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Sargon of Akkad
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Sargon of Akkad
(otherwise known as Carl Benjamin) is a fat MRA alcoholic who loves to see women cry, probably why he is a notorious wife-beater, and doesn't give a shit if children get raped by sand niggers. Someone who was so egotistical that he named himself after someone who founded an entire fucking dynasty and empire, Carl has become the main figurehead with 250k+ subs in a 'New Wave' of parasitic YouTube Ranters who like to circlejerk each other off to videos that disagree with their ideological world view by splicing in their snarky 'rebuttals' bearing their severe autism over a microphone or camera, for their audience to groupthink themselves into self-delusion as 'intellectually superior'.
The ultimate case study has shown that the dumbest, most obese Americunts will believe anything you tell them, provided it comes from someone with an English accent (because dem limeys are smart people, y'all, Ah'll tell yer huhwut!), Sargon of Akkad records his TL;DW videos with a tinfoil hat on and does "research" by looking shit up on Google and Wikipedia (he gets paid to do it, by the way) and then coming to the conclusion that everything is part of a government, feminist conspiracy. Occasionally he invites feminists hoebags to his "show" and has his ass handed to him by them, because having an actual debate with a real life person is considerably harder than finding a YouTube video you disagree with, pausing said YouTube video and then talking down to it, as if you expect it to answer back; either that, or he engages in circlejerks with his e-celeb friends that can sometimes last up to six hours.
When he isn't making videos about how the social justice warriors is out to get him, he makes a weekly video where he reads internet articles and then yells at them. Seriously, about 90% of his videos are just him reading some boring news article or watching a video and basically going, "Pffft, well, THAT'S stupid." Sargon likes to cultivate an aura of being a learned renaissance man, expert in numerous topics from science to politics to history, but he is, in actual fact, a high school dropout who never attended college and has no formal qualifications. Most of his videos are riddled with inaccuracies, particularly his videos about history - a topic he seems to have learned about mainly through playing Medieval Total War and Warhammer. Since he has literally nothing better to do, Sargon has made YouTube his full time career, as well as he has made several YouTube videos about shit no one cares about, meaning that he is guaranteed to start showing up in your YouTube recommendations if you watch even a single one of his videos, no matter how many times you tell YouTube that you're not interested in his bullshit. Seriously, he will never go away. It's like a fucking plague of smug, self-proclaimed fedora tier "logic".
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Necromancer - His shit 'game'
When he isn't busy being a loser on YouTube, he actively begged for money on Kickstarter for his shitty game 
Necromancer. A game that will never actually be released as Carl and The Rejects already took the money and abandoned the project, much like the projects abandoned the virgins who gave them the money.
The trio of gay
The game looks like the original Diablo in the lowest resolution and runs at a staggering 11 frames per second. It is supposed to be some kind of multiplayer tower defense game, where you can compete against a total of one opponent. One would believe that the reason for this is that Carl doesn't have any friends except his mom, but in reality it is because of the Crysis 3-like graphics that no computer will be able to handle more than two characters.
Of course when called out on it, he claims that it's merely 'late' due to him getting ripped off by his Italian artist called 'Giuseppe'. It had to take two spaghetti-sperging GGRevolt members for him to finally even start showing video evidence of him developing the game.
Four Cunts: The Great Feminist Flame War of 2015
Carl's status as an Internet loser with a micropenis reached its lowest point when he 
debated a fat euphoric feminist neckbeard 
Kevin Logan. Kevin confronted Sargon by repeatedly asking him why he didn't publicly shit on the fraud Davis Aurini and instead promoted Aurini's channel and gushed like a fangirl being raped by her senpai about how awesome The Sarkeesian Effect was going to be. This had the intended result of his gullible 13 year old fanboys shilling out their mother's money to fund this.
Sargon, cowardly refused to acknowledge his error and doubled down with each pathetic attempt he made to rationalize it. Female MRA retard The Wooly Bumblebee, kicked out of A Voice For Men for nicking $5000, stated the obvious: Sargon is a conman, ideologue, and a hypocrite. Soon the 50 year old fat feminist hag Laughing Witch, who has been stalking Sargon for the past few months, mirrored Bumblebee's videos. Sargon made an ass out of himself yet again by claiming he didn't care if a man he supports is a pedophile. Thus his self-righteous crusade against evil feminazis and any credibility he had blew up in his face and will be preserved on the Internet until the end of time.
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Moar Shit With Laughing Witch: Sargon The Professional Victim
Being the professional victim that he is, Sargon immediately blamed the feminist illuminati and social justice warriors for "character assassination", completely unaware that he brought everything upon himself. Naturally he vented his rage on Wooly Bumblebee and Laughing Witch hoping to make them cry. As expected, it didn't work. Middle aged women have been bashed in the face for years by real men for not giving hubby a sammich. You think they're intimidated by some pudgy limey on the Internet?
Needless to say, the old feminazi hagbeast succeeded in ripping Sargon's balls off and wearing them as a voodoo necklace. Like any respectable JewTuber concerned about ethics, she doxed Sargon's Facebook on her channel to make a petty political point. In this case it was to show that Sargon is a fedora-tipping asshat with Down's Syndrome. This was a pretty retarded move on Laughing Witch's part since every sub-intelligent moron already knows this.
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The Great Debate
Despite everyone knowing better and figuring out his con game, Sargon kept pissing and moaning to anyone unfortunate enough to hear him. In the meantime, his 13-year-old boy goons demanded Laughing Witch debate Sargon, as if Sargon wasn't already proven to be a liar, fraud, and hypocrite. Laughing Witch accepted if only to shut up Sargon's retarded fanboys once and for all. Since Sargon is incapable of making a rational argument or have any meaningful conversation with another adult the "debate" will consist of him throwing a temper tantrum and whining what cunts feminists are, and generally be a waste of everyone's time.
The Truth
The truth has been spoken.
Possibly the whiniest, cringiest, most embarrassing video ever made by a grown man with a wife and kids. Sargon, pls go. |
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Related Articles
External Links
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Sargon_of_Akkad
- Sargon of Akkad
- Vae Victus - shitty gaming videos + his 'game' demos
- Ancient Recitations - Shills his audiobooks/history 'analysis'
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sargon - e-begging, gets £800+ per video
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sargon-of-akkad-1 - Audio-only versions of his videos as he likes making the blind suffer too
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+SargonofAkkad
- His website - It is shit.
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Sargon of Akkad is part of a series on Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article August 15th & 16th, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Joseph8276 | Sargon of Akkad | Succeeded by Telephone Ring Ring |
