Retarded Animal Babies

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Not to be confused with babyfurs, e.g. actual retarded animal babies.

Retarded Animal Babies (or RAB in acronym form) is Flash cartoon rip off of Happy Tree Friends that was squeezed from the rectum of David Lovelace and flushed into the servers of Newgrounds in 2003. The first episode is notable for such things as a hamster jumping on set of double D tits, a close up view of a dog's dick, and a donkey eating ham salad. Seeing comedy gold, Lovelace returned to portajohn to make 20 more episodes.

RAB DVD YOYOYO

There are currently 23 episodes of Retarded Animal Babies that have been released, two of which are exclusive to DVDs released by David Lovelace's self-owned company LCD Productions.

RAB has all the elements catering to the NG aspie sense of humor, which involves cute things being killed. It's supposed to be funny because cute children's stuff being killed and swearing is ironic, GET IT?!?!

In addition to random swearing, farts, violence, lots of blood, and general retardation; Retarded Animal Babies tops it all off with the inclusion of random tits and penises to make it perfectly in tune with their 13 year old audience. Every episode has more than a million views, and RAB has been nominated for several awards, further proving that the current youth generation is the most violently retarded in the history of mankind.

Have We Seen This Before?

If you have been on the internets long enough, you will get this wicked sense of deja-vu watching Retarded Animal Babies...like you have seen something exactly identical...like say Happy Tree Friends?. But amazingly enough, the author passes this similarity as totally unintentional:


   
 
UPDATE 4/14/2003: Thanks for all the great reviews and ratings. Since about 100 of you mentioned a similarity to HAPPY TREE FRIENDS on mondomedia.com, and it had been four years since I saw it myself, I decided to go watch it again. AND DAMN IT IS SIMILAR, ISN'T IT. Oh, well. Unintentional. Unintentional, not unlike a drunken pregnancy. In Arkansas. The best ideas are already done! And apparently, the worst ones are, too..
 

 
 

—Dave

Excellent use of the "It's been done already, so it's perfectly OK to copy it exactly and still claim originality" rationale. But at least with Happy Tree Friends, the episodes seem to make some sense, where as in Retarded Animal Babies they focus on everything being random and non sequitur. In other words, Retarded Animal Babies is to Happy Tree Friends as Uncyclopedia is to Wikipedia. It is possible to have an upgrade on stupid. It was also banned from TOW, so for that it deserves props.

Major characters

Warning: descriptions of offensive, scatological, and sexual situations follow. Christ this makes me wanna poot.

"Bunny"

Bunny: A yellow rabbit. His main gimmick in the series is that he is killed in every episode (with few exceptions) yet always returns unharmed in the next one (similar to Kenny McCormick of the TV series South Park). He is arguably the kindest-hearted of the group, but has been known to frequently show an evil, angrier side. Bunny is obsessed with Japanese pop culture, as can be noted by the "Elder Gods Effect", his mentioning of the OVA Urotsukidoji in RAB episode 5, and wearing a Japanese Red-sun flag as a head cover in RAB episode 15.

"Cat"

Cat: An orange cat. Apparently the smartest and most articulate of the RABs, not necessarily the "straight man" of the group. His ideas are generally dismissed by Bunny or Puppy. Cat and Puppy frequently have arguments over various things. Cat is also the only character shown to have a home. He lives with his drunken stepfather. Cat is a huge fan of the classic movie A Christmas Story. Cat also has a cousin who appears in some episodes. Cat's real parents are a hooker and Donkey (though this was only stated in one episode.

"Donkey"

Donkey: A gray donkey. He is easily the most foolish of the RABs (in RAB 15, he says that "[his] mind is fuzzier than Puppy's ballsack"), as well as the character least likely to become angry. He also speaks in a Southern accent, even though, as Cat's stepfather suggested in RAB 5, he is a Canadian. He commonly gets normal things confused, uses things incorrectly, and doesn't make a lot of sense when he talks. For example, in RAB 5, he suggests everyone catch thumbtacks on their bare eyes. The group did not follow his advice, but did in RAB 14 when he suggested that they "make a giant shit pie and eat 'em all ups." He frequently annoys Puppy, who resorts to beating Donkey to silence him.

"Hamster"

Hamster: A beige hamster. Lovelace has said "he is either the smartest or the dumbest of the characters." Much like Cat's obsession with A Christmas Story, Hamster has an unhealthy obsession with Bruce Willis, even going as far as staying a virgin because he was "saving himself" for Willis. Most RAB fans see him as being the "cute" character. He also has grammar problems, Some notable examples being: "It are" (It is), "I are" (I am), "We am" (We are), "It are blackerest in here" (It's dark in here). Hamster cheers for very unusual reasons: in RAB 3, he cheered when Pico was cursed at by Puppy. In RAB 6, he cheered when Puppy confessed a murder. In RAB 8, he cheered when Puppy allowed him to have sex with Bruce Willis, and in RAB 10 he cheered when Puppy was about to climax while having sex with Cat's stepfather's computer. Hamster is the only character who can end an RAB episode, and he does so by saying "THE END!" Simpsons creator Matt Groening ended RAB 3 by assassinating the RAB cast, killing Hamster by shooting him in the head.

"Puppy"

Puppy: A brown dog. He is the main focus of most RAB episodes. Puppy is obsessed with sexual intercourse and breasts, but has little success attracting women. He has a very short temper, which causes him to attack, and sometimes kill, the other characters. In one episode, his obsession with women was revealed to have stemmed from having no female role models (his mother died during child birth). He is the only character shown with a visible penis & testicles. His alter ego, a satirical super-villain called the "Fucking Fucker", appears occasionally. Puppy is the most foul-mouthed character. In RAB 8, plus a crossword puzzle "Easter egg" hidden in a future episode, it is revealed that Puppy's father is Sean Connery.

"Satan"

Satan The Devil himself. First appeared when Donkey brought him for Show and Tell along with three potatoes and a bucket full of pelicans. Satan has appeared in almost all episodes of RAB to date.

Recurring Characters

Cat's Stepdad A notorious drunk and a stereotypically repressed homosexual. He sleeps excessively, smokes marijuana, and frequently threatens to injure or kill Cat. He also has a hatred for Cat's friends. During high school, he was an avid Dungeons & Dragons player, which he attempted to hide from others and also turned him to drugs and alcohol. His character was a half-elf paladin, which Cat's Cousin (see below) said was against the rules of the game. He often calls Cat or his friends "queer".

Cat's Cousin She comes to visit Cat and his stepdad occasionally. Cat considers her very annoying. When she's hanging out with the RABs, she serves as the straight man of the group, but has little success containing the others. In RAB 13, Cat's cousin plays the role of "Catmé" during the RABs' parody of Star Wars. She plays Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokémon.

Hamster's Gumpa (Grandpa) A centenarian and war veteran (presumably from World War II). During the war, he lost both his hands. They were replaced with hooks. Due to this, he has mutilated his genitals while attempting to masturbate. According to Cat, he smells like cabbage.

Leprechaun Aliens They are attempting to take over the world by getting everyone drunk, then stealing their souls such that no one will be able to stop the invasion. The aliens are invisible to the common eye, though sunglasses found by the RABs can make them visible. The aliens plan to return in 2007 to try the invasion again. Matt Groening was also revealed to be working with the aliens. The leprechaun characters were borrowed from another Lovelace cartoon, The Sci-Fi Guys.

Matt Groening Creator of Life in Hell, The Simpsons, and Futurama. Considering Retarded Animal Babies as a threat to his upcoming Simpsons movie, he disguises himself as a sheep in RAB 3 to interrupt their "Show and Tell" day and kills them all (Hamster's death is not shown). In the next episode, all characters reappeared, unharmed. Groening was revealed to be working with aliens planning world domination later in the series.

Pico The unofficial mascot of Newgrounds. He appears in 4 episodes, stating that he feels RAB is a bad ripoff of Happy Tree Friends. His speech subtitles are always in leet-speak. He appeared in episode 2 and 3 complaining about RAB, in 15 with no dialogue, and in 23 as Puppy's marriage councilor

The Fucking Fucker Puppy's alter ego. First appeared as his superhero for playtime. He later reappeared in an attempt to have sex with a woman in a bar, and sang lead vocals as "Fucking Fucker" for the band "FUCK" in RAB 11. Lovelace later used Puppy in the panel artwork for a guitar amplifier made by Metasonix, called the "Fucking Fucker".

Boozy and Karen Boozeborne An obvious parody duo of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, the heavy-metal duo host a contest in RAB 11 to join the Battle for Boozefest. The song by the RAB band "FUCK" ends up destroying Western civilization, but the Boozebornes never actually see Fuck's video because Puppy decided just to videotape his penis for a few minutes. Cat agrees with the strategy because the contest is hosted by MTV, and Cat says, "They hate music over there."

List of Episodes

Warning: descriptions of offensive, scatological, and sexual situations follow. Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

All except RAB 9 and 16 and Engadget Animal Babies are available for viewing on Newgrounds[1].

  • RAB 1 - "Retarded Animal Babies": The RABs recite their version of the alphabet, which includes such inaccuracies as "E is for Pants", "XXX is for porno and beer", and "splunge is for splunge."
  • RAB 2 - "Magic!": The RABs hold a magic show of sorts that has an alternate ending the web viewer may select by clicking on Hamster at the end.
  • RAB 3 - "Show and Hell": The RABs hold "Show and Tell". This episode introduces many supporting cast members of the series, such as Satan (brought by Donkey, along with three potatoes and a bucket full of pelicans), Matt Groening (who comes disguised as a sheep to murder all the main characters), Hamster's grandfather, and Cat's stepfather.
  • RAB 4 - "Stupor Heroes!": The actual episodes featuring the RABs are hidden among channels on an animated TV set. The main episode, on channel 9, shows the RABs playing superhero. Puppy's recurring "Fucking Fucker" alter ego is introduced as revenge for Cat's Purple Penis hero, which Puppy originally wanted. On channel 123, the RABs count to 10, a la their pilot episode. Any channel that doesn't have its own movie to go with it, will randomly show static, color bars, a Please Stand By test pattern, an Annoying Noise Test, a Technical Difficulties screen, or scrambled porn.
         o -TV Channels
               + 0- Parody of The Ring featuring Hamster.
               + 1- "The Flesh Network": Parodies stereotypical porn plots; the actors are cats.
               + 2- Ass Masters: A fishing show with two homosexual men fishing.
               + 3- Parody of Verizon Wireless commercial
               + 4- "VH4": parody of a VH1 Documentary
               + 5- Starts as a nature documentary about the "Yellow Shafted Titsucker" (a bird resembling Puppy) is part of a fictional Twilight Zone episode.
               + 6- Nam Show: parody of The Man Show
               + 7- Hack to teh Suxxor: parody of Back to the Future
               + 8- Squirminator 4: parody of The Terminator
               + 9- Starts Episode
               + 10- A commercial involving two female cats advertising a cleaner for dirty pussies.
               + 50- The Who Caresy Show
               + 69- Porn that parodies Star Trek
               + 100- Centegenarian Weekly: Consists of Hamster's grandpa sleeping.
               + 111- "The Binary Channel"
               + 123- A special Retarded Animal Babies episode which involves the RAB counting from one to ten.
               + 500- "The Seizure Channel"
               + 666- Satan eating children
               + 999- Channel 666, upside down.
  • RAB 5 - "Dungeons & Christwagons": The RABs meet Cat's cousin, play Dungeons & Dragons, smoke Cat's stepdad's stash of weed, and discover the stepdad's embarrassing past. (Satan appears in the end credits, angry that he was not cast in an episode including Dungeons & Dragons). This is the first episode in which Bunny does not die.
  • RAB 6 - "Fucky Fucksgiving": The RABs attempt to kill a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, but fail spectacularly. Donkey and Hamster, who gain expanded minds from the "endless parade of weed" that the characters are smoking, merge into one being to fight the turkey. In the end, the characters have to eat Puppy's & Cat's lower torsos instead, ironically leaving Bunny, who the turkey killed, alone.
  • RAB 7 - "Shitty Shitsmas": The RABs celebrate Christmas. A narrator follows Cat's quest for a Red Rider BB gun (per A Christmas Story). Santa is revealed to be Satan, who grants Cat his wish. Cat, Puppy and Bunny all die: Cat kills himself and Bunny with the gun, and Puppy, who Santa gives an enormous penis, sucks himself into oblivion.
  • RAB 8 - "Cunty Cuntingstine Day": The RABs go to a club to try and have sexual intercourse with hot women, Hamster's love of Bruce Willis is revealed after mentioning him in almost every prior episode, and Puppy's sad past is revealed - his misogynistic attitude is a result of his mother dying in childbirth. Bunny is beaten by a woman, and Donkey is raped in prison.
  • RAB 9 - "Pirate Ship": Puppy goes around to his friends with a cool idea. He asks all of the other animal babies to hold their tongue and say "I was born on a pirate ship." This made it sound as if they said "I was born on a pile of shit." Only available on the DVDs Every Little Something By DAVE and The Definitive Retarded Animal Babies DVD.
  • RAB 10 - "fux0rrz": The RABs surf Cat's stepfather's computer for Internet porn, but get zapped into the World Wide Web, a la the movie Tron. Puppy is frustrated that he cannot find naked pictures online, and instead has sex with the computer's "3.5 inch floppy dick" drive. They meet themselves from the beginning of the episode and create a time paradox that destroys the universe. Bunny dies when he accidentally decapitates himself with his Tron frisbee, but he is technically alive when the RABs meet themselves. Bunny notices he does not have a double and says, "Did I die again? God fucking damn."
  • RAB 11 - The RABs form a heavy metal group called Fuck and win the TV show Battle For Böözefest. They play a song of Rammstein, & the lyrics used on the subtitles are in English, even though the song is in German (making it an animutation). The song destroys Western civilization and the viewer gets to select which character goes on the tour bus with Böözy's virgins to repopulate Earth. Bunny only dies if you click on him (Puppy shoves a guitar up his ass).
  • RAB 12 - The RABs attempt to get gold from an Irish bar to score chicks, but end up stopping a world domination plot instead. They find some special glasses in the alley of "McFisticuffy's", a bar frequented by Cat's stepfather. The episode is a parody of John Carpenter's They Live, right down to Cat's line "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum." Cat saves the life of his ungrateful stepfather, who tells the bartender that he drinks because of his "queer son and his fag friends." (Ironically, Cat's stepfather came out of the closet as a homosexual in RAB 5.)
  • RAB 13 - The RABs, Satan and Cat's cousin play Star Wars in the field. This episode breaks with the traditional start of RAB by parodying the introduction to the Star Wars movies. The game of make-believe quickly goes awry because Puppy has only seen Episodes I and II and Cat has only seen Episodes IV through VI. Bunny is killed with a shovel and Donkey is beaten senseless by Puppy for playing Jar Jar Binks, instead of "P-PPpu".
  • RAB 14 - Primarily set 50 years in the future. The lives of the RABs are explored, revealing them to have, for the most part, evolved into intelligent, revered celebrities. Cat becomes a renowned scientist, and Bunny an actor who wins a lifetime achievement award for playing Hamster, who becomes a military hero by saving Earth from a killer asteroid. The asteroid, however, was sent by Puppy, who had become the cruel absolute ruler of a planet made entirely out of breasts. Donkey lives on a farm, is as stupid as ever, and is so morbidly obese that his grandchildren have to scrub him daily so he does not get maggots. Cat invents a dodecahedral Alternate Physical Law Usurper to send them all into an alternate universe where they can stay young and retarded forever. This is the second episode in which Bunny does not die.
  • RAB 15 - "Pendumbvirate": This episode marks the series third birthday. With the exception of Cat, the other animals reminisce about their past (much like a clip show) though, as Cat quite obviously points out, they are only an internet cartoon, and therefore did not exist before 2003. The episode satirizes internet phenomena, most notably the Hampster Dance and Badger Badger Badger, as well as the usual 1980s pop-cultural spoofs that appear throughout the series. This, RAB 5, and MAB are the only cartoons in the series where Bunny does not truly die.
  • RAB 16 - a sequel to episode 14. Only available on the DVD The Definitive Retarded Animal Babies.
  • RAB 17 - "Sucky Suckaween": A Halloween Special.
  • RAB 18 - "Hey, Everyone, Let's Do Some Motherfucking Drugs": Puppy has a drug trip.
  • RAB 19 - "Dog Complex": Puppy fucks the earth, which subsequently gives birth to a dog-like super being.
  • RAB 20 - "On Ur Puter": An Easter Special.
  • RAB 21 - "The Red Erection": The gang visits the 4-H Fair, where many standard hi-jinks ensue, such as Puppy meeting and fucking his hot cousin, Bunny arguing with a guy selling audio equipment, and Donkey gaining (and quickly losing) access to a land of unicorns. This episode marks the beginning of what is known as the "Puppy's Cousin Saga" that consists of the series' final three canon episodes.
  • RAB 22 - "Wedding Balls": Taking place a short time after the previous episode, Puppy and his cousin get married, but not before Puppy gets to enjoy his bachelor party.
  • RAB 23 - "Dark Days": Realizing that marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be, Puppy decides to get marriage counseling, but after realizing that it wasn't doing any good, he does what any sane husband would do and kills her and the marriage councilor as the Fucking Fucker. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang seeks out another character to fill the void Puppy's absence left, eventually settling for a black stereotype named Black Panther.
  • "Magic Animal Babies" - A commercial advertisement made for a contest by Magic Hat Brewery. It depicts the RABs endorsing the various beer types made by Magic Hat. It is not considered part of continuity with the other cartoons in the series, nor is there any profanity, sex (Puppy's genitalia are not hanging out, for instance) and very little violence, as required for a general TV audience. MAB won the contest. Creator David Lovelace won a $6,000 bar set for his efforts (as discussed on his website). Bunny, however, is flattened by a large anvil.
  • "Engadget Animal Babies" - A TV advertisement made for a contest by Engadget.com. Cat is shooting a commercial for the company with Puppy, who mixes up the words dicks and disks. Like Magic Animal Babies, there's no violence or sex, but Puppy's genitalia are not removed, and any profanity is bleeped out.

Other information

  • Many people have noticed similarities between Retarded Animal Babies and the Happy Tree Friends series. Though it is true that HTF debuted before RAB, and Lovelace admitted he had seen HTF before he created RAB, he swore the similarities were unintentional. Um hum. Spoofing the incident, Lovelace placed the Pico character from Newgrounds in RABs 2, 3, and 15 (Newgrounds users were the first to point out the similarity). He is seen calling RAB a ripoff in RAB 2 and 3. He is killed in RAB 2 and cursed out by Puppy in RAB 3. In RAB 15, a figure similar to Pico is seen at the arcade. Also, in RAB 10, one of the webpages they passed by was the HTF homepage, which Puppy said was just "ripping us off", calling HTF "gay".
  • Lovelace has placed at least one Easter egg in each RAB cartoon (except the Magic Animal Babies commercial). Each one involves clicking on an object or character during the cartoon. Lovelace has tied some of these in with contests. Others have had hidden games, pictures, and storyboards. An easy method of finding these is by holding the Tab key during the cartoon. A yellow box should appear over the clickable object/character.
  • Character deaths aren't the only incidents that happen in the RAB series that break continuity. For example, in RAB 5, Cat's stepdad revealed he was gay, Cat's mom was a transvestite, Cat was adopted, and his real parents were a hooker and Donkey, who was also revealed to be from Canada (these secrets cause a stunned Cat's head to explode). None of this has ever been elaborated on in future episodes however.
  • In RAB 11, the RABs form a band called "Fuck", poking fun at KISS, as Bunny is made up like Gene Simmons. A longtime rumor states that when KISS originally formed, they almost settled on calling their band "Fuck".
  • RAB 4 is one of many virtual channels available on the TV featured in the cartoon. By clicking the correct numbers on the remote control, you can access a secret RAB episode (Channel 123), as well as hidden TV shows, commercials, and channels, some of which don't involve RAB characters.
  • David Lovelace makes other flash animations that have been submitted to Newgrounds, such as Sno Problem, Sci-Fi Guys, Jot and Jab and Farkman (for the Fark website).Sno Problem features characters resembling Hamster, but none of these cartoons feature actual RABs themselves.
  • RAB has used many TV, music, & movie references for storylines and episode features.
  • The voices of the adult RABs from RAB 14 were provided by the Hartford, CT based cast and crew of radio station WCCC, where Lovelace once was an intern. Longtime WCCC DJ Michael Picozzi, who voices the adult Bunny in this episode, also provided narration for RAB 7.
  • In RAB 15 it is revealed in the credits the pitch changes in Lovelace's voice to voice each character. Puppy and Donkey change by one fifth, Cat by one sixth, Bunny by one seventh and Hamster by one octave.
  • On The RAB MySpace, Lovelace announced that he animated the video for "Virus Alert", one of "Weird Al" Yankovic's songs from the album Straight Outta Lynwood. The video is available on the DVD side of the DualDisc version of the album.

See Also

External links


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