|Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more...|
Red Minus, or Jesse Barber is a glowing example of the quality of Newgrounds animators in 2013. His typical animations involve the beloved subjects of lame video game parodies, forced memes and tentacle rape. It's safe to say that Newgrounds has entered a dark age of web animations and Red Minus is its very own black plague. Red plague symptoms are uncommon but tend to include swelling lymph glands around the groin, seizures and chronic unfunniness.
Portrait of a "Artist"
Jesse Barber was born to David and Darlene Barber in London, Ontario and for the last 30 years has lived the glorious, freeloading life of an unemployed hipster with an art school degree. As of now, making animations on Newgrounds is his actual job. . His income comes entirely from Jewtube and a website where he puts memes on T-shirts and sells them. (His wife, Stephanie Barber, on the other hand, is fortunate enough to be a linguistic anthropologist to support her household.)
Creepy Online Persona
Red Minus either thinks he's the cartoon in the picture on the right or believes it's how he comes across irl. He uses this cartoon persona for everything he does online, even to represent him at his goddamn wedding. Coincidentially but not really, his self insert is featured in many of his animations along with his Asian sex slave, Caxx, who he may or may not fuck when Stephanie's not around. Jesse and Caxx are drawn in typical anime fashion and are meant to look "cooler" and "cuter" then their irl counterparts, which is quite easy actually. This hilarious gamer duo is a rare combination of wacky and sarcastic that has never been exploited in the annals of fiction previously.
Red Minus Meme Factory
Every single video Red Minus makes and will make is a desperate attempt to invent a new meme for cashloads of profit! Simply put, his animations are always a foul cocktail of pop culture dookie mixed with WACKY AND RANDUMB hipster humor and the result is unfunny as hell. There are also plenty of random old video game noises forced into a Red Minus video and he also has his avatar wear retro video game shirts (a la Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) so Red Minus can get some extra nerd cred.
This formula can be applied to virtually all of his videos so let's use it. His Pokemon animation, Goldeen likes Guitar consists entirely of dialogue that's so meta, man and characters pulling retarded troll-faces in attempt to get them plastered on a T-shirt. These videos practically beg you to make gifs out of them and post them on imageboards so they spread like a venereal disease. Fortunately, nothing Red Minus has crapped out has ever caught on.
Attack of the Giant Ego
All Red Minus videos are this delicious brand of shit, with the glaring exception of two. The first being Justin Bieber Eats a Piece of Delicious Cake , a piss poor attempt to make a shock video to scare prepubescent fangirls and exemplifies what a truly mature person Mr. Barber is. Because making fun of Justin Bieber is the paragon of originality and the height of humor, right? RIGHT?!.
Jesse's overinflated ego as a competent artist rears its head on Malboro Time, a nineteen minute masturbation session with Jesse bragging about drawing a Marlboro that shows up for all of two seconds in another video. This is the equivalent of Da Vinci bragging about the work he did on a single branch of the tree to the right of the Mona Lisa for nineteen minutes straight.
It goes without saying that Red Minus is lazier than both Tim Buckley and Andrew Dobson as he has not uploaded a video in months despite promising to do so. One must wonder how a dream job like "animator for all your internets" could lead someone to being so cheap, cynical and lazy. Especially when he could have a million spergs sucking his cock and adding to his trust fund.
However, Red Minus would greatly appreciate if you would purchase his unlicensed T-shits of copyrighted Final Fantasy and Pokémon characters, for only $16 you can help our hero enjoy his active lifestyle of drinking and couch surfing.
Reaction to this article
Upon this article's creation, Jesse was not at all butthurt and knowing how ED works, he sent a raving fanboy he had christened "re-editor" to fix this article. All this fanboy did was ineffectively baaaww at and threaten the article's author for making it while boasting about his prestigious lifestyle. It just goes to show that fanboys are always more pathetic than their beloved celebrity crush. Soon other Red Minus fans ran screaming into the hurricane to rant against any criticism aimed at their favorite internet celebrity. The fireworks can be observed from a safe distance here.
Red Minus is currently plotting in the shadows to make an animation to get back at who he percieves is the creator of this article. Knowing his track record, expect it around 2026 and for it to be incredibly desperate. How dare someone criticize him on the unrivaled paragon of absolute truth after all. Throwing a temper tantrum always works better than simply improving, M.I. Wright?
Could someone explain where exactly the rainbow is coming from?
Also totally not gay.
Red Minus is part of a series on YouTube.