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¡Yo quiero!


This article endeavors to explain the origins, motives and psychology behind the minor and diminutive irc troll better known as 'sonovagun'. Sonovagun initiated his journey into trolldom after being unceremoniously rejected as moderator on ##politics following a prolonged unsuccessful bid at securing the position. Crying out for revenge, he latched on to the scrotal sack of a notorious racialist troll known as krummlauf with the fevered zeal of a pubic louse. Now espousing mildly irritating racialist discourse sonovagun was summarily dismissed from the channel and consequently increased his nut-hugging activities, furiously lapping and wheedling as if the contents of krummlauf's scrotum contained the waters of life. Subsequently he and krummlauf collaborated on a number of skype trolls of ##politics staff and a particularly satisfying series of trolls of noted anti-Zionist Jewish blogger Jew. In an apparent twist of fate, this insignificant pest has completed a rehabilitation program run by the cabal of ##politics and returned to infest the gangrened bowels of their diseased relay chat alongside the rabble of the internet's underbelly. His inconsequential opines in favor of illegal immigration are frequently accompanied by eardrum rattling flourishes like "arriba!"

But those halcyon days of trolling and camaraderie were soon ended, when suddenly, sonovagun declaring his undying devotion to Israel took a dreidel-shaped dagger and stabbed his poor friend in the back in a declaration of unconditional warfare. Following exposures and counter-exposures, the question of sonovagun's unmistakable mestizo appearance was brought up, the result? deafening silence. Repeated inquiries as to how a self-described indian bore such an uncanny resemblance to beaners were similarly stonefaced, although there was a distinct language barrier complicating attempts at communication. Undeterred, scientists and historians plunged the documentary record and uncovered a cornucopia of inculpatory evidence finally shattering this seemingly impossible riddle for all times.


'What is it?' his mother was reported to have exclaimed as she squeezed this hulking malodorous brown ball of joy out of her anal cavity into the welcome arms of mud-streaked porcelain and fetid toilet water, resulting in an instant anal prolapse. Before she could flush the toilet, incredibly, two dark inscrutable, yet unmistakably hispanic eyestalks blinked into existence, signifying the arrival of this strange enigmatic being into, of all places, a toilet bowl in deep in Sinhalese territory (though it was always Sinhalese territory). Suddenly, his father, having heard that all-too-familiar plopping noise and instinctively sensing a clog, dashed to the scene, and true to his low-caste Tamil origins plunged his bare hands into the murky depths presumably to dislodge the corpulent mudball that had now settled to the bottom of the bowl thereby obstructing the freeflow of water typically expected from a commode. Furiously mashing his palms into the rancid slurry and whisking his wrists as though beating an egg smearing porridgey fecal afterbirth all over, the plunger-handed tamil, was said to have exclaimed famously 'SONOVAGUN!' when to his astonishment he discovered that the immobile pulsating mass below actually possessed a low form of insectoid sentience. Not one to allow a good opportunity go to waste, so to speak, the proud bare-handed janitor, immediately enrolled the plump arthropod dumpling in public school, and so began the illustrious career of sonovagun. The insignificant troll is now believed to be in the process of spawning his own larvae dwelling in a location yet to be determined by investigation.


Not knowing how to raise the dusky cockroach, Father Tamil taking his son's gerbil maw in his faeces-caked hands and surveying its more prominent characteristics: bulky compact build, napoleonic stature (nowadays a towering 5'6), ample bosom (estimated c-cup), lazy heavy-lidded mestizo eyestalks, thick luscious caterpillar lips flanked by massive cheek pouches (used to store away acorns scientists think), and immediately concluded to rear sonovagun as a Mexican. Moments later a pedophile sprinkled a bit of fetid toilet water on the fore of the creature's bloated head initiating him into the cult of pedophiles known as Catholicism. Now a full-fledged pedophile sonovagun immediately raped over 9000 children, and offered to blowbang an entire monastery (to no avail as they were not interested in fat mexicans). Not to be underestimated for lacking in stupidity, this beaner-faced curiousity is a tireless supporter of Israel, identifying himself as a Zionist, meanwhile, neglecting their primary responsibility in killing the Christ. This has led some to speculate as to his having Cochin Jew ancestry which is partially supported by his crooked hooked nose, but there is no doubt about it, he is a fat-faced Mexican. In the event of a sighting, spray said troll in the face with a bug repellent and flee to the nearest exit.

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