Sagamihara Stabbings

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Just 3 days after the Munich Massacre that killed 9 turkroaches, Japan has one-upped Deutschland by scoring twice as many frags in their own attempt at the high score - all while using just a knife. This impressive score for a knife-only round was pulled off by Satoshi Uematsu, a 26 year old man, and a former employee of the disabled care home that was targeted. His motivation is reported to be an attempt to clear out the genepool by removing Retards and the Disabled from the world. This massacre has shocked Japan, but will likely be ignored by the rest of the world, as rampage killings are a daily occurrence now.

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Satoshi Uematsu
Nationality: Japan  MiniflagJapan.png
Highscore Killed 19, injured 26
Top 25? 1st Place
2nd: Mamoru Takuma
3rd: Zheng Minsheng
Style Hack'N'Slash
An Hero? No


Employee Appraisal

Graded Score
Kill Count:
Accuracy:
Style:
Butthurt:
Bonus:
19/20
8/20
18/20
20/20
20/20
Almost there!
Killed 19, injured 26. Not bad considering the weapon.
Murdered retards in their sleep.
Feels no remorse, many lulz.
Doing God's work.
Total Score: 85/100 (B)
Master Eugenecist; Japan's Angel of Death. Darwin would be proud.
See full ranking


Wanted Level
Wantedstar.pngWantedstar.png
Wanted2police.png
Police Force


Round 2

A few months after this attack, a Chinese man named Yang Qingpei proceeded to carry out a stabbing rampage. He scored 19 frags like Satoshi did, but left no survivors in the process. He killed Mom and Dad over some bullshit argument, yet had the great idea that he needed to kill 17 other people in order to cover up his crime. He was playing Hitman IRL and was too much of a clutz to use proper stealth, giving him the ranking of Mass Murderer. He will not be unlocking a silenced M4A41-s for this.


See Also


External Links


Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan Klebold Sam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on 日本国


Typical Japanese people. 日本人
Hard GayOtoya YamaguchiMutsuo Toi Satoshi Uematsu

Typical Japanese Culture. 日本の人文
Big DaikonAnimeManga2chanHerbivore MenJapanese Bug FightsShimajiroAnimu ArchetypesDating sim

Typical Japanese Porn. 日本の猥本
BukkakeHarem ComedyHentaiGuroPantyshotShotaconLoliconYaoiYuri

HighScoreLeft.png
Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on High score pokemon.png
Are You Ready?[Game OverInsert Coin]Go!
HighScoreRight.png
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid GrayDavid KatzDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo SaipovSaint Petersburg Metro bombingSeth AtorThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka Easter BombingsTimothy McVeigh

Civilization and Great Prophets

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison