Science Apologist

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ScienceApologist aka., Joshua Schroeder, aka QTxVi4bEMRbrNqOorWBV yup, he's still active on TOW is a PERMABANNED Wikipedia editor who used the online encyclopedia to advance his scientistic, religious views. Now, some of you may ask, what the FUCK is "scientism"? Look, everyone knows that science knows nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. So why do people like this asshole venerate it?

A weird story you heard from some friend of a friend about how he saw a ghost when he was drunk on home made wine is MUCH, MUCH more reliable than a stupid, bollocks, boring textbook on physics. Where do these dickless eggheads get their nerve? Have they ever been doing crystal meth in a fucking graveyard at night and saw a funny light? No! Have they ever heard a noise from the fridge that sounded like dead Uncle Ernie? No fucking way! They're too unimaginative! And that's the trouble.

A lot of this paranormal shit is peer fucking reviewed I'll have you know. That means it's just as good as Newton's Law. Or Einstein's theory of whatever. And what about that QUANTUM shit, huh? THAT proves there's some weirdness out there. For example, it's scientifically PROVEN that there's WHOLE fucking PLANETS controlled by dark, mysterious cosmic forces like dragons and unicorns from another dimension! (I know a guy who says so, and he's super smart and wouldn't lie) How DARE those dick-licking admins on Wikipedia doubt this? Don't they KNOW there's a world wide conspiracy to suppress this stuff????

OK where were we? ScienceApologist. Right! Well friends, this terrible, horrible man was eventually banned when his zealotry got the better of him. He pitched a fit and started issuing death threats to other users. Schroeder, who is a student at Columbia University (but often pretends he is a professor), likes to dress in Nazi uniform (see picture), and has campaigned, alongside his chum and fellow Nazi Orangemarlin for Josef Mengele to receive a posthumous Nobel Prize for medicine. In 2005 Schroeder was forced to leaving his teaching assistant post at Harald (sic) Washington College after he was found to have had several inappropriate relationships with young male students and their pets.

ScienceApologist cheerfully getting ready to edit UFO shit out of a Cosmology article. (Then perhaps jerk off)
Soccer fan Davkal jerking off at a World Cup match.

He is the creator of a bot called Davkal programmed to argue that penis dowsing, gay UFO's and Bigfoot's condom are proven to be real by peer reviewed scientific journals. He also created a sockpuppet called Martinphi programmed to argue that "you better fucking stop making fun of parapsychology, or else!" Both these fake accounts were created to stir up MOAR DRAMA and make it seem like there were horrible, terrible enemies who disagreed with ScienceApologist and his "Skeptical" views, which hold that people who see UFOs and other bizarre shit are shitheads, assholes and fucking loonytoons. (This is all in compliance with the Robertson Panel and Operation Mockingbird -- two of the many US government directives aimed at silencing THE TRUTH about such things!) about to orgasm from thinking how cool parapsychology is.]]

When asked about his mission, the spunky (and spunk filled) Schroeder was quoted as saying, "We don't need people putting anything in Wikipedia that says fucking GREEN ALIENS exist or fucking DEAD PEOPLE are making CELL PHONE CALLS to try and get a date with big-breasted 16 year old cheerleaders! My Davkal/Martinphi robot is the perfect tool to discourage that kind of shit."

ScienceApologist's evil bot also automatically removes annoying people from Wikipedia. It is programmed to vandalize Userpages and article Talk pages while pretending to be a sockpuppet of Davkal or Martinphi. Schroeder then goes to those pages and demands his Admin buddies block the botted sockpuppets. Then (sin of sins!) they block the poor, innocent, original annoying Wikipedia user's talk page so that the annoying user can't post the Admin's home phone number along with a crazy rant about how THE TRUTH is being suppressed and censored.

Hiding behind his ScienceApologist account, this coward Schroeder was bravely confronted by several heroic anonymous accounts (Right here I wanna take the opportunity to give a big shout out to all the paranormal crew on Wikipedia; Perfect Blue, "Neutral" Nealparr, Dreadlocke/Dreadstar, and Tom Butler! ) and many of these fearless crusaders went to WP:AN on Wikipedia to complain about about how unfair it is that no one believes they are psychic and that their pet poltergeists are real -- only to end up being disrespected!

Sock puppets (that just happened to agree with them) ended up being blocked and permabanned! Every one of the highly medicated Users who disagreed with this Dr. Frankenstein has gotten their Userpages splattered with a "This user is a Sockpuppet" template, permabanned, or their talk pages being locked down to "get these assholes OFF of Wikipedia" and to make a tragic example of those who defy the military-industrial complex's campaign to discredit pet psychics, UFO aromatherapy, exposes of New World Order treachery, alien anal probe research and other bizarre but absolutely true phenomena.

Joshua Schroeder about to swallow the cum of the stray dog he'd just jerked off
Oh, by the way, CSICOP and other 'Skeptical' organizations are a front set up by the CIA, the DIA, other really 'black person' agencies, to keep our slaves ignorant, except for what is needed to keep those assholes (i.e. YOU, the Taxpayer) under control and compliant. If anyone bitches and complains, they'll arrange an "accident" (or committal to a mental hospital, prison, Gitmo, etc.) to deal with them. I kid you not.

When Schroeder found out that there was an article about him on Encyclopedia Dramatica, he slapped his forehead and exclaimed, "Holy Shit! We evil scientism-ists have been exposed! How in HELL did they figure us out so quick?" Then he rallied, "Scientism-ists of the world, unite! We must redouble our efforts to throw back the vandal and the visigoths. They come to Wikipedia and put in their UFO/paranormal/weird shit and we will revert that shit and throw their shitty asses out. And their asses will stay out! We don't want that shit on Wikipedia at all."

In conclusion, this Schroeder cunt is just another example of the SCUM who don't want people to know THE REAL TRUTH. Yeah, you can laugh, but I'm here to tell you that vampire leprechauns and shape shifting fairy spirits are REAL! So are parapsychologically-proven 3 dimensional shadow beings! And an entire FUCKING FLEET of UFO's and black helicopters are buzzing around in my backyard pumping out Van Halen tunes right now!

Wikipedia Articles Which This Evil, Horrible Science Nazi Has Utterly Destroyed

  • My Enneagram4Ever
  • Cat Psychic Powers
  • Mysterious (And Itchy) Pubic Crop Circles
  • Penis Dowsing
  • Angels Can See Auras! (film)
  • The Scientific Evidence For Invisible Ghost Farts
  • Loch Ness Triangle
  • Telekinetic Hookers
  • The Amazing UFO Diet
  • UFO Sex Victims
  • Alien Rolfing
  • Parapsychology Is Respected Science (And If You Don't Believe Me I'll Kill You)
  • Quantum Condom Fetish
  • Antigravity Anal Probe
  • Paranormal Toenail Fungus Phenomenon
  • Scientific Professional Committee For Investigation of Dwarf Levitation
  • Spontaneous Barbecue Sauce Reincarnation
  • James Randi Is A Mean Old Man
  • Paperweight Mutilation Cases
  • Killer Gerbils On Ice
  • Haunted 1969 Chevy Malibu
  • Demons Beneath the Sofa

Links

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