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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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|Now available exclusively in Comic Sans.|
REDdit is a website for pseudo-intellectual, libertarian/liberal, racist, pedophilic, hipster, IT/liberal arts majoring pussies who feel that getting "Karma" increases their self-worth or makes their fanatical/retarded opinions correct. It was founded by two guys who wanted to make a Digg rip-off. In October 2006, the owners sold out to some big company which means they are poser faggots. Luckily, later one of them committed suicide.
It's funny because /r/gaming is for fucking retards.
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Reddit.com is a sweltering hole of pig shit and unfunny memes. Its user base consists of Liberal God-less faggots and cynical neck-bearded BETA males who have spent their entire lives being rejected by members of the opposite sex, and a few Republican libertaritards rejected by members of the same sex. All of this had led to the formation of an online cesspool full of bitter nerds and socially retarded manboys. The Liberal Butthurt Syndrome exhibited by Redditors is so well-defined that some of them have even tried to edit this article in order cut out all of the nasty bits about Liberals... only to find out that their butthurt edits are easily reverted by the undo button.
Discussion on reddit usually consists of one party expressing a leftist viewpoint, the next person agreeing with that viewpoint and a third person making a pun out of the original post. After this point, we hit tldr where it dissolves into a massive circlejerk and an orgy of confirmation bias and self-reaffirmation. To receive karma on Reddit, one must have the political views of an angst-riddled pseudo-socialist college teenager who regularly visits Infowars.com and discusses the perils of corporatism over coffee at Starbucks. Its politics section serves as an echo chamber for dejected Liberal Arts majors who think that socialism is a trendy alternative to capitalism. Its gaming section is littered with nostalgic posts about popular games from the 90s and complaints about Call of Duty being too accepted by the unwashed masses. Its worldnews section is a place where self-loathing Americunts, Islamophiles and Jew-hating conspiracy theorists can get together and express their unwavering support for Iran and Hamas. Its atheism section acts as a platform for smug 19-year-olds who want to sit on their high-horses and post Facebook screenshots of themselves arguing with family members that have had the nerve to openly express their Christian beliefs.
To this day, Reddit users still view their website as a secret online community for counter-cultural warriors and intellectuals, even though the site sees millions of unique visitors and is littered with inane pictures of cats and other painfully unfunny memes. The online consensus states unanimously that users on Reddit seek only to further pervert the "Advice Animals" meme (which was, for the record, never lulzy). If you've ever used the phrase "meta-discourse" and don't have the balls to get your memes from 4chan the way God intended it, Reddit is the place for you!!
After having gone through life with a hippy, faggot name like Alexis, he was ascended to Internet goddess status. Around 2014, this Judas betrayed the internet and began to support censorship and SJWism.
No information available. Rumored to have never existed. Possibly made up by Alexis.
The Up/Downvote System (Or Karma)
This is a completely valueless numerical system that is intended to push 'good' submissions to the front page, while burying bad ones. The reddit karma system is based on the same line of thinking as the Xbox Live Gamerscore: Convince the user that a number next to their name actually means something, and that a larger number directly corresponds to being more important. Since the majority of Redditors desperately seeks reason to believe that they are a cut above the rest of the Internet, (and indeed, even their fellow Reddit users), they generally tend to fall for this gimmick; hook, line and sinker.
Surprisingly, Reddit has systems in place to prevent users from amassing too many upvotes for a single submission. Some argue that this is to prevent unwarranted self importance from reaching critical levels. Others debate that this is to keep everything in a constant state of motion so as to prevent the same content from being on the front page all of the time. Others argue that this is just gay.
The karma system also provides a new and exciting insight on trolling. Now, instead of merely judging the written response of the impassioned user, Reddit trolls get to make use of a scoring system that gauges their effectiveness. A downvote signifies that the trolled person was offended or annoyed by the comment. Trolls can now compete for the high score, and if they have any friends to compare downvotes with, they can create downvote leaderboards. This would be great if anyone actually cared enough about reddit to keep track of the users they've upset, but since trolling reddit is not unlike shitting in a cesspool full of mongoloids, the potential of Reddit: The Video Game remains untapped.
Just be careful not to accumulate too much negative karma, because if you do, Reddit prevents you from frequently posting. Yes, the more positive karma you have, the more frequently you can post; the more negative karma you have, the less frequently you can post. So be a conformist idiot. Don't say anything that deviates from popular opinion, so that all of your posts get positive karma. That way you can keep circle-jerking until you ejaculate. See also How to game the reddit community.
Feedback loop or Why reddit is shitty
The quality or factual accuracy of a comment is usually meaningless, upvotes/downvotes depend on if it agrees with the prevailing opinion of the subreddit. This is also why the top AskReddit comments to certain posts are almost always the same. The feedback loop issue is why reddit seems to only hold extreme views and is surprisingly insular despite being the "front page of the internet". Dissenting opinions are downvoted and "discredited", many times with inaccurate claims and without sources. If sources are used then they are often either irrelevant or wildly biased. Those who disagree are often derided and mocked, but in an unfunny way, not like ED. A post that has been downvoted enough becomes automatically hidden by default from other users. Some subreddits will automatically hide your posts if you're not subscribed or have only recently subscribed (ex:/r/TwoXChromosomes), their FAQ will purposely not mention this.
Some users with unpopular opinions will be "shadowbanned", i.e. they're never informed of being banned and all their posts are hidden from other users. All these above mentioned things mean that most users will only see posts that express a certain view.
If a comment section gets really racist and if someone claiming to be black says that they agree, then that comment will shoot up to near the top. This opinion will be treated as a prevailing opinion in most of the minority group and will serve to justify many of the racist comments made by other redditors. Comments by other blacks that aren't in agreement will get downvoted. This 'even blacks agree with racists' phenomenon isn't just related to race related-posts, and there's probably an actual name for it but ED editors are not educated well enough to know what it is.
The changing opinions of the reddit community is most likely not a result of personal growth but a change in demographics.
Posts you might find on Reddit
- How do I tell my friends, my coworkers, my postman, and the people who use the same gym as me that I am an Atheist?
- The TSA made me remove my C4. We are living in a police state sheeple!
- The 10,000th reason why Bernie Sanders is supporting my retarded 18-24-year-old unrealistic view of the world. (12 million upvotes)
- Hey guys, look at this (item name) that my (significant other) made me!
- Opposing Israel does not make you anti-semitic! That's just what the filthy Jews that control the world want you to believe!
- Fuck corporations - posted from my iPhone on a corporate-owned website using a corporate-owned ISP.
- Check out this reputable article on a serious topic. (Thoughtcatalog.com)
- Ruport Murdoch shot my narwhal with a harpoon.
- DAE feel as if middle eastern terrorists are just reacting to the evil imperialism of AmeriKKKa!?
- Remember to go out and vote today! For the more progressive candidate! Otherwise stay at home, you neo-conservative racist fuck.
- Ruport Murdoch shot my narwhal with a harpoon.
- Anyone who disagrees with my opinion is obviously being paid to!
- Americans ARE NOT Irish!!!! >[ - Butthurt European
- TIL If you don't count all the murders then America has a lower murder rate than Europe.
- Hey everyone, look at this funny gif that I found on 4chan.
- I'm a 19 year old Mormon, but now I'm an Atheist - please accept me.
- DAE think that our Dear Lord
Julian AssangeEdward Snowden is a total badass?
- And TOW is PERFECT and Jimbo Wales can do no wrong! (Yeah they really think this shit in all seriousness)
- Remember this ancient SNES game that sold millions of copies worldwide? I'm still playing it!
- "Gun control" is code for confiscation.
- TIL that all Muslims aren't terrorists. All Christians and Jews on the other hand, are narrow-minded bigoted fucks.
- Republicans ate my baby. AMA.
- My pet dog has cancer because the Tea Party did something that I won't explain because I'm pretty sure that you've already upvoted me.
- "It's not pedophilia! Fourteen is the age of consent in most of Europe!" - Male redditors in their 30s who masturbate to CP.
- Thank God that /r/mensrights exists! Otherwise, we'd have nobody to look out for the rights of middle class white males!
- Hey r/atheism, look at this Facebook screencap of me being a total asshole to some Christians I know. brb - posting to askreddit to ask them how people go about making friends.
- Le fuuuuu herpin de derp le rage comic
- DAE find /r/ImGoingtohellforthis offensive?
- LE RON PAUL 2016
- DAE think our high murder rate is not a gun control issue?
- IAMA father who has been wronged by our legal system. Wimminz are all bitches, ain't they?
- TIL America is evil
- Hey /r/atheism! Whenever a Christian asks me if I believe in God, I become smug and needlessly confrontational!
- Being a 19 year old male who likes to smoke a lot of weed, I feel as if marijuana should be legalized.
- I just linked to a Salon article. Upvote me or you're a neoconservative fuck.
- Here is a video of a cop doing something bad. Lets watch it, rage, and then accuse all police officers of being assholes.
- RON PAUL 2016.
- An Israeli Jew has parked his car illegally in Jerusalem. . Please Reddit, upvote this post so that the Zionists can't bury it!
- Wikileaks: President Bush picked a booger from his nose on the 9th of November, 2004. Cables suggest that it tasted salty.
- TIL that even though the average Reddit user is aged 25-34 and an atheist, most are still in college and don't have their PhD's in science yet. I mean, what the fuck?! ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ
- When someone does something seen as courageous or masculine you'll hear cringeworthy comments like "I wonder how he can walk with balls that big", "I amazed he can fit in those pants with such big balls", etc.
- "If he wasn't white then he'd be called a terrorist" - Whenever a white person kills someone.
- "Racism exists for a reason" - Whenever a black person kills someone.
- "I don't hate black people, I just hate their culture"- when they are accused of being a racist.
- "WAHHHH women are all bitches and lesbos and wanna rape me"
Levels of Reddit
Level 1: Discover Reddit while Googling for "Jailbait".
Level 2: Click on links to pictures of cats.
Level 3: Create an account and choose a clever username.
Level 4: Post a comment and get downvoted.
Level 5: Downvote something.
Level 6: Upvote something.
Level 7: Downvote a comment because you don't agree with the opinion expressed in it.
Level 8: Find the invisible "H".
Level 9: Make fun of Digg even though it was before your time.
Level 10: Claim that Reddit used to be better.
Level 11: [+frontpage] /r/circlejerk
Level 12: Spend days making a Minecraft Castle.
Level 13: Quit Facebook because it's the counter-cultural thing to do.
Level 15: 2,000+ Karma.
Level 16: Spend your day posting Daily Kos articles to r/politics.
Level 17: Setup an alt account to troll.
Level 18: Make fake AskReddit stories.
Level 19: Knowingly re-post past submissions in quest for more karma.
Level 20: Join r/ShitRedditSays and wallow in your own gender-orientated victim complex.
Level 20.1: Cry about reddit being either racist or misogynistic (or both, you faggot)
Level 21: Call Israel a Nazi state.
Level 22: Call America a Nazi state
Level 23: ALL COPS ARE FUCKIN ASSHOLES.
Level 24: Defend the rights of pedophiles.
Level 25: Post content that shows Muslims in a positive light.
Level 26: Upgrade to a Reddit Gold account.
Level 27: Participate in Reddit Secret Santa.
ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES AND WHORES WHY DO THEY NOT LIKE NICE GUYS SUCH AS MYSELF FUCKING CUNTS MAN DO I HATE THOSE FAKE 'MISOGYNISTIC' "NICE GUYS" HAHA, R-RIGHT GIRLS?
Level 29: Edit the Reddit article on ED.
Level 30: ???
Level 31: Profit!
The acutal entire posting history of Reddit summed up in one easy paragraph.
"To be fair, I did nazi that coming. I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now. /thread.
Edit: Thanks for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger."
Occupy Wall Street
Being the pseudo-socialist poser fucks that they are, Reddit members blew their collective load when they realized that they could protest against rich people on Wall Street by holding drum circles and making vague anti-establishment rants. Soon after the Occupy Wall Street protests began, Reddit members began to post pictures of themselves holding hand-written sob stories about how tough it is to be a middle class white male in America. As this craze caught on, pretentious slogans such as "I am the 99%" flooded the front-page as hordes of smelly hippies upvoted them to the heavens above.
WIKILEAKS, WIKILEAKS, WIKILEAKS
According to Reddit, Wikileaks is the bestest most superest organization in the world; and spokesperson Julian Assange is a noble hero who wards off evil governments that oppress their people! Julian Assange can do no wrong. He pisses peace, shits freedom and he certainly doesn't rape women in Sweden. It's ok that he sometimes editorializes his releases as long as the editorializing in question falls into line with the left-wing narrative of the Reddit hivemind. It's okay that his organization releases names, threatens relationships between countries and puts informants in danger; because at the end of the day, the truth is like, more important, man!
Wikileaks gets owned by PayPal and Time Magazine
When the Wikileaks PayPal account was suspended, the amount of butthurt on Reddit reached critical levels. Left-wing hippies threw their hands into the air and condemned PayPal for following their terms and conditions. Some of these mouth-breathers were so butthurt that they cancelled their PayPal accounts; not that it mattered because everyone in the world knows that pseudo-Socialist college students don't have any money.
When Time magazine announced that Mark Zuckerberg was their person of the year for 2010, the left-wing terrorist-sympathizers on Reddit shit their pants in anger and denounced Time for not giving the award to their hero Julian Assange. Redditors, in such a fit of anger, failed to realize that this was an award for "Person of the Year"; not "Rapist of the Year". The butthurt on Reddit reached such a high level that many of the neckbeards on Reddit began to post stuff such as "Who the fuck cares who Time declared as the person of the year? I knOW I DON'T I FUCKING HATE THEM AND HOPE THEY ALL DIE!!!!!" All of these sweet sweet tears came about because apparently, Julian Assange had won a poll for Person of the Year on Time Magazine's website. The funny thing is that prior to this, Reddit users would have questioned the validity of any result from an online poll, but this time; because their God Julian Assange had come out on top, they were more than willing to ignore the fact that online polls are often skewed because of tampering. In fact, only a few days before the poll was closed, Redditors were posting threads asking other people to mass-vote for Assange.
Because the hipsters on Reddit hate Facebook so much (it's far too mainstream), seeing its founder beat their savior Assange added so much insult to injury that it is believed many Reddit users instantly committed suicide. Which is a good thing.
Edward Snowden, Our Lord and Savior
Edward Snowden is known for leaking information on domestic and foreign spying to the press; after he did this he fled to China and then later Russia to avoid prosecution. He holds many of the same views found in /r/worldnews, /r/news, /r/politics, and /r/technology. Unsurprisingly those are the subreddits where he's the most popular. He's essentially the everyman redditor (white, male libertarian in his 20s, works in IT, attracted to asian women, watches anime porn and plays Skyrim or Fallout 4 until his nuts fall off). Snowden initially claimed that he tried to go through the proper whistle blower channels, he later revealed that was a lie. Reddit believes fleeing the country was "heroic". From within Russia Snowden complains about how oppressive and morally bankrupt the United States government is. Putin couldn't be happier.
Edward Snowden's fan club on reddit claims that he fled because otherwise he would have been tortured, covertly assassinated or sentenced to death. None of those things were ever going to happen. They also believe that if he didn't flee then he wouldn't have been able to leak any info, despite the fact he had already leaked everything before he fled the country. Another claim is that he wouldn't receive a fair trial (even though he has already admitted guilt multiple times), and is not the first controversial person to stand trial. They think he deserves a presidential pardon even though he caused irreparable damage to foreign relations. Reddit has also claimed that foreign espionage is a violation of the U.S. Constitution (it's not). Reddit threw a hissy fit when Edward Snowden did not win Time's Person of the Year, just as they had done when Julian Assange didn't win.
"They talk about Russia like it's the worst place on Earth. Russia's great." - Edward Snowden, June 2014
Glenn Greenwald, the Apostle
Glenn Greenwald is an anti-semite journalist who moved to Brazil because the United States didn't acknowledge same sex marriages soon enough. He's known for being incredibly biased (read anything he writes and the spin is obvious), and extremely ghey. The only reason he has received any recognition or any meaningful awards is because he was one of the first to publish the Snowden leaks. Reddit believes that Greenwald is the most trusted name in journalism.
Since 99% of the Reddit population is made up of bleeding-heart Liberals, anti-semites and Islamophiles, Redditors continuously go out of their way to downplay any negative press about the Arab world... because, like, that's just racist, dude. This is because your regular left-wing hippy douchebag on Reddit feels as if he needs to make amends for the bad rap that Western media outlets have been giving those peaceful Muslims. According to Reddit, the Israel-Palestine conflict is a black and white issue of good versus evil, with Palestine being the underdog and the crusader against injustice, and Israel being the evil tyrant that harvests the skin of dead Muslim babies. Don't ever bring that point up though, as the desktop activists on Reddit will make a barrage of excuses, discard your point completely and then downvote you into oblivion; proving the point that you don't have to be a crazy right-winger in order to be a fascist cunt. Any criticism of Hamas on Reddit will be met with a fury of downvotes, because in the eyes of most Redditors, Hamas didn't really intend to carry out over 50 suicide bombings in Israel - The truth is that it was all just one big misunderstanding as Islam is really just a religion of peace. You'll also find that any negative news press or criticism towards Middle-Eastern countries such as Iran is purposely deflected by commentators making shallow soundbyte remarks such as "WELL THE USA IS JUST AS BAD!!!1"... because that makes everything A-ok, amirite? It is also funny to note that for such an open-minded community of Liberals, Reddit does a great job of ignoring the human rights violations of homosexuals and women in Middle-Eastern countries. The r/WorldNews section on Reddit is the worst offender. While hearsay and pro-Arab propaganda gets upvoted to the heavens above (seriously, a Youtube video created by the propaganda arm of Al-Qaeda once got upvoted to the front page), news stories about actual genocides going on in other countries float around at the bottom of the barrel... all because those events have nothing to do with teh Jews.
—papasconqueso - A typical Reddit "Atheist" Islamophile
Despite the well publicized fact that Reddit is dominated by liberals, these brave crusaders (and misunderstood victims of the liberal hivemind) masturbate every time a Ron Paul article manages to get to the front page. Generally these articles are of the form: "RON PAUL and six democrats co-sponsor really obvious bill that makes it illegal to murder toddlers! Also the democrats are bad even though they co-sponsored the bill!" They also like to remind the liberal chorus that Ron Paul doesn't really *mean* that stuff that he wrote about not wanting a strict separation of church and state.
It is no secret that Reddit is full to the brim with pretentious chic-look-loving hipsters. Once upon a time, hating on hipsters actually used to be a cool thing to do on Reddit, but now... because everyone else is doing it, your common Reddit douchebag feels as if "hipster bashing" has become far too mainstream. So, being the counter-cultural vintage fucks that they are, Redditors now come out in defense of Hipsters, as shown in the comment screencapped in the image below. While defending the hipster subculture, your regular Reddit fucktard will pretend as if he an unbiased observer, even though it's pretty clear to anyone who has two brain cells to rub together that the poster is most likely a V-neck-top-wearing-thick-rimmed-glasses-loving cunt who is sitting in front of a Mac.
If you're looking for some quick karma on Reddit, simply state that "reality has a Liberal bias". Seriously - people have been upvoted to heaven for saying this. The funny thing is: If a conservative were to state the opposite, the Leftards on Reddit would be the first to call that person brainwashed/batshit insane. The /r/politics subsection on Reddit has become nothing more than an echo chamber for leftist viewpoints, with centrist and conservative opinion pieces being downvoted into oblivion. While the propaganda shills on /r/politics love to complain about the conservative bias of media outlets such as Fox News, they seem to have absolutely no problem in upvoting partisan Daily Kos articles.
In reality, most redditors ascribe to the political ideology of the New Left, meaning that they claim to be liberal, inclusive, all-loving populists and see no hypocrisy in making these claims and yet being incredibly racist, sexist, and generally hateful and judgemental to anyone they disagree with—primarily Jews and conservatives whose foreign policy do not involve standing idly by as terrorists plan the downfall of America and make life miserable for people who share their country.
Reddit Hates Jews
Bring this point up and the pro-Muslim lobby on Reddit will quickly tell you that hating Israel does not make you an anti-semite. Here is how a typical conversation about antisemitism unfolds on Reddit.
Redditor 1: The Kikes control the media and Hitler was right to try and exterminate the bastards.
Redditor 2: Eh... you're being an anti-semite!
Redditor 3: Hating Israel does not make you an anti-semite.
Redditor 2: What? I never said it did?! He was talking about the Jews being kikes and Hitler being right!
Redditor 4: Nice try, Mossad.
Redditor 2: The fuck?
Redditor 3: Hit the road Zionist shill.
Proof that Reddit hates those filthy Jews
Redditors tend to slip into a Jew hating frenzy while criticizing Israel, as they have convinced themselves that if the word Israel is anywhere within a 5 paragraph range, they can not be anti-semites no matter what hate they spew about Jews. In fact, most redditors fail to recognize that usage Nazi symbolism as analogy for the behavior of Jews is
incredibly offensive actually quite accurate, and instead are simply jumping on a band-wagon of hate-rhetoric, because it seems like it's edgy. They thus believe, perhaps correctly, that violence against Jews anywhere in the world is justified because of the “Nazi-like” behavior of Israel Defense Forces.
It all started when down syndrome-sufferer and Reddit user 'scordatura' broke free from his
carers keepers and managed to create a fucktarded run-of-the-mill post on r/politics, which was titled:
—scordatura - karma whoring his way to the top of r/politics with some nicely-tuned hyperbole
The link that scordatura posted led to a small-time website that was run by a bunch of Internet Jewish Warriors.
The funny thing about this post?
a) Links to negative press about Israel usually reach the front-page of Reddit within 0.013 seconds, even if they're found to be over a year old. In one case; a video created by the propaganda wing of Al-Qaeda was upvoted to the top of /r/WorldNews because it cast Israel in a negative light. When the self-described intellectuals on Reddit discovered that they had made a terrible mistake by upvoting a piece of propaganda to the front-page, they blushed a little, left the thread and went right back to upvoting anything that was critical of Israel. Reddit users will often pretend as if there are powerful forces out there that are willing to downvote and bury reputable news stories.... which is pretty hilarious, considering the fact that Reddit users often systematically downvote posts and comments that contradict their microscopic view of the world.
b) This relatively small website of about 250 Jewish Internet tough guys had never even heard of Reddit before scordatura decided to link to their website and send the money-grabbing Jews a spike of traffic and a tasty increase in ad revenue.
Later on, after scores of rational-thinking Reddit users had upvoted scordatura's post to the front page and beyond, the Reddit anti-spam system automatically removed the post because it detected a bout of "vote cheating". Immediately, Redditors grabbed their pitchforks and began to cry out about "censorship" and a conspiracy to bury the truth. Reddit user Bookthievery became the first in line to attention-whore his way to the top of Reddit with his self-post, which was titled:
—Bookthievery - on why there's no herp without the derp
Soon enough, Reddit administrator HueyPriest replied and explained that the post had been removed because people were trying to artificially increase the amount of upvotes it had. tl;dr: Reddit users complained about a Jewish conspiracy to downvote articles. In reality, Reddit users were trying to game the upvote/downvote system by artificially increasing the post's score. Of course, the irony was lost on most.
A few months later, user scordatura was back to his old karma-whoring tricks. Realizing that posts about shady Jews tend to gather a lot of upvotes, regardless of truth or merit, scordatura decided to dig the topic up again:
—'scordatura - preying on the stupidity of Redditors
The evidence in question was posted on a blog called REDACTEDNEWS, which displayed a screenshot of the original post that had been removed a few months earlier. You know... the one that had been removed because Redditors were trying to artificially increase its score? Apparently, the post in the screenshot had 10000+ upvotes and 8000+ downvotes (a net score of 2000+, which is still a very high positive score for a Reddit post). The blog in question based its evidence on the amount of downvotes that the post had, even though it has been made clear several times in the past that numbers are purposely added by the Reddit anti-spam system in order to fuzz the upvotes/downvotes and fool would-be spammers and bots. In fact, you'll be hard-pressed to find any post on the front-page that hasn't had its numbers fuzzed by an unrealistic amount of added upvotes and downvotes. Did any of this matter? Of course not. Instead, the intelligent human beings over on Reddit concluded that in this particular case, the downvotes were caused by greedy Jews and not the anti-spam system. Hilariously enough, scordatura gained 1500+ upvotes with this second post, proving that the pseudo-intellectual college teens over on Reddit aren't as intelligent and logical as they'd like people to believe.
—'Joseph Gobbels - What rushes through peoples heads after realising how many times "Jew" & "Israel" appear on this page
If the lengthy above article isn't enough to convince you the JIDF exist and are editing this very article see this pic How the JIDF keep in contact and swiftly descend on any anti-chosen people media
Don't forget to support Israel!
MEN ARE EVEN MORE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST THAN WOMEN!!
Male Redditors love dwelling in their own gender-based victim complex. Whenever a story pops up about a woman being wronged, an army of pasty-faced basement dwellers who have spent their entire lives being rejected by women descend onto the thread with all of their sexless fury in order to set the record straight and let it be known that men also face discrimination!1!1!! Even though nobody stated the opposite. The high level of misogyny on Reddit is unusual, as the site is mostly used by hippy Liberal douchebags, who you'd think would be a little more open-minded. But then again, why would someone who spends their Saturday nights playing WOW and jacking off to Hentai care about political inclinations when it comes to topics about the opposite sex?
Nice Guy Syndrome (2006-2010)
A lot of Redditors feel that showing common courtesy towards a woman should entitle them to free sex, as if "niceness" is the only character trait that a woman should want in a guy. These miserable fucks feign being nice in order to trick the girl of their dreams into liking them. Unfortunately, after their plan has failed and they get friend-zoned, this "niceness" fades away and they become passive-aggressive assholes.
Ugly girls are pretty!!
A lot of male Redditors say things such as "I only go for girls who don't wear makeup" as if they somehow have a choice in the matter. They'll all sit around telling one another that they prefer girls who don't match up to the media-induced standards of what contemporary society considers beauty. The sad thing is, after this make-me-feel-better-about-only-being-able-to-score-with-fat-chicks circlejerk comes to an end, they descend back into their basements in order to spend their evening jacking off to 10s.
Women on Reddit
Despite the hatred of general women on Reddit, whenever a girl posts on the site all male Redditors will instantly worship her. If she posts a picture of herself, it will reach the front page and the comments will all be praise of her. Should anyone make the mistake of pointing out a tiny flaw in this female, they will face the wrath of an army of internet white knights larger than anyone could imagine. Should the woman point out that Reddit's general attitude is misogynistic, the same neckbeards who led her to this conclusion will instantly change their stance and condemn their brothers for saying things that could bring pain to the fine lass.
Censorship bad, CP good
One day, the goons over on Something Awful decided to shop around for more ways to waste their money. While investigating the prospect of purchasing Reddit Gold, a few of them inadvertently stumbled upon a surprisingly active subreddit called r/jailbait. After discovering this pit of moral decay, the goons decided that its existence was morally reprehensible and that they could not, in good conscience, allow it to go unnoticed. After the goons reported the subreddit's existence to every site, church and police station that they could find, the resulting backlash forced the Reddit administrators into shutting it down.
A few months later, similar jailbait subreddits were also closed down by the administrators, who cited legal reasons. The closure of various subreddits that contained pictures of scantily clad 13 year old girls ultimately led to cries of censorship because a large number of Redditors are militant pedophiles.
This campaign is documented on Reddit's "SomethingAwful.com starts campaign to label Reddit as a child pornography hub. Urging users to contact churches, schools, local news and law enforcement. " and SA's "To Catch a Redditor: Reddit closes a bunch of kid porn forums because of this thread" which has the subtitle "This thread is about Reddit actively trading irrefutable child porn. Do not come in here to defend r/jailbait. This isn't about the legal grey area subreddits. Reddit is blatantly posting child pornography."
The candidate du jour for Reddit for the 2016 U.S. presidential election. With Ron Paul not running, and his son not crazy enough for Reddit's liking, they've turned to an over-70 Heeb socialist nut, who rants about too many deodorant choices, to proclaim as the next great savior of the country, if not the world. LOL.
Sanders' campaign is practically managed on Reddit, with frequent updates there every time the candidate uses the bathroom.
Look for many tears to flow on Reddit after Sanders loses to Hillary Clinton.
In case the reddit hivemind isn't precise enough for you, here are some sub-sub-cultures you may wish to engage in:
- /r/4chan/ Basically PG-13 4chan.
- /r/AdviceAnimals/ Home of the Unpopular Opinion Puffin.
- /r/AskReddit/ Where your typical Reddit fucknut will ask rhetorical questions. Questions repeat on a weekly basis.
- /r/Circlebroke/, Evolved to become a habitat of social justice warriors and trannies. This place was originally created to be salty about the circlejerk on reddit. Ironically, today /r/Circlebroke manages to be an even bigger circlejerk on it's own.
- /r/Circlejerk/, Where the reddit hivemind goes to shitpost and make fun of itself.
- /r/Braveryjerk/, circlejerkers' attempt to be LOL SO RANDUM. Today the place is almost dead from inactivity.
- /r/childfree - You know how some people just don't like fat people and how other get disgusted by the sight of them, form groups to discuss how much they hate them and can't understand why other people don't? Well that's essentially /r/childfree.
- /r/Comics/ Where the same bunch of popular shitty web comic artists post their shit again and again in order to get free exposure. The punchlines are all the same: Something dark, twisted, nerdy and sick happens, and then it gets upvoted to the high heavens as if it's the funniest thing to have ever been drawn.
- /r/Conspiracy/, Where undercover Hasbara agents and AmeriKKKan sheeple cry Anti-Semitism when visionaries expose Jewish crimes. It often leaks out into r/Politics, r/news and r/Worldnews. The subreddit itself is teeming with White Nationalists. This is because a number of Stormfront members realized that they could exploit the paranoid readers that visit the subreddit in order to spread conspiracy theories about "the Jews". Even more telling is the fact that their third-top moderator is a White Nationalist that co-ordinates with other Stormfront members outside of Reddit and bans anyone that speaks of his activities.
- /r/911truth, Baseless "HERP DERP DEM JOOZ DID IT" propaganda with a few conspiracy theories thrown in for good measure. Blaming anyone else or providing debunks and rational explanations for the conspiracy theories will bring many downvotes and flame comments. Asking people to prove their wild accusations and conjecture will bring childish responses and ad hominems that don't answer your question or prove anything whatsoever.
- /r/climateskeptics An extension of /r/conspiracy made up of the same people who wore helmets and needed handlers growing up.
- /r/conspiratard/ Where sane and rational people go to troll and debunk r/conspiracy, they're considered a Hateful subreddit by r/conspiracy.
- /r/creepyPMs/ Populated by easily offended femnazis. Make a crude joke and you are literally worse than Hitler. The subreddit was started by NoseFetish, a "proud feminist", who supports censorship and making reddit "inclusive for all people". The sub's side image is that of an overweight white man on a bicycle asking you if you want to go on a date.
- /r/DoesAnyoneElse/, In which people find that they are identical to every other redditor. An example: "Does anyone else here like not being on fire?". It doubles as a circle-jerk for identifying little inconveniences that nobody cares about in real life. An example: "Does anyone else hate the little squiggly red line under misspelled words?"
- /r/Depression/ Where Redditors complain about being asshurt about everything, but won't take medication or change their lifestyle because they'd rather feel sorry for themselves and be angry at the world.
- /r/explainlikeimfive/ The premise of it is to have complex subjects explained with simple language. The issue with it is that reddit is not able to discern which comments are correct or misinformed which essentially makes the subreddit useless. Other times questions will be highly politicized (abortion, race relations, religion, etc) which prevents the OP from receiving an upvoted unbiased answer.
- /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu/, In which they post rage comics they stole from /b/. Or, if they are really feeling unfunny, they make their own, usually spamming trollface saying "problem?", clearly doing it wrong.
- /r/Funny/ In which users submit corny jokes. An example: "I didn't go see that Mel Gibson movie, The Passion of the Christ. I already read the book! LOL!" When not submitting corny jokes, users will submit screencaps of their friends saying mildly retarded things on facebook and other mildly retarded friends replying.
- /r/Futurology - Content consists of popular science articles written by people who have no knowledge of the subject (Ex: Huffington Post bloggers). All posts are extremely sensationalized.
- /r/GamerGhazi/ - Haven for Anti Gamer Gators and generally a pro-censorship radical feminist shithole. This, along with /r/ShitRedditSays and /r/Circlebroke is where trannies go to hate men and satire. Consequently they have tried to get our server provider to drop us multiple times.      The sub itself is run by the Anita Sarkeesian fan club: IrbyTremor (also mod of /r/OffMyChest and /r/againstmensrights), othellothewise (also mod of /r/againstTumblrInAction), HokesOne (also mod of /r/againstmensrights and /r/AgainstGamerGate), diehtc0ke (also mod of /r/againstmensrights), Spawnzer (also mod of /r/againstmensrights and /r/AgainstGamerGate), cordis_melum (also mod of /r/againstmensrights) and Wrecksomething (also mod of /r/againstmensrights).
- /r/IAmA/ Last resort for irrelevant washed up celebrities to shill their flopping content. Redditors will of course eat it up in exchange for a few questions.
- /r/ImGoingToHellForThis/ - Place for 14 year olds to be edgy and racist for the first time.
- /r/justneckbeardthings/ Subreddit that goes after the easy targets. See also /r/niceguys.
- /r/MakeupAddiction/ Transgenders trying to pass as women.
- /r/MyLittlePony/ Where pedophiles go to study their prey.
- /r/OffMyChest/ Posts consist of either lies or terrible crimes against humanity. See also /r/Confession. SJWs took over /r/OffMyChest in late 2013, now OffMyChest will auto ban you if you've ever commented in r/TumblrInAction, r/KotakuinAction or generally any subreddit which they deem offensive. List of mods who ruined the subreddit: (made a mod in Nov 2013, also mod for /r/feminism), (made a mod in Nov 2013, also a mod for /r/socialjustice, /r/BlackRights and /r/TrollXPOC), (made a mod in 2014, also mod for /r/GamerGhazi and /r/againstmensrights) and (made a mod in 2014, also a mod for /r/creepyPMs, /r/AntiTiA, /r/countingcrows and about twenty SRS subs).
- /r/OldSchoolCool/ Where redditors post old sexy pictures of their grandparents so other people can masturbate to them.
- /r/Opiates/ Heroin addicts post pictures of the pain meds they stole from grandma.
- /r/Pics/ Stolen or photoshopped pictures from like 10 years ago.
- /r/Reddithax/ Where three users post lame CSS and JS "hacks" that serve no use and, therefore, nobody else cares about.
- /r/Science/ In which they are suddenly an expert in whatever field is being discussed. They also bitch about how evil GMOs are.
- /r/SHHHHHEEEEEEEEIIIITT/ comics mocking black folk. The main contributor, butt_nut, is black.
- /r/short/ Similar to /r/smalldickproblems/ but slightly less suicidal. Occasionally inspirational, mostly depressing.
- /r/Sports/ Where nerds who suck at sports come together and pretend to have the mindset of a team's owner or general manager. Too bad these mindsets don't get you those jobs, nerds!
- /r/RedditLaqueristas/ For men who paint their nails.
- /r/tall/ Tall (sometimes hilariously disfigured) men post funny pictures, tall women orgasm at every single one. 5'7" women pretend that they are tall and complain about beds being too short, cars being too small, not enough leg room on planes, etc. 5'11"+ women complain that they think all the men around them are too short and that tall men only date short women.
- /r/TodayILearned/ A subreddit for those wishing to share Wikipedia articles or too push a thinly veiled political agenda. Submissions are reposted on a daily basis.
- /r/Tress/ Filled with boring ass pot heads.
- /r/TrollXChromosomes/ One of the few subreddits actually populated by women. It's like a female version of r/funny/ that occasionally veers close to becoming an SRS-sub.         
- /r/TumblrInAction/ Constant mockery of all things Tumblr, SJW, and vegan by faggots completely oblivious to the fact how liberal they themselves are. See also r/KotakuInAction.
- /r/SubRedditDrama/ The Internet equivalent of two old women talking over a garden fence, was lost to SJWs sometime around 2013 and now frequently brigades other subreddits. Admins refuse to acknowledge the brigading.
- /r/Wikipedia full of idiot TOW fans who will downvote any negative posts about Wikipedia or Jimbo.
- /r/Wikiinaction the exact opposite of r/Wikipedia, full of pissed-off MRWs bitching about Gamergate "Abuses" on TOW. Obsessed with David Gerard, Ryulong, and RationalWiki.
- /r/WTF/ Content is easily confused with r/funny and r/mildyinteresting.
- /r/Worldnews/ Usually populated by libertarian self-hating Americans and America hating Europeans. They also hate Israel, Muslims and immigrants. Although oddly enough they seem to frequently defend Middle Easterners (or as they call them "brown people") as long as they're not described as Muslim.
- /r/EmmaWatson/ Redditors going nuts over a piece of flat-chested
- /r/DotA2/ Another of reddit's most popular gaming subredits.
- /r/EvedReddit/ In which people complain about furkle trolling EVE Online.
- /r/Gaming/ Yet another fanboi circle-jerk, this time involving Nintendo, Valve and Red Dead Redemption. In 2013, /r/gaming became /r/xbonehate for eight months. Recently /r/pcmasterrace/ has been trying to take it over.
- /r/leagueoflegends/ One of the most popular gaming subreddits, unfortunately.
- /r/TF2/ In which people complain about furkle trolling in Team Fortress 2 and cry about everything being OP. DAE THINK PYRO IS OP? DAE THINK PYRO IS A GIRL?!?
- /r/Pokemon/ A subreddit where fat basement dwellers, hipsters, asspies, and 16 year old girls go to whine and bitch about how great it is to be a Genwunner and why people who never played Pokemon have no childhood!
- /r/pcmasterrace/ A subreddit for elitist nerds. They bitch and belittle everything and everyone but themselves. /r/shitpost may as well redirect to it.
- /r/MensRights/ Picture a virgin in your head. He's greasy. He's overweight. He wears glasses. He's eccentric, antisocial and easily agitated. Sprinkle on some teen angst. Add a dash of rejection and then base him in 10 years of playing World of Warcraft. Now clone that virgin a few thousand times. What have you got? An entire subreddit of sexless failures. They share their appearance with the writers of ED. They are not to be confused however. Neither has had a girlfriend before in their lives, even if they think they had one.
- /r/feminism/ Another subreddit for men with victim complexes. No, really.
- /r/Politics/ The official Democrat Party's blog. Also an RSS aggregation service for the Daily Kos.
- /r/ShitRedditSays/ The feminazi cancer that ruined Something Awful has a beachhead on Reddit, becoming the enemy within, causing immense amount of drama and butthurt among redditfags.
- r/ShitAmericansSay - Spun off from SRS, they hate Americans more than their own miserable lives and vote brigade anyone who doesn't agree with their views. If you call them out on it then they will try to get you shadowbanned.
- /r/Libertarian/ Parents on reddit drop off their children here to keep them occupied while they post on /r/gonewild. Must be 19 or younger to subscribe. If you're over 19, must own a fedora, never shaved in 3 years, and own a large MLP collection.
- /r/conservative/ Being a white bible thumper is the only requirement to join this subreddit, other than that, it's just a circlejerk for /pol/ shitposters. One of the admins was revealed to be a 15 year old who was spoonfed politics from his parents and Fox News.
- /r/The_Donald/ Home base for the racists of /r/news. These nimble navigators love nothing more than gurgling semen from Trump's shriveled Cheeto dick. They downvote anyone who questions the practice. Head mod is a confirmed rapist and alleged white supremacist.   
- Selected Quotes: "So another pathetic hit piece against the only good candidate?"
- /r/Liberal/ Obamacare actually works. Subreddit full of hippies with no life, loves to troll /r/conservative and /r/libertarian, and fails at it.
- /r/Socialism/ Are you an angry teenage anarchist who suddenly became a socialist after reading about socialism on wikipedia? Do you have a fetish for the USSR? Are you a Social Justice Warrior or Feminist with a useless Gender Studies or Communications degree? Hate capitalism? This is the subreddit for you! This subreddit is comprised of all those things, the best way to get upvotes is to make posts like "Michael Brown did nothing wrong" or "DAE think that conservatives are stupid rednecks who's penis shriveled off?" Made up of edgy 16 year old boys amd SJWs, it's a subreddit worth trolling for the amount of butthurt and sensationalized articles frequently posted there.
- /r/Communism/ is like /r/socialism/, but full of oldfags who lived in Soviet times and wish for the good old days back, or edgy bronies.
- /r/TheRedPill/ A more extreme version of /r/MensRights, the name itself is a reference to The Matrix. After spending about five seconds reading the sidebar links, it becomes pretty obvious that these people are fucked in the head.
- /r/TwoXChromosomes/ Where female redditers go to complain about how women are demonized and then go on to demonize men. It's basically the female version of r/MensRights. You also see a lot posts that go like "I'm a guy and I totally agree with this" get upvoted to the top, which is the same 'even blacks agree with racists' phenomenon discussed earlier. It occasionally spills over into other subreddits. When ever TwoXChromosomes starts to become more moderate, a highly upvoted followup post will blame it on "redpillers".  
- TwoXChromosomes Standardized Beliefs:
- If you criticize a woman's decision for any reason then you are a misogynist.
- Men only want women for sex.
- That we live in a rape culture.
- That teaching women tips on how to protect themselves is victim blaming.
- If you're pro-life then you hate women and are only trying to find a way to oppress them.
- Women are second class citizens and if you're not a woman then you have no idea what oppression is.
- If you bring up how they've poorly treated someone then you are using a "derailing tactic".
- If you've ever made a woman feel uncomfortable then you are literally a rapist.
- If you have ever hit on a woman then you are a bad person.
- Phrases you hear often: "slut shamming", "fat shaming" and "trigger warning".
- When they believe it is inappropriate to approach women:
- On the street
- When they're reading a book
- When they're reading a magazine
- When they're reading their phone
- When they're reading a sign
- At work
- Outside of work
- When they're wearing headphones
- When they're wearing anything you victim blamer
- When they're walking their dog
- When they're walking their 15 cats
- When they're walking
- When they're jogging
- When they're moving at a moderate pace
- While in line
- While in a crowd
- At breakfast
- At lunch
- At dinner
- On the subway/bus
- On an airplane
- At the park
- At the gym (as if anyone in this subreddit has set foot in one)
- At a store
- On vacation
- Not on vacation
- On their way to vacation
- In bars
- Outside of bars
- At school
- Outside of school
- At social events
- At a concert
- At a speech
- At a rally
- At a protest
- While having a dick
- TwoXChromosomes Standardized Beliefs:
- /r/Atheism/ is a subreddit for angsty teenagers who oppose Christianity simply because it's the religion that their parents follow. Because most Redditors love trying to stick it to the man, a lot of them tend to use Atheism as an excuse for launching angry tirades against their Christian friends on Facebook. After making needlessly confrontational remarks about religion, a Redditor will screencap the resulting Facebook conversation and post it to Reddit so that other socially inept retards can circlejerk over how great it is to display a complete lack of social tact. These are the same guys who wonder why nobody actually likes them in real life. It should be noted that accusing others of having a superiority complex is a common defensive tactic on r/Atheism, and is not unlike being accused of having vision problems by Stevie Wonder. The irony of this, like many things, are lost on reddit users. r/Atheism is easily the biggest section of cum swapping and circlejerking on the internet. Shitty pun continuation threads and Richard Dawkins masturbation hour is the norm.
- /r/AtheismPlus/ It's basically /r/atheism, but throw in 16 year old girls from tumblr in their Social Justice Warrior phase, 23 year old basement dwelling feminists with useless degrees, and anybody who considers themselves incredibly liberal and start a circlejerk about why Richard Dawkins is a womyn hater, blaming everything on Christianity, consistently sucking Muslim's dicks all day, denying the holocaust, and saying white people is the worst result of evolution ever. Like with /r/atheism's fascination and near worship of Richard Dawkins, Carl Sagan, and Black Science Man (Neil DeGrasse Tyson), /r/atheismplus pretty much worships Rebecca Watson, PZ Myers, and Anita Sarkeesian. They're far worse and more of a circlejerk than /r/atheism/.
- /r/Christianity/ where Christfags hang out to troll /r/atheism
- /r/Islam/ Where terrorists and Left-Wing Liberal Islamophiles hang out.
- /r/Buddhism/ Where edgy teenagers cry about failing at being a Buddhist.
- /r/TheFacebookDelusion/ Where Nerds screencap all their religious friends Facebook posts and act smarter than them, unlike /r/atheism, only FB posts are allowed.
- /r/bigdickproblems/ - You usually don't hear about any real problems, just minor inconveniences that are associated with all the advantages of having a big dick.
- /r/GoneWild/ A place for dongs, hambeasts and camwhores. Calling ugly people ugly results swiftly in the banhammer coming down thus encouraging more of them to post. Claims to be gender-neutral though [M] tagged posts are quickly down-voted.
- /r/Incest/ In which people blur the line between Reddit and /b/ even further
- /r/Sex/ where redditors discuss and find excuses for all the homosexual behavior they engage in.
- /r/smalldickproblems/ Filled with guys who are either on the smaller side of average or are essentially on the verge of suicide. Nothing funny to say because a majority of Redditors belong here.
- /r/Apple, Where condescending, hipster, Apple fanboys have pseudo-intellectual discussions about Apple's business decisions and fictional sex stories of sucking Steve Jobs's (dead) cock. Anything submitted here that is satirical and Apple-related is quickly downvoted to hell.
- /r/Linux/ In which people complain about Windows and compare strategies for avoiding soap.
- /r/Technology/ Posters consist of a mix between /r/politics and /r/conspiracy/.
- /r/Programming/ Where neckbeards post links to programming articles and berate others for their choice of programming language because it fills that dark hole left open by being a sexless 25 year old.
- /r/bronyhate/ Reported by butthurt bronies
- /r/Jailbait/ where some redditors talked about having sex with minors and trading cp. No, seriously.
Strangely some likely candidates remain unbanned:
And if you ever need a REAL laugh, look at the paranoid asswipes on
Things Reddit Fanboys Care About
Here is a list of things that Reddit Fanboys are interested in:
- Linux, although 99.9% are using Windows
- Python, even though 99% of them have never even used it. much less know how to program with this language.
- Jon Stewart.
- Conan O' Brien. Even though he doesn't give a shit about them.
- Stephen Colbert, who once mentioned that one of his interns visited the site. Making them famous!
- Anti-RIAA, because they are 1337 pirates.
- Abusive Police stories. OMG we are living in a POLICE STATE. OVERREACT TO IT!!!
- Anything relating to Team Fortress 2.
- Atheism, but not so much that they would stop celebrating Christmas, the fucking posers.
- Anti-War on Drugs, because they don't want mom to ground them again for smoking weed.
- Obama, because they all want to suck his nigger cock circa 2009.
- imgur - all pictures must be hosted on this site or you will be flamed and down-voted.
- All women are considered intellectuals, and have a hotness score of 10/10 if their picture makes it to the front page. (notice girl with the retarded arm, shes a 10)
- Al Jazeera English is considered the most bestest unbiased news source on Reddit... because it panders to their worldview. But at least its better than Faux News because that shit is for white faggots
- Grammar but only if they disagree with your opinion.
How to get onto the front page of Reddit
- Copy anything from 4chan and upload it, Reddit is a place full of people who think they are "better" than 4chan, when in reality 99% of it is 4chan.
- Write a self post claiming to be a girl with a random question. Wait 3 hours and then come back to have as many comments as positive karma points.
- Proclaim that Glenn Beck is the devil (2009-2011)
- State that the war in Iraq was/is illegal.
- Claim the United States created ISIS
- Compare Comcast to Hitler
- Say something along the lines of "Now I'm not a huge fan of Obama, but he's done a pretty good job so far, and I want to suck his black person dick."
- Make a post about how America has become a Police State.
- State that Call of Duty: [insert title name less than three years old] is a crappy game and that
Team Fortress 2any game is much better.
- Rationalize video game piracy.
- Outline your dismay about marijuana being illegal.
- Call Israel the "New Nazis". Other Redditors will love you for this as Reddit is a pro-Hamas website.
- Make it known that you think Sarah Palin is stupid.
- Remind everyone that Hannity still hasn't been waterboarded.
- Make up a story about being poor and beg for money.
- Help the disabled get a traveling show.
- Complain about the site being slow or a feature not working.
- AFGHANISTAN, AFGHANISTAN, AFGHANISTAN!
- Make up a story about how you were falsely accused of rape or if you're in one of the female dominated subs then just make up about being raped.
- Make up a story about your fictional wife abandoning you and your children.
- STEPHEN COLBERT MENTIONED REDDIT! OMFG!
- Those dumb Republicans!!!!! Amirite guise? Amirite? BROFIVE!
- BREAKING: An Israeli Jew in Jerusalem has dropped a piece of litter. Upvote this to raise awareness!
- Post a random photograph of a random animal. For extra kudos describe how you rescued the animal from a shelter or how it belongs to your girlfriend. Obvious lies because nobody on reddit has a girlfriend
How to game the reddit community/get gilded
Reddit is mostly populated by pseudo-intellectuals, like most pseudo-intellectuals their opinions are simplistic and predictable. To get karma all you have to do is post what they like and avoid posting what they don't like. Occasionally participating in one of these circle jerks will help you continue trolling without having to deal with the limitations associated with negative karma.
Things reddit likes
- Pedobear (2007-2010)
- Sympathy for pedophiles (2007-2011)
- Cat pictures (2006-2012)
- Getting worthless degrees and complaining about being unemployed (primarily r/adviceanimals)
- Complaining about how people with tattoos are discriminated against. If you bring up how they did it to themselves then they call you a drone or some shit.
- Transgender trap jokes (2006-2010)
- Sarah Jessica Parker horse jokes (2009-2012)
- Bill Hicks (2006-2010)
- Louis C.K. (2009-2011)
- TV Tropes
- Obama (2008-2011)
- Anything from the 90's
- Seeing other redditors in the wild (2008-2011)
- Photos of homosexual weddings (2009-2010)
- Ron Paul (2007-2012)
- Bernie Sanders (2015-present)
- Justifying piracy (2006-2011)
- Gordon Ramsay
- Bill Murray
- John Candy
- Football, no not that one, REAL football because Americans are uncultured pigs
- Northern Europe, or as they like to be called, "the rest of the world".
- Comparing the United States to Nazi Germany
- Comparing the United States to Soviet Occupied-Germany
- Julian Assange hero worship (2010-2013)
- Edward Snowden hero worship (2013-present)
- The Guardian (2012-present)
- Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (2013-present)
- Techdirt (2012-present)
- TorrentFreak (2008-present)
- Russia Today (2011-2013)
- Al Jazeera (2008-present)
- Socialism (primarily r/politics and r/Europe)
- Cousins/siblings/spouses, etc with Autism
- Gun ownership
- The National Rifle Association (NRA)
- Defending the Confederacy (primarily r/news)
- Gun show loophole
- Donald Trump (varies and sporadic)
- Iran (2007-2011)
- Palestine (2007-2011)
- Sikhs soldiers that bring knives onto civilian planes but when in combat zones refuse to wear basic safety equipment such as helmets or gas masks.
- Bitching about how r/ImGoingToHellForThis is offensive.
- The quote "Time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted" to justify their gaming addiction.
- The legalization of prostitution
- Sympathy for Nazi Germany
- Nazi fashion
- Revisionist history
- Being ironic
- Mentioning human rights violations committed by countries other than Germany and explicitly stating that they were worse than the holocaust.
- Chastising people for bringing up German war crimes committed during WWII.
- Claiming Muslims aren't "true" Danes, French, Swedes, Belgians, etc.
- Calling Americans racist.
- In-N-Out/Five Guys/Whataburger
- Steroid use
- Steve Irwin
- Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls (r/movies)
- Drake & Josh (r/television)
- Masturbating in public restrooms (2008-2011)
- Underage girls
- Old Memes
- Anything Nintendo pulls out their ass
- Anything Valve steams out of their faucet
- San Francisco
- Saying "the terrorists have won" (non-ironically, 2006-2011)
- Driving while high (2007-2010)
- European Monarchies
- The quotes "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it" and "Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires". Because it helps justify their lack of financial success and paints the United States in a negative light.
- Accusing people of being "shills" when someone disagrees with them.
- Telling transgender women they're beautiful (2009-present)
- Nail art (2011-present)
- Feminism (r/TrollXChromosomes, r/TwoXChromosomes)
Things that reddit doesn't like
- The United States
- Hershey's chocolate
- Israel (One of the few things Reddit and /pol/ agree on)
- Circumcision (Possibly because it's something that mostly only Jews and Americans practice.)
- Drone strikes
- Papa John's/Papa John
- Fedoras (2012-present)
- People who aren't sexually attracted to transgenders (2011-present)
- People who feel uncomfortable when women breastfeed in public
- People who don't like Obama (2008-2011)
- Obama (2012-present)
- STEM majors or any major that results in gainful employment (primarily r/adviceanimals)
- Women (2007-2010)
- Modern cartoons that are not made by the animators of Adventure Time
- Being friendzoned (2007-2010)
- The term "friendzoned" (primarily r/adviceanimals)
- The College Liberal meme (r/adviceanimals, r/TwoXChromosomes, r/TrollXChromosomes)
- Edward Snowden criticism (2013-present)
- Encyclopedia Dramatica
- Socializing with others
- Requiring background checks to purchase firearms
- Being asked to smile
- CNN (2013-)
- The New York Times (2013-)
- Criticism of Nintendo
- "Xbone" (2013)
- People who play games on consoles (with exception of Nintendo, 2014-present)
- Racism against whites (2008-present)
- Muslims (primarily r/worldnews, r/politics and r/Europe)
- Roma (r/Europe)
- Immigrants (r/worldnews, r/news, r/Europe)
- Gun control (primarily r/worldnews and r/news)
- People with autism (r/cringepics)
- Comic Sans
- People who pre-order video games (r/gaming, r/PCMasterRace)
- Gun ownership (primarily European subreddits)
- Baby boomers
- Judging women by their appearance (2013-present)
- Gender constructs
- Men (r/TrollXChromosomes, r/TwoChromosomes), extra hatred if they're straight.
- Christians (r/news, r/atheism)
- Woody Harrelson's AMA
- Home Owner Associations
- Not being allowed to get close to children
- Using public restrooms
- DLC (/r/gaming)
- Sympathy for bullies
- Acknowledgement of sexism (r/gaming)
- Acknowledgement of heightism (r/TwoXChromosomes and other female dominated subs)
- The phrase "they hate us for our freedom" (2007-2010)
- And most importantly, You
The Default Shutdown
On July 2, 2015 reddit ground to a halt after the admins randomly banned prominent admin Victoria, who handled all of reddits AMAs. The reddit community, being composed of euphoric basement dwellers, immediately revolted, shutting down some of the most popular default subreddits in an act of defiance in order to bring the site to a standstill.
Many theories exist as of the moment as to why the admins banned Victoria, but most people speculate her ties to ISIS had something to do with it. Others on the other hand point to a botched AMA featuring Jesse Jackson in which Victoria did not delete a post calling him a media whore and asking him how his relationship with his illegitimate niglet was. This post was immediately promoted to the top and was answered by Jackson with a rambling nonsensical statement. This coming so soon after the sjw takeover of reddit was seen by some as the new ownership taking things too far.
E-Famous Reddit Users
Saydrah (aka that fucking bitch whore of a cunt) was a female power user on Reddit who was outed by the unwashed masses after it was revealed that she had been offering to submit links for people in exchange for money. On her LinkedIn profile, Saydrah bragged about how she was "respected" and "influential" within the Reddit community. Once this all came to light, Redditors shat their pants in anger, grabbed their pitchforks and set forth in motion, the biggest witch hunt (moar liek bitch hunt, amirite?) in Reddit history. As the mob mentality steadily took over, 9/10 submissions on the Reddit front page became Saydrah-related (as opposed to pictures of cats with captions on them), as thousands of angry male Redditors screamed out for her blood. Saydrah even complained about her family receiving threatening phone calls, which shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, as Reddit is serious business. It is also widely believed by Redditors that Saydrah was the pilot flying the helicopter in the Wikileaks video and that she was also somehow connected to the events on 9/11.
Karmanaut is the first karmawhore. At first his antics where appreciated and he soon became the user with highest karma on all of reddit. But soon the site became flooded with karmawhores and everybody became tired of his shit, downvoting him whenever possible. Karmanaut is a confirmed compulsive liar, stating he is a law student and has a girlfriend even though he spends every waking moment posting on reddit. He also has a bunch of confirmed sockpuppet alts, like probablyhittingonyou, bechus etc. which he use to praise himself. Epic lulz where had when he used his mod status on r/IAmA to ban shitty_watercolour, coincidentally at the same time as he overtook karmanauts throne as top karmawhore. Now he just inhabits the top thread on r/subredditdrama.confirms he is the stereotype of a whiny internet prince.
Possibly the most batshit insane user on Reddit; and that's saying a lot. When not making statements about Jews controlling the weather, johnny_cash spends his time accusing other Redditors of being disinformation agents. Funnily enough, a lot of johnny_cash's comments end up getting positive scores on Reddit. This is especially true in r/politics, where every crazy tinfoil-hat-wearing leftard applauds him for his insightful comments. He decided that he was unpopular when he hit the -3000 mark and started posting the same stuff under the name jerimiah_johnson.
For April Fool's Day, Redditors had a totally new and original idea: choose one random obscure Youtube video and propel it to fame. To select the video, they elected trusted Reddit user I_RAPE_CATS. Unfortunately for the lonely neckbeards over on Reddit, I_RAPE_CATS purposely chose his friend's Youtube video, who in turn, added advertising to the video in order to make them some money.
He is also the founder of 'Spacedicks', a section of Reddit which is basically just a watered down /b/ with more capital letters. Reddit has collectively forgotten about I_RAPE_CATS.
Sure_Ill_Draw_That, shitty_watercolour, AWildSketchAppeared etc.
Instead of writing comments like a normal person, these people reply to people with crudely-drawn comics. Redditors cream their pants whenever they respond because the majority of Reddit users are hopeless nerds who will die from virginity.
Laurelai is a known troll, "she" was a moderator on reddit's ShitRedditSays board, as well as several of the LGBT boards. "She" is known for banning anyone who disagrees with her from her tranny circlejerk. She was actually banned from ShitRedditSays' fempire for
being a pedo posting dox of a 17 year old. She proceed to eventually make an alternate account by the name of Castiella and weasled her way back into the fempire until her ban was recently lifted.
Spends his life on reddit answering biology-related questions and got famous for it. He even has his own wikipedia page. Banned for vote manipulation.
Has most combined karma on the damn site, and all he does is cross post. Which for some reason is encouraged by Reddit themselves. Also not to mention he had gotten shadowbanned but soon returned.
Basement lusr who was one of their earliest power whores. Been on since 2008 and pathetic as hell insane robot boy. Once he had the top karma score of all redditors and was lulz famous, has since lost interest thanks to being screamed at about the Victoria scandal. Still moderates 100+ subreddits despite having given up and prob has hundreds of sock accts. Typical.
When does the narwhal bacon?
"When does the narwhal bacon?" is a question Redditors ask to help them identify other Redditors in public places. The correct answer to this query is "The narwhal bacons at midnight." Redditors invented this because they believe that Reddit is some sort of secret online club. This makes them quite similar to /b/tards, in the sense that members of both groups will never have intercourse with a woman.
Generally speaking, a Reddit meme tends to be a 4chan hand-me-down that lost its currency many years ago, typically misunderstood, poorly translated into the language of Reddit, and with all the original humor sucked out of it.
Here is a list of interesting and funny memes that were popularized by Reddit:
Here is a list of other memes that were popularized by Reddit:
- Waffles? Don't you meant Carrots? HAHAHAHAHA
- Le monkey face
- Broken arms
- Chilli soap
- Cum box
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- Bernie Sanders
- Ellen Pao
- Fedora - The Redditor's headwear of choice.
- Popular Opinion
- Reddit Copypasta
- Reddit Island
- Ron Paul
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