Rotten Tomatoes

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Rotten Tomatoes is run with all the love and care of Grandma's Pie shop.
Your mom's coochstink, where bad movies go.

Rotten Tomatoes worthless tool for finding out if the your average filmophile thinks a movie sucks or not. This is determined by %s:

  • 90% or higher: Currently being trolled by fans (i.e. Twilight). Rating off by 200%.
  • 75% or higher: Average amount of trolls under this bridge. Rating off by 75%.
  • 45%-74% range: Irradiated desert where a few unbiased reviews roam the wasteland.
  • 25%-45% range: Where the true cinematic gems are hiding.
  • Below 25%: Face it, even the diehard trolls don't like these.

On the site, there are the ratings of the super leet approved "T-meter critics" and the ratings of the "RT community". These two ratings can differ from times to times.

In short, any douchebag with a domain name and enough site views can make a movie sound good. This site cannot be trusted as it gave Bareback Mountain an 84%, Paranormal Activity an 83% and Million Dollar Baby a 91%. For some reason, it has Toy Story 2 ranked higher than The Godfather in the top movies section, despite The Godfather having a higher user rating and a higher average score.

Government

This site is run by nerd-hating Jews. The Jews pick a random number for a movie and let the nerds kill each other debating said score. They are similar to the manatees that run Family Guy since they pick shit at random, but differ in that they want money.

See Also

External Links

  • Rotten Tomatoes – The site itself, douchebag. Rotten Tomatoes is for fuck faces who suck your dick for 3 fucking hours straight
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