiful tale of love and a powerful bond that can never be broken.
UPDATE: /co/ has thoughtfully provided fanfiction about Ray.
Imelda looked up from her book as she heard the door open. Her husband Ray poked his head through. "Hey, honey. Want to watch Rescue Rangers with me?" She smiled politely and shook her head. "No thank you. Aren't you... Forgetting something?" He thought for a moment. "Popcorn? I could always make some for you. You like the healthy diet stuff, don't you?" She sighed. "No. Go watch your cartoon." She said, resentment seeping into her voice. He didn't notice and shrugged. "Alright. If you change your mind..." He closed the door and left the room. She tried to read more but didn't feel like reading any more. She flipped to a page with a picture and stared at it, thinking of other things. She thought of when she was a child. All she had wanted(other than a flying pony, but what little girl didn't?) was a prince to come and sweep her into his arms into his palace where they'd live happily ever after. As she got older her fantasies had sobered. A kind man with a sense of humor that would always be there for her, love her for who she was. She felt a sob coming, but pushed it down. She closed her book. She felt an urge to throw it against the wall, but waited a moment and gently placed it on her nightstand. She pulled the string of the lamp and pulled the cozy blanket over herself. She heard the cartoon in the living room, and before she knew it tears were rolling down her face, and she started sobbing. It was their anniversary.
FYI when ray Bites the Big One, Imelda is going to have quite a lulzy yard sale.
Gadget Hackwrench's Official Response to Ray Jones' Obsession of Gadget
Mousefucker is back
After being reminded over 9,000 times that fucking mice is wrong, it seemed that Ray Jones had finally realized how much of a sick fuck he really is. He proceeded to announce that he was done drawing Gadget porn for good. Only the Rangerphiles were left to bawwww while the rest of the Internets rejoiced. Unfortunately, this was all a lie.
To nobody's surprise, Ray returned to his sick and twisted world of Gadget erotica, much to the disgust of the entire Internets. It's like a typical story of a drug addict who can't stay away from the shit. But this involves a 60 year old furfag, rule 34 involving Gadget Hackwrench, and a urethra fetish instead. Things only got worse when Ray made a sequel to Cheer Up Gadget called Gadget's Space Stories. But before the Internets could shit itself yet again, most of the Gadget porn magically disappeared. It was deleted by Ray in an attempt to thwart any possible shitstorm that would've developed as a result of his latest fucked up work. Too bad for Ray the comic is still a piece of shit regardless.
He has uploaded this to his new FurAffinity account.
Ray found a new victim
Also, saved for great justice:
—Ray Jones; a person who loves to fuck small things.
Memorable Ray Quotes
- "SWEET ANTHROPOMORPHIC TOON MOUSE BOOTIE!"
- "Lover-Man, play with yourself! Please!"
- "OH GOLLY! OH GOLLY! OH GOLLY!"
- "QUICK, BITE THE OPENING!!!"
Memorable Quotes From Ray's Victims
AKA: Any poor bastard that has had the misfortune of being sane/NOT a furfag and crossing his path on the internet.
- Go fuck a mousetrap, grandpa!
- JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK!
- Winners Don't Fuck Rodents!
- Those of us reading this see a sick old man who gets his rocks off on a cartoon squirrel, desperately trying to justify his mental illness.
- ...you're a 53 year old man who whacks to Disney cartoons and says 'you forgot to say nyaa nyaa' as a witty rejoinder. And WE'RE the idiots???
- IT BURNS!
- ...There is not enough WTF in the world...
- IT'S NOT NICE TO FUCK MICE
- No mercy for MOUSEFUCKERS!
- PROTIP: If you are going to draw nasty porn of you fucking a cartoon, don't use your full name, put your full name on every jpg., and have all your info in your ID.
- put your pants back on, shut the Hell up, and throw out those naked mice pictures.
- I feel my skin crawl thinking of a grown man sitting down with his two children for some afternoon cartoons...not because he wants to spend quality family time.
- God, I hate you.
- Then. Fuck. Off. And. Die. And. Never. Post. Here. Again. You. Fucking. Pretentious. Piece. Of. Dog. Fucking. Garbage. We. Hate. You. And. We. Love. To. Make. Fun. Of. So. Called. People. Like. You. Who. Waste. Valuable. Bandwidth. On. Shitty. Drawings. Of. Disney. Characters. Naked.
- Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers was a horrendously stupid, boring, unentertaining show that was also very poorly animated and meant to only be viewed by very small children who wouldn't know any better because all they care about seeing on TV is little talking animals frolicking and cavorting. The fact that it means something to you artistically and psychologically means that you are a retard.
- Can't fuck your wife or any real girls grandpa? instead unleashing your lust on a mouse? you should buy a plastic vagina to get laid you sick fuck.
- I hope you burn, you perverted fuck.
- You are the worst of the worst. Even these other furfags dislike you.
- Was God high or something when making Ray Jones?
- In the year 3000, an advanced alien race will attempt to establish peaceful contact with Earth. To estimate the merit of our civilization, the aliens randomly select images created by earthlings. Unfortunately, this image is selected first. The Earth is annihilated with laser beams in under a minute.
- FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK!!!
- I am hurling right now. Quite literally. Yet for some reason I CAN'T FRIGGIN STOP
- 10 bucks says Ray Jones fucks mice with Q-tips IRL while pulling on his flaccid old dong.
- Ray Jones embodies the dark side of Rule 34.
- His wife can never ever go to hell...for she is already living in it
- I think I've just died a little inside
- What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell.
- GET SOME FUCKING IRL PORN GRAMPS!!
An IRC Confession
* Ray_jones has joined #cdrrsecretchat <Chipfan> Ray? You found the new chat? <Ray_jones> Yes, I did. <Ray_jones> I was ashamed for a while, so I didn't know if I was going to or not... <Chipfan> Well...Hey, it's good to see you in here. <Chipfan> it's beena mess, but we forgive you. <Ray_jones> Don't speak just yet, there's something else I have to admit to. <Chipfan> What is it? <Ray_jones> It's even more embarrassing than before... <Chipfan> Whatever it is, we'll understand. Really! <Ray_jones> Okay...I'll tell you. <Chipfan> What is it? <Ray_jones> It's that I...I... <Chipfan> Yes...? <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! THERE I SAID IT AND I'M PROUD! <Chipfan> Oh sheesh...Stupid spammers. <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Chipfan> Man, why do you guys have to do this stuff? <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> Because you guys are sick. <Ray_jones> You want to fuck cartoon animals. <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Chipfan> No, we don't. <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> I'M A MOUSEFUCKER! <Ray_jones> Then why does Ray draw the things he does? <Chipfan> Ray Jones isn't all of us, and besides, he gave that up. <Ray_jones> Sick furfags never really "give it up". <Ray_jones> They're always sick, we're taking you fuckers down. <Chipfan> Go ahead and try, you'll never destroy our sites and you'll never stop all of us. <Ray_jones> lolololololololololololololol, we are legion. <Chipfan> So? <Ray_jones> So Anonymous eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast. <Chipfan> You eat shit for breakfast? o_O <Chipfan> hahahahahahaha <Ray_jones> You'd like it if I did, wouldn't you? ;) <Chipfan> Actually, I like something else for breakfast. <Ray_jones> Yeah? Like what? <Chipfan> Reese's. <Ray_jones> Candy? For Breakfast? <Chipfan> Not candy. Reese's Puffs Cereal! * Chipfan hands Ray_jones a bowl <Chipfan> Try some So I did. I shoved the spoon in my mouth, and a totally bombastic wave of peanut butter and chocolaty taste bombards my taste buds. Reese's Puff Cereal: It's Reese's, FOR BREAKFAST!
And so we learn here that Anonymous is really fucking ADHD.
Shitty Angelfire websiteDeleted
Every comment has been hidden by the admins, except for one that simply reads "MOUSEFUCKER" some 50 or so times - the truth always comes out!
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