The Royal Family

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Fuck off you! I'm having the crown
 

 
 

—Charles on the rest of the crew

The British Royal Welfare Family can trace its roots back to Danish King Cunt[1] and to Adolf Hitler, and is one of the oldest institutions in the world. Famous for inventions such as the 60,000Hz fart[2] and the art of sniffing coke off footmen [3], the present incumbent, Queen Elizabeth II, is old enough to remember when gays and abortion were illegal, when the average Brit pronounced the word “house” as “hice” and freely used words like “nigger” and “chinky”. Now only her husband freely uses those words. The British Royal Family can also be called "The World's Richest Welfare Recipients"

The Royal Family-loving Jew media deleted the video.

Contents

Members of the Royal Family

Grumpy queen.jpg

Queen Elizabeth II

Elizabeth, like most members of the Royal Family, is a tender, passionate, Furry and has made love to over 57 Welsh Corgis, and some Cocker Spaniels over her years as Sovereign. In this picture we can see Her Royal Majesty opened-leg enjoying oral foreplay with Dookie, a dog she used to love almost as much as she now hates her husband.

The present Queen of Welfare has reigned over Britain since there was something worth ruling over. Now she is left with the dregs. She was temporarily deposed by Margaret Thatcher in 1989 when she was made Furher after the Falkland putsche. The Queen was reinstated in 1990 when the country realised Thatcher was a regular fucking scare-the-bairns and that the Queen, conversely, reminds us all of Nan. Especially so when you consider that she has had four kids by three different dads. Seriously, see here

PHILIP MAH BOIIIIII!!!
This photo was stolen from a private collection Charles kept hidden from Diana. Here we see Charles lovingly fisting Camilla during foreplay. A vibrator is stimulating her anus as well. This is why Chaz has horse spunk.

Prince Philip

Prince Philip was emasculated by his bitch wife when she rode him up the aisle, fucked him up the arse and forever robbed him of the chance of being King of the Greasy wops - WTF Phillip IT'S PHILIP YOU DUMBASS!!! Show the bitch where the kitchen is, amirite? In response to the shame of having the wife wear the trousers and steal his penis, Philip developed a great transferred hatred towards mankind and resorted to the life of the troll, mostly at her expense. That'll learn the cunt, Phil!

Phillip is perhaps one of the greatest IRL trolls in the UK today. To wit:

  • "Where did you get that hat?" - To his wife, the Queen, immediately after her coronation (1953)
  • "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." - said during the 1981 recession (1981)
  • "In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation" - (1988)
  • "If you stay here much longer, you'll all get slitty-eyed." - Advice to British students in China (1986)
  • "It looks like it was put in by Indians." - said after he saw a poorly-constructed fusebox (1999)
  • Edinburgh: "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"

Lord Taylor: "I'm from Birmingham." - An exchange with Lord Taylor of Warwick, who is black (1999)

  • "Do you still throw spears at each other?" - To an Aboriginal man on Australia's Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park (2002)
  • "If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"
  • "You look like you're ready for bed!" - Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes
  • "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" - After striking up a conversation with a Scottish driving instructor
  • "Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo." - When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances - GENIUS!
Charles pictured with his long time lover and mistress, Camilla the horse (before after she had plastic surgery)
The royal red-headed bastard child
Harry in the family's traditional dress uniform

Lesser Members

  • Prince Charles of Wales

Prince Charles is the son of Prince Philip of Edinburgh and Queen Elizabeth II.He was married to Princess Diana of Wales And is currently married to Princess Camila, The horse. Except she's not a Princess, you dumbass, she's a Duchess, and she's only that because Charles is also a Duke, it was a morganatic marriage (look it up) and she only got the title through wedlock. The Palace wouldn't have dared to make Camilla the Princess of Wales (even though as Charles's significant other, she is entitled to be styled thus), for fear of outraging the public by pissing on Di's grave in public. Although he may not have inherited good looks from his mother, the Queen, during his marriage to Diana he estimated that he had sex with at least 7 dozen horses, and said that the reason he stuck with camilla is because her anus was just barely big enough for him, being able to get his entire arm into it. He is also the father of Prince Harry off Wales and Prince William of Wales. The fact that his father and child are nazis is also proof that nazism skips a generation.

  • Prince Andrew of York

Nonce.

  • Princess Britney of Monaco

Generic term for younger royals who get their tits out, have sex and hang out with Eurotrash minor royalty. Like Lady Sara Philips and Hermione Granger.

Generic term for victims of the Royal Family such as the Princes in the Tower, Diana Spencer, the prostitutes of Jack the Ripper, the wives of King Henry the Eighth and Shergar.

  • Princes Harry and William

The acceptable face of Nazism and a major fap dream for young American girls who long for big throbbing Royal cock. One is the son of Prince Toby Jug, heir apparent to to the Crown of England, the other the son of James Hewitt, professional horse fellator. Can you tell? Known for killing Argentinians and wearing the Swastika whilst serving in the Armed Forces.

  • Duchess Kate Middleton

The nobody wife of Prince William that the mainstream media likes to obsess over. Famous for doing nothing but looking pretty, getting her boobies posted all over the internet, then trying to get them taken down again. The picture itself is rather shitty, as are her tits for that matter. While the Kike media failed to get Americans to love Kim Kardashian (Kate's American equivalent), they successfully got the dumb American populace to bend and bow to the welfare princess and the rest of the Royal Family further undoing the work of the Founding Fathers.

This photo was taken in France while the Duchess spread eagle herself for all to see. She later tried to get the pictures removed from the internet.

Not members of the Royal Family

People of the wrong sort who could never be accepted as members of the Royal Family

The death of Lady Diana

Nuvola
Moar info: Princess Diana.

Lady Die was an attention whore, a wigger and a peace activist who had a taste for Arab dick. She had one and only one job do do - pump out an heir and a spare to Prince Charles. All she had to do was keep her knees together for long enough to pop out a couple of Windsor babies. That was all that was required of her. After doing this simple job, she could spend the rest of her entire useless life doing literally anything she fucking wanted. Anything she could think of. For the price of going into labour twice, she could have been second-richest woman in the British Isles, and queen to boot. The only thing, the only fucking thing anyone asked of her was to not pop out a ginger sprog who was obviously no relation at all to Her Majesty the Queen.

After causing a massive fall in the share price of the Duke of Edinburgh's landmine investments and getting herself knocked up by a fucking Muslim, she naturally had to die[4] and was sentenced to death by Fiat Punto. She has since become a Dead Gay Icon and along with Dorothy, Marilyn Monroe and Freddie Mercury is much loved by Elton John. Her death led to the kidnapping of Shergar to provide a replacement shag for Prince Charles.

See Also

Breaking news (28/02/08) - Americans plot to kill Prince Harry

An American website has told Al Qaeda where Prince Harry is fighting in Afghanistan [5] so that he'll be easier to blow up with a roadside bomb.

Other helpful information for potential assassins -

  • Code name: Widow 67
  • Call Sign: Budgie


Harry in Afghanistan last Thursday

Who says Murdoch and the Sun hate the Royals?

Harrys back in chelsy.jpg

Yeah, like so this is such a good joke right, cos Harry’s girlfriend is called Chelsy and they went to a party in Chelsea, and so the Sun said “Harry’s back in Chelsea” like we’re meant to think that he’s back in Chelsy, like he’s got his cock in her vagoo or something. Brilliant!

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Article of the Nao May 1, 2011
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