|This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
— Es verdad, mang, es verdad.
Lemme tell djou som'thin, mang. I good lookin' guy. I dress like tha fahkin Casanova, mang. I wear tha stylin' fahkin hat, mang, an' tha leather fahkin jacket, mang, wi' tha shiny fahkin stud on sleeve, djou know? I have tha devil smile, mang, tha fahkin leetle moustache, mang, tha dark fahkin eyes, mang, like Antonio fahkin Banderas, mang. But djou know what el Guapo don't got? I don't got no respec', mang. That somethin' to think about, mang.
The other day, I watchin' TV, and thees maricon look right at me an' he say how 'e rape some fahkin ladies in Sweden, mang. An' how Washington plottin' agains' him, mang. How he fahkin Jesus Bond, mang. How 'e fight for truth, mang. Free tha people, mang. And all thees ladies love him, mang. And all tha kids wear thees caca mask, they suck his dick, mang. He got so much llello, his hair go white, mang. I cannot believe my eye, mang. I tell my wife, djou see thees, mang? Stop doin' tha dishes an' look at thees, mang! Thees a fahkin travesty, mang! Djou know who the fahk thees guy is, mang?
My wife say, thees guy, 'e a fahkin Assange, mang.
And I say to her, so who da fahk thees maricon Assange, mang? Who da fahk he? I wanna kill thees cockaroach, mang! Why he got all tha fahkin TV show and all tha fahkin putas in Europe, mang? White hair, Australia viejo fahkin abuelo? Wha' he got tha I, Sabu, don't got? An' then it strike me. I tell djou wha', mang. He go' da respec'. How? First he got tha atención, mang.
And djou know who gave thees cockaroach Assange tha atención, mang? Tha fahkin internet, mang. Tha fahkin internet give him atención. Thas how thees white hair old piece o' caca become famoso, mang. Thas how 'e rape all tha ladies in Sweden. Why they give Assange all tha atención, mang? Huh? He can' fahkin code. I see that malaca try to fahkin code, mang. He code like he need a fahkin wheelchair, mang. Like he need a fahkin CPR. Me, I code circle round him. Djou shoul' see me at my keyboard, mang. Assange a fahkin joke, mang. He got no huevos, mang. An' Australia, eet ain't even a fahkin country, mang. Eet a fahkin desert for mamabichos! I can play his game, mang! And so a legend is born, mang.
El Guerrillero Heroico
Arriba! Arriba! Look at thees, mang! I a big man now. Say my name, mang! I lead Anonymous, mang! I Anonymous but I got a name, mang! We fahk pendejos up, mang. We got LOIC, mang. We TCP flood! I find XSS vuln'bility in comment field, I redirect traffic to lemonparty! Alert() popup tell tha story on Tunisian Ministry o' Camels site, "hacked by XxAnonymousxX", mang! I break shit. I fahk shit up, mang. I set fire to tha internets, mang. I take credit card number, mang. I buy myself a lot of fahkin hair product and pair black Tony Lama boots, mang. They fahkin nice boots, mang. My team take no prisoner, mang! They trust Sabu, mang. They know I keep my fahkin word, mang. A mang's got two thing in life, mang. His word, and his balls. I keep both, mang.
I don' need say no more, mang. Djou know my successes, mang. Tunisia, Egypt, HBGary, Libya, Yemen, Fox News, Syria. Sony. PBS. Tha Arab Spring, mang. Tha Barrevolucion, mang. It all in tha news, mang. Ladies talk to me on twitter all tha time, mang. It tha big leagues, mang! Hipster lady want to make love to Sabu, mang! Nobody code so smooth and sexy like me. Lemme askoo sa'th'n, mang. Djou got ladies chat djou up on twitter? Don't think so, eh, maricon? But I promise, I take only one, maybe two muchachas por semana, mang. I let other guys have fun too, mang. Assange, he too fahkin greedy, mang. Fack hi'! Me, I good fahkin revolucionario. All for one and one for all, mang!
I tell djou wha we need to do, mang. We need to fahkin liberate tha fahkin people, mang. No more fahkin Washington Consensus, mang. Fahkin gringos colonizin' tha world, mang. We need to fahkin rage agains' tha machine, mang, sideline tha old media, mang, renege on tha debt, mang, stand up for campesinos in Bahrain an' Buffalo an' Buenos Aires mang, start tha fire o' revolucion on every chat channel, topple tha toady regime, mang, an' get tha pussy, mang! We gotta tell Obama, hey man, chupame la polla, djou cockaroach! Tell tha mathufakhin CIA, hey, look mang, djou wan' djour fahkin oil, mang? Djou wan' tha internet back? Fack djou, mang! Djou think djou big time? I Sabu! Djou wanna fack wi' me, mang?! Come an' get djour fahkin internet, mang! I no' scared a djou, mang! Djou shoulda thought 'bout dat, mang, when djou made celebrity o' that purse-snatchin', chain-whippin' maricon, Assange. Now la revolución, it cannot be stopped, mang! Entiende, cabrón?
El Diablo Blanco
I always remember that day, mang. Siete de Junio, 2011. A day that will live in infamy, mang. Tha sky above NY was tha color o' television, tuned to a dead channel. All day I wagin' guerra da liberación on twitter, mang. You see a lotta revolucionarios in your day, mang, I see you a mang o' tha world, but you shoulda seen me, mang. I tweet fahk'n circle 'round da malacas a' da Estados Unidos, mang. I shake da ass de la code like I da fahkin matador del' fahk'n SQL, mang! My homies DDOS left, mang, they DDOS right! Gaddafi, mang! Murdoch, mang! CIA, mang! Ai-yai-yai! An' Sabu tha brains, mang. I got da rhythm, da albongidas, mang! Dios mio, I a smart ma'herfack'r when it come to hack'n, mang. Tha best hacker a' Nuevo York, I tell for true. But pride come before tha fall, mang.
I switch off my Mac. I so tired. I travajo como un perro, mang. For all our tomorrows, mang. I come out a' bedroom, I notice my wife. She look upset, mang. She say some pendejo call while I busy savin' tha world, mang. He know my name, mang, he know my number. Tha's some freaky shi', mang. But I no fahkin scare, mang. I say, this bitch, he either fahkin Mubarak loyalis', cuz I break his system, mang, when I start tha Arab Spring, mang, or he work for tha fahkin Tunisians, mang. I no scare o' them, mang. You shoul' tell thi' perro to chinga su madre, mang. He a fahkin terrorist, mang! I get big strike team, zero day his culo, mang!
Then she say, no mang, is worse than Mubarak. She cry, djou know, mang? I get tha fear then, mang. What tha worst phone call a revolucionario Latino could get, mang? Sum of all fears, mang? So I ask. Is... be strong, mang. Oye, is LA MIGRA, mang? Tell me straight up, mang. But she say no, is los Federales. An' I say, Oh.
Next day, tha Mang come visit. Sit in my chair, sip my mocha. Like old friends, mang. He fahkin okay guy for a guero, djou know? We have a long talk. Civil conversación. He know everythin', mang. Then he make me an offer I cannot refuse, mang. Then I know wha I gotta do, mang. I stand tall. An' I accept, mang! I say, what I gotta do, rat some fahkin cyber-terroristas out? Here tha names, mang! I got logs, mang! Go knock y'self out, mang. I no afraid, mang. I love Uncle Sam, mang! Gimme a fahkin deal wi' DA, mang, and maybe cinco gramos de llello, mang, I name all fahkin names right on fahkin Sunday mornin' news program, mang! Let's roll, mang!
Los Federales, they what I call stand up guy, mang. No bullshit. They talk like I code, mang. People fahkin afraid of los Federales, mang. But Sabu, he not afraid. So if the Mang say to Sabu, por ejemplo: okay, fatso! You wanna stay outta prison? Let's see how tough you are. Djou know something 'bout a DDOS, fat guy? That actually happen, mang. And Sabu, he not afraid at all. So the Mang say, djou know how to use a SQL injection?
I know how to use a fahk'n SQL, mang. I ain't fahkin scared.
So then los Federales say, Okay, I have a job for you then tough guy. A bunch of kiddie maricons, mang, djour amigos, mang, they embarrass us, stain our credibilidad, make Uncle Sam look like a prick. An' we invent tha Internet, mang! This will not stand, mang. So here's the deal, mang. Djou organise honey trap attack, mang. Djou sell these kids down tha river, mang, get them to log onto FBI servers, bring back names, bring back IPs, djou get a fahkin deal. We all sign settlement, no RICO charge, get probation time, djou a patriot like fahkin Adrian Lamo, got publicity, Nuevo York Times suck our dick mang, we friends, get a ki o' llello, have good times. And gordito, anythin' go wrong, y pobrecito! The DA send you to prison for six hunner year! Djou think you can handle it, tough guy?
I take the fahkin job. I no afraid of fahk'n risk. You need a fahk'n risk if you want a fahkin better world - like I say, mang, as a revolucionario and a mang of integrity, either djou have a fahkin liberty to rat out djour compadres and send them to prison, or djou live in a fahkin dictatorship. I no wanna live in a fahkin dictatorship, mang, oppress' by corporate interes' an' fascist conspiracy internacional. No way, mang. So I not afraid to fahk'n rat out and send to prison ev'ry single last one o' djou cockaroaches. Jus' like Che Guevara an' our Founding fahkin Fathers intended, mang.
Solo Dios Me Puede Jugar
This is my story, mang. Tried best I could, mang. Okay, maybe I not a nice fahkin guy. So fahk'n what, mang! Djou think djou better than Sabu, mang? Lemme tell djou somethin', mang: djou need people like Sabu, so djou can stop jerkin' to Naruto an' point djour fahk'n finger at thees fat fahkin Latino who dreamed big, mang, and say, look at thees fat fahkin sneetch, mang. Thees Sabu, he the fahkin bad guy, mang. So what, that make djou good, mang? Sabu don't care bout no fahk'n finger, mang. I got kids, mang. Hierarchy o' love, mang. An' tha oppressed masses, they understan'. They been there, mang. Alone, we weak. Together, we strong. A new Sabu will be born, mang. Siempre.
Djou got somethin' to say, mang?
I bet djou any amount a fahkin Argentinia' peso djou got nothin' to say to me, mang. Djou a big pussy, mang. Djou know I right, mang. But if djou want to talk, mang, come say eet to my face, maricon! Ees my address in East Harlem, mang. Knock twice, mang! Don't send pizza. I got to keep my looks, mang. ¡Hasta luego, coño!
Hector Xavier Monsegur
90 Paladino Ave
New York, NY 10035
Voter ID: 305168466
DOB: October 13th 1983
Galerias de Fotos
- FBI - my employer
- Hacker - is me, mang
- LulzSec - my compañeros
- AnonOps - is our old crib, mang
- HBGary - I a ten, djou a fahkin zero!
- Skiddies - is ver' unkind o' djou, mang
- Paul Fetch - don' know thees maricon
- th3j35t3r - me cago on thees pato cripple, mang
is part of a series on
"Leaders" of Anonymous
Sabu/Sabuspeak is part of a series on Security Faggots
2cash • AnonOps • Brian Salcedo • Fearnor • Fry Guy • Gadi Evron • g00ns • Hack This Site • Hacking Team • hann • Joanna Rutkowska • John Field • Joseph Camp • Lizard Squad • LulzSec • Mark Zuckerberg • MarshviperX • Masters of Deception • Michael Lynn • Krashed • Raven • r000t • Ryan • Steve Gibson • th3j35t3r • The Regime • Sabu • Zeekill
Avira • Ciscogate • Cloudflare • Conficker • CyberDefender • Defcon • The Gibson • The Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007 • Heartbleed • I GOT NORTON! • Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? • Operation Sundevil • PIFTS.exe • Social engineering • Stylometry • SubSeven • Zone-H
|Sabu/Sabuspeak is part of a series on Internet Humanitarianism|
[Click to Expand]
Sabu/Sabuspeak is part of a series on
Visit the Anonymous Portal for complete coverage.
|Featured article March 08 and 09, 2012|