Ryle Garamonde

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
What? This article needs moar screenshots and less quotes.
You can help by adding moar screenshots and less quotes.
Lol at these losers thinking people want to steal their pictures
Ryle finds out the hard way that Vampire Freaks rating points can’t be used as credential
"Pedophiles" linked to this very article.
Ryle confesses his love to another woman whom is most likley underage

Ryle Garamonde (a.k.a. Ryle, Pedoryle, Gayle) is a twenty-something Vampire Freak from Wisconsin who sucks so bad IRL that he has to compensate by being an internet tough guy. He would rather spend his day on the internet socializing with teenagers than working to put food on the table for his three sons and fugly ex girlfriend. His primary online persona is "Ryle Gramonde," a fake name derived from a video game, used to sound cool to the loli he grooms.

Christmas at Ryle's

Due to Ryle being a poor bitch and the bank refusing his loan application, he had to beg teenagers to donate their allowances to him via PayPal and to send him their old toys for his sons. However, this wasn't too successful because he didn't' realize that teenagers are almost as poor as he is.
This was not something he was averse to doing as he had been caught doing it before and strongly warned by the site staff that it would not be tolerated.

Here is a direct cut and paste of one of Ryles dontations requests:

Alright, this is my last attempt, since I will be gone if this doesnt work out. So many people offered to help, and never came through. Its ok, maybe they forgot. In any case, my business has failed, the bills are behind, and I am in dire straits. There are a few ways you can help me and my family, and the choice is yours, should you care enough to.

Option 1: Direct Giving (PayPal link) (mailing address)

Option 2: Commission from FucktheMainstream Click Here buy some stuff, and I get a 20 percent comission if you do. Use it for all of your purchases down the road too. Doesnt cost you extra, and it helps me out.

I know some of you helped me before, and you guys rule. This problem hasnt gone away though. This isnt a new situation, this is old news, but I am getting down to the wire here, and nothing I seem to do can cut it.

Please help...

Ryle, Ryle the Pedophile

It is blatantly obvious that Ryle is a pedophile. He thoroughly enjoyed socializing with kids half his age on VF during his tenure there. And why did he have his girlfriend constantly poop out kids they can't afford? Sex toys. Can't say I blame him; I'd rather stick my dick in a kid than in his ex-girlfriend.

The demise of Ryle and LeaveMyKidzAlone

Epic own

This article got featured on the front page of VampireFreaks.com by the site owner, outing Ryle as a pedophile. Lots of stories and accusations start coming out and many members quit Ryle’s cult LeaveMyKidzAlone.

In response, Ryle threatened the site owner with internet lolsuits and anal rape, and the link was taken down (but not before almost 5000 people accessed the page). There was no legal consequence of the post on Vampire Freaks since Ryle can't actually afford an e-lawyer.

Oh, and Ryle is a pedo.

Ryle's new loves

At some time, Ryle began cheating on his wife with Sinn, an underage Vampire Freak with whom he had sex at least three times, despite the fact they never met. In early August 2007, he became engaged to TrustKills/Cheshire_Doll/Georgia (this one actually legal). It is also now common knowledge that Ryle had underage girls from his VF cult LeaveMyKidzAlone do sexual things on webcam as well as watch him masturbate to get promotions within the cult.

Staff members of his cult quit when they realised this shit was happening to a lot of them, they then got together online to try and work out what to do. Later, they felt that they had no option but to call his wife while he was at work to inform her of what he had been up to. She called him up at work and told him not to come home. They then contacted the site staff and told them what had been going on.

Ryle then tried to guilt trip those involved into doing nothing more. In one of his attempts to get back on VF, he wrote:

August 12, 2007,


So yeah. I am off to work here pretty soon. Gotta raise the family you know? Just lemme know later or something if I should worry about telling Andrea to find another job or something. Kids gotta be fed one way or another. You wanna ruin not only my life, but that of my entire family?

LeaveMyKidzAlone deleted

Butthurt about being outed as a cheater and a child predator by his cult staff, Ryle hastily deleted the precious (and ironically named) LeaveMyKidzAlone cult along with his profile in an effort to avoid being deleted, which would have resulted in his profile being left in the public domain with a banner across the top clearly marking him as deleted for being a pedophile. His willful self-deletion also allowed him to get rid of any incriminating inboxes on his profile and posts within his cult.

Vampire Freaks members rejoice that they will no longer be subjected to at least 100 daily invites to join his child pornography ring and contribute towards the upkeep of Gayle and his "family".

the Aftermath

The female LMKA staff members concerned contacted the site owner and informed him that Ryle had been collecting CP from underage Vampire Freaks members for some time, and Ryle was quickly banned. Finding himself banned from the website he literally spent all his time and money on, he probably tried to overdose and become an hero. Unfortunately, he is too much of a lardass to consume a lethal dosage of AnYtHiNg toxic so he took up lurking on Vampire Freaks with new profiles.

This message was posted to the front page of LeaveMyKidzAlone.com:

 
 
It has come to my attention, that now matter how hard I try to kill it, LMKA cannot die in the hearts of its people. So, because of this, while LMKA-VF may have died a horrible death at my hands.... an unfair one at that.... I will once again create a haven for those in need of friendship. In need of family. UNDER CONSTRUCTION"

Please also note the painfully ironic 9th rule of LeaveMyKidzAlone.com:

Sending sexual messages to minors is not tolerated, in any circumstance. The ONLY exception to this rule is bona fide advice or platonic discussion. The definition of a "minor" on this site is any user who has not yet attained their 18th year of age. I am well aware that some countries have lower ages for consent and age of majority, but those laws do not apply here. 'IF YOU TRY TO HIT ON A MINOR ON MY SITE YOU WILL BE BANNED AND PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW. '
 


 

—Haha, wow. He is a hypocrite. And a pedophile.

Public reaction

   
 
Oh no! I never saw this coming! He is innocent!
 

 
 

—Nilordien

   
 
Why Ryle? I love you!! Please come back!!!
 

 
 

—WithinSorrow

   
 
Ryle's a pedo and a drama queen. Oh and he's a homosexual viking.
 

 
 

—blackaura

   
 
I love it.
 

 
 

—sicsixsix

   
 
the lulz cant get better now can they
 

 
 

—Twistedsorrows

   
 
Always knew he was a homofag.
 

 
 

—fyrburn

   
 
That's Hot
 

 
 

—fix_me_already

   
 
i dont wanna brag i dont wanna boast i just tell them i like loli
 

 
 

—Gonna_Die_A_Virgin

   
 
I don't blame her for leaving him, he spent more time on here neglecting his kids and being a pedo than anything.
 

 
 

—Linkazord

   
 
It's funny, really. We all claim to have seen this coming, while Ryle denies having seen Cyn coming.
 

 
 

—Xenolyn

   
 
Would you like a donation?
 

 
 

—Spock

   
 
Ryle never asked me to get on webcam. :(
 

 
 

—mr_coolies

   
 
I've been waiting for this to happen for too long.
 

 
 

—shadows_life

   
 
I'm still amazed this pathetic human being paid for premium memberships, web space and internet connection yet complains theres no Christmas presents for his kids.
 

 
 

—Slade_Kraven

   
 
Fucking ace!
 

 
 

—Plague

   
 
This is an epic day.
 

 
 

—tartar

   
 
lol wut? No one believed me that TruskKills was showin him n00dz till now. I told you so. :P
 

 
 

—-Psychotix-

   
 
trauma6685


 


 
 

—I R GUILTY OF ALL WRONG DOING.

   
 
WaffleChoppa aka Ryle


 


 
 

—About fucking time.

   
 
V-Kill


 


 
 

—Fucking pedo. He hit on me when i was barely 13. castration is too good for him

the Story so far

"Now this is the story all about how
Ryle's life got flipped, turned upside down
And Id like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how Ryle became known as a broke Pedobear.

LeaveMyKidz alone was born but now raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days,
Fapping off, hard jerking, and acting all cool
And began shooting some knuckle children outside of the school

When a couple of loli that looked pretty good,
Barely even near their womanhood.
He got in one little fight and Ryle got scared
And said "I'm now well known as a big pedobear."

Ryle whistled for a chance and when it came near the
button said "delete" and he didn't reconsider.
If anything Ryle could say that this was chance rare
But he said "They won't forget it, I'M A KNOWN PEDOBEAR".

Ryle pulled all his CP about 7 or 8,
And he yelled to Andrea "Yo holmes smell ya later"
Looked at the mess he was finally there,
A broke ass an hero and a known pedobear."

PedoRyle's defense

Everyone knew Ryle loved the loli too much to stay away from Vampire Freaks, so none were surprised when he re-registered his account under the same name as before and posted this lulzy defense:

"lol ok, oh hey, you wanna bomb me off? Do it, I already said what I needed to. Oh and morons: I wasnt deleted from the site, I deleted myself. Someone remade my account then and the admins deleted that to stop the drama. So take your assumptions and shove them, seriously, youve got no idea what really fucking went down. All the supposed "proof" you've seen? LOL, that iant proof mate, thats events put together in a format to LOOK like the truth, but when taken apart, none of them could stand on their own merits. Its all doctored to make it look like something of substance. In reality, none of it really is I am a afraid =/"

Apparently, screenshots of him camming with various jailbait, outbox messages of what he had sent to underage girls and so on isn't hard evidence. Despite his account having been suspended, there is no doubt that Ryle will continue to keep coming back and posting "Best Underwear shot" contests in his new cult.

Ryle leaves the internet

Ryle finally decided that he'd been humiliated enough, and took a vow to never step foot in the internets ever again. Ryle publicly announced on his LMKA website:

 
 
As of tonight, from a myspace message I recieved, detailing to me just how much I hurt someone very dear to me... I have decided that I am no longer worthy of having anyone around me. I hope LMKA endures without me, but I am deleting my msn, my MySpace, and all my accounts everywhere.

I am rotten and selfish, and deserve nothing less than what I have recieved.

So this is goodbye, my dear friends and companions.

You will not see me again, anywhere.

Take care of each other...

I love you all... and im sorry."
 


 

—We've had enough of your love.

the Triumphant return of Ryle to the Gothic interwebs

A recent Vampire Freaks knock-off, Vampire Shitty, has taken on Ryle as a site admin. In an interview published on that website, Ryle professed his manliness and superiority over VF's owner Jet and swore revenge upon the community that banished him.

It should be noted that LeaveMyKidzAlone has a satellite "coven" on Vampire Shitty, thus providing Ryle with more kindergoths to groom up for cam-sex.

As of the revision date of this article, Vampire Shitty is accepting subscribers by admin approval only, as they are currently under a spam siege of some sort. Or so they say.

Most recently, Ryle has been encouraging members of both LeaveMyKidzAlone.com and Vampire Shitty to spam VF with links to both sites.

Update - Vampire Shitty decided to rid themselves of Ryle not long after the previous portion of the article was written. Barely a month later, Vampire Shitty folded and ceased operations.

Be sure, he will soon hack another VF cult to look for incest kiddy porn as it is his way, and that means that there must be a warning on a international level. little kids. if you are approached by ryle, be sure to kick him in the balls (or e-balls) and run like hell.

What to do if he approaches

If you ever suspect that Ryle has been approaching you either online or offline, be sure to tell the police, your parents and anyone else in power of his presence. This is because he will turn to rape if he doesn't get his daily amount of kiddy porn consistently, for he is a monster and is to be avoided.

do NOT try to kick him in the balls, or even the E-balls... he has none.

He most likely targets you at the age from 10-15. He had sex with his ex-gf's 12yo niece and likes to tell 15y.o girls they are getting too old for him.


v&?

The journal entry that finally led to Ryle's presumed arrest.

On November 20th, 2009, Vampirefreaks user Zewe posted a journal entry detailing Ryle's not-so-secretive presence on VF at the time and his e-involvement with the 16-year-old user Naadia and her 6000-strong cult "Heart" - incidentally comprised almost exclusively of 13-16-year-old girls. Within hours of the posting, the entry became the second highest rated in VF history and the userbase was up in arms. Less than a day later, dox were dug up on the girl and her school and father were notified of the situation via multiple emails from concerned citizens. Canadian police were called in with the help of the school's principal, and if the school's administration is to be believed, a fucking international investigation is finally underway. Ryle was last seen making death threats and having a complete mental breakdown, asking people about DBAN and how to do it. Srsly.


Contacting Ryle

Related Articles

Gallery

For the FBI's Files About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
Ryle Garamonde is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

Perverts

Don HenrieJerry from Doomsday Refreshment CommitteeJonathon The InhalerLustiferaMichelle BelangerRyle Garamonde

Pussies

Brittany HolechkoDimmuborgiressIckeriss69KurtBatzLarathenMatt CrimminsMissHannahMinxMsUmlautNeil GaimanNickolausPaulie CalafioreSinnSophie LancasterSuccubbusTrent Reznor

Psychos

GothzillaHouse KheperuJeff WeiseJasmine RichardsonKimveer GillLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMemoryandDreamPink SpiderSephirothslaveSebastian BosseTodd Hoyt

Posers

Dani FilthEx-RayeFesazukichanJack SpicerJetTheeReaperPaganDeathKnightTooDamnFilthyVoodoo devil dollYouZeriara

Places

BasementsColumbineDeadJournalGoth macrosHot TopicRichland Collegiate High SchoolVampire Community Message BoardVampire FreaksVampire PosersVampire Shitty

Pastimes

Aiding the Dark Lord in BattleAngstBeing EdgyCuttingDrugsGuroHomosexualityNecrophiliaNot having friendsMurderMy ImmortalPoetryRuining the InternetSchool ShootingSuicideThe Nightmare Before ChristmasVampirismWhere The Dead Go To Die

Noise

Anal CuntThe CureDoomsday Refreshment CommitteeDr. SteelDream TheaterEmilie AutumnThe GorillazInsane Clown PosseKoRnLinkin ParkNINNirvanaSlipknotTool