Shay

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
Budd Dwyer.gif
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.

Shay was a 485 pound mule who stirred up a lot of drama by being fat, smelly, and eventually dead. The story involved Lj-favicon.png Shiroioji, Statik, and Dereck.

Go into the article ready to laugh at Shay. She was in the wrong, because she is fat.

Ugh and all the shitting in this Shay needs to be killed with fire.

Contents

The Early Years

Shay and Shiroioji met 100 years ago on the interwebs, through a gay/lesbian parenting community she had been very active in. She mostly wrote about raising her son, Shane, as a single lesbian. They talked online actively, until they both acquired cell phones. Often times, while Shay and Shiroioji were on the phone, Shay's son, Shane, would chat with Shiroioji on the computer.

Shay was soon kicked out of her house by her evil grandmother, rumored to be this_is_warmth. She, in the typical fatass style, went from place to place staying with friends, generally being a disgusting burden on everyone. But this did not last long, and she soon asked Shiroioji to stay at his place, and get her bearings. He agreed, thinking he would get some.

Shay: the Friend, the Roommate, the Smell

Upon moving in with Shiroioji, the house started to smell like "dirt and rotting vegtables". This was supposedly due to a hormonal imbalance, "which would mean that she had a bum full of shit that couldn't be wiped". After Shiroioji got in trouble with his landlord he arranged for her to stay with one of his friends, and she would have a job to pay rent. Sounds like a fair arrangement, amirite?

Well, she soon got in trouble with the new landlords as well due to the stink, causing drama in the complex, and being an overall fat burdensome animal.

This is what sparked a chain of events.

The Beginning of the End

Shiroioji received an e-mail from Shay saying that she was going to "do what she had to do", and then an e-mail from her son, saying she was going to hurt herself, so he called 911. Upon arriving to her house, they found she had downed a bottle of Valerian root, and arrested her, although nobody could figure out how they got handcuffs around her basketball wrists. Later, Shiroioji called her father.

Tl;dr, her father is actually her step father, and she has no son. Shane was just Shay pretending to be a boy. None of the friends she's ever stayed with have met him. The reason for this is because he died soon after birth, being too small. Her body was so gluttonous that it actually denied the boy nutrients in the womb. As Shiroioji wrote, she "took the fun out of dysfunction".

SO, back to the real reason we're here. She left Statik's place a mess. So, Shay being Shiroioji's friend first, he went to help.

Basically, it went like this: menstrual blood, shit stains EVERYWHERE, one duffel bag full of food trash and more shit, another duffel bag containing two 2-litre bottles of urine and assorted waste. The bed sheets were stuck together with diarrhea dried between them. Apparently she has slept in this for several days. If a professional cleaning crew was called to make a budget, it would have probably amounted to at least $9,001.

Home Jenkem Factory

The new found drug Jenkem prompted officials to research Shay from the evidence of bottles filled with collected Jenkem. It turns out that Shay forced herself to have diarrhea so she could mass produce Jenkem. She would then go to the middle school nearest her and sell the Jenkem for $10 dollars a dose. The police caught on but it was too late...

 
 
hay shay how is ur new home i bet every1 there thinks ur the shit
 

 

—parodyofanangel

Death

NEVAR FORGET!!!

Shortly afterwords, Shay shit the bed, figuratively this time. She was found dead on the floor near a multitude of candy wrappers. She died from diabetic overdrive or some shit, which is Latin for eating yourself to death because you're a damn fatass. No one was sorry. They decided to burn her body like they would any dead mule, but the fire lasted so long from burning off the fats that the apartment complex caught fire (damn, amirite?).

See Also

External Links

Jailsuicide.gif
Shay
is part of a series on
An Heroes

Crosshairs.jpg
Failures

Crystal ShinkleJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKlerckKurt CobainLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Nikki CatsourasOtoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonYasmin Browder

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco




Shay is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithAmanda ToddBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

Alex FordAmerica's Third PartyAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoArgent009Arguecat3Bambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBikerfoxBill9929Bob RehahnBroniesByAppointmentToChris-chanChuck M.CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDGTrixieDiaper BoyDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDragoneerDrakonEpic Fat GuyErik RibsskogFagolescentsFat ManFaust & PoryFluffy teh wolfFriends of A-LogFurriesGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGhostG-ZayHellkiller777IchverbotJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Kathleen ToddKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMonica PunkMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNick BravoNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPit ViperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSam PepperSethistoSceptreSchnookumsSonmanicSnapesnoggerSuperlisamcbTheSockDetectiveTyciolUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotWeegeeisgoingtokillmYou

Their Methods

9gagAIDSAnimuAsperger's SyndromeBoozeask.fmBody PillowsBullyingCosplayDead FriendDeviantARTDrugsFanFictionFeminismFleshlightFurry ArtHover hand‎HufflepuffSelf-seclusionHackingIRCJenkemLegoLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMinecraftMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNeckbeardNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of FishRuneScapeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSocial JusticeTulpasTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

Featured article February 25, 2007
Preceded by
I'm so confused
Shay Succeeded by
The Wikipedia Review
Personal tools
a
Spam ED Everywhere

Anonymous VPN



Find us on Google+
VPN Service