—George Orwell (1937) predicting Bernie Sanders supporters a generation in advance.
For what socialism
inevitably never turns into IRL, see communism.
Socialism is the belief that governments can create shit out of thin air. It is closely followed by its child feminism - the unrealistic expectation that all men shall become gay. Socialisms other child is environmentalism. This ideology was created by men wanting to get laid, by means of creating fucking collectives in the countryside. Its offspring are now the natural result of such procreation. They consider it a feat to travel from the countryside to a larger city, even though any eleven year old could do so. They want to relieve their childhood by banning cars and running after windmills akin to Don Quijote.
Socialisms emphasis of community values over individualism means that your body can be dismembered and sewn together to create a new Frankensteinian monsteķkkkr. Very possibly this new body will have parts from many different races, thus being a multicultural baby, the liberal übermensch. Socialists want to take money you earn and give it to homeless people, welfare queens, 28 year old pot smokers who live in their parents' basement, illegal immigrants, and every lazy ass fuck to ever grace the face of the planet. They properly point out that it's only fair: after all their sociology professor told them so.
Socialism is defined as an economic system in which productive capital is either state owned or commonly owned. In Marxist theory, it is the economic stage between capitalism and pure communism. It has killed a lot of people in its attempt to finally perfect the multicultural baby. This means that dialectical materialism dictates that killing people is good for all mankind. They utterly ignore the basics of capitalist economics like supply and demand which means whatever they think the ideal economic structure would be, it would always have chronic shortages. This is evidenced by the fact that Stephen J. Gould was fat as he ate a lot of babies. Despite what they may tell you, all socialists believe that socialism could work if they were in power. In Britfag land, Britishes are like, "Would you like a communist newspaper?, then will probably scream something at you through a megaphone. If you recoil in horror - you win, if you pay to join, you lose. Remember, socialism always kills innocent people but capitalism only killed everyone who probably deserved it anyway. Srsly.
Socialists are normally part of the middle-class and are jealous; they want you to replace the current rulers. Socialists have some groups that believe the poor should own shit instead of the government or capitalists. They're called anarchists and are total fags. Socialists are typically high-school dropouts that failed their economics classes. Socialists typically rely on a shamanistic economic system first started by Karl Marx whilst on a booze binge. This is because they are filthy furries. Some socialists are also nationalists.
Socialism is responsible for more starvation and poverty than AIDS multiplied by famine. It is also responsible for everything bad in an economy; anything good in it is capitalism.
Socialism is the system America had before Ronald Reagan ran the commies out of the government. Eurofag countries still have socialism, which is why Europe gives me a boner and has srsly shitty economic growth.
Socialists would like to change the world, but they cannot, because in a industrialized country they get distracted by the Internet, and starts posting condescending rants on socialist web forums, and they will not travel to the third world in fear of climate change and all.
So technically speaking, all socialists are part of the bourgeois that they cannot seem to stop complaining about - no exceptions.
Future of Socialism
During the brief Golden Age that lasted in between Reagan's to Clinton's administrations, Socialism was deemed defeated. However, and contrary to popular belief the basic tenants of Socialism never died, they have just incarnated into Environmentalism. If not for the sake of the people (which have proven are not worth it), then the government will decide who gets what shit for the sake of Mamma Earth. After W provided closure for the American History X, all Jews needed was an appropriate face to masquerade their violent takeover. A face of a New Hope. A Reconciliator, someone in between black and white, someone beyond that.
The Force of the Will
And prophesy was fulfilled. Two millenia after HIS first dimission |מָשִׁיחַ was sworn President of Earth and quickly awarded Eurofag Seal of Approval. HIS teachings of Jew and tolerance are quickly being implemented by HIS Second Incarnation. So many people have been quoted saying that Jesus was the first Socialist, and despite most of them being douchebags, they are close to correct on this one. Now Socialism is going to be implemented like the deeply religious set of Christian Values that it was meant to be in the first place. EnvironmSocialism is our future unless we do the Christian thing and crucify Jesus Noir a second time. It seemed to work the first time as we got rid of Original Sin just by nailing him to the trunk of an old olive tree. It is therefore assumed that when Jesus 2.0 gets tortured and assassinated, HE will achieve Christdom once again and we might be forgiven for even more sins like Furrydom, Rick Astley or even Windows Vista.
Only infidels wouldn't take such a deal! Zechariah 13:3
Never forget: Jesus was a Jew, Marx was a Jew, Obama's granny on HIS mother's side is German and therefore Jewish, hence Obama is a Jew muslim nigger. Scientists refer to this anomaly as a "Chimera", much like Ebolapox.
Have you ever seen a socialist doing something constructive which does not satisfy himself in some regard? Because actions speak louder than words, socialist's lack of solidarity (a tenet of socialism) means they are either lazy or don't really believe what they advocate. Also socialists always talks about the forceful redistribution of wealth. This means what they actually are saying is that people should be robbed! But as we all know socialists are too slothful to actually rob anyone. So they want someone else to do the robbing: The government! According to socialists Governments where evil throughout time, but after the steam engine's invention the Government suddenly became good, and everyone became a saint at the voting booth, but the devil incarnate when they went to the marketplace.
Even modern socialists thinks this sounds retarded. Therefore they now propose anarchocapitalism, with the exception that they envision themselves going around organized in death squads which kills anyone that initiates stock market launches.
Who are the true moralists?
Some say socialists go around each day and complain about the narrow mindedness of conservatards, pointing out that they are moralists. But let's revalute the facts: What does conservatards want to forbid/limit
Limit gay people's right to marriage.Societies intrusion upon the sacred buildings of christians. Incidentally, socialists call it racism when Islam is being discussed within these terms.
- Slightly alter the totally arbitrary abortion date.
What does socialists want to forbid/limit
- Interfere with how children plays(they forbid a child thinks independently and not look to the government to fix every booboo)
- Stop people from becoming rich(unless you're in a public sector union, because that's who keeps them power in the first place)
- Stop prostitution(They don't like competition over fucking the people out of money)
- Stop Justin Bieber
- Stop women's magazines
- Pranks. Theoretically socialists are against bullying and so forth but they like to make fun of everyone who does not fit with their extremely narrow mental frame, such as religion.
- Interfere with how a couple divide their domestic labour.
- Throw bricks at people's heads and call it justice.
- Be uglier than their right wing counterparts.(have you seen Rachel Notley?)
- Forbid the use of sweat shops. (Because they're competition for their unionized crybabies that get paid 30$ per hour to put 1 screw in something)
- Forbid multinational corporations. (This type of arguing against abstractions is convenient for socialists because it means they don't have to lift their asses and do some work)
- Limit the financial industry (but they for some reasons insist it should get money from the government)
- Limit hiring practices of corporations
- They think governments know better what type of arts, movies and television should be created. (They would have said the same thing about books if they ever were government funded!)
- Not letting the most suited person get a scholarship or employment but instead someone belonging to a minority.
- Socialists are also masculine women and effimenate men because socialist women are acting out and socialist men are turned on by the beards of 19th century philosophers, proving that they are all fags.
- Preaching more than any preacher ever would.
- Limit our use of carbon dioxide. Because we are a fossil fuel economy they want to limit or forbid our use of fucking everything!
- Limit property rights(because private property is a dirty word for socialists)
An amateur socialist is known by his grumpiness, boring monologues and unwillingness to work, as long it does not benefit him in the short run.
Professional socialists have surprisingly come to the conclusion that socialism is actually crap. That's why they instead write about socialism's bastard cousins:
- the-anti-growth-movement: The endeavour to stop people from improving human civilization like finding cures for illnesses and finding ways to stop environmental destruction
- anti-racism: The endeavour to discriminate white people
- feminism: The endeavour to discriminate men and regulate toddlers [sic!]
- environmentalism: The endeavour to discriminate humanity itself and at the same time being hopelessly anthropocentric
- LGBT-rights: The endeavour to give state subsidy and legal support for gender mutilation, also wants homos to marry in churches, but not in sacred buildings of other religions such as mosques and synagogues
- multiculturalism The hypothesis that western culture will vanquish all others cultures simply by letting intercontinental immigrants bask in the glory of western civilization
Some say this generation of professional socialists all will have died a sudden and violent death by the year of 2030. This is because they will go on a environmental friendly pilgrimage to Palestine by bike. When these hippies finally get there, palestinians will hurl pebbles at them when they are goofingly biking, which will fuck up the spokes and cause the bicycle to abruptly halt, plunging the socialist into death.
- Adf-fuensalida - Typical socialist,notice the welfare,poor hygiene,and assburgers.
- Mexishits -Mostly for all the free shit they get from
the governmentthe taxpayers.
- Socialist workers party - Britfagland is full of socialists with their own party of the Mao.
- Barack Hussein Obama (only to conservatards, to anyone with a brain he's part three of the Bush admin)
- Bernie Sanders
- Hugo Chavez
- Jacqui Smith
- Karl Marx
- Kevin Rudd
- Noam Chomsky
- Prime Minister Gordon Brown
- Reaction guy
- Saddam Hussein
- Tony Blair
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