SangheiliArtist

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Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.



PAGE IS CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION TO PROVIDE MORE LULZ!! FEEL FREE TO CONTRIBUTE!

This piece of shit won first place.
File:WHOREWHOREWHOREWHORE.png
What we think of SA


SangheiliArtist, aka SEIGHEILiArtist aka AnzeNilut, aka AssNuts, is an attention whore, a furfag, and a drama queen, who will do anything to get attention and pageviews, even if it means posting a journal about killing himself. His favorite pasttimes are bitching, fapping to Elites and dragons that he dreams about raping every night, blocking people on DevianTART who call him out for being a drama whore, and talking to pedophiles over Xbox Live. He does not give a shit about his watchers on deviantTART, and likes getting his e-cock sucked, if you get a watch from him, he does not give a shit about your art, he's doing it for the pageviews and will go watch another random deviant to make his cock harder. Not to mention his amazing art wins every contest because he sends his white knights out to rig the votes for him to win.

File:Picture23j.jpg
His 23 year old pedophile boyfriend.
File:SARlpicture.jpg
Real life picture of SangheiliArtist









Quotes

   
 
[18:31] *****: Did you really try?

[18:31] an?é ? 'N¡lút: semi
[18:31] an?é ? 'N¡lút: I held a knife before
[15:33] *****: LMAO
[18:31] an?é ? 'N¡lút: barely cut my throat
[18:31] an?é ? 'N¡lút: practically no bleeding
[18:31] *****: What's barely?
[18:31] an?é ? 'N¡lút: but an annoying skin peel

 


 
 

— SA: Too much of a pussy to actually do it.

   
 
That's it! I've had it with you! Get your goddamned boyfriend to start driving here and kill me until the world explodes in dynamite! I'm sick of you! SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!!!!! YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
 

 
 

SangheiliArtist on making sense

   
 
8:05:24 PM Ryan http://gamersdigart.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/second-contest-results/

8:05:26 PM Ryan *****, think you can get a few more people going?
8:05:31 PM Ryan or at least, try really close friends of mine?
(the next day)
3:06:08 PM Ryan http://gamersdigart.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/second-contest-results/ can you please bring some more friends to comment for my artwork? (SangheiliArtist's)

 


 
 

— proof he cheats

   
 
an?é ? 'N¡lút -http://protodevilin.deviantart.com/journal/24318716/#comments

-go ahead an vote for my ninja please :-)
-do you have any other dA accounts that you can make and keep?
-like, make a long list of username, password, and email on paper, then access all of them at a time to vote for anything -I have like 25 accounts in total, if I can remember
-Not only can you get others to vote (which is your friends), but you can go to "random deviant" and then note them to vote for entry #8 for the final atomic ninja contest. I have the link if you want to copy and paste. Do it for at least an hour with over 50 people noted, lol.
-you can copy and paste that to your notes and IMs.
-muahahahahaha
-18 ddeviants said Shizuko from SangheiliArtist!
-hopefully you can try to get at least 30 people to vote for my Ninja. :3
-muahahaha I'm gonna message over 100 people
-I sent like 45 people notes
-yay, 25 votes so far
(the next day)
-I'm still winning the Ninja contest! :D
-I hope you can gather more people to vote for my ninja :-)
-(Until April 23)
(another day later)
-there's an emergency!
-in protodevilin's contest, I'm not winning
-get at least 8 people to vote for my ninja! XD
-I'll make 15 accounts while I'm at it!
(then he notices his cheating isn't working)
-this is wrong?
-They're suposed to vote for Entry 8: Shizuko!
-for god's sakes!
-they should read better!
-message then that it's Entry 8, and that it's Shizuko!
-NOT ryukage
-it's 49:40 right now! uuuugh!
-ugh...
-DEVIANTART IS BEING AN ASS!
-IT WON'T LET ME POST ANY FUCKING MESSAGES CORRECTLY!
-51:42 right now
-it's slowly increasing
-goddammit DeviantART!
-SEND ME THE DAMN MESSAGES OR I WILL SEND YOU TO THE SUN!
-PLEASE
-send a copy and paste message to 150 deviants from the random deviant section
-yes, 150+ deviants
-do your best! And keep going until you see me winning by 10 points ahead! :D
-do your best to keep on messaging people! including your friends! The votes is 58:44!
(things still aren't going well for him)
-ugh...
-I'm going to create accounts somewhat frequently and find a way to cast more votes on my thing
-do this: Make multiple gmail or hotmail accounts and list them down on paper with the passwords for them, and then make accounts on deviantART for each of them.
-For example. You make 15 hotmail accounts, and then make 45 deviantART accounts.
-Each email account can hold up to 3 deviantART accounts
-that way, in 3 hours, we can get enough votes for me to win
-that's what I'm trying to do
-try to do the same if you can
-but after this contest is over, ONLY access your many many many other accounts for voting purposes.
-please, and thank you :D
(one hour later)
-it's hopeless
-how can I surpass 75 votes on that damned user?
-(73, to be exact)
-maybe we need another plan
-perhaps, you can specify that it's number 8, Shizuko, and that you shouldn't let others follow everyone else on InzunaRyu's ninja. Shizuko is the one with the lake background, if you can tell them.
-OR!
-you can send a note to the most popular and most active deviants on deviantART to tell them to put up a journal feature to vote for Shizuko and display the deviation.
-it's a crazy idea
-but it just might work

 


 
 

— he didn't win, goes to show that cheaters don't prosper.

   
 
Anze 'Nilut -LOL I'm abusing the random deviant and watch deviant button!!!!

-if I get banned from dA regardless for this, I might laugh
-besides, if I do get banned, I can go somewhere else to show ALLLLLLL my arts and files
-I don't want to get banned but if I do, I won't care
-I'll be spread everywhere on the internet
-and I don't think DDoS can stop me when I can access it on schools and libraries still.
-From 8 PM to 10:29 PM EST, the pageviews counted up to 371
-400+ pageviews in 3 hours
-i wish you could access my accounts and hide those comments for me while im not around. and then watch moar ppl! xD

 


 
 

— he does it for the pageviews

   
 
I am Anze Nilut. Former spec-ops commander of the Covenant, but is now a de facto leader of the Underground Rogue Force(s) and a sangheilian artist for gaming, original visuals, and other activities. My email is [email protected] Also, my current and primary profile in deviantART is [1]. Never try to confront me or my dignity, for I can corrupt everyones' software and future hardwares, so fear me. Long live all Sangheili and the military forces! Go URF!!
 

 
 

   
 
Bio 1: I am Anze 'Nilut, a Recon Operations Sangheili Soldier, part of the UNSC Army. I love to create, paint, write, and battle. I respect the Elites of my kind, and there is no change to that particular aspect. Bio 2: I am Azure, an ironically purple but joyful dragon who can control lightning and utilize high movement speeds. I am who I am, born in the shores of Hourkaidah, and living for now as a memorable being. Btw I support M/M!
 

 
 

   
 
[20:29] AnzeNilut: I'm going to go emo again once the school year ends. I just hope that doesn't happen, because my GPA is doomed to drop below my expectations.
 

 
 

   
 
Ryan says: I don't know what to do anymore

I may never cheer up again.
on top of that, I don't care for my own health. To say the least, I want to do SO much to help everyone to be successful as well for myself.
I mean, I'd probably just be a ghost already.
I don't even know what my own clan means to me anymore.
But I'm still under a heavy burden of wanting to become successful.
my life is wasted anyways...even at 15 years
it's so painful...
I hate myself
I lost friends
I blame myself
and I want to die after I become a success
don't grieve for me
I should apologize to everyone I know then...
and perhaps work my ass off without having a social life, so I can stop waiting for eternity to get all my goals done I have no more opportunities...
I want to work myself until I breathe my very last breath

 


 
 

— B'aww

   
 
Ryan says: should I lose a social life for the sake of personal and public priorities?
 

 
 

   
 
8:26:55 PMAnze 'Nilut did you know that drawing anime or some sort of fanart based on the most popular franchises can bring very high popularity towards a deviant?

8:27:05 PM Anze 'Nilut it's sad I know, but that's the truth about how things happen in deviantART
8:27:25 PM ***** I know
8:27:27 PM ***** I hate DA for that
8:27:33 PM Anze 'Nilut well I like bleach
8:27:42 PM Anze 'Nilut so I should've drawn it since 2004/5

 


 
 

   
 
2:28:49 PM Anze 'Nilut I might stay depressed and anti-social, overly busy over the summer

2:28:58 PM Anze 'Nilut my grandma's finally dying
2:29:02 PM ***** D:
2:29:06 PM ***** I'm sorry..
2:31:49 PM Anze 'Nilut it's honestly okay
2:31:49 PM Anze 'Nilut not everyone cares anyway

 


 
 

— his grandmother must be rolling in her grave.

   
 
4:20:15 PM Anze 'Nilut so you know what?

4:20:45 PM Anze 'Nilut I will make a dreadfully long journal entry of rants, problems, and threats of everything that comes to mind
4:20:56 PM Anze 'Nilut I'm sure most may no be able to finish reading it

 


 
 

   
 
Anze 'Nilut *sigh* my head is bleeding, but worry not
 

 
 

   
 
12:16:02 AM Anze 'Nilut well my relationship with Anre...is getting more complicated

12:16:35 AM Anze 'Nilut I want to make him more happy even though I did make him happier than ever. After all, we we're meant to be, but he also loves Erro, and in fact, I don't want to pressure any of those two.
12:20:11 AM Anon hmm *scratches head*
12:20:40 AM Anon ....uhh.....honestly I'm clueless about these kind of things...I've been alone all my life really... 12:20:48 AM Anze 'Nilut you are luckyt
12:21:15 AM Anze 'Nilut lucky* not having to worry about all this role-play sex thing, the real life sexes, the love affairs, orientations, etc.
12:21:37 AM Anze 'Nilut I'd prefer myself to be single too...if it weren't for my love for elite.
12:21:39 AM Anze 'Nilut elites*

 


 
 

   
 
3:38:42 PM Bro I piss the goddamn fucking shit outta others if they insult me, dislike me, or even betray me
 

 
 

— lolwut

   
 
Anon: Ryan hi *****. I remember **** saying "DID YOU GET TO BUY SOME DILDOS?!!?!" AND YES! SHE LITERALLY SAID IT ALMOST LIKE THAT! XD

Anon: lolwut?
Anon*: rofls
Anon*: me and ***** convinced him that dildos were candy that you could buy at Wal-Mart
Anon: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHHAAAA
Anon*: no joke xD
Anon: oh my GOD that's funny XD
Anon*: we told him to ask his mom about it

 


 
 

Use scrollbar to see the full text

[23:17] *******: Have you had your period yet?

[23:18] SangheiliStud: PERIOD?! LOL I'm a male elite for Sanghelios's sakes? Why? XD You've never mentioned
that to me or anyone else, so it's bathroom privacy, as everyone should know.
[23:19] *******: Um, dude, guys eventually get periods, too. xD
[23:19] *******: Just a little later than girls.
[23:19] SangheiliStud: What kind??
[23:19] SangheiliStud: Bloody periods, acid diharrea, or what??
[23:20] *******: Bloody
[23:20] *******: Via penis.
[23:20] SangheiliStud: woah woah woah
[23:20] SangheiliStud: you're kidding
[23:20] *******: ...
[23:20] SangheiliStud: I've never heard something like that in my entire life, and I'm a knowledable persion.
[23:20] *******: You seriously didn't know this? [23:20] SangheiliStud: no
[23:21] SangheiliStud: My dick would explode based from what I'm thinkig.
[23:21] *******: Wow.
[23:21] SangheiliStud: And that's extremely dangerous.
[23:21] SangheiliStud: Female periods are easier to notice
[23:21] *******: It's natural!
[23:21] *******: Not dangerous. :P
[23:21] SangheiliStud: I don't remember make periods, unless it describes a tiny sting in my pisshole, because of a tear line or something like that.
[23:21] SangheiliStud: How exactly does it work?
[23:22] *******: Okay:
[23:22] SangheiliStud: xDDDD
[23:22] SangheiliStud: Hahasaucee is online.
[23:23] *******: Before getting it, your penis will start to get sore and stuff.
[23:23] SangheiliStud: oh
[23:23] SangheiliStud: the bloods will be affected differently on the inside?
[23:23] SangheiliStud: I thought I would "bleed", and that would show a very terrible sign.
[23:24] SangheiliStud: I'm sure it's not much difference of hair itches and pulsing erotica!
[23:25] *******: Okay:
[23:25] SangheiliStud: So if I've felt these multiple times, then it should occur already, or at least a year later. If it feels very different from stretched horniness or hairy crotches, then I'll notice it's safe stage of growing up.
[23:26] *******: Exactly!
[23:26] *******: It'll eventually start happening like once a month-ish.
[23:27] SangheiliStud: oh
[23:27] SangheiliStud: XD
[23:27] SangheiliStud: then there's "wet-dream", which some semen waste will have to come out as you sleep.
[23:28] SangheiliStud: I'm not sure how fast that kind of ejaculation dries up, but it depends when it occurs, and when you wake up, so watchout for those kind of syncronizations if you can notice the pulse from your cock.
[23:28] SangheiliStud: LOL
[23:28] SangheiliStud: Where the fuck did you get this?
[23:28] SangheiliStud: Health?
[23:29] *******: WHat do you mean? It's been happening forever.
[23:29] *******: It's a natural part of growing up.
[23:29] *******: Btw, it's almost like that, but it'll eventually have traces of blood in it.
[23:31] SangheiliStud: oh<br. [23:31] SangheiliStud: you obviously learned it in various places of the world
[23:31] SangheiliStud: don't be specific, lol. I know what it's like to learn generally in life, rather than stress yourself out to learn and achieve in school.
[23:32] SangheiliStud: XD
[23:32] SangheiliStud: Thanks for mentioning it.
[23:32] *******: Np
[23:32] SangheiliStud: It was unusual though.
[23:32] *******: Just don't be afraid if it happens. It's natural. :)
[23:32] SangheiliStud: But I wouldn't realized it if I noticed the difference.
[23:32] SangheiliStud: How about become horny?! LOL!
[23:33] SangheiliStud: Rawr!
[23:33] *******: Rawr.
[23:33] *******: Buuut
[23:33] *******: I forgot to mention
[23:33] *******: Masturbating will make it worse.
[23:33] SangheiliStud: for what exact reason?
[23:34] SangheiliStud: you mean before or during the periods?
[23:34] *******: During.
[23:34] *******: Makes it more tender...masterbating is not natural...
[23:35] SangheiliStud: I've heard such tragedies called "exploding penis", and I'm not sure how it all works with the cause and effects, but I'm sure that it's set apart from what we're talking about.
[23:35] SangheiliStud: Yeah....I don't want to get cuts or injuries from my cock. After all, this states jacking off is a sin.
[23:35] *******: Yeah, don't do that.
[23:35] *******: Heh.
[23:35] SangheiliStud: hmmm
[23:35] SangheiliStud: What about getting all erotic repeatedly, without fapping?
[23:36] *******: That's fine.
[23:36] *******: :)
[23:36] SangheiliStud: Hormones take effect on all regions of your body at certain times BTW.
[23:36] SangheiliStud: LOL!
[23:36] SangheiliStud: Desperation for sex, eh??? ^+^
[23:39] *******: Wait...
[23:40] *******: What do you mean, desperation for sex?
[23:41] SangheiliStud: LOL
[23:41] SangheiliStud: it was a joke
[23:41] SangheiliStud: I'm probably gonna make my other fanfictions violent as hell!!!
[23:41] *******: Oh, LOL.

Gallery

He ttly doesn't trace anything, he is SOOOOO original! ^+^

Gallery of his Faggotry

currently screenscapping

His Notes and Messages

SangheiliArtist has a particularly unique style of answering the challenge of communicating online. This normally involves some combination of the following:

1) Chronic TL;DR. No seriously, 1500 words is an essay not a note.

2) Using big words that he doesn't understand in order to appear smarter than he is. His present record is thirteen adjectives in a row.

3) Using translator tools to translate everything he says into twenty Asian languages. The reason for this is unknown, it could be a sub-category of number 2), or it could just be that he's a bigger Weeaboo than anyone realised.

The following were sent to his personal army (Massive textwall alert):

Emergency Art Notice

his pathetic attempt of getting free art from popular DA artists


--PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS NOTE RIGHT AWAY AFTER YOU READ THIS. NOTE THAT THIS ONLY APPLIES BETWEEN 08/28/2009 to 08/31/2009. AFTER MONDAY, YOU CAN THROW AWAY THIS NOTE--

Hello. I have a vital emergency art request for you, though it is 5 artworks long. While I'm under very intense pressure with schooland under a brutal panic with finishing other artworks, I thought it would be nice for you to make an artwork with everyone else in order to get the job done much faster. Unfortuately, it's -like I said- 5 artworks long (like a comic strip, only done in digital art, and it has to be in one picture as it looks highly realistic) and I'm estimating around 125 hours in total. Divide that by 5 and it will be 25 hours elapsed within each of the five artworks. However, the hours spent doesn't matter; it's the effort, carefulness, and quality that counts, and the reason why I'm asking you and the others this, is because there is a friend of mine who desperately wants his artwork, done, for his friend to be given to. Therefore, he will try to kill me as a lethal threat (and yes, he's 16, but he definitely knows how to wield weapons, along with the fact that he has an enourmous mafia that he is part of) if I don't get the artwork done. This is why I asked all of you, as kindly as possible, if you could PLEASE work together, as well as I can, to finish the artworks appropriately. From Friday night EST to early Monday, it shall be done and finished by Monday afternoon EST, when I get home from school, so I can final-touch it, and then submit it to my profile as you will have the permitted option to submit it to your profile.

Here's the deal: If you make the artwork, I shall create over 50 artworks all by myself in under three months, even with the school work that will oversize my load, and then have EACH of you submit the given and appropriate artwork instead of me, and take most the credit from me (yet at least mention me as I did the artwork, and that you deserve credit), so that I will finish my oaths and deals with everyone inlcuding you. Please have this artwork done in at least a couple of days, but with the help of many other people that I have mentioned in this note. Thank you very much for reading this, and I hope you don't mind doing this for me and the others. It was very vital, so I had to send this note to everyone else including you. Again, thank you, and I will work myself as hard as I can in debt to pay all of you back by artwork demands.

If you don't understand this note, basically, what I'm trying to say is: I will begin the artwork by sketching it out and scanning it, so all of you people can contact eachother from deviantART and other places, and work together to get the artwork done as carefully, and diligently, but as swiftly as possible, and then once there is a file that contains the completeted collaboration, it must be emailed, file-transfered, or download-linked to me, so I can take it, finalize it, have all of you people submit it when I send another note to all of you, containing the completed file, and you and I will submit it myself and give credit to ALL OF YOU, along with you people giving credit to eachother for the works all of you have done. After that, I'll take a promise to create as many requested artworks as possible within a short amount of time, both with high quantity, and high quality, and then you can submit your requested artwork that I've done, and take most credit to yourself, yet you still have to at least mention me for what I started and completed upon that requested artwork of yours. As far as the others go, they will get THEIR requested artwork and do the same: Take credit, and give mention to me, as if it were a "Thank you" factor. Thank you for reading this as well.

Here are the people you need to collaborate with, and please somehow work together correctly (too hard to explain):

***Names removed to protect artists from his faggotry***

So, please help me...my life is under potential threat for myself and this person. And please do NOT mention anything about the critical situation about my life in danger and that person who demands the artwork for me. Again, thank you.

Here's the description for how to make the artwork: *Samurai Soldier/Sangheili Showdown - Human=Katana, Elite=Energy Sword on right hand. Place=In snowy field in front of forerunner technology and UNSC base. Sequence: Marines fighting Unggoy or something like that would be nice in background. Soldier cuts Sangheili Ultra's right hand. PICTURE 1 = Ready to fight, PICTURE 2 = Swords Drawn, PICTURE 3 = Fighting!, PICTURE 4 = Cut off hand, PICTURE 5 = Retreat.

Here are some references for an ODST: http://squiddy3000.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/odst2.jpg http://alese.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/odst-patrol.jpg http://winbreak.com/newspix/Halo3_ODST.jpg

Here are some references for a background: http://www.teamteabag.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/e7d160b6.jpg http://www.mrsdoublefire.com/images/halo3/halo_uvs.jpg

Here are some references for an Elite (only everyone has to paint the elite in white armor, and have only one arm, which is the right arm): http://images.wikia.com/halo/images/3/3a/1210385769_34297114-Medium.jpg http://www.cloudcity.com/store/ImagePath.axd?Path=images/products/more/halo/Halo_series3carded_elitecombat.jpg&NoImageAvailable=1 http://media.photobucket.com/image/halo%20elite/CyrusTheVirus9/Halo/ElementalElite.jpg?o=49 http://media.photobucket.com/image/halo%20elite/Exmortis7/Halo3Elites.jpg?o=53

References of Grunts adn Hunters for the background (include marine soldiers and Halo vehicles/flying vehicles in battle too): http://images.wikia.com/halo/images/7/78/Grunt.jpg http://images.wikia.com/halo/images/6/68/BlackNeedlerGrunt3.jpg http://suelineruff.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/halo-3-hunter-lekgolo-enemy-combatant-1263.jpg http://media.photobucket.com/image/halo%20hunter/AusQB/Panoramas/HunterPanorama.jpg http://cookga.net/Halo/images/pelican.jpg http://www.halowars.com/images/HW_1024x768_6.jpg http://ui32.gamefaqs.com/1535/gfs_63166_2_16.jpg http://halo3blogs.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/warthogb1107071.jpg http://www.xboxer.tv/warthog_psd_jpgcopy2.jpg

Thank you.

~'Nilut

The Greatest Note of All Time

TL;DR


Before you read the long, lengthy, and legible message of apology and redemption, make sure you have at least 15 minutes or so to read this whole thing. Please don't let this message hinder you too much in any way, shape, type, method, or form. It's...a personal note. --- Please read this message to your heart's content: I am 'Nilut. I am not here to harm you or anyone else in any other possible way. Please understand that you shouldn't talk bad to someone behind their backs, for you will be someway, sometime, and somehow repelled back to what you have done. Either way, I am very sorry for the things I have done and said...I'm sure every single person out there is out to get me and have me dead, involving for those people I've known and you've also known.

If you want to know, I have been having trouble with some of my greatest friends that I know. People back then, were mistreating me to the point of misery. As a matter of fact, it makes me think that I want them dead for all eternity in hell, but it's not what it seems to be. In order to understand this, it's just a matter of time before we pass on and forget about what has been corrupted and past its doom for the time.

Just to be aware of what you're reading, this is not a suicide note, a threat, or even a text of literal danger and despair, but rather, nothing more than an apology for all that has been lost. I assure you; you mustn't lie, respond to a negative enforcement, or even perhaps attempt a death threat to anyone that you have hated and no longer accepted. As far as I can see, many people see me as overly different, annoying, presumptuous, stupid, unhappy, or even perhaps evil. However, hoping that none of it is true, I am not willing to associate with anyone who is truly cruel even after I can help them, for the rest of my life. I'll do what I can, but I'm not a superman.

Aside from the fact that I have never been this corrupted before, you must understand that having for you to become like everyone else that wants me dead, tortured, left alone, lost, or even sent away, those of such cursed minds shall not associate with the people who are only misunderstood, for it is unfair to discriminate against people who have issues and whatnot. However, that is not the case...the purpose of what you're reading is to let you understand that I am not wanting destruction to everyone that I have used to despise. From what I can see, I've had issues with other people, and I would want those long lost friendships back before it finally becomes destroyed to the rest of the time.

The last thing I want to say is that I'm probably the worst, most misunderstood, overly different, stupid, profound, dead-wanted, and impossible person you'll ever meet. But I wish not for that...I'm tired of people treating me to the point of misery, and alongside with that, I'm always blamed for such misfortunes. Therefore for the people that think I was harassing, they were the ones that harassed me as well, or probably are the only people who have harassed a person unawakened of an open friendship for life. I will not die until I achieve something. Even if my ideals are high for the sky, I never give in to the darkness applied to the world. Therefore, I never die with regrets...

If you haven't noticed, I still have that comment that I decided to post on your post-journal and then save, and it's attached in a file. Nevertheless, if you were having any quarrels or wonders about me at this state right now (not geographically speaking, but conditionally), I'm getting a bit better. I apologize for all my troubles against and with you, even with this mere email since it's probably going to cause you a whole lot of stress just even thinking about this email after you read it.

Listen: Since October until the final night of it, I've been having some highly enraging mental meltdowns throughout the occasions back then, and when I had a therapy talk with some of my friends on XBL, it seems they really did care and say that I was a good person. I'm not sure if you even want me to tell the whole story about how I lost another wave-after-wave and particular friends in general, or that one night in the last day of October where I completely broke down and went totally insane as I said very heart-shocking phrases and sentences, but as far as I can see, I'm also hoping you're still not against me.

From here and on out, I'm sorry. If it's not enough, then please tell me what I should do or say (and don't make it overly harsh or excessively punishing, because it will actually make things worse for that matter) in order to finalize this paranoia, uproar, and delusions of grandeur, and then to truly solve everything that is fixable, whether we'd end up as friends or not.

I have encouraged myself to write this, and if you want to know, I think you already hate whatever I draw or paint, or even take snapshots on from now on. If you really do think my art sucks, just like the rest of the 95-250+ people who already think of me negatively, please don't even say a word with my art. Critique it as much, as elaborate, leginimately, legibly, and as near-impossibly detailed as you like, but as far as I can take the advices from now on, I'll have to totally perfect my efforts to become a much better person and an artist/photographer/writer/etc. on such formations of matters.

I just hope that you understand how I feel about this long-term confusion and unhappiness, along with the final fact that you and I, should probably forgive eachother for anything wrong that's been done. Just to let you know, I actually am a semi-autistic person disgnosed with Aspergers, but when you have a high amount of spare time, be sure to read what Aspergers is really about, even though I'm actually a high-functioning type. Aside from this, you don't have to worry about any of my suffering, for my life is essentially pretty good. I just had a terrible month last month, which you and I know it was October 2009. I'm going back to the topic: I thank you if you have read this, word for word, and had a good understanding of it. Let me know if you need something from me, demand something from or against me, or want me dead as a request.

I tell you what: I have unblocked you from deviantART somewhat recently, and perhaps not much else. That's the only place that I've walled on you since then, and I hate to offend you, but what you have done to give up on me long ago was the worst you could do. You didn't seemed that harmed, were you? In fact, if you expect me in a pinnacle, over-the-top strict way to perfect my art as perfect as possible, then I don't know how I'm supposed to do that, even in a short amount of time. You want me to go with a yotta sheer effort, then fine. It's your choice to speak to me like that, but even if I can try and do listen, don't be pushing me too hard on anything like that, because even I am only human. I don't think I'll ever give up until I obtain the eternal self-satisfaction from people who guarantee my art to be rather flawless. I can't believe art had to be meant for this...but even though I know you only from deviantART, I just don't really have much thoughts to what we should talk about, since I want to talk to you at least rarely on MSN, AIM, or GoogleTalk, etc. chat-wise or post-wise. So who knows...maybe this doesn't always have to be about ourselves, personalities, drama, and who's art is better and whatnot. On top of that, it just so happens that I should do what I want, that's on the right direction of things. Perhaps you don't need to tell me what to do, now that I think about it, but over the internet, advices and words can do.

I tend to get rather ridiculous upon trying my best to write up something such as a post with true definition and a means to actually speak/communicate with what I have in mind. So the last thing I want to say is that I hope for you and me to redeem and improve ourselves as we try to get as much education as possible. I'm the one who needs to try and do things as hard, insane, and near-perfect as possible even for being such a "demon" to people and myself. Yes, I am against relationships and I don't believe in friendships entirely, along with the fact that I hate myself quite a bit, still. I should've been dead a long time ago, even ever since my mother was never, ever happy with her relationship and marriage with my father. During that month of October, even before you have openly discussed and posted a journal involving me, I almost got killed by her, then myself. No hospital though. The next catastrophe, even after sores and bleeding, came with depression, sickness, outbursts, arguments with waves of friends, then you finally made the problem even worse, but I still forgive you for resolving the situation. More to that, even though I'm sure you have been friends with quite some of the people I used to hate so much, the month was flowing terribly; missing school days due to headaches, flus, upset stomach, vomiting, and then not able to make-up work due to mental, emotional, social, and spiritual conditions, along with the fact that I finally broke down again on the weekend that the grades were finally due as being the end of the "quarter." I continued to lose more friends and become far less social, but once this happened on the last day, after missing so many contests, schoolwork, and other opportunities, I snapped to the point of no return or to the point of not stopping on my intensifying and nerve-wrecking + disturbing rage on that final night of October. I now have been through it, and I have not been proud of it, because it would be far too dangerous to even think proudly of anything good or bad that I have ever done in my entire life. I'll never regret, never be ashamed of, never be proud of, never love, or ever be absolutely satisfied with anything for the rest of my life from now on. Perhaps I shall keep things stable and positive as it is, even for someone who needs to be happy, regardless of the age I am in. With your analytically amazing skills in physics, math, and science, not to mention your art, it will be almost too hard to have myself get far in life. You are talented, but I wish to go as far as I can without limits, in order to help people after helping myself out. I've already planned out 8 different careers of my own for the rest of my whole entire life, util the age of 65, then do more art.

This is finally it; I've finally decided to finish this message, and end it all. Farewell or greetings, which ever choice you've decided to contemplate and reply to me back with. Thanks, sorry, and you're welcome in any case that I've done.

Is this what we have wished for?

Don't worry. We will understand each other someday.

For the life is succeeded into the distant future.

L i v e . . . w e l l . . . e t e r n a l l y . . .

~Nilut


Death Threat to TurVauk

Apparently his friend got sick and tired of his constant b'awwing. [2] and [3]

butthurt Nilut is butthurt


There is no one out there like you...you should know better than to mess with your old friends, for they will all deceive your careless disrespect and ignorant sadism. Your boyfriend is a murderer, and I can conceive that very mentally, if not spiritually or physically. Well you know what? You really need to kill yourself no matter what the circumstances is. I don't have any consent, care, or even condolences to you, your family, or even the death of your loved ones. I want you dead, and therefore, your existence is an abomination.

I know everything about you. There is no way out for you. We all want you dead, no matter who you are. This is only because of your sinful actions that will not be tolerable to this already-corrupted world that we live in. I will kill you if you don't kill yourself. Your damnable boyfriend should not even deserve to love you in any possible way. Davos, and your other friends, such as Nikki, Vix, and Reed, should also die early.

You will die! Who will see the light of day?? No one, no one at all. You want everyone to die? So you will suffer for eternity when the day of your life's fall occurs. From this day on, I bid you an eternal good-bye. Whom shall you take the masked man off of?

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