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Smogon University
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| |
| Type | Pokemon fan site |
| Founded | 2004 |
| Location | Unknown |
| Key people | Brainman, Tourneyfags, and some other admins that no one cares about. |
| Motto | BAN FUCKING EVERYTHING |
| Industry | Pokémon battling and strategies |
| Products | Battles and tournaments hosted by Basement-dwelling nerds |
| Website | www.smogon.com |
| —Smogonfags on the most OP Pokemon ever, a fucking gopher. | ||
Smogon University is an online competitive Pokemon community that that was created in the year 2004 and is the most widely-accepted competitive website for online battlers everywhere. This website is lurking with basement-dwelling Pokéfans that are desperate for battles and very lonely and they overcome this by contacting other Smogonites and engaging in battles. Most of the competitive Pokémon players on this site are too stupid to realize that a battle that is almost entirely luck-based and can never be even remotely considered competitive and all of them use 'legit' hacks.
Smogon's gay rules are often discussed on 4chan's Pokémon board, /vp/, which never fails to be hilarious as anybody who takes Pokémon that seriously is obviously a Chris-chan tier loser.
Contents |
How it all started
A long time ago, there was this bored and lonely Pokéfan known as Brainman who decided to create a new IRC channel, which he named Smogon, which is the German name for Koffing. After a while, the chat rooms full of lifeless Smogonfags grew large in size and became a website in which Pokémon are placed in categories known as Tiers. While people believe that Smogon is a "friendly" and "Fair and Balanced" Pokémon battling community, it is nothing more than a mantrain of whiny, bitching Poké-tourneyfags who impose unnecessary restrictions, bans all your favorite items and Pokemon, and requires you to "breed you Pokémon and EV-train them" (ironically, most Smogonfags use legit hacks rather than raising Pokemon on their own). Despite all these retarded rules, Pokéfags actually buy this shit and go along with it, as if they were obsessed Twitards joining the Twilight bandwagon.
Rules
The Battle system
To make things short:
The Tier System
The Smogon tier system is a categorized list that classifies Pokémon by how often they are used in online battles. However, the tier system is biased and complete bullshit since many Pokémon that have caused bawww and butthurt among Smogonites were put in the über tier. The tiers here are also secretly codes to which Pokémon have the best porn on rule34
The Tiers:
- OU (Overused) - Most Pokémon on these tier are Pokemon on steroids (For example, Lucario, Dusknoir or Metagross) and are placed here because they have very high stats and are frequently used in almost every fucking battle.
- UU (Underused) - Decent Pokémon (For example: Donphan, Arcanine, Ambipom, and Azumarill) which most people are too idiotic to use.
- NU (Never used) - Nobody bothers using these pokémon at all. Many have potential, but some have inferior stats, movepools, or are very vulnerable to most attacks. Pokéymanz like Jynx, Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee, Electrode, Gardevoir and Lopunny can be found in this tier.
- BL (Borderline) - In danger of being placed in OU. Pokemon like Gallade, Cresselia, and Shaymin can be found here.
- Über - Most of these Pokemon have very high power levels, but some of these (Garchomp and Salamence) where put here since many Smogonfags kept whining that they were getting pwned by Dragons which apparently are so broken for the OU Metagame.
- NFE (Not Fully Evolved) - Pokémon that didn't evolve. These include Mudkip, Koffing, Slowpoke, and will eventually include Smugleaf. This entire tier shows that Smogonfags have no taste.
Smogon hates Garchomp
Smogon-faggotry Spreads to YouTube
Shortly after the release of Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, many Smogonfags flocked to JewTube in order to request and exchange friend codes with other online battlers thanks to the new Wi-Fi features in Diamond and Pearl. They also post their recorded battles online use the message system to talk to each other and to ask for the time they would battle. The majority of online Pokétards favor the Smogon rules and allow these tourneyfags to suppress them and to step on them' plus the tourneyfags will bawww and whine and threatan to send nuclear missles from their mother's BASEMENT OF DOOM to your house, if you don't follow Smogon rules or if you summon Über-tiered Pokémon. Brainman gets huge boners whenever popular online battlers on YouTube like Marriland, Gigatitan, and TheKillerNacho mention his website. It's fap material.
Salamence Uber drama
Last Thursday, the admins in charge of Smogon decided that they were tired of getting assraped by Salamence in every OU match they attend, and decided to place Salamence from OU to Uber. After this decision, many Smogonfags and Pokéfags bawwwwwed and killed themselves after hearing about the decision. However, nobody actually gives a shit since Salamence has low defenses and can de easily pwnt by Pokemon with ice type moves. Of course, in hindsight this seems so trivial, as later on the tourneyfags would have their world turned upside down...
XY: Smogon Officially Proves Themselves Crybabies
Note about the title: Smogon has always been a group of crybabies.
The date is October 12, 2013.
Pokemon X and Pokemon Y are released onto the world. Within them contains a feature with power so awesome that Smogonfags could not possibly comprehend it: Mega Evolutions.
You see, five Pokemon in particular would rise up to strike fear into the over-worked hearts of the Smogon hambeasts:
- Kangaskhan, an obscure MILF from the first games who reminds them that their parents should have had an abortion
- Gengar, the glorious purple rapeface who reminds Smogonfags of getting bullied in middle school
- Mawile, a waifu that Smogon runs away from because they can't handle the loli
- Blaziken, a chicken that reminds Smogon that if they exercised each time they felt the urge to screaming at about pixels and numbers, they would be the largest bodybuilders in the world.
- Lucario, because half of Smogonites are furries.
We have yet to identify why exactly these particular five currently make Smogon shit itself. Our current guess is that these five exist to mock the very existence of Smogonites and, because of their genius design, 99% of the time succeed to shut down the brains of Smogonites on contact. Others theorize that it might be because Smogon really does suck at Pokemon. Some argue that both are true.
Fast forward a few months, and Smogon started to see that there are other powerful Pokemon besides Garchomp. One day, the smogonites had had enough of the tyranny of the fag five. The smogonites, rather than adapt, play around, and utilize the changes of gen 6 like the good folks who actually played the games, decided to cry foul. Smogon prepared the suspect tests (the final trial before the Smogon bans something and then goes back to being "good" at their own comfortable version of Pokemon), and eventually the fag five were banished to Ubers, the realm of awesome Pokemon like Mewtwo and Lugia. However, Smogon was not prepared for what would happen next...
Luckily, we have a script of it!
Scene: It's your typical Uber battle. Smogonite is using a Kyogre-based rain team, just like hundreds of other people, while Winrar is playing with some of his favorites in a no-bars match. To save himself from getting drenched by Kyogre and drowned by the semen produced when a Smogonite claims another victim, Winrar makes a surprising move.
Winrar: "Go, Gengar!"
Smogonite: (chokes back a yelp) "Gengar?"
Winrar: "Gengar, Mega Evolve and use Substitute!"
Smogonite starts to wipe his forehead as his shirt is now saturated in sweat. The smell of week-old cheeseburgers fills the room.
Smogonite: "Kyogre, use Thunder!"
Winrar: "Perish Song!"
Smogonite is now peeing himself in fear, as in three turns the core of his team will be defeated, and because Smogonite sucks at making teams and having gotten this one by copypastad one from his homestead, this means that he will lose the game.
Smogonite: "Y-you can't do that!"
Winrar: "Why not?"
Smogonite: "B-Because I can't switch. It's too broken!"
Smogonite is oblivious to the fact that he had had no problem using the Pokemon version of God a few minutes ago, and now suddenly decides that things are broken when he loses to them.
Winrar: "That's the point of the strategy."
Smogonite: "But I can't switch, and that actually makes me think. I hate thinking. Why do you think that I play Pokemon?"
Winrar: "Point taken."
Smogonite: "BAAAANN!!! BAN IT!"
And so, thanks to the high council of circlejerks who felt that they not preparing for the opponent's team and relying on strategy was anyone's fault but their own, considered Mega Gengar to be too good for Ubers. Such is the eventual fate of all members of the fag five, to stand in front of the firing squad before being banned from the Smogon metagame entirely... which is about as scary and life-changing as being banned from Romania (which is not as scary or life-altering as being banned from irl by the secret Smogon KGB when you talk badly about their fan-limitations of a video game).
Unfortunately, Smogon always misses the mark and failed to realize that you can't kill a ghost. Mega Gengar continues to laugh and troll the tourneyfags to its black heart's content at the expense of various forums that now had to deal with the tears of several manchildren.
News of this would later outrage several members of the Pokemon community, leaving the Smogon asskissers to visciously try to defend their autistic preferences for playing their self-proclaimed "balanced" meta for making this an issue anyway.
Anything Goes
Ah, Mewtwo, the most bitchen Pokemon of all time. It's Frieza turned into an ultra cat, and everyone likes cats! X and Y, however, gave Smogon anxiety when Mega Mewtwo was announced, turning our purple friend into a ravenous beast more powerful than its version of God. Game Freak had done it, it had stuck its middle finger towards Smogon in the most open way possible.
Smogon, however, pressured its five users that make original teams to try to counter this threat, and the results were endless waves of Darkrai in online battles. Mission accomplished? Far from it! Somebody needed to take these pissbabies down a peg!
Then, being the expected Jews that they always are, Game Freak remade Ruby and Sapphire, completely destroying the Pokemon canon (seriously) and introducing Mega Rayquaza, AKA Mewtwotwo: Electric Boogaloo.
Seriously, what the fuck would you call that? Mewtutu? Mewfour?
Smogon decided that Mega Rayquaza was enough, and enough is enough. When enough is enough, bans are appropriate. When enough bans are appropriated, then enough has been enough bans. Except there could not be any more bans, so enough was not enough. For you see, Rayquaza was already an "Uber," which as a reminder means the ultra special tier that only 10 year olds (AKA the target audience) use. Smogon, in a desperate bid to cater to the power creep, decided to create a new format called "Anything Goes," forming Ubers into a tier so that they can start banning things from it too!
Wait a minute. Garchomp... Salamence... Rayquaza... Does Smogon have a problem with some bad dragons?
How to Troll Smogonfags
- Use an Uber Pokémon in battle.
- Use luck items or moves in battles.
- Use Pokésav to generate your Pokemon with maxed out stats in every stat.
- Say "GARCHOMP SHOULDNT B UBOOR LOL, IT DIES TO ONE ICE ATTACK U BUNCH OF SCRUBS"
- Have any fun at all.
- Use Charizard and beat them all. Smogonfags hate Charizard because all the 12 year old kids use it. Beating them with it will cause unbeliveable rage as they thought it was impossible for them to be beat by such a "lowly" pokemon. This Rate-my-team just put them into a firey, tl;dr rant.
- Use Wobbuffet.
- Kill all their pokemans with a level 1 Aron.
- Have Togekiss flinchax with paralysis
- Spam the shit out of the Smogon forums.
- Crapflood the Smogon IRC channels.
- Tell them that Japanese players play with and against their so called 'illegal' movesets all the time and either win or lose and take their results like men; while Amerifat players whine whenever they lose and discuss almost on a daily basic whether or not Water Gun should be allowed or not, or if Mud-Slap (a move with fucking 20 damage points) is broken or not.
- Remind them that they're just manchildren who consider themselves "pro players" of a watered-down version of a children's RPG.
- BONUS ANTI-TROLLING TROLL: Each time smogon bans something within their metagame (every weekend), copypaste a list from /vp/ of ways to handle the "broken" strategy. Smogonfags, rather face the truth that there are people who (gasp) play the game better than them, simply cry about what's defeating the three copypasta teams that the hivemind uses.
- ????
- PROFIT!
A classic example of this was a piece written by "Bystander (innocent)" entitled "The reason Smogonites exist" in the /vp/ - Pokemon Forums. It went something like this:
"I've noticed a chain of hatred between smogonites (The fat ones...Which I guess may or may not include YOU!) and many normals in the Pokemon game (Tourneyfags will use the word metagame which decreases your sex appeal...And there's no way to get it back.)
I believe smogonites however play a vital role and I will use brainman as an example in a hypothetical scenario
"Brainman sits on his computer watching his IRC channel go through the roof with the hustle and bustle of everyday chatting and invitations to battle. One day he decides to accept a challenge from a fellow battler A.K.A n00b. Say hello n00b!
N00b: Uhh..Hello
Now...n00b is using his favorite Pokemon against Brain man who has built what he feels is the "perfect OU Pokemon" thanks to his self imposed Tier system (Thanks yo SSB:B tourneyfags for that one.).
Now he is on a three on three match (Just as an example) with our dear friend n00b...Now this is where the fun starts..You see Brainman has entered the battle starting with his standard OU lead in (Use your imagination..I don't know the tier system THANK GOD) where as our dear friend n00b uses a Pokemon he feels is overpowered....It's name...Wobbuffet..Yes..Good ol' Wobbuffet..You see n00b has seen the anime and since it's appearance has come to enjoy the big guy so much, he's decided to use him.
Brainman remembering his tier system and ban list to the letter rages at him...After losing to his Wobuffet he tries to defeat him with no chance of ever killing the thing...Now at this moment before his last Pokemon comes out..he runs away..n00b of course is yelled at afterword because he was unaware that Wobuffet was so broken and overpowered that it was banned into the uber's list. It is because n00b is not aware of this, he is scolded for his insolence and shunned from the smogon community because he used his favorite Pokemon in a match against someone who instinctively used his self imposed rules on someone who never knew them.
N00b after his posthumous encounter with the God of all Smogon, decides to take action and after doing some research on these so called rules,Seea that they are not real because they are not built into the game (However smogonites will tell you otherwise). In fact these rules were made up on the spot and having learned that fact...Feels good about himself.."
Did you see what happened back there...A regular player going into an Online Pokemon Match against a tourneyfag player like "Brainman." and having said tourneyfag rage because he did not follow smogon rules tells you something.
The moral of this story is simple.
Smogonites and tourneyfags fulfill a niche in this world, They are here....Simply to make normal people like you and me..Feel good about not taking a game serious like a good little nerd.
Here's to you n00b....Now lrn2pwn.
This is a classic (Albeit a bit crude) attempt to peacefully troll smogonites (Especially if it's against their GOD. They will hate you forever but it's all good.)
Firebot Development Lab
Firebot Development Lab is the humorous section where all the douchebags go to hang out. It is considered the "funny" section of the website. However this is a lie. In reality, it is a massive circlejerk full of fucktards who suck at teh Pokémon, yet were retarded enough to join the site anyway. Firebot is full of elitist douchebags who will scare away new posters who are actually funny because they are scared of outsiders. This fear comes from the fact that they are all basement dwellers, and so are actually scared of the outside in real life. They refuse to accept anybody who they don't already know. Your posting quality does not matter there; as long as they already know you, or you are a mod (they love to suck up to mods), you will be accepted. If you aren't, they will mercilessly torture you until you ragequit. There is a slim chance you will be accepted as long as you needlessly berate every good poster you see and encourage the bad ones. They are very easy to troll. The easiest way to troll them is simply to post. Other ways are mentioning serebii.net, calling them unfunny, or spamming 4chan memes. This will result in epic lulz.
In the beginning of January 2011, Firebot was removed. Its successor is even less funny, if that is actually possible. It's back.
External Links
- The Official Smogon page
- Smogon’s mortal enemy and rival website More user-friendly than Smogon
- Another of Smogon’s enemies Founded and owned by obese whiteboy Marriland
- The final enemy of Smogon
- HOLY SHIT, THEY FOUND THIS OUT!
- A regionals battler lists of three things that noobs do in Pokemon. Smogon fails so much at Pokemon that they made the first two points into ban philosophy.
Famous Smogonites
See Also
|
Smogon University is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
| Smogon University is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Smogon University is part of a series on Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
| Smogon University is part of a series on Pokémon </b> | ||||||||
| Abra | Aggron | Bidoof | Blastoise | Charizard | Cloyster | Ditto | Empoleon | Espeon |
| Garchomp | Gardevoir | Hypno | Jynx | Kirby | Koffing | Lanturn | Lickitung | Lopunny |
| Lucario | Lugia | Metapod | Mewtwo | Mudkip | Omanyte | Pikaman | Poliwhirl | Porygon |
| Probopass | Reshiram | Seaking | Shaymin | Shiny Pidgey | Slowpoke | Smugleaf | Snorlax | Snover |
| Squirtle | Xatu | Zoroark | ||||||
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Smogon University is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |


































